Is obsessive thinking keeping you up at night? Maybe you wake up at 3 am and you keep thinking the same thoughts over and over and imagining the worst-case scenario.
You might experience…
Uncontrollable anxiety…
Your stomach in knots…
Your heart pounding…
Your body shaking…
You might even feel stupid or silly for being so anxious.
Wondering…
What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I just calm down?
Will this ever stop?
If that’s you, you’re not alone. I was all of these.
There was a time when I was obsessed with anxious thoughts. I was drowning in worry and fear. My thinking was dominated by fearful “what if’s” about the future. I was a basket case of tense energy unable to stop frantic thoughts.
All I wanted was to calm down, be able to sleep, and get control of myself. I wanted to be able to think clearly rather than being overwhelmed with scary images of what could happen.
I needed to stop my obsessive thinking. I needed to get clear about what was really happening.
With help, I was able to calm down and think clearly.
Here’s what I discovered….
My obsessive thinking was driven by the assumptions I was making about what might happen.
That’s right….my thoughts were focused on what might happen…not reality!
ASSUMPTIONS were killing me!
What is an assumption?
Simply put, an assumption is something that we accept as true or as likely to happen without proof.
Where Assumptions Come From
Assumptions or prejudgments develop throughout our lives. Childhood experiences shape unconscious ideas and conclusions about everything. Throughout our early development and into adulthood we absorb thinking patterns modeled by significant others.
How Assumptions Act
Assumptions act as “filters” for everything that happens. These “filters” pop up automatically in our thinking and cause anxiety. Based on a lifetime of developing assumptions, our minds jump to conclusions that actually have no basis in reality.
It’s about spontaneous, involuntary thoughts that jump into our heads causing worry and fear.
We make assumptions about all kinds of things. We automatically accept assumptions as true when they’ve not been tested by reality. This results in worry and overwhelm.
What assumptions are you making right now? How are these assumptions making you anxious?
How to Let Go of Assumptions Causing Anxiety
1. Ask yourself: How true is this assumption really? Is this really likely to happen? Take time to become aware of thoughts automatically surfacing in your mind. Then reflect on these questions honestly and carefully.
Getting clear and practical about the situation you’re anxious about provides new perspectives. Taking a “matter-of-fact” approach generates a sensible, authentic thought pattern. It helps you think logically and calms you down.
2. Create a blank space in your thinking. Pausing to reflect on what’s really true in a worrisome situation, produces a void or empty space. Hold the empty space. Avoid allowing more assumptions to crowd your mind.
Keeping an open mind is difficult. It means consistently throwing out automatic, harmful thoughts. It means patience and offering kindness to yourself as you do the work of keeping an open mind until real evidence shows up. Then you can make a rational decision. Now it’s not an imagined answer rooted in your anxiety. It is a decision based on the facts.
That is how you can stop obsessive thinking. That is one technique I used to do it and you can do it too.
Several months ago, a woman overwhelmed with anxiety about a situation in her family contacted me. She could not stop thinking about the problems. She was losing sleep and unable to function.
We talked about the thoughts that were troubling her. As she sorted out what was really true in her confused thoughts, she began to feel lighter and calmer. She gained clarity about what was really going on.
I hope you can follow these tips and reduce your anxiety.
But if you are truly struggling with obsessive thoughts keeping you up at night, imagining worst-case scenarios, and you can’t get it to stop, watch my Free 10 Minute Video on How to Stop Anxiety at https://janekcoaching.com/how-to-stop-anxiety/. Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation at https://janekcoaching.com/schedule-a-call/
