How does dad’s interaction with mom makes the difference?
We are born symbiotic with our mother. and at about two years old we learn the word no. This is our first attempt at individuation. Then around five years old dad is, hopefully, there to reach into our life and take us out of orbit around mom and bridge us into the world. He then puts the fire in our belly and or the lion in our heart. Dad also helps us learn to love two people at the same time. This process also helps us have boundaries, lead and not shrink back from challenges in the world. It helps us have appropriate aggression
Identity and self-esteem: how dad contributes to these important building blocks.
Our self-esteem comes from our opposite gender parent and our identity comes from our same gender parent. that self-esteem or identity is enhanced or shut down by what our parents say about each other and about themselves. this can happen either implicitly or explicitly.
Four Roles of fathers and how it relates to our developmental stages and can give us great blessings
Nurturer: This role is of primary importance to the child between birth and age five.
Law Giver: This role is of primary importance to the child between the ages of six and twelve.
Warrior/Protector: The role is of primary importance to the child between the ages of twelve and eighteen.
Spiritual Mentor: This role is of primary importance to the older child as he or she moves into adulthood.
See Making Peace With Your Father by David Stoop, Ph.D.
See Making Peace With Your Father by David Stoop, Ph.D.
