Stepping Stones in Therapy
Many of us are in a state of exploration & assessment of our lives in this season. Recent Holidays and family gatherings may have highlighted some areas of need in your life. Or maybe you promised yourself that after the seasonal rush or new year you would seek support.
While you are recognizing your need for support & lasting change, you may also experience some apprehension about what therapy actually looks like. You drag your feet because it feels like there is so much depending on you finding the right therapist, who -insert stipulations & requirements here-. The story is as old as modern therapy, you finally pick one and you meet with them for several sessions only to realize they are not what you need or want. The thought of “starting over” in therapy, finding someone available and building a safe space with someone new is so overwhelming. Another year goes by and you are feeling hopeless about ever finding the right fit.
Does this story sound familiar? Maybe its similar to your own or are just so scared at the possibility of it. This really is the end of the therapy journey for many people who end up suffering alone, in silence.
This does not have to be your story any longer. Part of what we will be discussing today is the power of perception and the cognitive reframe. How you look at the world, and relate your own experiences to reality, can greatly impact how you feel & move through life. Connecting to helplessness and hopelessness may initially feel comforting or safe while ultimately pausing your ability to find healing. I encourage you to unpause, to take the thoughts in your mind captive and challenge the limiting belief that therapy just is not for you.
Something I often say in therapy space is that the therapeutic experience in question may just be a stepping stone in your journey to healing. This is a place to learn and grow from the real lived experience you are having. This does not mean you stay in a therapeutic relationship that is not helpful or that you ignore discomfort. It is an opportunity for you to embrace your own needs & wants, and continue exploring available avenues for therapeutic support. Instead of conclusions such as “no therapist understands me” or “I am too messed up” we offer ourselves a compassionate shift to something positive. If that feels unsafe for you, meet yourself with a neutral statement such as “That particular therapist or therapy modality was not for me”. Altering the thoughts will support a change in perspective, allowing you to see that there are other options.
Compatibility with our therapist, the modality they are using, scheduling, & the means of the session (phone, video, in-person, etc) are all important. If something is off, it is OK to say so. You get to determine what you are comfortable with and what you are willing to accept. Pivoting can sometimes be the only way to access growth. Giving up on therapy does not have to be the answer. I would be happy to explore with you what your needs & wants are in regard to therapy, and help you develop a plan of actions to get there. We can set some goals, explore referrals and resources and make sure you get the therapeutic experience that will help you access the healing you so desperately need and want.
I talk a lot about quick relief through intensive sessions, where we jump right in and address your most deeply held lived experiences, thoughts and feelings. While that can be the right approach for some, it is not necessarily right for everyone.
Sometimes, we need the ability to slow down and take one step at a time. Allow yourself to view your therapeutic experience as a stepping stone to get where you want. Not the end of the line, but a new opportunity to use your voice and capacity to meet your own needs.
If you need help in exploring options and available resources please reach out by phone 424-703-3555 or email at raishelle@holisticchristaintherapy.com Whether you are brand new to therapy or a seasoned therapy client, I would be happy to walk this part of your journey with you.
