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Tuesday, April 16, 2024

Should I report physical abuse?

Tuesday, April 16, 2024 @ 3:43 PM

Victims of physical violence are often hesitant to report a family member or loved one for hitting, punching, slapping or any type of physical abuse. Compassionate people often become the victims of domestic violence because they have an excess of compassion towards their abusers. Below I address some of the common reasons domestic violence victims give for not reporting abuse.

“I don’t want them to have a criminal record.”

All behaviour has consequences. When victims of abuse refuse to report they are agreeing to take on the emotional burden and consequences of continued abuse. This shelters the abuser from consequences. Sheltering someone from the consequences of their behaviour reduces the chances of genuine change. Many people don’t begin to change until the consequences of poor behavior start to negatively impact them. When consequences are present this reveals if there is a true willingness to change and address the issues, or they will go somewhere that will tolerate their abuse.

Additionally, for a first-time offense the courts are typically more focused on a pathway to rehabilitation than they are on punishment. Pressing charges can allow the courts to provide accountability to a mental health treatment program. This kind of accountability doesn’t exist in mental health services that are strictly voluntary.

“I don’t want to go no contact.”

Many victims experience love towards their abuser. Every relationship has good and bad parts. Clinging to the positives can make it hard for people to see the benefit of temporarily ending contact. While someone is enduring various forms of abuse it alters how the brain thinks.

When the brain is in survival mode it has a hard time considering alternative ways to approach the situation. It’s just seeking to get through it. When you go no contact, this allows your brain to relax and opens the possibility for deeper problem solving.

Once the issue is in front of the courts you can request being able to discuss specific issues or to talk in specific contexts. Some people ask to have an exception to attend couples therapy to improve communication. Other exceptions include communication limited to specific issues like child visitation or having a third party mediate communication. Waiting for the courts to put these things in place also allows for a cooling off period.

“I don’t want to deal with their reaction.”

One benefit of a no-contact order is that if the person does react or attempt to contact you then you can notify police of the contact. In many places a no-contact order is automatic when an incident of domestic or physical violence is reported.

“I can’t afford a lawyer to help with a divorce.”

You can contact local resources, like domestic violence organizations, to learn about your rights and resources available to support you. If you don’t qualify for legal assistance, then you can seek support from other people in your community about how to move forward. Instead of getting overwhelmed by a long process focus on what the most immediate next step is and complete that step.

“I don’t want to leave the children alone with the abuser.”

This is a hard issue to navigate. Living with an abuser can be emotionally damaging to children. Child protection will often investigate when children have witnessed abuse without directly being abused themselves. It is best to seek legal guidance about pursuing supervised visitation, parenting classes, or other restrictions on an abuser.

Other points to consider:

For some people knowing you will report them can curb their behaviour.

Some fight for access and some don’t.

How does agreeing to live with the abuse impact the children?


“The Bible says I should forgive.”

The Bible encourages forgiveness. This does not mean that you should tolerate inappropriate behaviour out of a duty to forgive. The Bible also speaks about the need to tell the truth and confront wrongdoing.


Changing how you respond to abuse can be difficult. It can leave people with a feeling of uncertainty. While uncertainty can be difficult, if you have been strong enough to tolerate abuse you should be strong enough to handle a period of transition.

Need support navigating the emotions of reporting?
Liz Millican has training in domestic violence. You can learn more about her therapy services at

Thursday, April 4, 2024

Kelly Mynatt, MA, BCBA, Mom Life Coach

Thursday, April 4, 2024 @ 11:18 AM

Coaching for Moms Explained: How a Mom Life Coach Can Transform Your Life

Feeling overwhelmed in mom life??! I’ve been where you are - overwhelmed, overstimulated, and feeling isolated (…who am I kidding…I still have many, MANY days of this).

I’m a mom of four wonderful, energetic, and sometimes messy kids. I know what it’s like to feel like you’re navigating through the messiness of motherhood without a roadmap. But guess what? I found my roadmap, and I want to share it with you.

Throughout my journey as a mom, I have faced postpartum issues with all of my babies. These challenges, combined with my existing anxiety, brought out a new level of anxiety that I never knew existed.

I even experienced moments of motherhood rage, which left me feeling isolated and filled with shame. Why doesn’t anyone talk about the normalcy of these feelings??

I constantly questioned my abilities as a mom, doubting whether I was ever going to be what my children needed.

Every night, I would go to bed hating the person I had become and wondering if there was any hope for change. It was at this breaking point that I realized enough was enough.

I embarked on my own life coaching journey, and that's when I met an amazing woman who guided me through the process of rediscovering myself as a mom and as a woman.

Through this journey, I learned to rewire my thoughts and shift my perspective of not only myself but also my confidence as a mom. Over the course of several weeks, I started to find joy in motherhood again. I worked on overcoming my inner critic, tuning out the noise of the world, and trusting myself.

Now, after years of personal growth and transformation, I have made it my mission to turn my pain into purpose. I want to help you find JOY in your motherhood journey, just as I have found it in mine. Together, we can navigate the challenges, overcome self-sabotage, and embrace the joy of being a mom.

What is a Mom Life Coach?

A Mom Life Coach is a professional who specializes in assisting moms navigate the unique challenges and joys of motherhood. They are often experienced mothers themselves, and they use their personal experiences and professional training to provide guidance, support, and practical strategies to other moms.

Here are some key areas a Mom Life Coach can help with:

Time Management:
Motherhood comes with a myriad of responsibilities that can make it feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day. A Mom Life Coach can help you develop effective time management strategies, enabling you to balance your responsibilities and find time for self-care.

Stress Management:
Being a mom can be stressful. A Mom Life Coach can provide you with tools and techniques to manage stress, helping you to maintain a positive mindset even in challenging situations.

Goal Setting:
Whether you have personal goals, professional goals, or parenting goals, a Mom Life Coach can guide you in setting realistic and achievable goals, and support you in your journey towards achieving them.

Self-Care + Soul-Care:
Moms often put the needs of their family before their own. A Mom Life Coach can help you understand the importance of self-care + soul-care (check-out the blog on this) and guide you in finding ways to take care of your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

Confidence Building:
Motherhood can sometimes shake our confidence. A Mom Life Coach can help you build your confidence and empower you to trust your instincts and abilities as a mom.

Community Building:
Feeling isolated is common among moms. A Mom Life Coach can help you build connections with other moms, creating a supportive community where you can share experiences, advice, and encouragement.

Remember, every mom’s journey is unique, and a Mom Life Coach is there to provide personalized guidance and support tailored to your specific needs and circumstances. They’re your cheerleader, your guide, and your confidante in this beautiful, chaotic journey of motherhood.

How a Mom Life Coach Can Help You

A Mom Life Coach can provide you with the tools and strategies you need to manage your time effectively, set realistic goals, and maintain a positive mindset. They can help you find balance in your life, so you can enjoy motherhood while also taking care of yourself.

The transformative impact a Mom Life Coach can have:

Personalized Strategies: A Mom Life Coach doesn’t offer one-size-fits-all advice. Instead, they work closely with you to understand your unique challenges and aspirations. They then tailor strategies and action plans that align with your lifestyle and goals.

Empowerment: A Mom Life Coach empowers you to take charge of your life. They help you realize that you have the strength and capability to overcome obstacles and make positive changes in your life.

Perspective Shift: Sometimes, we get so caught up in our struggles that we fail to see the bigger picture. A Mom Life Coach helps you shift your perspective, enabling you to view challenges as opportunities for growth.

Accountability: It’s easy to set goals but following through can be challenging. A Mom Life Coach serves as an accountability partner, providing the motivation you need to stay committed to your goals.

Emotional Support: Motherhood can be an emotional rollercoaster. A Mom Life Coach provides a safe space for you to express your feelings without judgment. They offer emotional support and help you manage your emotions effectively.

Improved Relationships: A Mom Life Coach can help you improve your relationships with your spouse, children, and even yourself. They provide guidance on effective communication, conflict resolution, and fostering deeper connections.

Work-Life Balance: Striking a balance between work and personal life is a common struggle for many moms. A Mom Life Coach can help you establish boundaries and create a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Remember, a Mom Life Coach is more than just a coach; they’re a partner in your journey towards a happier, healthier, and more balanced life. They’re there to celebrate your victories, big or small, and to provide support during challenging times. They believe in you, even when you find it hard to believe in yourself. And that can make all the difference.

Conclusion to Coaching for Moms

Being a mom is one of the most rewarding jobs in the world, but it can also be one of the most challenging. Remember, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and it’s okay to ask for help.

Here are the key takeaways I want you to remember:

You’re not alone: Every mom faces challenges and struggles. It’s part of the journey of motherhood. Don’t be afraid to reach out and connect with others.

Self-care is essential: Taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

You have the power to change: With the right tools and support, you can overcome obstacles, achieve your goals, and transform your life.

A Mom Life Coach can be your guide: A Mom Life Coach can provide personalized strategies, emotional support, and accountability to help you navigate the journey of motherhood.

Humor is your friend: Motherhood can be messy and chaotic, but it can also be filled with moments of joy and laughter. Embrace the chaos and don’t forget to laugh.

Remember, you are doing an amazing job. You are strong, you are capable, and you are enough. If you’re ready to take the next step in your journey, I’m here to walk alongside you. Let’s navigate the messiness of motherhood together. Contact me today to schedule your first session.

I hope this blog post has been helpful and inspiring. Remember, as a mom, you’re already doing an incredible job. But if you need a little extra support, don’t hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help

With love and imperfection,

Ready to thrive and navigate the chaos and overstimulation as a mom? Let’s connect! As a mom life coach, I offer personalized guidance, practical strategies, and unwavering support. Reach out for a free consultation today!