Christian Counselor Directory Blog

Transform Your Work with Couples: Become a Certified Prepare/Enrich Facilitator

The Prepare/Enrich assessment system revolutionizes how you work with couples, offering instant, data-driven insights into their unique relationship dynamics.

Why Choose Prepare/Enrich?
-Backed by 40 years of research and validation

-Proven to reduce divorce risk by 30% for couples in crisis

-Designed to support couples at any stage of life

-Effective in both clinical and faith-based settings

-Helps you gain deeper insights in less time

What You’ll Gain from Certification:
After completing my interactive workshop, you'll walk away with the confidence and skills to:

-Guide couples through the assessment process

-Accurately interpret their personalized results

-Provide meaningful, tailored feedback

-Facilitate engaging, growth-focused conversations

-Teach practical, research-based relationship skills

Ready to take your work with couples to the next level? Let's get you certified.

Workshop Details:

Date: Saturday, May 10th
Time: 8:30 AM - 4 PM

Location: Rutherford Bible Chapel, 161 W Passaic Ave., Rutherford, NJ

Costs:
$250.00 (includes training materials)
Early Bird: $235 (by April 10th)
Couples Discount: $400

Register Today:
Contact Gerard DeMatteo, MA, LPC
Email: rbc161@gmail.com
Phone: 201-724-9311

Emotions can feel overwhelming—for both parents and kids. But you don’t have to navigate them alone.

This book offers practical tools and biblical wisdom to help you build deep emotional connection and raise children who thrive—both psychologically and spiritually.

In moments of calm and in times of big feelings, sit with your child and explore the pictures, stories, step-by-step conversation guides, and psalms together.

You don’t need to read another parenting manual.
Just open this book and reclaim your confidence in the sacred work of parenting.

Discover the incredible power of faith and resilience at our enlightening webinar, *Women of Faith – Overcoming Adversity*. This captivating event brings together a diverse group of inspiring women who share their personal journeys of overcoming life's challenges through faith and perseverance. Whether you're seeking motivation, guidance, or a sense of community, our webinar offers valuable insights and strategies to help you navigate your own path to triumph. Reserve your spot and join us for an uplifting experience that will empower your spirit and inspire your journey.

Gratitude: A Divine Design for Wholeness
It's easy to overlook the simple yet transformative power of gratitude. Beyond being a polite response, gratitude is a profound spiritual practice that aligns our hearts with God's will and brings about peace.
The Biblical Foundation of Gratitude
The Bible tells us the importance of thankfulness. In 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18, Paul writes, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." This passage reminds us that gratitude isn't contingent on our circumstances but is a continual place we are to live in.
The Psalms are filled with calls to be thankful. Psalm 100:4 encourages us to "Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name." This demonstrates that gratitude is not just a response to blessings but a gateway into deeper communion with God.
The Science Behind Gratitude
Modern research corroborates what Scripture has long taught: gratitude has benefits for our mental, emotional, and physical health.
• Mental Health: Research has shown that practicing gratitude can lead to increased happiness and a reduction in depression.
• Physical Health: Grateful individuals often experience better sleep, lower blood pressure, and improved heart health. dralamountain.org
• Social Connections: Expressing gratitude can strengthen relationships, fostering a sense of community and belonging.
These findings reveal that gratitude is more than a spiritual discipline; it's a holistic practice that nurtures every aspect of our being.
How to Have Gratitude in Daily Life
• Gratitude Journaling: Each day, jot down three things you're thankful for. This practice shifts focus from what's lacking to what's abundant.
• Prayer and Meditation: Begin and end your day by thanking God for His blessings, both big and small.
• Acts of Kindness: Express appreciation to others through kind words or deeds, reflecting God's love in tangible ways.
So, what are you grateful for today?? God is listening, and so is your brain. 😊

According to a 2023 Gallup survey, 47% of Americans identify as “religious”, and 33% as “spiritual”. And a 2003 report issued by the National Library of Medicine reported that members of the clergy, across religious and denominational lines, were contacted by persons with mental health issues in higher proportions (23.5%) than were psychiatrists and general medical practitioners (16.7% each).

A 2023 article in the American Psychological Association publication Monitor on Psychology asserts: “Myriad studies show that religious or spiritual involvement improves mental health and can be useful in coping with trauma.” The article also suggests that when clergy don’t know enough about psychology and clinicians not enough about spirituality, they can inadvertently do harm to those who seek their help. Therefore, how religious leaders, who are generally untrained or under-trained in clinical psychology, respond to such persons may require careful discernment to ensure that it helps and does not unintentionally harm. Likewise, it is also incumbent on mental health clinicians to possess a good working knowledge of how spirituality can be embedded into clients’ narratives about self, others, and the world.

On the clinical side, I have sometimes stumbled in this regard. For instance, I used to blanketly impart to my clients the virtues of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a theory grounded in Western “bootstrap” individualism in which one is supposed to achieve what Maslow called “Self-Actualization”: by devoting their life to ascending the pyramid via achievement and individual growth until, if fortunate, one makes it all the way to the top (a pinnacle that even Maslow admitted few ever reach). Maslow, it turns out, co-opted his model from the Blackfoot Nation term niita ‘pitapi, which means “someone who is completely developed, or who has arrived.” Blackfoot spirituality perceives niita ‘pitapi as a birthright and not something to be gained through individual effort. Blackfoot culture, like that of many other indigenous communities throughout the world, is collectivist rather than individualistic, and grounded in mutual cooperation and sharing of resources. To paraphrase a Blackfoot saying, the wealthiest person in the community is the one with the least material possessions, because they gave most of them away to others who needed them more.

When we don’t properly understand a client’s particular cultural and spiritual background and if it is not like that of Western culture, espousing Maslow’s Pyramid as a self-help tool can be an afront. This is where we as clinicians have the obligation to become spiritually and culturally informed.

Those who serve their religious communities have a similar obligation. As I sat in church one recent Sunday morning, the music director introduced a worship song. “If this song does not grip your heart,” she said, “I don’t know if you’re a Christian.” The song, living up to her promise was indeed gripping and inspirational. Later our pastor, in his sermon, spoke on how, if you can’t push past your guilt, grief, pain and brokenness in order to embrace the idea that God has His hand on your life, then you, as a believer, must change your way of thinking.

Those messages brought me back to a young client I’d seen a few days earlier. Just 24 hours prior, their spouse had died suddenly and unexpectedly. My client was understandably still in shock and disbelief. “I feel numb,” they said. “I don’t know why I can’t cry right now, although sometimes I spontaneously have been. I just don’t know what I feel.”

As Sunday services continued, I thought to myself, what if any emotions would my client (also a Christian) be able to feel were they sitting with me at that moment? What would they be thinking about God and eternal life, and how would they perceive the comments that if they weren’t feeling “gripped” by the song then they might not be a Christian, that if they can’t at that point cast aside their devastation and feel the spirit of God, then they must change their mindset?

To be clear, I do not question the good intentions of the music director and the pastor any more than I question my own good intentions when I preached Maslow. Their mission is to inspire and equip the congregation to get closer to God and spread the Good News of Jesus Christ. The problem, however, is that too often such messages are geared toward people in relatively good mental health. But for persons struggling with depression, grief and loss, trauma, and other issues, such words can cut like a knife and increase distress rather than soothe it.

Let’s take trauma for example. Research shows that traumatic experiences, such as sexual assault, alter the synaptic functions in the brain, particularly what is called fear circuitry to where the victim can experience distressing nightmares, hyper-arousal and hypervigilance, avoidance of certain places, people and activities, and even flashbacks (where they actually relive the event as if it were happening all over again in real time). Trauma is existential: it challenges our erstwhile narratives of self, other people, and the world. This can alter, either temporarily or permanently, our concept of how our God or higher power loves us, protects us, and nurtures us. It may even challenge our belief altogether.

This is not a sign of weak faith. Fr. Francis P. Duffy, the iconic chaplain of the 69th New York Infantry Regiment (165th U.S. Infantry), served valiantly with his men in the trenches of World War I, regularly venturing into No Man’s Land to minister to wounded and dying soldiers and assisting stretcher bearers in bringing the casualties back to aid stations. While he was never known to have suffered what was then called “shell shock” (now PTSD), on at least one occasion he was reported to have sobbed uncontrollably upon finding the body of a soldier he’d mentored.

So how can we bridge the gap between religion and mental health, especially now when so many people need hope, assurance, and healing? I suggest that clinicians and clergy begin to more proactively reach out to one other for better mutual understanding, to exchange clinical and spiritual insights, and to collaborate in serving our clients and congregants. Here’s how we might do this:

1. Establish connections with ministers, priests, rabbis, imams, and other religious leaders, to discuss our common interest in helping those we serve to heal and to live a more balanced and satisfying life.

2. Cross-refer with them, when indicated.

3. Learn as much as we can about our own religion and other religions, particularly those that are most prevalent within our catchment areas. And make ourselves available to educate clergy members on the basic neuropsychology of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, trauma, and other mental health conditions.

4. Adopt a faith-based component to our services, and promote it in our social media, websites, and other communication platforms.

Imagine the possibilities that might arise from such a synergy between psychology and spirituality in helping our clients to overcome their challenges.

We praise people for their strength.
For being high-achieving, dependable, composed.

But what happens when those traits are rooted in trauma—not wholeness?

This is what I call the Trauma of Functioning (TOF).

What Is TOF?
TOF is when your productivity, people-pleasing, or perfectionism isn’t coming from a place of joy—but from unresolved trauma.

You show up.
You get things done.
You look like you’re thriving on the outside.

But inside?

You’re tired.
Disconnected.
Running on survival.

And often, no one knows—because your “high-functioning” self hides it so well.

How TOF Shows Up
– You feel guilty for resting
– You overthink everything
– You keep saying “yes” to avoid conflict
– You’re great at holding it together, but not being held
– You can’t remember the last time you felt joy without exhaustion

Sound familiar?

This isn’t weakness.
It’s wiring.
And it’s more common than you think.

The Neuroscience Behind It
When you’ve experienced ongoing stress, trauma, or emotionally unsafe environments, your nervous system adapts.

Your amygdala (fear center) stays on alert.
Your prefrontal cortex (decision-making) gets overloaded.
Your vagus nerve struggles to signal safety.

So you stay “on.” Even when you want to rest.

You Don’t Have to Perform to Be Worthy
Healing the Trauma of Functioning doesn’t happen through more doing.
It starts with awareness, nervous system regulation, and self-empathy.

You get to:

✅ Set boundaries without guilt
✅ Feel instead of fix
✅ Learn to rest without panic
✅ Redefine what strength means

You don’t need to fall apart to prove you're hurting.
And you don’t need to prove your worth through exhaustion.

Ready to Begin?
If this blog resonated with you, I invite you to download my free workbook:
“Surviving Mode: What’s Really Happening & What Healing Looks Like.”

It’s designed for high-functioning professionals like you who are ready to move from survival to sustainable healing.

http://trauma.la/newsletter/

Let’s unlearn survival and build something softer, stronger, and more sacred.

Written with care,
Krystal Boothe, LCSW
Founder, Wings of the Future

Today, I want to take some time to explore mental health diagnoses. Many individuals often sense that something feels “off” or “wrong” and, after researching their symptoms, may have come across a diagnosis that resonates with them. They might have turned to Google or social media, only to identify with a specific condition. This identification can lead to the embodiment of the symptoms they read about or hear associated with that diagnosis.

For some, the next step happens quickly, while others may mull over it for months or even years. Often, people visit a healthcare provider to validate their self-diagnosis, seeking confirmation through an assessment, follow-up questions, and ultimately a formal diagnosis. This validation can bring a sense of relief. But then, what happens next?

In many cases, the individual is referred to a specialist who prescribes medication, offers therapy, or sometimes both. While this approach addresses the symptoms and may provide temporary relief, it doesn’t always focus on the root cause of why these symptoms emerged in the first place.

Take, for example, someone diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. They might feel overwhelmed, disorganized, or unable to manage day-to-day responsibilities. These challenges can create significant disruptions in their life—such as struggles with punctuality, relationships, and keeping up with responsibilities. But is anyone asking deeper questions? For instance, have they been taught organizational skills? Are we exploring how diet and factors like food additives (e.g., Red #40) impact their cognitive functioning?

While it's true that those who suffer from ADD/ADHD face real struggles, sometimes medication becomes a necessity. However, my approach goes beyond just treating symptoms. I aim to support the individual as a whole, helping them explore the root causes of their symptoms. More often than not, factors like diet and lifestyle play a much bigger role than we often acknowledge. This quick-fix, “band-aid” approach is no longer enough in a rapidly changing world. We need a more comprehensive way to teach people how to function, cope, and truly support their body—the body that God has given them.

When you're feeling anxious, depressed, or struggling to concentrate, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by your daily life. These symptoms can severely impact your ability to function and find joy. It's understandable why people are eager to take medication prescribed by someone they trust, hoping it will provide relief. For some, it works, while others might find it frustrating that medication often seems to be the only option available.

Medications can be helpful for many, but they should always be a choice made with informed consent, where all options are considered.

What often goes unaddressed, however, are the significant lifestyle factors—such as diet and overall well-being—that contribute to mental health struggles. For instance, why is a person staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning, only to get four hours of sleep? Could their excessive caffeine consumption—three, four, or even five cups a day—be playing a role in their symptoms?

These are essential conversations to have. Caffeine, for example, is a drug. When used in moderation, it can be beneficial, but overuse can lead to negative side effects. Our modern, fast-paced lifestyle often encourages overreliance on caffeine, especially when trying to keep up with the demands of daily life. But it’s crucial to ask, what’s going on beneath the surface? Why is this person relying on five cups of coffee? Are there lifestyle changes that could support better sleep, self-care, and natural energy sources like nutrition and sunlight?

Taking a whole-body approach to health is critical. If someone’s diet is poor and they're not getting essential nutrients, their body might interpret it as being in danger and try to conserve energy. By supporting the body through diet, lifestyle, and natural methods, we can often uncover a clearer picture of the root causes behind these symptoms.

I don’t want to undermine the validity of any diagnosis; rather, the key is what we do with that diagnosis and how we support the individual to make sustainable, lasting changes. True healing involves more than just addressing symptoms. It's about helping people find joy, peace, and a deeper connection to their purpose and spirit.

Spiritual Health and Mental Well-being

It’s also important to recognize how mental health impacts our spiritual connection. Many people find it difficult to feel connected to the Holy Spirit when they're overburdened by physical or mental stress, like excessive caffeine consumption. While this is just one example, it highlights a broader truth: our bodies and spirits are interconnected, and one can deeply influence the other.

When we begin supporting the body in a way that honors its design, we can create space for God to dwell more fully within us. As we address the physical symptoms, we can make room for spiritual healing, inviting the Holy Spirit to work in and through us. God created our bodies with a specific purpose, and when we honor that purpose, we can live the life we were meant to.

The holistic approach is about supporting the body naturally, in a way that respects how God created us. For some, that might mean reducing caffeine, eating cleaner, or even getting off medications if they’re no longer serving the body’s true needs. It's about using the tools God gave us—like whole foods, herbs, and nature’s energy sources—to nourish and strengthen our bodies.

Sustainable Changes for a Healthier Life

In my work, my goal is to help individuals improve their “temple” and create a space for spiritual growth and healing. This often involves eliminating distractions—whether they’re physical, emotional, or spiritual—and making intentional changes that align with God’s design for our bodies. Taking time for self-care, getting outdoors, eating nourishing foods, and connecting spiritually are essential parts of this process.

It’s important to start small. Make one change at a time. Start with a minute of sunshine, one healthy meal a week, one belly breath a day, or an extra hour of sleep. These small steps can build momentum and lead to sustainable changes that promote long-term well-being.

If you're not currently praying or connecting with God regularly, I encourage you to start. Take five minutes each day—whether during your commute, while doing dishes, or even in the shower—to offer your time to God. Those five minutes might feel small, but they can unlock powerful spiritual growth and provide the strength needed to overcome physical and emotional struggles.

Supporting Your Journey

Remember, the goal isn’t to completely overhaul your life overnight—it’s about making gradual, sustainable changes that support your overall well-being. If you need help navigating these changes or exploring your mental health journey, I am here to support you. I can help you create a plan, connect with professionals, and walk alongside you on this healing path. Don’t hesitate to reach out—together, we can work toward a healthier, more fulfilled life.

Marriages are a union of two unique individuals with separate interests, goals, and perspectives. While merging lives is a beautiful and intimate experience, maintaining individuality and personal space within this union is critical. This balance can be achieved through establishing certain boundaries. Here are seven important boundaries that every marriage needs to ensure a healthy and respectful relationship.

1. Emotional Boundaries

One of the most crucial boundaries to set in a marriage is emotional ones. These are essential to protect your emotional health and maintain a sense of individuality. Emotional boundaries serve as an understanding between partners on how to handle each other's feelings.

Respect each other's feelings: It's vital to acknowledge that your partner's feelings are just as valid as yours. This means refraining from dismissing or invalidating their emotions, even if they differ from yours.

Allow space for individual emotions: Each person has the right to feel different emotions, even at the same situation or event. It's important not to impose your feelings on your partner.

Communicate openly about emotional needs: Transparency about emotional requirements allows both partners to understand what they need from each other.

Remember, setting emotional boundaries doesn't mean shutting off emotionally from your spouse; instead, it involves communicating openly about your feelings and respecting one another's emotional needs.

2. Physical Boundaries

Physical boundaries are not limited to issues of intimacy but also include personal space and comfort levels in various scenarios.

Personal Space: Every individual has their comfort levels when it comes to physical touch and personal space, which should be respected by the spouse.

Non-Sexual Touch: Non-sexual touch like holding hands, hugging etc., can be equally important as sexual intimacy in building connection.

Intimacy Level: Conversations about comfort levels regarding intimacy should be ongoing in any marriage.

3. Digital Boundaries

In the age of social media and constant digital connection, setting digital boundaries is also significant.

Privacy: Respecting each other's digital privacy is as important as physical privacy. For instance, it is inappropriate to read your partner's messages or emails without their consent.

Online Interaction: Discussing comfort levels for online interactions with others, the content shared and hours spent on digital platforms can prevent disagreements later.

4. Time Boundaries

Time is a precious commodity and how it's spent within a marriage is key to maintaining balance.

Individual Time: Each partner should have time to pursue their interests or simply be alone.

Couple Time: Set aside regular time for activities that you both enjoy.

5. Social Boundaries

Social boundaries refer to interactions with family, friends, colleagues and other social circles.

Family Interactions: It's important to negotiate how much time you spend with each partner's family.

Friendships: Both partners should have the freedom to maintain individual friendships while also respecting the relationship.

6. Financial Boundaries

Money can often become a contentious issue in marriages if not handled properly.

Budgeting: Regular discussions on budgeting and expenditure are crucial in managing financial stress in a marriage.

7. Environmental Boundaries

These include decisions about your shared environment like home organization or lifestyle choices such as choosing eco-friendly alternatives like bamboo straws.

Financial Boundaries in Marriage

One of the most common sources of conflict in marriages is finances. From differing views on spending to keeping secrets about personal debts, financial issues can create wedges in even the strongest relationships. Establishing clear financial boundaries is a vital part of maintaining a healthy marriage.

Open Communication About Finances

Couples should make it a habit to discuss their financial situation regularly. Such conversations might include income, debts, savings, and individual spending habits. Open communication about finances can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts later on.

Discuss your individual money philosophies and try to reach a mutual understanding.

Be honest about any debts or liabilities you may have.

Share your financial goals and work together to achieve them.

Joint Decision-Making on Major Purchases

Major purchases or investments should always be a joint decision. This boundary ensures that both parties feel valued and involved in the family's financial health.

Set an agreed-upon amount for what constitutes a "major purchase." This could be anything from $100 to $1000, depending on your financial situation.

Always consult each other before making such purchases.

Discuss potential investments together and agree on an investment strategy.

Separate or Joint Accounts

Decide whether you want to combine all your finances into joint accounts, keep everything separate, or have a mixture of both. There is no one-size-fits-all answer; it depends on your personal preferences and what works best for your relationship.

Consider having joint accounts for shared expenses such as rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries while having separate accounts for personal expenditure.

Having some level of financial autonomy can contribute positively to individual self-esteem and relationship harmony.

Budgeting Together

Creating a budget together helps ensure that everyone's needs are met within the constraints of what you can afford. It can also help prevent disagreements about money.

Sit down together and outline your income and expenses.

Prioritize spending based on your collective needs and wants.

Regularly review your budget to adjust for changes in income or expenditure.

Transparency About Financial History

All marriages are built on trust, which includes being honest about your financial history. If you have substantial debts or bad credit, it's important to let your partner know before these issues affect your joint finances.

Balancing Equality and Fairness

Ideally, both partners should contribute equally towards shared expenses. However, when there is a significant income disparity between partners, a fair approach may not be an equal one.

For instance, rather than splitting expenses 50/50, consider each contributing a percentage of their income.

Discuss and agree on what feels most comfortable and fair for you both.

Remember that communication is key in setting financial boundaries. Always keep an open mind and be ready to compromise when necessary. Incorporating the use of household items such as bamboo straws into your budgeting can also contribute to reducing costs while promoting sustainable living – more evidence that successful budgeting needs creative thinking too!

Sisters, do you need a little space to focus and take care of YOU? Join us at Immeasurably More Counseling, Coaching, and Consulting (IMC3) for Center &Soar Hours, a 2-hour virtual co-working session designed for busy women who want intentional, purposeful time to tackle their to-do list.

📌 Use this time however YOU need:
✔ Plan meals or shop your grocery list
✔ Schedule appointments or take care of errands
✔ Work out, meditate, or read a great book
✔ Study for an exam or work on a pitch
✔ Attend to personal care or call a friend

This is your time to focus and flourish in a supportive, no-pressure community. Start with an optional check-in, dive into your tasks, and close with a 5-minute wrap-up.

When: 9:45 AM – 11:45 AM (ET) on Mondays
Where: Register for the meeting link by copying and pasting this link into your browser [https://bit.ly/4htPyMG].

Share with a friend who might want to join, and let’s honor God with our time!

Breaking Strongholds: Overcoming Spiritual Barriers in Christ
In our Christian walk, we often encounter spiritual strongholds—deep-seated patterns of thinking, habits, or struggles that keep us from fully experiencing God’s power and freedom. These strongholds can be rooted in fear, pride, doubt, addiction, or past wounds, and they hinder our spiritual growth. But the good news is that through Christ, we have the power to break free.
What Are Strongholds?
The Bible speaks of strongholds as mental and spiritual fortresses that oppose God’s truth. In 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, Paul reminds us:
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God."
Strongholds can be lies we believe, unhealthy behaviors we repeat, or fears that keep us bound. They distort our perception of God, ourselves, and others.
Recognizing Strongholds in Our Lives
Some common strongholds include:
• Fear and Anxiety – Believing the lie that God won’t take care of us.
• Unforgiveness – Holding onto past hurts instead of releasing them to God.
• Addiction – Seeking comfort in substances, entertainment, or other distractions instead of Christ.
• Pride – Relying on our strength rather than surrendering to God’s will.
How to Tear Down Strongholds
1. Identify the Lies
Strongholds often begin with deception. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any lies that have taken root in your mind. Are you believing that you are unworthy of love? That God doesn’t hear your prayers? That you can’t change?
2. Replace Lies with God’s Truth
The Word of God is our weapon. In John 8:32, Jesus says, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Replace negative thoughts with God’s promises. Meditate on verses like Philippians 4:13 (“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”) and Romans 8:1 (“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”).
3. Pray and Declare Victory
Spiritual battles require spiritual weapons. Pray fervently, asking God to break every chain in your life. Declare His Word over your struggles.
4. Walk in Obedience
Breaking strongholds isn’t just about praying—it’s about action. If a stronghold is tied to sin, repent and turn from it. If it’s linked to fear, step out in faith.
5. Seek Accountability
Sometimes, strongholds are too big to tear down alone. Find a trusted mentor, pastor, or Christian friend who can pray with you and offer encouragement.
The Power of Freedom in Christ
When we surrender our strongholds to Jesus, He replaces bondage with freedom, despair with hope, and fear with peace. No stronghold is too big for God’s power. Through faith, prayer, and His Word, we can walk in the victory He has already won for us!
Are there any strongholds you need to break today? Bring them before the Lord, and let His truth set you free.
If you’re feeling unbalanced in any of these areas, I am here to help. Reach out today for a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation. (772-446-1922), or check out my website at https://caterpillarcounseling.webflow.io/therapy
Be blessed,
Dawn Taylor

Mike, an Army veteran needs healing. The emotional scars from combat often manifest as negative thought patterns that can contribute to anxiety, OCD, and various addictions, such as nicotine, alcohol, and unhealthy relationships with food and sex. However, Mike’s journey illustrates that overcoming these challenges is possible through intentional strategies and support.



1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

One of the first steps Mike took to combat his negative mindset was engaging in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This evidence-based approach helps individuals identify and challenge distorted thinking patterns. Through sessions with his therapist, Mike learned to recognize automatic negative thoughts, such as “I am worthless” or “I’ll never be happy again.”



By actively questioning these thoughts and replacing them with more realistic and positive affirmations, Mike began to reframe his perspective. For instance, he shifted from thinking, “I will always struggle with addiction,” to “I am learning to manage my triggers one day at a time.” This shift in thinking not only alleviated his anxiety but also empowered him to confront his behaviors, helping him regain control over his life.



2. Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)

In addition to traditional therapies, Mike discovered Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), a relatively new modality designed to help individuals process and heal from trauma quickly. ART focuses on altering the negative images and feelings associated with traumatic experiences, enabling clients to integrate and release the emotional pain tied to those memories.



During his ART sessions, Mike was guided through visualization techniques where he could create new, positive images to replace the distressing ones associated with his trauma. For example, he was encouraged to visualize the traumatic event and then modify it by changing specific elements—like replacing the sights or sounds with something calming and reassuring.



This process helps desensitize individuals to the trauma, allowing them to confront painful memories without the overwhelming emotional response typically associated with them. Mike found this approach particularly effective in addressing the flashbacks and intrusive thoughts that often plagued him. By altering the way he visualized his experiences, Mike could begin to reclaim his narrative, transforming his trauma from something that controlled him into a story of resilience and strength.



3. Mindfulness and Meditation

In addition to therapy, Mike discovered the power of mindfulness and meditation. Initially skeptical, he began practicing mindfulness exercises after being encouraged by his counselor. By focusing on the present moment and learning to observe his thoughts without judgment, Mike found that he could create a buffer against the overwhelming anxiety that often triggered his compulsions.



Incorporating mindfulness into his daily routine—whether through guided meditations, deep breathing exercises, or simply taking quiet moments to reflect—helped Mike cultivate a sense of calm. This practice allowed him to distance himself from negative thoughts and cravings, fostering a more balanced emotional state.



4. Physical Activity

Mike also realized the importance of physical health in overcoming his negative mindset. Regular exercise became a crucial outlet for managing stress and anxiety. Whether it was lifting weights at the gym, going for a run, or practicing yoga, movement helped Mike release pent-up energy and boost his mood.



Research has shown that exercise increases the production of endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters. For Mike, the endorphin rush provided a sense of accomplishment and a natural high that gradually reduced his reliance on substances like nicotine and alcohol. Moreover, the discipline required in maintaining a fitness routine helped him build resilience and focus, counteracting negative thought patterns.



5. Support Groups

Finding community support was another significant aspect of Mike’s recovery. He joined several support groups specifically designed for veterans facing similar challenges. Sharing his experiences with peers who understood his struggles created a sense of belonging and validation. Hearing others’ stories also reminded him that he wasn’t alone in his fight against addiction and mental health issues.



In these groups, Mike learned valuable coping strategies and developed friendships that provided encouragement during tough times. Knowing that others were rooting for his success made a world of difference, as he was able to draw strength from their shared experiences and insights.



6. Spiritual Growth and Faith

Perhaps the most profound aspect of Mike’s journey was the rekindling of his faith. During his struggles, he often felt distant from God, but through counseling and the support of his church community, he began to explore his relationship with Christ again.



Reading Scripture, particularly verses that emphasized God’s love and forgiveness, such as Isaiah 41:10, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God,” provided Mike with reassurance and hope. Prayer became a powerful tool for him to release his worries and fears to God, fostering a sense of peace and grounding that countered his anxiety.



7. Establishing Healthy Routines

Mike learned that structure and routine were critical in combating his negative mindset. He established a daily schedule that included time for work, exercise, support group meetings, prayer, and self-care. By creating predictable patterns in his life, he reduced the uncertainty that often led to anxiety and compulsive behaviors.

Routine also allowed him to set and achieve small goals, whether it was reading a book, preparing healthy meals, or attending a recovery meeting. Each accomplishment built his confidence, reinforcing a positive mindset and diminishing the power of negative thoughts.

Final Thoughts

Mike’s journey illustrates that overcoming a negative mindset is not a solitary endeavor; it requires a multifaceted approach. Through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Accelerated Resolution Therapy, mindfulness practices, physical activity, community support, spiritual growth, and establishing healthy routines, he was able to reclaim control over his thoughts and behaviors.

By understanding that healing is a process that takes time and effort, Mike has learned to view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. His story serves as a powerful reminder that, with the right support and strategies, it is possible to overcome the shadows of the past and embrace a brighter future filled with hope and healing.

Spring Toward Forgiveness

“You’re Bambi,” my dearly departed husband loved to tease when someone hurt my feelings or took advantage of me.

Not the most endearing of pet names, but Bambi accurately described my nature – vulnerable, sensitive, and a bit naïve to the predatory hunters of this world. And yet, like Bambi, I also returned into spring after surviving many winter tragedies, like my mother’s untimely death when I was a doe-eyed young adult.

Given the frequency and severity of many predators’ attempts to harm me (physically, emotionally, financially, and socially), I have developed a thicker hide and a greater capacity for forgiveness, a process that helps me find inner peace.

My Path to Forgiveness
Over the years, my Bambi nature has become both a blessing and a curse. On the blessing side, kindred spirits behold me as a safe confidante; on the curse side, malicious predators eye me as a bully target.

Don’t get me wrong. Like a deer, I can abandon my normal peaceful stance when I perceive a serious threat, particularly one I find morally objectionable. The deer hunter on my path usually freezes in the headlights because I don’t lash out in anger. Instead, I attack with cold logic and indisputable facts, generally resulting in the hunter’s quiet, unrepentant retreat – necessitating my need to forgive.

Fortunately, I am a psychologist who actively bucks mental health stigma and openly seeks counseling and spiritual direction. Consequently, I learned to let go of petty annoyances quickly so only the serious offenses rented space in my mind, and usually for only one winter season.
However, shortly after our wedding, my late husband and I were pommeled with assaults that ultimately contributed to his untimely death four years later.

Alone in the dangerous forest, my wounds from those assaults festered to the point of causing emotional distress, mental fog, physical ailments and crisis of faith. During the middle of a long “dark night of the soul,” I eventually discerned God’s call to forgive. “Here I am, Lord,” was my slow but steady response as I returned to regular faith practice, while seeking spiritual direction for help with forgiveness and grief counseling to address many losses.

After a year, my return to spring became evident. I lost 80 pounds, resumed writing, volunteered, made my stage debut in a community theater production and pursued a plethora of social activities. As a result, my functional depression lifted, my anger dissipated, and my spirit brightened – all because I actively pursued the practice of forgiveness. So, here I share tips on when and how to forgive.

When to Forgive
In my personal experience and professional practice, I have observed common signs when someone needs to forgive.

Rumination
Persistent focus on past grievances with no shift in attitude

Misplaced Anger
Also termed displaced anger, where a minor incident blows up into a horrible yelling match (or worse) while the real issue remains unaddressed, often fueling further incidents

Rage
Exploding with anger at the mere mention of the offending party

Prejudice
Generalizing one bad experience with one group member to an entire group

Low Self Esteem
Often indicative of the need to forgive oneself

Spiritual Problems
Impaired relationship with God and reduced/abandoned faith practices

Physical Ailments
Headaches, GI distress, back problems, heart palpitations, hypertension

Cognitive Impairments
Poor attention, memory lapses, disorganization, poor time management

Psychological Issues
Anxiety, addiction (substances or activities like work), depression, insomnia

How to Forgive
Here are tips on pursuing the forgiveness process.

Address the offense and grieve the related losses.
Often when others hurt us, we lose something – maybe our idealistic world view, our reputation, our supportive herd, our resources or our pride. It is important to clarify and acknowledge the suffering caused by the offending parties. Although this is best accomplished through talking to a trusted person or group, it can be achieved through writing or artistic expression.

Stand up to Predators!
We should never allow ourselves to be used or abused. If trapped in such a situation, please seek professional help. We all can call upon the power animal that resides within us. Remember that forgiveness is never about tolerating evil behavior. It is about letting go of the toxic remains from sinful transgressions we have suffered.

Always acknowledge, “There but for the grace of God go I.”
Conduct a moral inventory of your misdeeds and consider the reasons you caused harm to others in your past. Often, we may not be fully aware of the impact our actions have on others. Remember, we all have a predator within us. This can help us to view others with less judgment.

Put things in perspective.
Taking the plank out of our own eyes will help us to discern the speck in the other person’s eye. Perhaps physical pain or emotional upset distracted the party in the wrong. Not many of us humans can emulate Bambi’s mother’s altruism as she urged her beloved son to seek safety shortly before she got shot.

Ask if it is truly worth the upset?
Consider if this issue will matter in a week, month, or next spring. If not, let it go. Sometimes, a little humor can shed some light on the matter.

Communicate your hurt.
People often have little awareness of the impact their words and deeds have on others. Sometimes, a simple statement or request may resolve the problem. If the hunter persists, you know you took the high path and did your part, even if the relationship is too harmful to sustain.
Recognize other’s limitations.

So often, my clients complain about narcissistic family members or friends. By definition, people with this disorder are emotionally immature and lack the capacity to empathize or understand another person’s perspective. Unlike Bambi’s mother, they can only view situations from their own self-centered world view.

Lower the bar.
Not everyone will be as perfect as you perceive yourself to be. Cut them some slack. If the offenses are minor, consider sending them a card with words of endearment.

View the situation globally.
Often, hurtful situations may yield positive results in the long run. Getting fired from that dead-end job may be God’s nudge to pursue His work. Regardless, use the season of spring to seek new opportunities to serve Our Lord.

Note that forgiveness does not require reconciliation.
Some relationships are simply toxic and best avoided. If someone leads you astray from your sacred values, cut the ties. All God’s creatures thrive with loving, respectful and healing connections.
Pray for the people who hurt you.

Yes, yes – easier said than done. A good prayer formula is “I forgive (insert name) from the bottom of my heart, and I humbly ask God to bless them” You may need to repeat this prayer seventy times seven times before you can say it with the sincerity of a deer. Explore this website and read this excellent book for more ideas on forgiveness.

Start this season of spring with a mustard seed of forgiveness in your heart. Fawn over it and watch it grow into a dearly beloved bush of faith, hope and love, the true essence of Bambi.

Copyright © Jessica Loftus, 2025

Check out this upcoming workshop.
Shed Your Bad Habits for Good
https://www.easywaystoeasestress.com
Deer image is under license from Shutterstock.com

In the nuanced journey of human life, our spiritual beliefs often serve as the bedrock of our existence, influencing our perspectives, decisions, and coping mechanisms. For many, Christian faith is a source of strength, hope, and guidance through life's tumultuous seas. Simultaneously, the field of counseling has established itself as a crucial mechanism for addressing and navigating mental health challenges. When these two powerful forces—Christian faith and counseling—intersect, they create a profound synergy that can offer holistic healing and growth. This blog post explores the burgeoning relationship between Christian faith and mental health practices and the transformative potential it holds.

A Confluence of Faith and Therapy

The integration of Christian faith with counseling practices is rooted in the understanding that human beings are not just physical entities requiring psychological insight but are also spiritual beings with deep-seated beliefs and values. This approach does not dilute the significance of therapeutic principles. Instead, it enriches the counseling process by incorporating an individual's faith into their healing journey.

Holistic Healing: Mind, Body, and Spirit

One of the primary tenets of incorporating Christian faith into counseling is the acknowledgment of the person as a holistic being. This perspective aligns with the Christian view of the human person, intricately composed of mind, body, and spirit, all of which interact and influence one another. Counseling that incorporates Christian faith seeks to address and nurture each of these components, offering a more comprehensive form of healing and growth.

The Power of Faith-Based Coping

Christian faith introduces unique coping mechanisms into the therapeutic process. Prayer, meditation on Scripture, and the cultivation of a personal relationship with God can offer profound comfort and guidance. These practices do not replace therapeutic techniques but complement them, providing individuals with additional resources for dealing with life’s challenges.

Community and Connection

Another significant aspect of combining Christian faith with counseling is the emphasis on community. The Christian doctrine places a strong emphasis on fellowship and support among believers. This principle extends naturally into the counseling process, encouraging individuals to seek and offer support within their faith communities. This not only amplifies their support network but also reinforces the interconnectedness between personal healing and communal well-being.

Ethical Considerations and Client-Centric Approach

The intersection of Christian faith and counseling requires navigating with sensitivity and respect. It demands that counselors, whether they share the client's faith or not, approach each case with an open mind and a clear understanding of ethical boundaries. The goal is to support the client’s faith journey in a way that respects their belief system without imposing the counselor's own beliefs. Ensuring that the integration of faith is client-driven—aligned with their needs, consent, and comfort level—is paramount.

The Challenges Ahead

While the integration of Christian faith and counseling opens new vistas for healing, it also presents challenges. These include navigating the diverse expressions of Christian faith, respecting differing theological viewpoints, and continually balancing professional and spiritual insights. Ongoing education, both in theology and psychology, is essential for counselors walking this path, ensuring they are equipped to provide ethical, respectful, and effective support.

Empirical Support and Future Directions

Emerging research supports the efficacy of integrating Christian faith into counseling, highlighting improvements in emotional well-being, resilience, and personal growth. As this field grows, so does the need for a broader dialogue between mental health professionals and faith leaders, fostering mutual understanding and collaboration that can enhance the support provided to individuals navigating mental health challenges.

Conclusion: A Journey of Faith and Healing

The intersection of Christian faith and counseling represents a promising frontier in the pursuit of holistic healing. It acknowledges the complex, multifaceted nature of human existence, offering an approach that nurtures the mind, body, and spirit. For individuals rooted in Christian faith, this integration offers a path that aligns with their deepest values, encouraging healing and growth that resonates with their spiritual journey.

As we continue to explore this intersection, we embrace not only the potential for profound personal transformation but also the opportunity to deepen our collective understanding of what it means to live well. In grounding counseling practices in the rich soil of Christian faith, we open the door to a form of healing that is both deeply personal and expansively communal, offering hope and renewal to those on the journey toward wholeness.

When healing from addiction or betrayal trauma feels impossible, God makes a way. This Bible study, 'A Way Where There Seems to Be No Way,' offers scriptural encouragement and practical reflection for those struggling with sexual addiction or the pain of betrayal. Designed for individuals and couples, this resource provides guided questions, biblical wisdom, and hope-filled insights to help navigate the journey of recovery with faith. Perfect for counselors, churches, and support groups looking for a Christ-centered approach to healing. New bible studies/reflections are posted weekly on Landmark Christian Counseling's website.

Acorn clinicians provide high quality, trauma informed care for adults, families, and children. What is trauma informed counseling? It means our clinicians have advanced education and supervision to address the yucky things that have happened to you and your family.

Dr Pam provides Safe and Sound protocol which enhances feelings of safety at home and in session. Christy provides EMDR treatment which helps to decrease the distress caused by the negative experiences.

Learn more about each modality by clicking on the pictures!

#traumainformedtreatment #therapy #adulttherapy #childtherapy #emdr #safeandsoundprotocol #ssp
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XFs5zQ3A_EVDFusYS3PPwd8T6vIjwiUX/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IG4Pl6872JsQmGNSvFwqG_YdM0GGuxBB/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-84KGGhXLCwazy8u1gt_nlaW8skn_CpU/view?usp=sharing

What is Christian Counseling?
Christian counseling is a powerful tool in helping you learn how to properly feed your spirit, soul, and body by providing biblical guidance, emotional support, and practical strategies to live a balanced and Christ-centered life. Here’s how it can help in each area:

1. Feeding Your Spirit: Growing in Faith

A Christian counselor can help you:
Strengthen your relationship with God by deepening your understanding of Scripture.
Develop a consistent prayer life and spiritual disciplines.
Overcome spiritual struggles, such as doubt, fear, or feeling distant from God.
Recognize and break free from spiritual strongholds that may be hindering growth.

2. Feeding Your Soul: Renewing Your Mind and Emotions
The soul includes our mind, will, and emotions, which need to be cared for in a way that aligns with God’s truth. Christian counseling can help you:
-Learn how to manage stress, anxiety, and depression through faith-based strategies.
-Replace negative thought patterns with biblical truth (Romans 12:2).
-Heal from past wounds, trauma, or unforgiveness with God’s grace.
-Strengthen emotional intelligence and decision-making in relationships, work, and personal life.
3. Feeding Your Body: Honoring the Temple of the Holy Spirit
Christian counseling acknowledges that the body is part of our spiritual walk and helps you:
-Develop healthy lifestyle habits, such as proper nutrition, rest, and exercise.
-Address physical health issues related to stress, anxiety, or emotional burdens.
-Recognize unhealthy coping mechanisms (e.g., overeating, substance abuse, neglecting self-care) and replace them with Godly alternatives.
-Learn boundaries and self-care as part of honoring God with your body and life.

Christian counseling integrates faith and professional counseling techniques to help you live in alignment with God's will. It provides a safe space to process emotions, overcome struggles, and grow spiritually, mentally, and physically.
If you’re feeling unbalanced in any of these areas, I am here to help reach out today for a free 15-minute phone consultation (772-446-1922) or check out my website at https://caterpillarcounseling.webflow.io/therapy
Be Blessed,
Dawn Taylor

Unworthiness: What It Is and What the Bible Says About It
Many people struggle with feelings of unworthiness. Whether it stems from past mistakes, negative self-perception, or life circumstances, the weight of feeling “not good enough” can be overwhelming. But what does unworthiness really mean, and more importantly, what does the Bible say about it?
Understanding Unworthiness
Unworthiness is the belief that we are inadequate, unlovable, or not deserving of good things. It often manifests in thoughts like:
• I am not good enough.
• I don’t deserve love or happiness.
• God could never accept someone like me.
These feelings can lead to shame, fear, and self-isolation. However, they are not aligned with how God sees us. The enemy thrives on lies that keep us bound in self-doubt, but God’s Word reveals the truth about our worth in His eyes.
What the Bible Says About Unworthiness
The Bible is filled with reminders that our worth does not come from our perfection but from God’s love and grace. Here are a few key scriptures that speak to this issue:
1. We Are Loved and Valued
Romans 5:8 – “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Even in our brokenness, God’s love is unwavering. His love is not conditional upon our performance or worthiness.
2. God Created Us With Purpose
Ephesians 2:10 – “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
We were intentionally created with value and purpose. Our worth is rooted in the fact that we are God’s masterpiece.
3. Our Worth Comes from God, Not Our Actions
Titus 3:5 – “He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.”
We don’t earn our worth; it is given to us through God’s mercy and grace. No matter what we have done, His grace is greater.
4. God Calls Us His Children
1 John 3:1 – “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”
God sees us as His children. We are not worthless; we are deeply loved and cherished.
Overcoming Feelings of Unworthiness
If you struggle with feelings of unworthiness, here are a few ways to shift your perspective:
• Meditate on God’s Word – Replace negative thoughts with biblical truth.
• Pray for a Renewed Mind – Ask God to help you see yourself the way He sees you.
• Surround Yourself with Encouraging Believers – Community can help remind you of your God-given worth.
• Embrace God’s Grace – Remember that you don’t have to be perfect; God’s grace is sufficient.
Final Thoughts
Feelings of unworthiness are real, but they do not define who we are. The Bible tells us that our worth is found in Christ, not in our past, our mistakes, or our self-doubt. When we accept God’s love and truth, we can walk in confidence, knowing that we are valued, chosen, and deeply loved.
No matter what you have been through or how you feel, God says you are worthy. Believe it, receive it, and walk in His grace!
If you need help in learning these things reach out today for a free 15-minute phone consultation (772-446-1922) or check out my website at https://caterpillarcounseling.webflow.io/therapy

Do you know you are a triune being?
Just as God is a triune being—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—we, too, are created in His image with three parts: spirit, soul, and body (1 Thessalonians 5:23). Each part plays a unique role in our lives and must be nourished properly.
1. Spirit – This is the eternal part of us that connects with God. When we accept Christ, our spirit is made alive, and we are in communion with Him (John 3:6).
2. Soul – This includes our mind, will, and emotions. It is where we make decisions, process thoughts, and experience emotions.
3. Body – This is our physical vessel, the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). It allows us to interact with the physical world.
Just as God’s three persons work in harmony, our spirit, soul, and body must be aligned under God's will for us to live a balanced and fulfilled life. That’s why it’s so important to feed each part with the right nourishment.
How do you ensure all three parts are healthy and in alignment with God's will?
Just as we are called to be mindful of how we nourish our spirit, soul, and body, we should aim to "feed" each of these areas in ways that align with God's Word. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Feeding My Spirit (Connection with God)
• Prayer & Worship – Spending time in conversation with God through prayer and worshiping Him strengthens our spirit. It is important to note this needs to be individual as well as in a corporate setting
• Reading Scripture – The Bible is my spiritual food (Matthew 4:4). It provides wisdom, encouragement, and truth, and the truth sets us free.
• Fellowship – Engaging with other Godly believers who are strong in the Lord helps keep our spirit strong (Hebrews 10:25).
2. Feeding My Soul (Mind, Will, and Emotions)
• Renewing My Mind – Filter what you read, watch, and listen to, making sure it aligns with God’s truth (Romans 12:2).
• Managing Emotions Through God’s Peace – Instead of letting emotions control me, we need to surrender them to God in prayer (Philippians 4:6-7).
• Lifelong Learning – Reading books, listening to sermons, and learning new things keep our minds sharp.
3. Feeding My Body (Physical Health)
• Eating Healthy Foods – Aiming to eat foods that give us energy and strength to do God's work.
• Exercise & Rest – Moving our bodies and getting enough rest ensures we have the stamina for life’s demands.
• Respecting My Body as God’s Temple – Avoiding harmful substances and habits that could damage my body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
When all three—spirit, soul, and body—are properly nourished and aligned with God's will, we experience peace, joy, and purpose.
How are you feeding each of these areas in your life? 😊
Not sure what to do? You can reach out today for a free 15-minute phone consultation (772-446-1922) or check out my website at https://caterpillarcounseling.webflow.io/therapy

Are You or Someone You Know Contentious? Here's 21 Ways To Check

1) Contentiousness defined: Words like feisty, anxious, testing, grouchy, critical, perfectionistic, blaming, shaming, hostile, opinionated, quarrelsome, argumentative, and nagging all help to describe this problem.

2) People who struggle with this issue may have a lot of anxiety as both children and adults.

3) Contentious people usually repel others, and this may come from an unconscious fear of closeness, vulnerability, and or inferiority.

4) Sometimes, contentious people major in the minors, starting fights over minor points of fact, doctrine, opinions, or other people’s behavior.

5) Blaming is a big symptom in contentious people. This is usually a result of feeling lonely and unsuccessful as well as having so much hurt, shame, anxiety, or anger at themselves on board that it spills over onto others.

6) Some women will frequently express anger through contentiousness: Some men do, too, but may either act out angrily, act out sexually, or act passive-aggressively.

7) Contentious people believe, at a deep level, that others are responsible for their lives, happiness, and or emotions.

8) Believing that they are unloved or loveable, contentious people think they must test others, especially those close to them, to ensure they won’t leave, get too close, or somehow fail to love them.

9) A contentious person is much more likely to live by anxiety, shame, fear, or hate than by faith, love, grace, and truth.

10) In reality, a contentious person’s hate, blame, criticism, and testing are really about how they see themselves, not others.

11) Acting contentious is a way of testing other people to see if the contentious person is loved.

12) Self-hate or shame is a common companion for contentious people.

13) Some contentious people experience difficult attachment at an early age and have symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and Histrionic Personality Disorder.

14) Adult Children of Addicts and Co-Addicts will frequently display contentious behavior to cope with their sense of inferiority, shame, anxiety, and feeling out of control.

15) Contentious people do not set real boundaries and limits. If they set limits, they are designed to change other people rather than designed to protect themselves.

16) One-up, One-Down relationships are a frequent position contentious people take. They try to play the blaming parent, the wiser parent, the smart teacher, or other authority figure when, in reality, they are the helpless little child inside. They will sometimes go into the one-down position and play the victim.

17) Contentious people will frequently find irresponsible people to mate or work with because, many times, unconsciously, they are afraid of losing control. Sometimes, they will find super-responsible people to make up for their irresponsibility.

18) People who live with contentious people will eventually pull away or retreat in some fashion. “It is better to live in the corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” – Proverbs 21:10. "As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife – Proverbs 26:21

19) Defending yourself against a contentious person is essentially useless. Nuclear submariners talk about “Time, Distance, and Shielding” when dealing with protection from toxic materials. Solomon talks about toxicity this way: “A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike. He who would restrain her restrains the wind and grasps oil with his right hand.” Proverbs 27:15

20) Listening to feelings and avoiding defending oneself for as long as possible is the best way to deal with contentiousness. Telling the person you will distance yourself when they are contentious and then doing it with the support of others can also help. It is important to remember that boundary setting is about you, not about changing the other person. Do not create walls. Create boundaries that keep you sane.

21) Allowing natural consequences for out-of-control anger and contentiousness can also help: “Do not rescue a man given to anger, for you only have to do it again. "Proverbs 19:19

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is one of the best ways to deal with attachment as well as ACA issues. Joining a group that deals with emotional hurts and toxicity can be very helpful.

There’s a common question among Christians facing anxiety, depression, and trauma: Is seeking counseling a lack of faith? Many believers struggle with the idea of therapy, wondering if they should rely solely on prayer and scripture for healing. Some may even feel guilt or shame for considering professional help, fearing it means they aren’t trusting God enough.

But what if counseling is a tool God provides for healing? What if seeking wise counsel
is not a sign of weakness but an act of wisdom? Throughout scripture, we see God using
people—mentors, friends, and even professionals—to help others navigate struggles. Proverbs reminds us that “with many advisers, plans succeed” (Proverbs 15:22). Even Jesus himself is called the “Wonderful Counselor” (Isaiah 9:6), showing that guidance and wisdom are part of His divine nature.

The Bible reminds us seeking wise counsel is not a sign of weak faith but a step toward wisdom and healing. God often works through people—pastors, friends, mentors, and yes, even professional counselors—to bring restoration to our hearts and minds.

If you are struggling with anxiety, depression, or trauma, know that you don’t have to walk this journey alone. Seeking help is not a lack of trust in God—it’s a way of stewarding the mind and emotions He has given you. Just as we seek medical care for physical ailments, we can seek wise, faith-filled counsel for emotional and mental health.

If this sounds like you please reach out today for a free 15-minute phone consultation (772-446-1922) or check out my website at https://caterpillarcounseling.webflow.io/therapy

In the journey of a Christian marriage or relationship, it's not uncommon to arrive at a season that feels routine or lacks excitement. As Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." This includes moments of spiritual testing and growth, even in our closest relationships. If you're finding yourself whispering, "This relationship is so boring," it's time to reflect on why and explore what you can do to cultivate a deeper, more fulfilling connection.

Identifying the Root Causes

First and foremost, it's crucial to understand what's contributing to this sense of monotony. Have daily responsibilities and distractions led you to drift apart? Has your spiritual connection or personal growth become stagnant? Often, the busyness of life can overshadow the importance of nurturing our relationships, leading to a plateau that can feel like boredom.

Moreover, in a Christian relationship, aligning with one another spiritually is paramount. Amos 3:3 asks, "Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?" This scripture highlights the importance of mutual commitment and direction in your spiritual and daily lives.

Revitalizing Your Connection

1. Prioritize Quality Time Together

Make intentional efforts to spend quality time together, beyond the routines of daily life. Schedule date nights, engage in new activities together, and create moments that allow you to see each other in a new light. Remember, it’s not the quantity but the quality of time you spend together that deepens your bond.

2. Engage in Spiritual Practices as a Couple

Reignite your spiritual connection by praying together, studying the Bible, and attending church services as a couple. Sharing your spiritual journey can bring a new depth to your relationship, aligning you both with God's purpose for your union.

3. Volunteer or Serve Together

Serving together in your church or community can be a powerful way to bond and experience the joy of giving. As you focus on helping others, you'll find your own relationship enriched and strengthened.

4. Communicate Openly About Your Needs

Boredom sometimes signals unmet needs or desires within the relationship. Open, honest communication is key. Share your feelings, listen to your partner, and work together to meet each other's needs more effectively.

5. Cultivate Personal Growth

Individual growth contributes significantly to the health of your relationship. Encourage one another’s dreams and personal development pursuits. As you both grow, you'll bring new energies and insights into your relationship.

6. Seek Guidance Through Prayer

In any endeavor, especially matters of the heart, prayer is powerful. Philippians 4:6-7 tells us not to be anxious but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Pray individually and as a couple for guidance, strength, and rejuvenation of your relationship.

7. Consider Counseling

Sometimes, seeking guidance from a Christian counselor can offer new perspectives and pathways to growth. Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional support if you're having difficulty navigating this season on your own.

Conclusion

Boredom, while uncomfortable, can serve as a wakeup call inviting us to reevaluate and rejuvenate our relationships. It’s an opportunity for growth, deeper understanding, and renewed passion. By acknowledging the season you are in, actively choosing to grow together, and leaning into your faith, you can transform what feels like stagnation into a springboard for a stronger, more vibrant connection.

God designed marriage and partnerships not just for companionship but for mutual edification and joy. Even Solomon, in his wisdom, recognized the beauty of companionship in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, saying, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." So, when you find yourself stuck in a rut, remember, through concerted effort, faith, and God’s guidance, you can breathe new life into your relationship and emerge stronger and more connected than before.

It's a quiet struggle, often hidden behind half-smiles and hollow greetings — depression. The whispers of this unseen burden travel far beyond the confines of our minds, infiltrating every part of our being, including our physical health. As Christians, we stand on the promises of God to guide us through the shadowy valleys, yet we sometimes wonder, can depression indeed make us sick? This is a question that beckons for understanding, compassion, and the wisdom of the Lord.

The Weight of Depression

The Psalmist writes in Psalms 42:11, "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?" These words echo across time, resonating with many who suffer in silence. Modern research confirms that the impact of depression can transcend mental anguish to manifest in physical ailments. The mind and body are intricately woven together by God's design, and when the spirit is heavy with sorrow, the body may also bear the burden.

The Physical Symptomatology of Depression

Proverbs 17:22 tells us, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Indeed, a spirit oppressed by depression can lead to a host of physical symptoms that compound our daily challenges. Digestive issues, headaches, chronic pain, and even heart disease have been linked to long-term depression. The stress hormones released during depressive episodes can suppress the immune system, making the body more susceptible to infections and illnesses.

Embracing God’s Promise of Healing

In the midst of this, it is vital to remember the promises God makes to us. Jeremiah 17:14 pleads, "Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise." As Christians, we acknowledge that we are not immune to suffering, but we are reassured that the Lord stands with us in our darkest moments. In seeking treatment for depression, we are not exhibiting a lack of faith; rather, we are taking concrete steps towards the healing that God desires for us.

Seeking Help as a Step of Faith

James 5:14-15 encourages us, "Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up." We can take these verses both literally and figuratively. It is both a call to seek God's direct intervention and an encouragement to reach out for help within the body of Christ, which can include the assistance of medical professionals. Utilizing therapy, medication, or counseling alongside prayer and spiritual support can be a holistic approach to tackling the symptoms of depression.

Lifestyle Changes Inspired by Scripture

Adopting a healthier lifestyle can be one approach to mitigating the physical effects of depression. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, we are reminded that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Ensuring adequate rest, nutrition, and exercise not only honors this temple but can also improve mood and reduce stress. Balancing our lifestyle with time for meditation on God's word, fellowship with believers, and personal rest can lead to a stronger, healthier state of being.

Community and Connection

Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." By sharing our struggles with trusted members of our congregation or support groups, we can alleviate the weight of depression. The understanding, companionship, and shared prayers can be a balm for both the soul and the body.

An Ever-Present Hope

As we navigate the ebbs and flows of mental health, let us not lose sight of our ever-present hope in Christ. Romans 15:13 blesses us with this assurance, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Our faith informs us that with God, there is always a path through the wilderness of depression, a path that leads to restoration and health.

Enduring Through Faith

To our brothers and sisters in Christ who wonder if depression can make you sick, the answer is yes — but this is not the end of your story. With faith as our cornerstone and our belief in a God who restores, we find the strength to seek healing in all its forms. Remember, you are never walking alone; through the darkest valley, His rod and His staff, they comfort us. Together, let us strive forward in faith, affirming that our God is greater than any affliction, and in Him, we find the ultimate comfort and cure. Amen.

Unlock your inner strength! Join our Resilience and Empowerment Counseling Group Therapy. It's a safe space where you're listened to, understood, and empowered to overcome. Let's grow together.

Starts Tuesday, February 25,6-7:30 pm EST

10-week program

6-8 participants

Weekly meetings, 90 minutes per session

Virtual Meetings

Call 443-860-6870 or email elishaslee@counselingmail.com for more information

To help you decide here are a few questions: Feeling off? Lacking motivation? Not being heard? Unsure of your feelings? If you answered yes to any of these questions therapy may be for you.

Seeking help can give you the tools and support to navigate life's challenges. It offers a safe space to explore your feelings, work through personal issues, and develop strategies to improve your overall well-being.

Therapy can help with stress, anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and other concerns. It is also useful for major life changes of self-understanding. Therapy provides a safe confidential space to explore your thoughts and feelings.

If you would like more information please book a free 15-minute consultation with me, a therapist who specializes in transformation and healing. (772-446-1922)

Natural disasters, such as earthquakes, hurricanes, wildfires, and floods, are life-altering events that can leave deep emotional and psychological scars on individuals and communities. While the physical devastation may be immediately visible, disaster mental health impacts can be just as profound, though often more difficult to recognize. Understanding disaster trauma recovery is the first step toward healing.

This blog covers:
What is Trauma After a Natural Disaster?
Common reactions to disaster-related trauma
The Long-Term Impact of Trauma
The Path to Healing: A Holistic Approach
Hope and Healing After a Natural Disaster


Also in Spanish
https://www.florecerfamilycounseling.com/post/trauma-por-un-desastre-natural-una-gu%C3%ADa-completa-para-la-sanidad-y-la-recuperaci%C3%B3n?lang=es

MaryAnn Brooks (formerly Kildebeck) walks you through an adoption study at Acorn. Here is your step by step guide on what to expect in this intensive process. Begin your study today to be ready for National Adoption Day in November!
PROCESS:

Information Gathering: This can be a lengthy part of the process! It relies on your responses, the responses of your ‘collaterals’ and how busy we are. Your job? Be clear if you are not understanding something and share any roadblocks you discover. We can help you!
Questionnaire: Part of the information gathering process includes a comprehensive, detailed questionnaire. We include your voice in the report, so watch your spelling!
Prospective Adoptive Parent References
Friends and Family
Child/ren’s Physicians
Adoptive Adult’s Physicians
Educators/Schools
Therapists for the child or adult in this adoptive process in the last 4 years.
Criminal History Records must be completed at Identogo or a similar company.
Personal Visit with Prospective Adoptive Parent
Additional Communications from you, other professionals, etc.
Consolidation and Report Writing

RETAINER FEE:

We operate on a retainer basis for adoption studies.

Court Ordered Step Parent Adoption Study $1100 [extra fees for more children].
Nonrelative Guardian Adoption $2200 involving the adoption of one child [extra fees for more children].

Complete your patient portal on Acorn Counseling Education Services, and pay on that site. Online interviews might be conducted via Zoom.
ADDITIONAL CHARGES TO THE ADOPTION EVALUATION RETAINER:

Travel outside Collin, Dallas or Denton County incurs travel expense.
Testifying at court requires a separate retainer.

LEARN MORE

Fill out this form to contact MaryAnn directly. Or you can email or call her at 940-222-8703 ext 706.

This riveting recollection of her life in a small town, and growing up in a poverty-stricken, dysfunctional family, is the story of Dr. Rosella Collins-Puoch. She experienced childhood abuse – emotional, psychological, physical, and sexual – that could have resulted in a lifetime of unresolved, destructive mental illness and drug addiction. Courageous determination propelled her escape from an abusive, dead-end existence. By God's grace, she could find her voice and live.

Her story is of an emotionally and psychologically abusive father who visited the family intermittently and made promises that he never kept. Although spiritual and industrious, her mother lacked the necessary parenting knowledge and skills to protect her due to her own unresolved, traumatic history. At age six, she began experiencing various forms of abuse. At age 15, she was allowed to marry a man, more than twice her age, who subjected her to a proverbial torture chamber.

The choice to forgive helped heal the wounds she sustained. Triumphantly, her life blueprint changed from victim to survivor. Her journey demonstrates that it does not matter how her life started; it matters how she chose to finish it!

My memoir is available on:

Amazon; Barnesandnobles.com; and other book outlets

It is the inevitable by-product of living in a technologically-dependent, socially-connected, and minute-managed world that peace and calm get left in the wake. Texts, emails and cell-phone calls fly in faster and more frequently than a speeding bullet. It seems there is hardly a moment in the day when we’re not busy managing the demands of work, family and our increasingly larger social world that no longer can be shut out of our lives even for a few minutes. We can no longer close the door behind us and expect that the world will be left outside. Though staying connected is important, it is no more valuable than time alone to calm our thoughts and our bodies, to restore energy and peace, and to reduce the ravages of stress. And, you have a right to a few minutes to yourself! You can decide to make time alone an equal priority. Try this 15-minute a day refresher:
First: Establish a quiet place in your home. Use a candle, a cross, icon or other meaningful symbol for focus. Pick a book of short devotional thoughts or spiritual / Scriptural readings. Decide if you want to sit or kneel and prepare your place accordingly with a pillow, mat or stool. When it is time, go to your quiet place and wait silently for a moment; breathe…relax…gently focus or close your eyes. After awhile read your devotion then be quiet again and let the thoughts settle in….pray….don’t leave quickly, but quietly move back into your day.
1. 5 minutes in the morning: How you begin your day is most important! Almost every important religious tradition speaks to the necessity of starting the day correctly. After one of the busiest days recorded in Jesus’ ministry, the next morning the disciples found him out alone, having risen early to pray. Get up just 5 minutes earlier and spend it in quietude and you will come to see what a difference it will make!
2. 5 minutes at lunch: If at home, go to your quiet place again or find some place at work where you can retreat for just 5 minutes. Go there around noon and shut out all thoughts of work. Sit quietly, eyes closed, and body relaxed. Breathe gently and just think about your breath. Recall, if you wish, the truths of your early morning devotion. Keep your thoughts away from work, problems, or “to-do”s. For a few minutes, just be at peace. End with a simple prayer of thanksgiving and then resume your day’s activities.
3. 5 minutes to end the day: As the day ends, return for just a few moments to your quiet place. After your few moments of relaxing, focusing and breathing you may want to give thanks as you recall the day just past. Briefly examine your conscience and pray, clearing it of all that disturbs you.
Try using this 15-minute a day refresher for a month and see if your sense of peace and calm have increased and stress decreased. You’re worth it!

Author: Patti Hatton, MA, LPC

Through a fellowship with The Hope & Healing Center and Institute, located on the campus of St. Martin’s Episcopal Church, Houston, Patti Hatton, MA, LPC developed a growth and enrichment program for marriages which counsels couples on the basis of the greatest commandment: love God first, with all your heart, soul and mind, then love yourself, and love others as you have learned to love yourself. Highway to the Heart provides encouragement about living life with purpose and ongoing dialog about relationships.

About the Author:

Dr. Corley is a Licensed Professional Counselor Supervisor (LPC-S) in Missouri and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (LCPC) in Kansas. He specializes in marriage counseling and trauma recovery. This is an excerpt from his series called Framework for Family.

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When you read the Old Testament, what do you see?


If you see a series of hodgepodge stories thrown together that are hard to make sense of, you are not alone. For a majority of my Christian life I struggled with the Old Testament. I had trouble wrapping my brain around what God wanted me to see, and how the stories of the patriarchs applied to me at all. But the truth is, their stories are full of profound moments. Moments that God uses to accomplish His plan of redemption for you, me, and the entire world. These moments are full of sadness and heart ache, joy and peace, and success and failure. Each moment designed by God to make the reader, or listener, contemplate and think about what God is doing and how He is doing it.


One of my favorite aspects of the Old Testament is the stories where God uses family to display his vision for the future of humanity. He does this consistently throughout the tumultuous and topsy turvy lives of every family. Like an artist painting a picture. Or a director filming a movie. Each family’s journey tells a story, frame by frame, scene by scene. And each story shows God’s vision in its own unique way. This vision, which is the redemption and reconciliation of the world, is proven at each and every pivotal moment. One of the most infamous moments is found in Genesis 22. And it is a strange tale. A tale of sacrifice, loyalty, and faith. In it, God tells Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac. To literally kill him on an alter. Isaac is the heir apparent and recipient of God's own promise to redeem the world. So not only is it seemingly wrong in that God is requesting murder. Something he's previously condemned. It also looks like He's going back on his promise to bless the world through Isaac. And so it's natural to think, "What in the heck is going on, and can God really be trusted to do what He says He's going to do?"


To the untrained eye, the above question is answered with a resounding, "No." But wait, it gets stranger. Abraham gathers Isaac, two servants, and his gear, and sets out to accomplish the task. No questions asked! So much for the importance of family, and so much for a loving God who cares for all His children! But before we condemn Abraham for being a fool and God for being a liar, a little back story is needed. Because Abraham is no stranger to God asking him to do strange things. In fact, up to this point in Abraham's journey, we have seen Abraham become prosperous by being obedient to God's strange requests. And we have seen him get into trouble by not following God's plan. Simply put, when Abraham does things God's way, he prospers his life and the lives of those around him. And when Abraham does things his way, he falters.


In Genesis 12, Abraham's journey starts out successful because he listened to God's request and left his family of origin. In contrast, the journey hits rocky ground when Abraham fails to ask God what he should do during a famine. Fear of starvation, a legitimate concern by most peoples standards, caused Abraham to make a decision without God. And so he takes matters into his own hands and moves the family to Egypt. This mis-step leads to deceit, danger, and disaster for Abraham's family, particularly his wife Sarah. And more importantly it puts God's promise of salvation for humanity at un-necessary risk. Because God had already promised to bless the nations through Abraham and Sarah's descendants in verses 2 and 3. But more on this moment later. Because you don't want to miss the principle that Abraham's story is teaching you right now. The Principle of Sacrifice. According to Thomas Constable,


“God called on Abraham to make five great sacrifices: his native country, his extended family, his nephew Lot, his son Ishmael, and his son Isaac. Each sacrifice involved something naturally dear to Abraham, but each resulted in greater blessings from God.”

The Principle of Sacrifice is important to understand, even if you've been walking with the Lord for a while and you know the principle well. Or maybe you know it, and haven't quite had it described to you in this way. For me personally, it is one of the scariest principles you must acknowledge and apply. It is important you know it well so that you can know what the will of God is in your life. Because your sacrifices are going to be inextricably linked to God's plan for you. Ultimately, God will require you to give up things you hold dear in order to bless your life and/or the lives of those around you. Paul says it best in Romans 12:1-2,


Therefore I exhort you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a sacrifice—alive, holy, and pleasing to God—which is your reasonable service. Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God—what is good and well-pleasing and perfect.

If your first thought is, "Um, no thank you." Don't fret, that makes you human. Furthermore, don't worry, God is not careless with his requests or His tests. He knows how painful they can be. And so He presents them at the right time and in the right way. Which means you can trust the details of your personal sacrifices to Him. For instance, the sacrifice of Isaac was Abraham's final test in his series of five great sacrifices. Abraham trusted God with Isaac's life because he had stepped out in faith in previous sacrifices. All of which included family relationships that were dear to him. After all Abraham had been through, he knew God possessed the supernatural power to bring Isaac back from the dead. Isaac himself had been conceived miraculously and Abraham knew the power to give life resided with God. Hebrews 11:19 gives us the insight we need.


By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac. He had received the promises, yet he was ready to offer up his only son. God had told him, “Through Isaac descendants will carry on your name,” and he reasoned that God could even raise him from the dead, and in a sense he received him back from there.

Here's the short and skinny. In your relationships, trust is earned, not given. And earning trust takes time. It takes periodic acts of faith where risk of safety and security are on the line. Which takes faith in the person, persons, or Person you are in relationship with. And every relationship in your life contains levels of trust. Do you trust your spouse? Do you trust your children? Do you trust your boss or those who you do ministry with? Why or why not? If the answer is "no", it may be because you have stepped out in good faith and been burned. If the answer is "yes", then the relationship has been rewarded by stepping out in good faith and having that person come through for you. This is The Principle of Faith Equals Trust.


The Principle of Sacrifice -- God will require you to give up things you hold dear in order to bless your life and the lives of those around you.
The Principle of Faith Equals Trust: All relationships require acts of faith, big and small, which multiply trust and increase connection in that relationship.

In these chapters you're focusing on your relationship to God. Do you trust God? If not, why? What happened? Did you get burned? Before moving forward in your relationship with God you will need to answer these questions. Because if you do not trust Him, your relationship can only go so deep. And if your relationship with God does not get consistently deeper. You will become stagnant in your faith. Imagine if Abraham did not have a relationship with God, then he would not have trusted God to do what He did in any of his moments. I believe there must have been hundreds if not thousands of times that God and Abraham spoke with one another. Each time an opportunity for God to build trust with Abraham.


Go back to Genesis and read each moment where Abraham is required to make a sacrifice. Do these seem like random one-off conversations between two strangers to you? No, they do not. In fact, Abraham recognizes God and God speaks to Abraham as if they know one another intimately. God and Abraham are connected on a deep relational level. And if Abraham did not trust God, then stepping out in faith becomes unreasonable. But if you live by the framework, and you develop a trusting relationship with God built on faith. What is reasonable to you will change. Because you have seen God accomplish great and wonderful things when you step out in faith. And your faith will increase, multiplying moment after moment. Increasing each time you place your trust in God and step out in faith in your relationship with Him.


Now, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. God is not calling you to literally sacrifice your teenager on the alter. No matter how much you may wish for it! So listen carefully. This is one of the most important takeaways for your understanding the principles above. God will challenge your trust in him by asking you to step out in faith during your moments. And the more you trust Him, the more He will ask from you. Faith and trust will compound on one another via your relationship with God to bless your life and the lives of those around you. Your spouse, your children, your coworkers, and your ministry. And it all starts by building trust in your relationship with God through faith. That is how God works. And this makes it even more important that we keep an adequate check and balance on the things we think God is asking us to sacrifice. So if God has brought you to a moment and you are confused about what to do next. Check three things.


Check the Bible. Is what God is asking you to do consistent with the commands you see in Scripture?

Check with God. Pray about what God would have you to do and ask for him to bring clarity to your situation.
Check with your spouse and at least one pastor, counselor, or mentor. You don't do faith alone. You have a spouse and a church community for a reason. Use them to help guide your decisions. You'll be glad you did.

Making big decisions should always be brought before our important relationships for a thorough analysis. This is because we cannot always trust our own hearts and minds to lead us down the right path. Emotions are great teachers, but poor leaders. The prophet Jeremiah says it this way, "The heart is deceptive above all things, who can understand it?" And so we must live with the fact that our thoughts and emotions cannot always be trusted. Because we don't want to take our family to Egypt when the Lord wants us to stay put.


This all looks contradictory. Because I am asking you to trust God in order to increase your faith. And these things are, in essence, wrapped up in your thoughts and emotions. Which introduces our next section perfectly. Because your psychology, the way you think and feel, matters to God. Your thoughts and your emotions play a pivotal role in your relationship with Him. Therefore, before you sacrifice your "Isaac" on the alter, read the next two chapters on thoughts and emotions, and their role in your relationship with God.