Christian Counselor Directory Blog

How is your Communication Quotient? How good is your communication with your staff, coworkers parents, kids and spouse? Answering these following questions may help you determine how you’re doing in leadership and life.

1. Do you own your statements? In other words are you talking about how you feel or perceive the situation rather than stating everything as a fact?

2. Are you making other people responsible for how you think and how you feel? This is frequently called blaming and shaming.

3. Do you believe that other people are responsible FOR you, your feelings or your life?

4. Do you believe that you are responsible FOR other people, their feelings, or their life?

5. Do you know in which ways you are responsible TO other people?

6. Are you good at listening and really good at hearing what other people feel and perceive?

7. Are you getting accountability and feedback about how you come across to other people?

8. How are you at slowing down anger in yourself and others?

9. How might your attachment and entitlement issues be affecting your relationships and communication with others?

10. Are you communicating from one up or one down position to other people thus being intimidated by them or intimidating them?


If you’re having trouble answering these questions, it may mean your CQ is not the best it could be. Reach out and ask for help and feedback from friends, a counselor or a coach. Remember Scriptures admonition: My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry- James 1:19

You’ve been told to just pray about it.
To cast your cares on the Lord.
To have more faith.

But if you're honest… you've already done that. You’ve prayed. You’ve journaled. You’ve tried to silence the spiral in your mind with Scripture and worship—but the anxiety still lingers.

And now, you’re wondering…
“Is something wrong with me?”
“Why does my mind still feel like a battlefield?”
“Why do I still feel stuck?”

Let me lovingly tell you: **there is nothing wrong with your faith—**but you may need a new framework.

As a Faith-Based Therapist and someone who’s battled anxiety firsthand, I created the Faith & Freedom Workbook because I saw too many women carrying shame about their struggles, thinking they were “bad Christians” for feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

But the truth is—God designed your mind to heal.
And when we combine biblical truth with neuroscience and therapeutic tools, we begin to see breakthrough that prayer alone (while powerful!) was never meant to carry alone.

What Is the Faith & Freedom Workbook?
The Faith & Freedom Workbook is a guided 30+ page digital resource to help Christian women break free from anxiety, overthinking, and emotional overwhelm.

Inside, you’ll find:

Scripture-based reflections to renew your mind

Simple brain science to understand your anxiety

CBT exercises to shift toxic thought patterns

Journal prompts to hear God’s voice more clearly

A blueprint for building a “daily peace plan” that works

This isn’t just another workbook. It’s a soul-centered experience that meets you where you are—and walks you back to peace, step by step.

What Makes This Different?
When you download the Faith & Freedom Workbook, you're not left to figure it out on your own. You’ll also receive:

7 Days of Email Coaching – Daily encouragement and bite-sized guidance straight to your inbox, helping you process and apply each section of the workbook.

3 Masterclasses (FREE!) – You’ll get immediate access to my exclusive video trainings that break down each phase of the workbook:

Dismantling the Enemy’s Blueprint

Rewiring Your Mind With Truth

Building a Daily Peace Plan That Actually Works

This layered support is designed to help you not just read—but renew. Not just learn—but live free.

Why This Matters
We’re in a spiritual war—but it’s not just on the outside.
It’s in our minds.
The enemy has been working overtime to keep Christian women mentally exhausted, emotionally dysregulated, and spiritually disoriented.

But we’re not called to stay stuck.

We’re called to walk in freedom.
To take every thought captive.
To be transformed by the renewing of our mind.
To live with peace that surpasses understanding.

And sometimes? We need tools and structure to do that.

The Faith & Freedom Workbook was birthed out of obedience to that exact calling—because the world doesn't need more perfectly curated Christian women trying to hold it all together.

The world needs healed, whole, and Holy Spirit-led women who know how to fight back—with wisdom, with strategy, and with truth.

Ready to Rewire Your Mind and Walk in Peace?
If you’re tired of overthinking everything…

If you’re weary from fighting silent battles in your mind…

If you love God but feel like you’ve lost your clarity, confidence, or peace...

The Faith & Freedom Workbook is for you.

This is your invitation to pause, reset, and begin again—with a guide that speaks both to your heart and your nervous system.

You’re not broken. You’re just ready to be rebuilt—with truth.

Let’s begin the healing.

👉 Download the Faith & Freedom Workbook
❤️ Because healing is holy work—and your mind was made for freedom.

Are you feeling lost, confused, or questioning your reality after a relationship with someone who dismissed your feelings or manipulated your sense of self? If you’re in Toronto and suspect you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, you’ve come to the right place. As a specialist in narcissistic abuse recovery in Toronto, I understand the deep emotional toll this type of manipulation takes and how it can leave you doubting your thoughts, feelings, and identity. My goal is to guide you toward clarity, healing, and reclaiming your true self with compassionate, expert support tailored to your unique experience.

What Is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse occurs when someone with narcissistic traits—often a partner, family member, or friend—uses emotional manipulation to control, invalidate, or dominate you. Unlike healthy relationships built on mutual respect, interactions with a narcissistic person can erode your confidence and autonomy over time. If you’re searching for “narcissistic abuse recovery near me” in Toronto, you might recognize some of these patterns in your own life.

Narcissistic abuse feels like a relentless attack on your reality. According to the Cleveland Clinic, narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centred behaviour, lack of empathy, and a need for control. When you’re in a relationship with someone like this, you may experience:

Dismissal of Your Feelings: You share your emotions, but they’re brushed off as “too sensitive” or “overreacting.” Your voice feels silenced.
Gaslighting: They deny your experiences, saying things like, “That never happened,” or “You’re imagining things,” making you question your reality. The National Domestic Violence Hotline describes gaslighting as a tactic to distort your sense of truth.
Invalidation and Criticism: Your thoughts and perspectives are constantly challenged or belittled, leaving you doubting yourself.
Emotional Control: They manipulate arguments to make you feel wrong, twisting situations to align with their narrative.

Over time, these behaviours can chip away at your self-esteem, leaving you feeling confused, powerless, and disconnected from who you are. You might find yourself walking on eggshells, abandoning your needs to avoid conflict or their anger. This is especially true if the narcissistic person uses rage or subtle threats, which can trigger survival responses, particularly in women or anyone facing a power imbalance, such as in relationships involving physical intimidation. If you’re in Toronto and these experiences resonate, know that you’re not alone, and recovery is possible with the right support.

Signs You May Be Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse

Wondering if what you’re going through is narcissistic abuse? Here are some telltale signs to watch for:

Constant Self-Doubt: You second-guess your thoughts, feelings, or intuition because they’re repeatedly dismissed or invalidated.
Cognitive Dissonance: You feel confused about what happened, struggling to reconcile your behaviour with reality. This mental fog is a hallmark of narcissistic abuse, as noted by Psychology Today.
Loss of Identity: You feel like you’ve lost touch with who you are, as your needs and voice have been sidelined to appease them.
Fear of Conflict: You avoid expressing yourself to keep the peace, especially if they react with anger or emotional neglect.
Isolation: They may turn friends or family against you by crafting a charming public persona, leaving you feeling unsupported or misunderstood.

These patterns can leave deep emotional scars, sometimes leading to complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), particularly if the abuse was long-term or involved volatility. If you’re in Toronto and searching for “therapists for narcissistic abuse recovery,” recognizing these signs is the first step toward healing.

Why Choose a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Specialist in Toronto?

Not all therapists are equipped to address the unique challenges of narcissistic abuse. General therapy approaches, like venting or exploring emotions, are valuable but may fall short without specialized knowledge of narcissistic manipulation. A therapist trained in narcissistic abuse recovery understands the nuances—like gaslighting, emotional control, and the erosion of your identity—and can help you navigate the confusion and pain with clarity.

As a narcissistic abuse recovery specialist in Toronto, I offer targeted support that goes beyond traditional therapy. I know the tactics narcissists use to undermine your reality, and I’m here to help you untangle the web of manipulation. My practice is rooted in empathy, validation, and evidence-based techniques to help you rebuild your sense of self. Plus, working with a local Toronto therapist means accessible in-person or virtual sessions that may be covered by insurance providers like Manulife, Desjardins, or Green Shield.

The Path to Recovery: Reclaiming Your Voice and Identity

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey of rediscovery, empowerment, and freedom. Here’s what narcissistic abuse recovery in Toronto looks like with me:

1. Gaining Clarity on What Happened

The first step is understanding the manipulation you’ve experienced. Narcissistic abuse often leaves you with cognitive dissonance—a sense of confusion about what’s real. You may ask yourself, “What just happened to me?” or feel lost in a fog of doubt. As your therapist, I’ll help you sort through the arguments, gaslighting, and invalidation to gain clarity on the patterns of emotional control. We’ll identify how the narcissist dismissed your feelings, denied your reality, or manipulated you into questioning your truth. This process is about seeing the abuse for what it was, not what they convinced you it was.

2. Validating Your Experience

Narcissists train you to seek their validation, often breaking down your self-esteem to make you dependent on their approval. In recovery, we’ll work to validate your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Unlike a narcissist who denies your perspective, I’ll provide a safe space to acknowledge your reality and respect your unique viewpoint. According to the American Psychological Association, validation is critical for rebuilding self-worth after emotional trauma. This step helps you trust your intuition and reclaim your voice.

3. Reclaiming Your True Identity

Narcissistic abuse often erodes your sense of self, as you abandon your needs to appease the narcissist. Over time, this can feel like a loss of identity, leaving you disconnected from who you are. Recovery involves rediscovering and reclaiming your true self. We’ll explore what matters to you—your values, passions, and strengths—and rebuild the parts of you that were suppressed. This process is about breaking free from the narcissist’s control and embracing your autonomy.

4. Healing Survival Responses and Trauma

If the narcissistic abuse involved anger, volatility, or threats, you may have developed survival-based responses to stay safe. For example, you might have learned to agree with the narcissist to avoid conflict, especially if their temper felt threatening. This is common in situations with a power imbalance, such as when a male partner uses intimidation. These survival mechanisms can linger, manifesting as anxiety, hypervigilance, or even C-PTSD.

Recovery may include somatic and nervous system work to regulate these responses. Somatic therapy, as supported by research from the Trauma Research Foundation, helps release stored trauma from the body, fostering a sense of safety and freedom. We’ll work together to rewire those deep-seated survival patterns, helping you feel grounded and empowered.

5. Building Emotional Resilience

Long-term narcissistic abuse can suppress your ability to trust yourself or others. We’ll focus on emotion regulation techniques to help you navigate triggers and rebuild confidence. This might include mindfulness practices, journaling, or relational therapy to foster healthy connections. By the end of our work together, you’ll feel stronger, more self-assured, and ready to move forward without the weight of the past.

Why Local Support in Toronto Matters

Choosing a narcissistic abuse recovery therapist in Toronto offers unique benefits. Local therapy means you can access in-person sessions in the Greater Toronto Area or convenient virtual appointments if you’re in nearby areas like Mississauga, Scarborough, or Etobicoke. Plus, many Toronto-based insurance providers, such as Manulife, Desjardins, or Green Shield, may cover therapy sessions, making recovery more accessible. By working with a local specialist, you’re choosing someone who understands the nuances of your community and can provide personalized, culturally sensitive care.

Who Can Benefit from Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?

This specialized therapy is for anyone in Toronto who:

Feels confused or invalidated after a relationship with a narcissistic partner, parent, or friend.

Struggles with self-doubt, low self-esteem, or a loss of identity due to emotional manipulation.

Experiences anxiety, C-PTSD, or survival-based responses from prolonged abuse.

Wants to work with a therapist who truly understands the complexities of narcissistic abuse.

Whether you’re in downtown Toronto, North York, or the GTA, I’m here to help you heal and reclaim your life.

Take the First Step Toward Healing Today

Narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling powerless, but you don’t have to navigate recovery alone. As a narcissistic abuse recovery specialist in Toronto, I’m committed to helping you gain clarity, validate your experiences, and rebuild your sense of self. Together, we’ll untangle the manipulation, heal the trauma, and empower you to live with confidence and freedom.

If you’re ready to begin your journey, please contact me today to schedule a consultation. Let’s work together to reclaim your voice and identity. You deserve to feel whole again, and I’m here to support you every step of the way. Reach out now to schedule a session and discover how narcissistic abuse recovery in Toronto can transform your life.

"Freedom for the Captive" is a trauma-informed Bible study designed to support individuals and couples navigating sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, or emotional strongholds. Drawing from Isaiah 61 and rooted in the hope of Christ, this study invites participants to explore what true freedom looks like—not just behaviorally, but spiritually and relationally. Perfect for use in clinical settings, support groups, or personal reflection, this resource combines Scripture, guided questions, and practical tools for lasting healing and transformation.

Experiencing trauma can be one of the most profound disruptors of peace and self-compassion in one’s life. It can shatter your sense of security, warp self-perception, and make the world seem an unforgiving place. The journey to healing is often long and winding, but central to this path is the cultivation of compassion—not just for others, but critically, for oneself. This post seeks to guide those who have experienced trauma towards embracing compassion as a vital tool for healing.

The Impact of Trauma on Self-Compassion

Trauma, by its nature, can foster feelings of isolation, helplessness, and a profound sense of unworthiness or self-blame. In the aftermath, individuals may struggle with intrusive thoughts, hyperarousal, and an ongoing sense of danger, making the world appear hostile, and thus, crippling their ability to feel compassion for themselves or others. The self-criticism and guilt that often accompany traumatic experiences act as barriers to self-compassion, further entrenching the trauma.

The Role of Compassion in Healing

Compassion, particularly self-compassion, is crucial in the healing process. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you would offer a good friend. This gentle and empathetic stance towards oneself can be transformative, enabling individuals to navigate their trauma from a place of understanding and care rather than self-judgment.

1. Recognizing Common Humanity

Trauma can make you feel uniquely broken or isolated. However, understanding that suffering and imperfection are part of the shared human experience can help mitigate these feelings. Recognizing that you are not alone in your struggles fosters a sense of connection and opens the door to compassion.

2. Mindfulness in the Face of Pain

Mindfulness, the practice of being present and fully engaging with the here and now, is essential for self-compassion. It allows you to observe your feelings and thoughts without judgment, confronting pain with an open heart. Through mindfulness, one learns to recognize negative thought patterns and respond to them with kindness rather than getting entangled in them.

3. Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment

At the heart of self-compassion is self-kindness. This means actively soothing and caring for oneself, as opposed to engaging in harsh self-criticism. Replacing self-criticism with a kind voice can significantly alter how you relate to yourself post-trauma.

Practical Steps to Cultivate Compassion After Trauma

Cultivating compassion is a deliberate practice that requires patience and consistency. Here are practical steps to start incorporating it into your healing journey:

* Journaling with Compassion: Use journaling to express your feelings and thoughts. Approach what you would typically judge with a sense of understanding and kindness. Write yourself letters of support and understanding, as you would to a friend in need.
* Mindfulness and Meditation Practices: Engage in mindfulness meditation focusing on compassion, both for yourself and others. Guided meditations can be particularly helpful in developing a compassionate mindset.
* Seek Connection: Find support groups or communities of individuals with similar experiences. Sharing your story and hearing others can nurture a sense of belonging and compassion.
* Self-Care Rituals: Incorporate self-care rituals into your daily routine. This could be anything from a soothing bath, reading, exercising, or engaging in a hobby you love. These acts of kindness towards oneself reinforce feelings of worthiness and self-compassion.

Conclusion

Embarking on a journey of cultivating compassion after experiencing trauma is by no means an easy feat. It requires confronting pain, practicing patience, and consistently choosing kindness both for yourself and others. However, the transformative power of compassion in the healing process cannot be understated. It can turn wounds into wisdom, isolation into connection, and self-criticism into love. Remember, the journey towards healing and compassion is not a solitary one; support is available, and every step, no matter how small, is a step towards a more compassionate self.

For anyone walking this path, remember, your feelings are valid, your experiences do not define your worth, and with time and support, healing is not just a possibility but a reality. Cultivating compassion isn’t just about making peace with the past; it’s about building a foundation for a future filled with kindness, understanding, and love—first and foremost, for yourself.

In the whirlwind of our daily lives, finding stillness and peace can often seem like an unreachable dream. As Christians, we yearn for a deeper connection with God amidst the noise, seeking clarity and serenity in His presence. This is where the intersection of Christian faith and mindfulness practices offers a profound pathway to nurturing our spiritual health and deepening our relationship with God. Engaging in Christian-based mindfulness techniques doesn’t just fit within our worldview; it enriches it, drawing us closer to God and the peace that surpasses understanding.

The Christian Approach to Mindfulness

Christian mindfulness is about being fully present in the moment with an open heart to God's presence and guidance. It is a deliberate act of focusing our mind and spirit on God's goodness and surrendering our worries to Him. This practice does not conflict with Christian beliefs but rather complements our prayer life, offering a structured way to calm our minds and listen more closely to what God is trying to tell us.

Techniques to Deepen Your Spiritual Connection

Scripture Meditation: Begin your day by meditating on a specific scripture. Let the words sink into your heart and mind, pondering over how you can apply its lessons throughout your day. This form of meditation invites the Holy Spirit to speak through God's Word, transforming and guiding us in our daily walk with Christ.

Gratitude Journaling: Keep a journal where you can daily list things you’re grateful for. This simple act can profoundly shift your focus from life’s challenges to its blessings, fostering a heart of gratitude that recognizes God’s hand in even the smallest details of life.

Breath Prayer: Inhale deeply while internally saying, “Lord Jesus Christ,” and exhale with, "Have mercy on me.” This ancient Christian practice can help bring about a sense of God’s peace and presence, especially in moments of stress or distraction.

Nature Walks: Use walks in nature as a time to reflect on God's creation and find peace in the beauty of the world He has made. This not only offers physical exercise but also spiritual refreshment, reminding us of the Creator who cares for all creation.

Examen Prayer: At the end of the day, reflect on the moments for which you are most grateful and those you found challenging. Ask God to reveal His presence in those times and seek His guidance for the day ahead. This Ignatian spirituality practice helps discern God’s direction and presence in our daily lives.

Quiet Time for Listening: Dedicate a part of your day to sit in silence before God, allowing His Spirit to speak to you. In these moments of stillness, we often find clarity and comfort that can guide us through life’s complexities.

Bringing Mindfulness into Your Daily Routine

Incorporating these practices into your daily life need not be overwhelming. Start with a few minutes each day, choosing the practice that speaks most to your heart. The key is consistency and allowing yourself to grow in mindfulness over time. These moments of stillness and reflection can become a cherished part of your day, a sacred time to connect with God deeply.

Are you ready to deepen your spiritual journey and experience the transformative power of mindfulness within a Christian context? Begin today and may your path be illuminated by God’s unwavering light and love.

FearFaithTrusting God
Fear is a powerful and natural emotion. Defined as an unpleasant feeling caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat, fear serves an important role in our survival. As a verb, to fear means to be afraid of potential harm, whether physical or psychological. There are moments when fear is not only understandable but necessary—like when an out-of-control car speeds toward us, when someone who has hurt us in the past unexpectedly appears, or when we receive a concerning medical diagnosis. These are legitimate reasons to feel fear.

Understanding Fear as a Biological Response
Biologically, fear is a primal emotional response. Our amygdala, a part of the brain, alerts us to potential dangers by triggering this emotion, often without any conscious planning. Its job is to keep us safe by preparing our body to react to threats. However, when fear becomes constant or overwhelming, it stops being a helpful warning and instead becomes a burden that can hinder our well-being.

Introducing Faith as the Antidote
In contrast to fear, there is faith. Faith is defined as having complete trust or confidence in someone or something. We often place our faith in family, jobs, or promises made by others. Yet, when we rely on things that are temporary or uncertain, disappointment can follow. True faith, as described in the Bible, goes beyond mere hope or wishful thinking. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” This verse reveals that faith is an active, confident trust in what cannot be seen or fully understood.

Faith in Action: Trusting God Over Fear
Faith is essential for a relationship with God. It is not just an abstract idea but a genuine trust that leads to action. When we place our faith in God—who is everlasting and unchanging—we find a source of strength and peace that fear cannot provide. Jesus Christ, the living Word made flesh, embodies this faithfulness and invites us to trust in Him even when circumstances seem uncertain or frightening.

Choosing faith over fear does not mean ignoring reality or pretending that challenges do not exist. Instead, it means acknowledging our fears but deciding to trust in God’s promises and character. It means stepping forward with confidence, knowing that our faith is grounded in something eternal.

Faith-Filled Affirmations

From Isaiah 41:10 — "Fear not, for I am with you..."

I will not fear, because my God is with me wherever I go.

I am upheld by God's righteous right hand — I will not fall.

Even in weakness, I am strengthened by the One who promises never to leave me.

From Hebrews 11:1 — "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for..."

I walk by faith and not by sight — my hope is rooted in God’s promises.

Even when I cannot see the way forward, I believe that God is already working it out.

My faith is active, alive, and anchored in a God who never fails.

From 2 Timothy 1:7 — "For God has not given us a spirit of fear..."

I have been given a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind.

Fear has no place in me — I am bold, wise, and deeply loved.

I carry the courage of Christ within me; I do not shrink back from my calling.


Marti’s Message

In a world filled with uncertainty, fear can feel overwhelming. Yet, by embracing faith, we can find hope, courage, and reassurance. When fear threatens to paralyze us, faith empowers us to move forward, trusting that God is with us every step of the way.

I recently heard a pastor say that Scripture tells us over 365 times not to fear. For example, Isaiah 41:10 states, “fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you.” Second Timothy 1:7 reads,” God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and a sound mind.” One of my favorite songs is Fear Is a Liar by Zach Williams. The beginning of the song is about all of the negative words that people may say to us and as a result we begin to doubt who we really are. But, the song ends with this statement, “Fear is a liar.”

Let’s use our wise minds and do not let our emotions take over. Let’s examine the facts and then make the wise choice of who to believe; the liar or the Truth.


Contact Us for Support

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the weight of expectations, battling fear in your decisions, or simply trying to hold it all together—you're not alone. Whether you're navigating motherhood, womanhood, or the unknowns of young adulthood, our faith-based counseling is here to walk beside you. Reach out today and take your next step in faith and freedom.

Teresa Lusk, Pastor, Board Certified Biblical Counselor, and
Founder of ExecYou Coach | Allen, TX
To Schedule Your appointment: 214-552-6470 | https://beyondfreedomchurch.org/coaching

Many clients come to therapists or pastoral counselors hoping to resolve their issues. They wonder if childhood habits, memories, or traumas contribute to their current crisis. But how often do clients and therapists consider deeper possibilities contributing to the wrestlings of the soul?

While I hold a Master’s degree in Professional Counseling and am a Board-Certified Biblical Counselor with years of experience and hundreds of clients, nothing compares to the wisdom, presence, and power of the Holy Spirit. He is the One who sets people free beyond circumstantial issues and pierces into spiritual obstacles often unnoticed and unrealized by both clients and therapists. The spiritual issues I refer to are a phenomenon—the need for deliverance ministry. Deliverance ministry frees individuals from demonic oppression that may arise from the experiences I mentioned, but also from encounters not often recognized by many. This includes involvement in the occult by the client or their family, sexual abuse, and even child abuse and neglect.
Many clients have seen their lives transformed in just one session when exploring the reality of demonic oppression. What should separate Christian counseling from secular counseling is our dependence on the presence and power of the LORD and recognition that we have something greater than the tools taught in universities.

What does a session look like when working with clients who meet certain criteria indicating the need for deliverance counseling and freedom ministry? First, we must be attuned to the discernment of the Lord. 1 Corinthians 2:14–15 (NASB) states, "But a natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. But the one who is spiritual discerns all things, yet he himself or herself is discerned by no one." This means we have trained ourselves to see spiritually first and consider the fullness of how the Lord created us—body, soul (mind, will, emotions, intellect), and spirit.

Second, we utilize a questionnaire that inquires about past and present involvement in various forms of witchcraft, even subtle practices. Clients may report nightmares, night terrors, feelings of being watched, oppression of body and mind they cannot shake, cycles of non-stop failure, and closed doors, to name a few.As a Hispanic woman, I can assure you that many non-white cultures open the doors to practices that seem harmless but are gateways to darkness because they are ingrained as normal within those cultures. The number of clients who confess to such activity and display manifestations of demonic oppression is very high and common. This is not to say our white brothers and sisters do not participate, as blatant witchcraft participation is growing even among our youth. However, the normalization of occult practices is greater in the aforementioned cultures.

Additionally, for the sake of time and providing only a summary of this biblical counseling approach, we utilize the power of renunciation and repentance. I lead clients through prayers that break ties with past and present participation in the occult. If they have experienced physical or sexual abuse, I employ a healing and forgiveness series of confessions that have proven successful repeatedly, and the LORD honors these words when partnered with our faith.

This is not something learned in a day but developed through years of practice and Scriptures that confirm my methods in counseling and ministry. Nothing compares to this type of counseling and deliverance. No number of years attaining a Master’s or PhD in counseling or psychiatry can produce the results of the Holy Spirit in the room with a counselor or minister who understands the power of biblical freedom. This is not to diminish other theories and techniques—after all, the truth sets people free. But freedom comes in various levels.

The evidence that your client has attained a deeper spiritual freedom through deliverance-biblical counseling begins with accelerated change. Effective Holy Spirit-led deliverance techniques have undeniable results, starting with the very feeling of freedom. It cannot be manufactured. Other immediate changes include elimination of nightmares, no longer feeling watched, joy, physical energy, desire to read the Bible, wanting to be around people, a sense of belonging and being welcomed by others, among other signs.

I say: information and knowledge are not enough—we need experience to follow. This counseling ministry is exemplified in the Bible. When Jesus preached, He followed it with action. Matthew 4:23 (NASB) writes, “Jesus was going throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people.” There are many other scriptures like this. I invite counselors, pastors, spiritual leaders, and lay ministers to train and employ this counseling school of the Holy Spirit. Pastors and counselors need to experience this transformative ministry themselves to effectively guide others toward lasting freedom and deeper healing. Many Christians in mental health trust secular teachings faster than they trust that the Lord offers healing, deliverance, and freedom principles in the Bible. I invite you as a counselor and pastor to tap into a world long neglected and begin experiencing the accelerated, life-changing, life-giving ministry of the great Counselor in your healing rooms.

For more information about when Pastoral Counseling Meets Deliverance Training or speaking/preaching for you, your church, or group of leaders, contact Pastor Teresa Lusk | teresa@teresalusk.com or text 214-552-6470. To start learning about this counseling process immediately, grab a copy of my book, Unapologetically Free: Deliverance and Freedom through the Spirit-Filled Life. Order by texting the number above, or get your copy on Amazon.

#SpiritualFreedom #DeliveranceMinistry #ChristianCounseling #BiblicalCounseling #HolySpiritPower #FaithAndHealing #InnerHealing #DemonicOppression #RenunciationAndRepentance #UnapologeticallyFree #BoardCertifiedCounselor #ChristianTherapist #PastoralCounseling #FaithBasedHealing #CounselingWithChrist #TraumaInformedFaith #ChristianLeaders #PastorsOfInstagram #CounselorsOfFaith #ChristianCoaching #HealingForBelievers #ChurchLeadersUnite #LayMinisters #BreakingGenerationalCurses #FreedomInChrist #SpiritualDiscernment #OvercomingTheOccult #NoMoreNightmares #HealingFromAbuse #FreedomThroughForgiveness #ExecYouCoach #BeyondFreedomChurch #TeresaLuskMinistries #FreedomCounseling #BookOfDeliverance #HealingMinistry #TexasMinistry

Is obsessive thinking keeping you up at night? Maybe you wake up at 3 am and you keep thinking the same thoughts over and over and imagining the worst-case scenario.

You might experience…
Uncontrollable anxiety…
Your stomach in knots…
Your heart pounding…
Your body shaking…
You might even feel stupid or silly for being so anxious.
Wondering…
What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I just calm down?
Will this ever stop?
If that’s you, you’re not alone. I was all of these.

There was a time when I was obsessed with anxious thoughts. I was drowning in worry and fear. My thinking was dominated by fearful “what if’s” about the future. I was a basket case of tense energy unable to stop frantic thoughts.

All I wanted was to calm down, be able to sleep, and get control of myself. I wanted to be able to think clearly rather than being overwhelmed with scary images of what could happen.
I needed to stop my obsessive thinking. I needed to get clear about what was really happening.
With help, I was able to calm down and think clearly.

Here’s what I discovered….
My obsessive thinking was driven by the assumptions I was making about what might happen.
That’s right….my thoughts were focused on what might happen…not reality!
ASSUMPTIONS were killing me!

What is an assumption?

Simply put, an assumption is something that we accept as true or as likely to happen without proof.

Where Assumptions Come From

Assumptions or prejudgments develop throughout our lives. Childhood experiences shape unconscious ideas and conclusions about everything. Throughout our early development and into adulthood we absorb thinking patterns modeled by significant others.

How Assumptions Act

Assumptions act as “filters” for everything that happens. These “filters” pop up automatically in our thinking and cause anxiety. Based on a lifetime of developing assumptions, our minds jump to conclusions that actually have no basis in reality.

It’s about spontaneous, involuntary thoughts that jump into our heads causing worry and fear.
We make assumptions about all kinds of things. We automatically accept assumptions as true when they’ve not been tested by reality. This results in worry and overwhelm.

What assumptions are you making right now? How are these assumptions making you anxious?

How to Let Go of Assumptions Causing Anxiety

1. Ask yourself: How true is this assumption really? Is this really likely to happen? Take time to become aware of thoughts automatically surfacing in your mind. Then reflect on these questions honestly and carefully.

Getting clear and practical about the situation you’re anxious about provides new perspectives. Taking a “matter-of-fact” approach generates a sensible, authentic thought pattern. It helps you think logically and calms you down.

2. Create a blank space in your thinking. Pausing to reflect on what’s really true in a worrisome situation, produces a void or empty space. Hold the empty space. Avoid allowing more assumptions to crowd your mind.

Keeping an open mind is difficult. It means consistently throwing out automatic, harmful thoughts. It means patience and offering kindness to yourself as you do the work of keeping an open mind until real evidence shows up. Then you can make a rational decision. Now it’s not an imagined answer rooted in your anxiety. It is a decision based on the facts.

That is how you can stop obsessive thinking. That is one technique I used to do it and you can do it too.

Several months ago, a woman overwhelmed with anxiety about a situation in her family contacted me. She could not stop thinking about the problems. She was losing sleep and unable to function.

We talked about the thoughts that were troubling her. As she sorted out what was really true in her confused thoughts, she began to feel lighter and calmer. She gained clarity about what was really going on.

I hope you can follow these tips and reduce your anxiety.
But if you are truly struggling with obsessive thoughts keeping you up at night, imagining worst-case scenarios, and you can’t get it to stop, watch my Free 10 Minute Video on How to Stop Anxiety at https://janekcoaching.com/how-to-stop-anxiety/. Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation at https://janekcoaching.com/schedule-a-call/

Many believers seek Christian counseling not because they’ve lost faith, but because they’re holding onto it by a thread.

Maybe that’s you—tired, confused, anxious, overwhelmed… wondering why the peace promised in Scripture feels so far away.

Let me say this gently: you are not weak for needing help. You're human—and deeply loved by God.

At God’s Best Christian Therapy (GBCT), we walk with people navigating:

* Anxiety that prayer hasn’t silenced
* Depression that makes worship feel empty
* Marriage and family tension that hurts deeper because you care deeply
* Sexual or relational brokenness carried in silence
* Life transitions, grief, or burnout that cloud your sense of purpose

We use Biblical Cognitive Behavioral Therapy—a Christ-centered approach that helps clients identify and reshape thought patterns through both clinical tools and Scriptural truth. It's not just about managing symptoms—it's about healing from the inside out, guided by God's Word.

What we want you to know is this:

* God sees you (Genesis 16:13)
* Your feelings aren’t failures—they're signals
* You don’t have to choose between faith and therapy. You can pursue both in grace.

If you're considering counseling, know you're not alone—and the first step doesn't have to be scary. You’re invited to reach out for a 15–20 minute consultation at no cost, just to see if this is the right next step for you.

*“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

Some people believe that fathers don't really contribute that much to a child's rearing. This is a large myth and research backs up the importance of father in a child's life. In this first part I will talk about how dad contributes to the child's development. In our second part I will talk about the stages of development and fatherhood and how that relates to leadership with staff as they develop.

The Father’s Contribution during Early Childhood
Be a back up to Mom.
Be involved with the child so that she can form a bonded relationship with someone other than Mom.
Be available to the child so that he can move away from Mom and establish himself as a separate person. At around four years, start taking the child out of orbit around Mom.
Provide an outlet for the child’s anger and frustration with Mom.
Lay the groundwork for development of the child’s sexual identity.
Be a source of safety and security.
Lay a foundation for interaction in future years.
Provide a parenting model for the child.


The Father’s Contribution during the Elementary School Years

Encourage the child to see herself as a productive individual.
Help the child develop competence in a variety of skill areas.
Foster healthy self-confidence in the child.
Help the child learn to contain and control his personality and emotions, especially anger.
Provide a safe environment for exploration and for learning both cognitive and social skills.
By active leadership in the family, free the child to be a child.
Clarify sexual identity for the child. Model what a son is to become and what a daughter is not to become.
Provide a parenting model for the child.


The Father’s Contribution during Adolescence

Teach the child how to relate triadically (to two other people at the same time).
Be a source of competition and modeling for a son as he grows toward manhood.
Affirm a daughter’s femininity and her growth toward womanhood.
Be available to resolve any leftover issues from the earlier stages of development.
Make his inner strength and stability available to the child, providing a counterbalance to the roller coaster of adolescence.
Model a good marriage relationship.
Present a unified authority with the mother to prevent the child from “splitting.”
Provide a blessing as the child moves into adulthood.
Provide a parenting model for the child. Provide mentoring.



Father Influence and Leadership


The Nurturing Leader; This is a leader who has new people that are training and learning the job while he sets limits with them. He also helps them with grace and care to learn the actual tasks of the job as well as the relationships involved


The Lawgiver Leader: This is the leader who sets down rules and expectations as well as defining jobs and helping the more permanent or problematic employee get on the right path. Having already provided bonding and connection this leader has the freedom to set boundaries with staff.


The Warrior-Protector Leader: Helping staff by fighting for them and against things that are problematic is very much a part of this leaders job. This leader also encourages and promotes initiative and the proper use of power in the work situation.


See Making Peace With Your Father by David Stoop, PhD

This reflective Bible study offers compassionate encouragement for those wrestling with shame, self-criticism, and burnout. Rooted in Scripture and written by a licensed Christian therapist, it invites readers into God’s gentle grace and provides practical, faith-based insight for anyone seeking emotional and spiritual renewal.

What are intensive sessions?
Intensive sessions are extended therapy sessions. They allow individuals, families, or couples to meet beyond the standard 45-50 minute session time. Extended sessions can last anywhere from 90 minutes to 4 hours at a time over 1-3 days. These sessions may be scheduled semi-regularly, on a bi-weekly or monthly cadence. Other individuals find benefit in meeting for only one extended session or multiple days in a row. Many individuals who participate in intensives with us discover a quicker route to healing & transformation.
There is no right or wrong length of time, as we do not take a one-size-fits-all approach. We will partner with you in order to determine the best approach and make sure you are comfortable every step of the way. We use a Holistic and Christ-centered therapy approach in extended sessions. Often referring to what God, the creator of the Universe, says about you in order to reframe the negative self-talk in your mind.
Where are your intensive sessions located?

In person or virtual. Our intensive outpatient weekend therapy serves clients in sunny Ventura, California. Accessible to people in the vicinity of Santa Monica, Malibu, Calabasas, Santa Barbara, Ojai & surrounding areas. We also offer these services via confidential & secure video for people located throughout California, Florida & South Carolina. You only need to be in one of these states for the intensive session. If travel is an option for you, it may be worth considering a retreat-style intensive session with us.
How can intensive sessions help?

Our rapid relief therapy sessions assist individuals in moving through aspects that seem to be holding them back or hindering the progress they wish to make. The typical therapy session can leave some people feeling stuck and overwhelmed with having to come back week after week for little progress. Many of my clients tell me they only start feeling “warmed up" around the 30-minute mark in session. They feel like a breakthrough is ready to happen, only to be moved to close out for the session to end on time. Another week goes by with mounting personal issues and a limited capacity to handle them all. They have the space to process the week, which can be a blessing, but in reality, is also very limiting. So much more work can be done, which is why we have found that moving outside the limits of time constraints leads to lasting change. You were meant for more; you can feel it, but you aren’t sure which direction to go. We are happy to walk alongside you while you work toward your goals.
We have intensive clients who find that meeting for maintenance sessions on a regular or semi-regular cadence can be beneficial. While others prefer to maintain work with their regular therapists before and after our intensives together. As we discussed earlier, there really is no right or wrong way to engage in intensive sessions. Our goal is to provide the space you need to knock down barriers, connect to the purpose God has for your life, and experience improved emotional well-being. Dramatic change can happen over a weekend, something years of therapy often can not achieve.

What kind of issues are addressed in intensive therapy sessions?
We address an array of issues that may be present in your life. These may include, but are not limited to, historical or current traumas, limiting self-beliefs, anxiety, depression, relationship & communication issues. We work with adult individuals, families with minor & adult children & couples.

How does it work?
The first step is to reach out for a consult in order to determine if working together would be beneficial. We will set up a 15-20 minute call & you will have the opportunity to ask any questions or get clarification on aspects of what we offer. It is important that you are stable & not in active crisis in order to get the most out of our sessions together. After the consult we schedule an intake session where we meet by phone or video for 45-60 minutes in order to formulate goals & a plan for our intensive session. We will determine meeting date & length of time. In order to encourage a commitment to yourself, a 50% deposit will be required at time of booking & refunds are not provided.
Who are intensive not right for?
It is important for all of us to understand there are some limits to intensive sessions. Individuals in active crisis, experiencing suicidality or who are in active addictions would not be candidates. Couples who do not have the same goals for therapy, who are not sure they want to stay in the marriage or if there is an ongoing affair would not benefit from our intensive therapy format. If you fins yourself needing urgent support please reach out to 988 via call or text.

I have had my fair share of suffering in life, as I assume you also have if you've decided to read this, and I would like to say that I "evolved" in my understanding of the purpose of suffering and how God truly gets the glory when I'm going through the worst moments of my life.


One particular scripture comes to mind:


"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:3-5


This scripture always reminds me that the suffering we endure isn't for nothing, but is very much so purposeful. In the moment, we feel that it's unfair to endure what we're up against, but from God's perspective, it's the best way for us to grow in particular areas because we are here (on this earth) for HIM not OURSELVES.


Ouch.. I know that probably stung a bit, but one thing you'll hear from me is the truth, but it will always be clothed in care because that's exactly how God communicates with me and would want His truth to be delivered.


We are promised an abundant life and prosperity, but we are also promised trials, tribulations, and inconveniences. God never designed this life for us to receive one side of things and erase the other. BOTH work in contingent with each other to achieve God's perfect will, and to bring us to Himself.


That's why our suffering glorifies Him. Because we grow in many areas and we learn to seek His aid in everything. There is no growth without suffering.


So if you have suffered any trauma or are currently suffering through something, I want to encourage you begin offering that suffering to God and asking for His strength to endure what you're facing. It may be helpful to ask God these questions:


1. What is the purpose of this particular situation I'm suffering through?

2. What are You revealing about me or others in this situation?

3. What are the lessons I need to learn through this?

4. How should I change my thinking about this situation to align more with Your will?


Not only does these questions cause you to go deeper in understanding more about God's plans for you in the midst of your suffering, but it also opens up the opportunity for you to build true intimacy with Him.


I pray this encourages you in your life's journey.

**If you're a woman in Florida or Illinois looking for more direction to start your growth and healing journey, please visit my website to schedule a consultation and discuss more details!


Your Sister in Christ,


Dominique S. Russell, MA, LCPC

May is a month that comes in full bloom.

The days stretch longer. Blossoms spill onto sidewalks. The air fills with the scent of possibility—and for many, a rush of emotion. School years wind down, graduation gowns are steamed and ready, and families gather to celebrate milestones large and small. For some, it’s a time of deep joy, pride, or relief. For others, it may bring a quieter ache—longing for what hasn’t come, mourning what’s been lost, or feeling left out of celebrations altogether.

In my work with women, couples, and families, I often hear how the “big feelings” of this month stir things up. You might find yourself feeling multiple things at once: proud and depleted, joyful and tender, hopeful and overwhelmed. You may be gearing up for “swimsuit season” with a new sense of confidence—or facing body image struggles that whisper old, unkind stories. Mother’s Day may be a treasured time to celebrate beloved women in your life—or a tender reminder of absence, grief, or complex relationships.

Whatever is present for you this month, I want to offer this simple truth:
Your feelings are valid. They matter. And they are worthy of gentle attention.

The Emotional Landscape of May

If you’re feeling a bit emotionally scrambled this month, you’re not alone. May tends to hold a mix of:

Celebratory Moments:

A sense of renewal as the weather shifts
Graduations, proms, and “move-up” ceremonies
A fresh start in health or wellness routines
Mother’s Day celebrations with loved ones


Tender or Complicated Emotions:

Grief for a mother, child, or dream not yet fulfilled
Loneliness or exclusion from seasonal milestones
Pressure around body image or comparison
Emotional whiplash from everyone else's "highlight reels"


Scripture reminds us in Romans 12:15:
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.”
Sometimes, we’re doing both at the same time.


Making Space for Your Truth

We often feel pressure to “match” the emotional tone around us. To smile when we’re hurting. To push down grief in the face of someone else’s joy. But our emotional world is sacred ground. You are allowed to name what’s real for you, even when it doesn’t fit the mood of the month.

Here are a few questions for gentle reflection:

What’s blooming in me right now—and what’s still tender or raw?
Are there emotions I’ve been pushing aside that need a moment of acknowledgment?
What’s one expectation (mine or someone else’s) I can release this month?
Where might I need to offer myself more compassion or room for joy?

Try journaling these questions, bringing them into prayer, or just being present with them on a quiet walk.


Simple Ways to Care for Yourself in Every Mood

You don’t have to fix your feelings—you can simply care for them. Here are a few small ways to honor whatever you're carrying this month:


If You're Celebrating...

Take time to savor—write down the moment or share it with a friend.
Ground yourself with gratitude, but don’t guilt yourself for your joy.
Reach out to someone who may need encouragement—it helps deepen your celebration.


If You're Grieving, Tender, or Feeling Disconnected...

Light a candle for what you've lost or long for.
Write a letter—to God, to your future self, or even to someone you’ve lost.
Create your own mini-ritual: a walk, a favorite meal, a private moment of remembrance.
Take a social media break if scrolling amplifies comparison or grief.


For Everyone...

Let your body lead: rest when tired, stretch when stiff, and move when you feel stuck.
Reconnect with God, not through striving but through stillness.
Nourish your soul with something that brings quiet joy: a song, a book, or a cup of tea in the sun.
Make time to connect with those who see you and embrace you fully as you are.


Closing Thought

May is a garden. Some parts are bursting with color. Others are just beginning to grow. Some may still feel hidden, waiting for the right time to bloom. Wherever you are in the landscape of this month, know this:

You are allowed to feel what you feel. You are worthy of gentleness and joy. And you are not alone.

Our relationship with God—what we believe about His love, presence, and trustworthiness—often draws from more than just theology. The foundation for how we understand love, safety, and connection is often shaped by our earliest human relationships. For some, those early experiences were warm and supportive. For others, they may have been marked by unpredictability, neglect, or pain.
When childhood involves adversity, some people find that these experiences negatively influence how they relate to God later in life. Others, raised in difficult environments, feel deeply connected to a loving and protective God. Others fall somewhere in between, still exploring how their past experiences and their spiritual life intersect. There’s no one right way to relate to God—but the intersection of trauma and faith is a topic worth exploring, both in therapy and in research. By asking questions rather than offering answers, we can begin to understand how early experiences may (or may not) influence a person’s spiritual journey.

Your Voice Matters: Invitation to Participate in Research
I’m conducting a study to better understand the relationship between childhood trauma, post-traumatic outcomes, and attachment to God. The study aims to explore how people’s early life experiences might shape their relationship with God.
If you’re 18 or older, have experienced at least one adverse childhood experience (ACE), and believe in a higher power, I would be grateful for your participation. Your perspective could offer valuable insights into how faith and trauma intersect, and how this connection can inform spiritual care in the mental health field.

https://northwestupsych.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_7QgxS4FgCDtpFFI

Thank you for considering this opportunity to share your story. Please feel free to pass this along to others who may be interested.

Discover the incredible power of faith and resilience at our enlightening webinar, *Women of Faith – Overcoming Adversity*. This captivating event brings together a diverse group of inspiring women who share their personal journeys of overcoming life's challenges through faith and perseverance. Whether you're seeking motivation, guidance, or a sense of community, our webinar offers valuable insights and strategies to help you navigate your own path to triumph. Reserve your spot and join us for an uplifting experience that will empower your spirit and inspire your journey.

Gratitude: A Divine Design for Wholeness
It's easy to overlook the simple yet transformative power of gratitude. Beyond being a polite response, gratitude is a profound spiritual practice that aligns our hearts with God's will and brings about peace.
The Biblical Foundation of Gratitude
The Bible tells us the importance of thankfulness. In 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18, Paul writes, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." This passage reminds us that gratitude isn't contingent on our circumstances but is a continual place we are to live in.
The Psalms are filled with calls to be thankful. Psalm 100:4 encourages us to "Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name." This demonstrates that gratitude is not just a response to blessings but a gateway into deeper communion with God.
The Science Behind Gratitude
Modern research corroborates what Scripture has long taught: gratitude has benefits for our mental, emotional, and physical health.
• Mental Health: Research has shown that practicing gratitude can lead to increased happiness and a reduction in depression.
• Physical Health: Grateful individuals often experience better sleep, lower blood pressure, and improved heart health. dralamountain.org
• Social Connections: Expressing gratitude can strengthen relationships, fostering a sense of community and belonging.
These findings reveal that gratitude is more than a spiritual discipline; it's a holistic practice that nurtures every aspect of our being.
How to Have Gratitude in Daily Life
• Gratitude Journaling: Each day, jot down three things you're thankful for. This practice shifts focus from what's lacking to what's abundant.
• Prayer and Meditation: Begin and end your day by thanking God for His blessings, both big and small.
• Acts of Kindness: Express appreciation to others through kind words or deeds, reflecting God's love in tangible ways.
So, what are you grateful for today?? God is listening, and so is your brain. 😊

According to a 2023 Gallup survey, 47% of Americans identify as “religious”, and 33% as “spiritual”. And a 2003 report issued by the National Library of Medicine reported that members of the clergy, across religious and denominational lines, were contacted by persons with mental health issues in higher proportions (23.5%) than were psychiatrists and general medical practitioners (16.7% each).

A 2023 article in the American Psychological Association publication Monitor on Psychology asserts: “Myriad studies show that religious or spiritual involvement improves mental health and can be useful in coping with trauma.” The article also suggests that when clergy don’t know enough about psychology and clinicians not enough about spirituality, they can inadvertently do harm to those who seek their help. Therefore, how religious leaders, who are generally untrained or under-trained in clinical psychology, respond to such persons may require careful discernment to ensure that it helps and does not unintentionally harm. Likewise, it is also incumbent on mental health clinicians to possess a good working knowledge of how spirituality can be embedded into clients’ narratives about self, others, and the world.

On the clinical side, I have sometimes stumbled in this regard. For instance, I used to blanketly impart to my clients the virtues of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a theory grounded in Western “bootstrap” individualism in which one is supposed to achieve what Maslow called “Self-Actualization”: by devoting their life to ascending the pyramid via achievement and individual growth until, if fortunate, one makes it all the way to the top (a pinnacle that even Maslow admitted few ever reach). Maslow, it turns out, co-opted his model from the Blackfoot Nation term niita ‘pitapi, which means “someone who is completely developed, or who has arrived.” Blackfoot spirituality perceives niita ‘pitapi as a birthright and not something to be gained through individual effort. Blackfoot culture, like that of many other indigenous communities throughout the world, is collectivist rather than individualistic, and grounded in mutual cooperation and sharing of resources. To paraphrase a Blackfoot saying, the wealthiest person in the community is the one with the least material possessions, because they gave most of them away to others who needed them more.

When we don’t properly understand a client’s particular cultural and spiritual background and if it is not like that of Western culture, espousing Maslow’s Pyramid as a self-help tool can be an afront. This is where we as clinicians have the obligation to become spiritually and culturally informed.

Those who serve their religious communities have a similar obligation. As I sat in church one recent Sunday morning, the music director introduced a worship song. “If this song does not grip your heart,” she said, “I don’t know if you’re a Christian.” The song, living up to her promise was indeed gripping and inspirational. Later our pastor, in his sermon, spoke on how, if you can’t push past your guilt, grief, pain and brokenness in order to embrace the idea that God has His hand on your life, then you, as a believer, must change your way of thinking.

Those messages brought me back to a young client I’d seen a few days earlier. Just 24 hours prior, their spouse had died suddenly and unexpectedly. My client was understandably still in shock and disbelief. “I feel numb,” they said. “I don’t know why I can’t cry right now, although sometimes I spontaneously have been. I just don’t know what I feel.”

As Sunday services continued, I thought to myself, what if any emotions would my client (also a Christian) be able to feel were they sitting with me at that moment? What would they be thinking about God and eternal life, and how would they perceive the comments that if they weren’t feeling “gripped” by the song then they might not be a Christian, that if they can’t at that point cast aside their devastation and feel the spirit of God, then they must change their mindset?

To be clear, I do not question the good intentions of the music director and the pastor any more than I question my own good intentions when I preached Maslow. Their mission is to inspire and equip the congregation to get closer to God and spread the Good News of Jesus Christ. The problem, however, is that too often such messages are geared toward people in relatively good mental health. But for persons struggling with depression, grief and loss, trauma, and other issues, such words can cut like a knife and increase distress rather than soothe it.

Let’s take trauma for example. Research shows that traumatic experiences, such as sexual assault, alter the synaptic functions in the brain, particularly what is called fear circuitry to where the victim can experience distressing nightmares, hyper-arousal and hypervigilance, avoidance of certain places, people and activities, and even flashbacks (where they actually relive the event as if it were happening all over again in real time). Trauma is existential: it challenges our erstwhile narratives of self, other people, and the world. This can alter, either temporarily or permanently, our concept of how our God or higher power loves us, protects us, and nurtures us. It may even challenge our belief altogether.

This is not a sign of weak faith. Fr. Francis P. Duffy, the iconic chaplain of the 69th New York Infantry Regiment (165th U.S. Infantry), served valiantly with his men in the trenches of World War I, regularly venturing into No Man’s Land to minister to wounded and dying soldiers and assisting stretcher bearers in bringing the casualties back to aid stations. While he was never known to have suffered what was then called “shell shock” (now PTSD), on at least one occasion he was reported to have sobbed uncontrollably upon finding the body of a soldier he’d mentored.

So how can we bridge the gap between religion and mental health, especially now when so many people need hope, assurance, and healing? I suggest that clinicians and clergy begin to more proactively reach out to one other for better mutual understanding, to exchange clinical and spiritual insights, and to collaborate in serving our clients and congregants. Here’s how we might do this:

1. Establish connections with ministers, priests, rabbis, imams, and other religious leaders, to discuss our common interest in helping those we serve to heal and to live a more balanced and satisfying life.

2. Cross-refer with them, when indicated.

3. Learn as much as we can about our own religion and other religions, particularly those that are most prevalent within our catchment areas. And make ourselves available to educate clergy members on the basic neuropsychology of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, trauma, and other mental health conditions.

4. Adopt a faith-based component to our services, and promote it in our social media, websites, and other communication platforms.

Imagine the possibilities that might arise from such a synergy between psychology and spirituality in helping our clients to overcome their challenges.

Marriages are a union of two unique individuals with separate interests, goals, and perspectives. While merging lives is a beautiful and intimate experience, maintaining individuality and personal space within this union is critical. This balance can be achieved through establishing certain boundaries. Here are seven important boundaries that every marriage needs to ensure a healthy and respectful relationship.

1. Emotional Boundaries

One of the most crucial boundaries to set in a marriage is emotional ones. These are essential to protect your emotional health and maintain a sense of individuality. Emotional boundaries serve as an understanding between partners on how to handle each other's feelings.

Respect each other's feelings: It's vital to acknowledge that your partner's feelings are just as valid as yours. This means refraining from dismissing or invalidating their emotions, even if they differ from yours.

Allow space for individual emotions: Each person has the right to feel different emotions, even at the same situation or event. It's important not to impose your feelings on your partner.

Communicate openly about emotional needs: Transparency about emotional requirements allows both partners to understand what they need from each other.

Remember, setting emotional boundaries doesn't mean shutting off emotionally from your spouse; instead, it involves communicating openly about your feelings and respecting one another's emotional needs.

2. Physical Boundaries

Physical boundaries are not limited to issues of intimacy but also include personal space and comfort levels in various scenarios.

Personal Space: Every individual has their comfort levels when it comes to physical touch and personal space, which should be respected by the spouse.

Non-Sexual Touch: Non-sexual touch like holding hands, hugging etc., can be equally important as sexual intimacy in building connection.

Intimacy Level: Conversations about comfort levels regarding intimacy should be ongoing in any marriage.

3. Digital Boundaries

In the age of social media and constant digital connection, setting digital boundaries is also significant.

Privacy: Respecting each other's digital privacy is as important as physical privacy. For instance, it is inappropriate to read your partner's messages or emails without their consent.

Online Interaction: Discussing comfort levels for online interactions with others, the content shared and hours spent on digital platforms can prevent disagreements later.

4. Time Boundaries

Time is a precious commodity and how it's spent within a marriage is key to maintaining balance.

Individual Time: Each partner should have time to pursue their interests or simply be alone.

Couple Time: Set aside regular time for activities that you both enjoy.

5. Social Boundaries

Social boundaries refer to interactions with family, friends, colleagues and other social circles.

Family Interactions: It's important to negotiate how much time you spend with each partner's family.

Friendships: Both partners should have the freedom to maintain individual friendships while also respecting the relationship.

6. Financial Boundaries

Money can often become a contentious issue in marriages if not handled properly.

Budgeting: Regular discussions on budgeting and expenditure are crucial in managing financial stress in a marriage.

7. Environmental Boundaries

These include decisions about your shared environment like home organization or lifestyle choices such as choosing eco-friendly alternatives like bamboo straws.

Financial Boundaries in Marriage

One of the most common sources of conflict in marriages is finances. From differing views on spending to keeping secrets about personal debts, financial issues can create wedges in even the strongest relationships. Establishing clear financial boundaries is a vital part of maintaining a healthy marriage.

Open Communication About Finances

Couples should make it a habit to discuss their financial situation regularly. Such conversations might include income, debts, savings, and individual spending habits. Open communication about finances can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts later on.

Discuss your individual money philosophies and try to reach a mutual understanding.

Be honest about any debts or liabilities you may have.

Share your financial goals and work together to achieve them.

Joint Decision-Making on Major Purchases

Major purchases or investments should always be a joint decision. This boundary ensures that both parties feel valued and involved in the family's financial health.

Set an agreed-upon amount for what constitutes a "major purchase." This could be anything from $100 to $1000, depending on your financial situation.

Always consult each other before making such purchases.

Discuss potential investments together and agree on an investment strategy.

Separate or Joint Accounts

Decide whether you want to combine all your finances into joint accounts, keep everything separate, or have a mixture of both. There is no one-size-fits-all answer; it depends on your personal preferences and what works best for your relationship.

Consider having joint accounts for shared expenses such as rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries while having separate accounts for personal expenditure.

Having some level of financial autonomy can contribute positively to individual self-esteem and relationship harmony.

Budgeting Together

Creating a budget together helps ensure that everyone's needs are met within the constraints of what you can afford. It can also help prevent disagreements about money.

Sit down together and outline your income and expenses.

Prioritize spending based on your collective needs and wants.

Regularly review your budget to adjust for changes in income or expenditure.

Transparency About Financial History

All marriages are built on trust, which includes being honest about your financial history. If you have substantial debts or bad credit, it's important to let your partner know before these issues affect your joint finances.

Balancing Equality and Fairness

Ideally, both partners should contribute equally towards shared expenses. However, when there is a significant income disparity between partners, a fair approach may not be an equal one.

For instance, rather than splitting expenses 50/50, consider each contributing a percentage of their income.

Discuss and agree on what feels most comfortable and fair for you both.

Remember that communication is key in setting financial boundaries. Always keep an open mind and be ready to compromise when necessary. Incorporating the use of household items such as bamboo straws into your budgeting can also contribute to reducing costs while promoting sustainable living – more evidence that successful budgeting needs creative thinking too!

Breaking Strongholds: Overcoming Spiritual Barriers in Christ
In our Christian walk, we often encounter spiritual strongholds—deep-seated patterns of thinking, habits, or struggles that keep us from fully experiencing God’s power and freedom. These strongholds can be rooted in fear, pride, doubt, addiction, or past wounds, and they hinder our spiritual growth. But the good news is that through Christ, we have the power to break free.
What Are Strongholds?
The Bible speaks of strongholds as mental and spiritual fortresses that oppose God’s truth. In 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, Paul reminds us:
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God."
Strongholds can be lies we believe, unhealthy behaviors we repeat, or fears that keep us bound. They distort our perception of God, ourselves, and others.
Recognizing Strongholds in Our Lives
Some common strongholds include:
• Fear and Anxiety – Believing the lie that God won’t take care of us.
• Unforgiveness – Holding onto past hurts instead of releasing them to God.
• Addiction – Seeking comfort in substances, entertainment, or other distractions instead of Christ.
• Pride – Relying on our strength rather than surrendering to God’s will.
How to Tear Down Strongholds
1. Identify the Lies
Strongholds often begin with deception. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any lies that have taken root in your mind. Are you believing that you are unworthy of love? That God doesn’t hear your prayers? That you can’t change?
2. Replace Lies with God’s Truth
The Word of God is our weapon. In John 8:32, Jesus says, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Replace negative thoughts with God’s promises. Meditate on verses like Philippians 4:13 (“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”) and Romans 8:1 (“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”).
3. Pray and Declare Victory
Spiritual battles require spiritual weapons. Pray fervently, asking God to break every chain in your life. Declare His Word over your struggles.
4. Walk in Obedience
Breaking strongholds isn’t just about praying—it’s about action. If a stronghold is tied to sin, repent and turn from it. If it’s linked to fear, step out in faith.
5. Seek Accountability
Sometimes, strongholds are too big to tear down alone. Find a trusted mentor, pastor, or Christian friend who can pray with you and offer encouragement.
The Power of Freedom in Christ
When we surrender our strongholds to Jesus, He replaces bondage with freedom, despair with hope, and fear with peace. No stronghold is too big for God’s power. Through faith, prayer, and His Word, we can walk in the victory He has already won for us!
Are there any strongholds you need to break today? Bring them before the Lord, and let His truth set you free.
If you’re feeling unbalanced in any of these areas, I am here to help. Reach out today for a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation. (772-446-1922), or check out my website at https://caterpillarcounseling.webflow.io/therapy
Be blessed,
Dawn Taylor

In the nuanced journey of human life, our spiritual beliefs often serve as the bedrock of our existence, influencing our perspectives, decisions, and coping mechanisms. For many, Christian faith is a source of strength, hope, and guidance through life's tumultuous seas. Simultaneously, the field of counseling has established itself as a crucial mechanism for addressing and navigating mental health challenges. When these two powerful forces—Christian faith and counseling—intersect, they create a profound synergy that can offer holistic healing and growth. This blog post explores the burgeoning relationship between Christian faith and mental health practices and the transformative potential it holds.

A Confluence of Faith and Therapy

The integration of Christian faith with counseling practices is rooted in the understanding that human beings are not just physical entities requiring psychological insight but are also spiritual beings with deep-seated beliefs and values. This approach does not dilute the significance of therapeutic principles. Instead, it enriches the counseling process by incorporating an individual's faith into their healing journey.

Holistic Healing: Mind, Body, and Spirit

One of the primary tenets of incorporating Christian faith into counseling is the acknowledgment of the person as a holistic being. This perspective aligns with the Christian view of the human person, intricately composed of mind, body, and spirit, all of which interact and influence one another. Counseling that incorporates Christian faith seeks to address and nurture each of these components, offering a more comprehensive form of healing and growth.

The Power of Faith-Based Coping

Christian faith introduces unique coping mechanisms into the therapeutic process. Prayer, meditation on Scripture, and the cultivation of a personal relationship with God can offer profound comfort and guidance. These practices do not replace therapeutic techniques but complement them, providing individuals with additional resources for dealing with life’s challenges.

Community and Connection

Another significant aspect of combining Christian faith with counseling is the emphasis on community. The Christian doctrine places a strong emphasis on fellowship and support among believers. This principle extends naturally into the counseling process, encouraging individuals to seek and offer support within their faith communities. This not only amplifies their support network but also reinforces the interconnectedness between personal healing and communal well-being.

Ethical Considerations and Client-Centric Approach

The intersection of Christian faith and counseling requires navigating with sensitivity and respect. It demands that counselors, whether they share the client's faith or not, approach each case with an open mind and a clear understanding of ethical boundaries. The goal is to support the client’s faith journey in a way that respects their belief system without imposing the counselor's own beliefs. Ensuring that the integration of faith is client-driven—aligned with their needs, consent, and comfort level—is paramount.

The Challenges Ahead

While the integration of Christian faith and counseling opens new vistas for healing, it also presents challenges. These include navigating the diverse expressions of Christian faith, respecting differing theological viewpoints, and continually balancing professional and spiritual insights. Ongoing education, both in theology and psychology, is essential for counselors walking this path, ensuring they are equipped to provide ethical, respectful, and effective support.

Empirical Support and Future Directions

Emerging research supports the efficacy of integrating Christian faith into counseling, highlighting improvements in emotional well-being, resilience, and personal growth. As this field grows, so does the need for a broader dialogue between mental health professionals and faith leaders, fostering mutual understanding and collaboration that can enhance the support provided to individuals navigating mental health challenges.

Conclusion: A Journey of Faith and Healing

The intersection of Christian faith and counseling represents a promising frontier in the pursuit of holistic healing. It acknowledges the complex, multifaceted nature of human existence, offering an approach that nurtures the mind, body, and spirit. For individuals rooted in Christian faith, this integration offers a path that aligns with their deepest values, encouraging healing and growth that resonates with their spiritual journey.

As we continue to explore this intersection, we embrace not only the potential for profound personal transformation but also the opportunity to deepen our collective understanding of what it means to live well. In grounding counseling practices in the rich soil of Christian faith, we open the door to a form of healing that is both deeply personal and expansively communal, offering hope and renewal to those on the journey toward wholeness.

When healing from addiction or betrayal trauma feels impossible, God makes a way. This Bible study, 'A Way Where There Seems to Be No Way,' offers scriptural encouragement and practical reflection for those struggling with sexual addiction or the pain of betrayal. Designed for individuals and couples, this resource provides guided questions, biblical wisdom, and hope-filled insights to help navigate the journey of recovery with faith. Perfect for counselors, churches, and support groups looking for a Christ-centered approach to healing. New bible studies/reflections are posted weekly on Landmark Christian Counseling's website.

Acorn clinicians provide high quality, trauma informed care for adults, families, and children. What is trauma informed counseling? It means our clinicians have advanced education and supervision to address the yucky things that have happened to you and your family.

Dr Pam provides Safe and Sound protocol which enhances feelings of safety at home and in session. Christy provides EMDR treatment which helps to decrease the distress caused by the negative experiences.

Learn more about each modality by clicking on the pictures!

#traumainformedtreatment #therapy #adulttherapy #childtherapy #emdr #safeandsoundprotocol #ssp
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XFs5zQ3A_EVDFusYS3PPwd8T6vIjwiUX/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IG4Pl6872JsQmGNSvFwqG_YdM0GGuxBB/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-84KGGhXLCwazy8u1gt_nlaW8skn_CpU/view?usp=sharing

Are You or Someone You Know Contentious? Here's 21 Ways To Check

1) Contentiousness defined: Words like feisty, anxious, testing, grouchy, critical, perfectionistic, blaming, shaming, hostile, opinionated, quarrelsome, argumentative, and nagging all help to describe this problem.

2) People who struggle with this issue may have a lot of anxiety as both children and adults.

3) Contentious people usually repel others, and this may come from an unconscious fear of closeness, vulnerability, and or inferiority.

4) Sometimes, contentious people major in the minors, starting fights over minor points of fact, doctrine, opinions, or other people’s behavior.

5) Blaming is a big symptom in contentious people. This is usually a result of feeling lonely and unsuccessful as well as having so much hurt, shame, anxiety, or anger at themselves on board that it spills over onto others.

6) Some women will frequently express anger through contentiousness: Some men do, too, but may either act out angrily, act out sexually, or act passive-aggressively.

7) Contentious people believe, at a deep level, that others are responsible for their lives, happiness, and or emotions.

8) Believing that they are unloved or loveable, contentious people think they must test others, especially those close to them, to ensure they won’t leave, get too close, or somehow fail to love them.

9) A contentious person is much more likely to live by anxiety, shame, fear, or hate than by faith, love, grace, and truth.

10) In reality, a contentious person’s hate, blame, criticism, and testing are really about how they see themselves, not others.

11) Acting contentious is a way of testing other people to see if the contentious person is loved.

12) Self-hate or shame is a common companion for contentious people.

13) Some contentious people experience difficult attachment at an early age and have symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and Histrionic Personality Disorder.

14) Adult Children of Addicts and Co-Addicts will frequently display contentious behavior to cope with their sense of inferiority, shame, anxiety, and feeling out of control.

15) Contentious people do not set real boundaries and limits. If they set limits, they are designed to change other people rather than designed to protect themselves.

16) One-up, One-Down relationships are a frequent position contentious people take. They try to play the blaming parent, the wiser parent, the smart teacher, or other authority figure when, in reality, they are the helpless little child inside. They will sometimes go into the one-down position and play the victim.

17) Contentious people will frequently find irresponsible people to mate or work with because, many times, unconsciously, they are afraid of losing control. Sometimes, they will find super-responsible people to make up for their irresponsibility.

18) People who live with contentious people will eventually pull away or retreat in some fashion. “It is better to live in the corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” – Proverbs 21:10. "As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife – Proverbs 26:21

19) Defending yourself against a contentious person is essentially useless. Nuclear submariners talk about “Time, Distance, and Shielding” when dealing with protection from toxic materials. Solomon talks about toxicity this way: “A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike. He who would restrain her restrains the wind and grasps oil with his right hand.” Proverbs 27:15

20) Listening to feelings and avoiding defending oneself for as long as possible is the best way to deal with contentiousness. Telling the person you will distance yourself when they are contentious and then doing it with the support of others can also help. It is important to remember that boundary setting is about you, not about changing the other person. Do not create walls. Create boundaries that keep you sane.

21) Allowing natural consequences for out-of-control anger and contentiousness can also help: “Do not rescue a man given to anger, for you only have to do it again. "Proverbs 19:19

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is one of the best ways to deal with attachment as well as ACA issues. Joining a group that deals with emotional hurts and toxicity can be very helpful.

It's a quiet struggle, often hidden behind half-smiles and hollow greetings — depression. The whispers of this unseen burden travel far beyond the confines of our minds, infiltrating every part of our being, including our physical health. As Christians, we stand on the promises of God to guide us through the shadowy valleys, yet we sometimes wonder, can depression indeed make us sick? This is a question that beckons for understanding, compassion, and the wisdom of the Lord.

The Weight of Depression

The Psalmist writes in Psalms 42:11, "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?" These words echo across time, resonating with many who suffer in silence. Modern research confirms that the impact of depression can transcend mental anguish to manifest in physical ailments. The mind and body are intricately woven together by God's design, and when the spirit is heavy with sorrow, the body may also bear the burden.

The Physical Symptomatology of Depression

Proverbs 17:22 tells us, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Indeed, a spirit oppressed by depression can lead to a host of physical symptoms that compound our daily challenges. Digestive issues, headaches, chronic pain, and even heart disease have been linked to long-term depression. The stress hormones released during depressive episodes can suppress the immune system, making the body more susceptible to infections and illnesses.

Embracing God’s Promise of Healing

In the midst of this, it is vital to remember the promises God makes to us. Jeremiah 17:14 pleads, "Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise." As Christians, we acknowledge that we are not immune to suffering, but we are reassured that the Lord stands with us in our darkest moments. In seeking treatment for depression, we are not exhibiting a lack of faith; rather, we are taking concrete steps towards the healing that God desires for us.

Seeking Help as a Step of Faith

James 5:14-15 encourages us, "Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up." We can take these verses both literally and figuratively. It is both a call to seek God's direct intervention and an encouragement to reach out for help within the body of Christ, which can include the assistance of medical professionals. Utilizing therapy, medication, or counseling alongside prayer and spiritual support can be a holistic approach to tackling the symptoms of depression.

Lifestyle Changes Inspired by Scripture

Adopting a healthier lifestyle can be one approach to mitigating the physical effects of depression. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, we are reminded that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Ensuring adequate rest, nutrition, and exercise not only honors this temple but can also improve mood and reduce stress. Balancing our lifestyle with time for meditation on God's word, fellowship with believers, and personal rest can lead to a stronger, healthier state of being.

Community and Connection

Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." By sharing our struggles with trusted members of our congregation or support groups, we can alleviate the weight of depression. The understanding, companionship, and shared prayers can be a balm for both the soul and the body.

An Ever-Present Hope

As we navigate the ebbs and flows of mental health, let us not lose sight of our ever-present hope in Christ. Romans 15:13 blesses us with this assurance, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Our faith informs us that with God, there is always a path through the wilderness of depression, a path that leads to restoration and health.

Enduring Through Faith

To our brothers and sisters in Christ who wonder if depression can make you sick, the answer is yes — but this is not the end of your story. With faith as our cornerstone and our belief in a God who restores, we find the strength to seek healing in all its forms. Remember, you are never walking alone; through the darkest valley, His rod and His staff, they comfort us. Together, let us strive forward in faith, affirming that our God is greater than any affliction, and in Him, we find the ultimate comfort and cure. Amen.

Christian Counselor, Clifton Fuller, recently published his second book about the narcissistic personality which is available on Amazon. It's entitled, "The Narcissist: When Dreams Become Nightmares." It discusses the deception of an NPD, the conmen they are, and how to recognize their warning signs. From 'closet narcissists' to 'malignant' (dangerous) narcissists, their behaviors must be honestly observed for our own protection.

Whereas Fuller's first book ("The Marriage Vampire") was written for Christian women and has many scriptures that warn Christians about narcissism, the second book takes a more clinical approach, sharing the different types of NPDs and why we must approach them in very different ways.

Find out more by visiting https://www.cliftonfuller.com/books and other publications by FullerPublishing.com

Victory Over The Enemy
February 2, 2012 by ritabowman

Psalm 18:1-3

1. I will love thee, O LORD, my strength.
2. The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength,
in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.
3. I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised:
so shall I be saved from mine enemies.”

God wants us to be mature and free. We can trust God and depend on His promises. “I will deliver you from the hand of the wicked, and I will redeem you from the grip of the terrible.” Jeremiah 15:21

Step One:
Before we can have victory over an enemy, we must first identify the true enemy. It is difficult for an immature Christian to recognize the enemy in day to day life situations. God compares our spiritual maturity with physical maturity so we can understand.

Just as children mature in stages, so do we as Christians. Just as new born babies cannot eat or digest solid food, sit up, turn over, crawl, walk, talk, etc., every stage of development occurs as an infant matures. As the body matures, their abilities increase until one day the infant becomes a toddler who is able to interact with his/her world on a completely different level than he/she was as an infant. Then “suddenly” this child is no longer a toddler, the child is now able to meet more challenges of development with a little more maturity, but still not wise enough to make important decisions. They still need parents to provide, care for and protect them.

God compares our immature state as a Christian, to young children, lacking wisdom to make good decisions, easily influenced by others and unable to recognize the spiritual battle before us.
In this immature state we don’t always see the enemy’s role, and understand his attacks in life’s problems and day to day situations. This lack of understanding causes pain, confusion and many times some just “give up”, which leads to other spiritual problems for a Christian. You know – the domino effect, one problem (ignored or unsolved leads to another problem, which leads to another and so on).

God wants us to grow up in our knowledge of Him, be mature Christians and “No longer children, being tossed to and fro.” (easily influenced)

Ephesians 4:13-15
13 “Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
14That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;
15But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

Step Two Spiritual Warfare: Who is the Enemy? With whom do we wrestle in the following verses?

In 2 Corinthians 10:3-5
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh: For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty in God for the pulling down of strong holds; Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ”.

Ephesians.6:12 “ We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

Step Three - God has given us a foundation which provides protection and deliverance from satan and his fallen angels. [Ephesians 6:13-18]

Put on the whole Armor of God!
Helmet of Salvation
Breastplate of Righteousness
Belt of Truth buckled around your waist
Shield of Faith
Sword of the Spirit (Word of God)
Shoes of the gospel of peace

What examples can you give of how satan opposes us and is committed to doing everything within his power to keep us from realizing “who we are and what we have” in Christ. (Eph. 6:12)

Step Five- Galatians 5:1tells us to “Stand Fast” in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”

As long as Satan can confuse us and blind us with his lies we cannot see that those chains have been broken. We are FREE in Christ, but if Satan can deceive us into believing we are not free, we won’t experience the freedom we have inherited through Christ Jesus.

God Bless you in your travels today. Remember, We are on this Journey together, and will continue to be until HE comes. Then we will have reached our final destination and will be HOME in Heaven with our precious SAVIOR for eternity.
By God’s Grace
Rita Bowman

Hey mama, does the idea of making one more decision make you want to crawl back under the covers? The nonstop choices we have to make—big ones, small ones, and the endless in-between—can leave us feeling like our minds have simply checked out. And it’s no wonder. Between managing the house, caring for kids, and keeping up with everyone’s needs, it’s as if our mental energy gets zapped from morning to night.

If you’re feeling this way, it’s not because you’re doing anything wrong. It’s because motherhood is hard, and the pressure to make endless decisions, often perfectly, is exhausting. So let’s talk about what mom decision fatigue is, why it hits us so hard, and how we can take that mental load down a notch.

P.S. If you’re new here, you might be wondering, who is this person acting like they know? Hi, it’s me—mom of four, and I’ve been through it all, from mental overload to the bone-deep exhaustion. I’ve had my share of days where I just wanted to pause all the “what’s next” questions. So trust me, I get it, and I’m here to help you find some calm in the chaos. Let’s dive in.

What Is Mom Decision Fatigue?
Mom decision fatigue is what happens when you feel like you’re running on empty from making decision after decision. It’s that “I just can’t decide” feeling, even about simple stuff, because your brain is done with thinking. And while all moms experience some level of mental exhaustion, decision fatigue becomes real when you’re juggling everyone’s needs and constantly making calls on things like what’s for dinner, scheduling, and yes, even big life choices.

The Weight of Constant Choices
Motherhood is a marathon of choices. When we’re not deciding what to cook or whether we should sign up for the latest after-school activity, we’re juggling our own work, the household, and our relationships. All that deciding can lead to overwhelm and burnout, making even simple choices seem impossible.

If your mental load feels like it’s weighing you down, you’re not alone. And if you’re struggling with that nagging need to get it just right, check out The Pressure to Be the Perfect Mom: How to Embrace Being Good Enough for tips on releasing that perfectionism.

Signs You’re Dealing with Decision Fatigue
How do you know if you’re caught in the cycle of decision fatigue? Here are a few tell-tale signs that your mental energy may be running low:

Procrastination on Small Choices
When you’re so drained that even tiny decisions feel monumental, it’s a strong sign you’re dealing with decision fatigue. Suddenly, picking a show to watch, deciding on a snack, or choosing what to make for dinner becomes exhausting. These small choices usually require minimal effort, but when you’re burnt out, even thinking about them can feel like one choice too many. You’re not being lazy or indecisive—it’s just your brain asking for a break.

Feeling Overwhelmed by Simple Tasks
Tasks that used to be quick and easy now seem like a mountain to climb. Folding laundry, prepping school lunches, or tackling a basic errand may feel like it requires way more energy than you can give. It’s like each task holds a hidden weight, and rather than taking action, your brain hits pause. Sound familiar? You’re not alone—decision fatigue makes even the smallest tasks feel like big asks because your mental reserves are running on empty.

Irritability and Emotional Exhaustion
Ever notice yourself snapping over something minor or feeling waves of frustration out of nowhere? When your mental bandwidth is maxed out, it often shows up in your emotions. Little things that wouldn’t normally bother you become the tipping point, and you may find yourself more emotional, irritable, or just worn out. It’s as if your tolerance for stress shrinks, and it’s not your fault—it’s your brain’s way of saying, “I’ve had enough!”

Avoidance or Decision Paralysis
Sometimes, decision fatigue shows up as avoidance or an overwhelming feeling of paralysis. You might find yourself putting off decisions that need to be made—like booking appointments, handling emails, or even making a simple phone call. It’s not that you don’t know what to do, but that your mind is so worn out it can’t handle another choice right now. Instead, you might avoid the decision entirely, hoping it’ll become easier tomorrow (spoiler alert: it usually doesn’t).

If these signs feel all too familiar, know that you’re not alone. Decision fatigue is part of the “too much” that comes with modern motherhood, and it doesn’t mean you’re failing or that something is wrong with you. It just means you’re human, doing the best you can. The good news is, there are ways to ease this load and reclaim some much-needed mental space.

How to Ease Mom Decision Fatigue
Let’s talk solutions, because while it may not be possible to skip the decision-making, we can definitely make it easier. These strategies will help lighten the mental load, freeing up space for you to breathe and actually enjoy the moments that matter.

1. Simplify Your Routines to Remove Unnecessary Choices
Routines can be a sanity saver for moms. When you know what’s coming and don’t have to decide in the moment, your mind gets a little break. Mornings are a perfect example—if you can create a flow that feels good, you’ll find that “what’s next” doesn’t seem so hard to tackle.

Simplify Your Mornings
Building a simple morning routine can be life-changing, especially when you’re burnt out. And don’t worry; it doesn’t have to be a strict, all-or-nothing process. Just having a few key things in place can make mornings feel less chaotic. For more on creating an approachable morning routine, check out How to Create a Simple Morning Routine That Works for Burnt-Out Moms.

2. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Mental Space
Saying “no” can feel hard—especially when it’s to something you think you “should” do. But boundaries are the real MVP when it comes to lightening your load. The truth? You don’t have to make every decision or do it all. Setting boundaries lets you focus on what actually matters, which can help calm your mind.

Practice Saying No Without Guilt
Start small by practicing saying no to things that drain you. If an extra activity or commitment feels like too much, let it go. Creating space isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Need a guide on saying no? How to Set Boundaries and Find Peace: A Guide to Saying No Politely and Maintaining Healthy Relationships has practical ways to start.

3. Use Simple Systems to Cut Down on Choices
No need to dive into elaborate organization methods here; small, simple systems can ease the choice overload without adding complexity to your life. Think about the areas that usually trip you up—like meals or getting out the door. Then put a small system in place to remove some of those micro-decisions.

Meal Planning (Without the Overwhelm): Even a rough meal plan for the week can save you daily decisions on what to eat. Nothing fancy needed—just jot down a few go-to meals.

Clothing Choices: Set out your outfit the night before, or pick one for each day at the start of the week. Every decision you remove frees up a little more mental space.

4. Let Go of “Perfect” and Trust Yourself
When every decision feels monumental, it’s often because we’re putting too much pressure on ourselves. It’s okay to choose “good enough.” Embrace imperfection and know that every decision doesn’t have to be the “best” one.

It might be helpful to think of each choice as an experiment instead of a definitive answer. This mindset shift can make decisions feel less loaded and more like learning moments.

Finding Energy and Peace Amidst Decision Fatigue
When decision fatigue hits hard, self-care is one of the best ways to refuel. Give yourself permission to step away from the constant mental load, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Take a breather, journal, or just close your eyes and sit in quiet. Even small pauses can make a difference.

And if you’re looking to add more small moments of joy and self-connection, try exploring What Are Glimmers? Small Moments of Joy to Lighten Your Day as a Mom to find ways to reclaim little pockets of happiness amidst the daily hustle.

Ready to Ditch Decision Fatigue and Simplify Your Mental Load?
If you’re feeling worn out by the constant decision-making, know this: you don’t have to keep doing it all alone. Decision fatigue is real, and the mental load of motherhood can feel heavy. But there are ways to make it lighter and bring back some ease to your daily life. Let’s recap the key takeaways from today:

Recognize the Signs: When small choices feel monumental, when simple tasks feel like too much, or when irritability sneaks in, it’s time to give yourself grace and acknowledge that decision fatigue is playing a role.

Simplify Routines and Choices: Creating streamlined routines around meals, mornings, and daily tasks takes some of the thinking off your plate and gives you breathing room.

Set Boundaries to Protect Your Energy: Saying “no” or creating space around things that drain you can help lighten the mental load and preserve your energy for what really matters.

Embrace Imperfection: Let go of the pressure to make perfect choices. Choosing “good enough” can be a freeing and powerful way to reduce decision-making stress.

But here’s the thing: knowing these strategies is one thing; putting them into practice is another. That’s where coaching comes in.

If you’re ready to turn these insights into real, lasting changes, I’m here to help…
If you’re finding yourself exhausted by the constant mental juggling act of motherhood, you’re not alone. As a mom of four and someone who’s walked this path, I know just how heavy the daily decisions can feel, from small choices to the big ones. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, wondering if you’re doing enough or if you’re handling things “right.” But here’s a bit of relief: motherhood doesn’t have to mean carrying every choice and task alone, and it definitely doesn’t have to mean perfection.

That’s why I became a mom life coach. In our sessions, I work with moms like you to lighten that mental load, let go of the “shoulds,” and find an approach to daily life that feels supportive, realistic, and just right for you. If you’re ready to feel more calm, more present, and more in tune with what matters most, we’ll tackle it together with practical, down-to-earth strategies that work with your unique life.

In our sessions, we’ll go beyond the basics to get at the heart of what’s causing your decision fatigue. Together, we’ll work on practical, personalized strategies tailored to your unique life and goals, so that you can free up more mental energy, gain clarity, and find a rhythm that truly feels manageable. Here’s how we can tackle decision fatigue together:

Create Custom Routines That Work for You: We’ll look at your daily patterns and build routines that make your life easier—not more rigid. Imagine a morning routine that feels calming, or a simplified meal plan that doesn’t require daily decision-making.

Learn Boundaries and Time-Saving Techniques: We’ll work on learning to say “no” without guilt, identifying time-wasting traps, and creating boundaries around your mental space. Together, we’ll create “buffer” times for decompression that feel doable and nourishing.

Develop Realistic Self-Care Habits for Recharging: Forget the all-or-nothing self-care approach. We’ll find ways for you to recharge in small, realistic ways that fit into your daily life, even with a full schedule and family needs to juggle.

Reframe and Let Go of Perfectionism: If fear of making the wrong choice is fueling your fatigue, we’ll work on releasing that pressure. We’ll build your confidence to make choices that feel right without the weight of “getting it perfect.”

You deserve to feel more present, less stressed, and more at ease in the choices you make each day. If you’re ready to step into a version of motherhood that feels lighter and more aligned with what you truly need, let’s work together to make it happen.

Imagine what it would be like to wake up feeling a bit more energized, knowing you have a toolkit that helps you face the day with more peace and less overwhelm. Ready to find that balance? I’d love to support you on this journey.

Here’s to simplifying, reclaiming your headspace, and finding joy in the little moments. Let’s connect and get started.

-Kelly Mynatt, MA, BCBA, Mom Life Coach

Hey Mama, Feeling Like You’ve Lost Yourself? You’re Not Alone

Let’s be real—becoming a mom changes everything. Suddenly, your entire world revolves around making sure everyone else is taken care of, and somewhere in the middle of that, you’ve probably lost touch with yourself. It’s like you woke up one day and realized, “Wait...who am I beyond all the diapers, school runs, and snack requests?”

If you’ve ever caught yourself feeling like you’ve disappeared into the role of “mom,” know this: you’re not alone, and it doesn’t have to stay that way. There’s a way to rediscover who you are, find joy in the things you love, and feel more like you again. Ready to start? Let’s dig in together.

Why Feeling Lost as a Mom Is Totally Normal

Let’s just say it—motherhood is intense. The moment you become a mom, life changes in ways you can’t really prepare for. Suddenly, your time, energy, and focus are all directed toward caring for someone else. You’re managing nap schedules, grocery lists, school pickups, and all the things—and somewhere in the middle of that chaos, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are beyond the “mom” role.

But here’s the thing: you’re not the first mom to feel this way, and you certainly won’t be the last. So, if you’re feeling like you’ve lost a little (or a lot) of yourself since having kids, know this: it’s completely normal.

The Mental Load of Motherhood Is Real

One of the big reasons moms feel lost is because of what we call the “mental load.” You know, the invisible list of everything you’re responsible for? From remembering your kid’s favorite snacks to keeping track of doctor’s appointments, school events, and making sure everyone has clean clothes—it’s a lot. And when you’re constantly juggling this mental checklist, it’s easy for your own needs and identity to get lost in the shuffle.

And let’s not forget the pressure. Society has created this ideal of the “perfect mom”—the one who manages to do it all without breaking a sweat. But trying to live up to that image is exhausting and unrealistic. The reality is, motherhood is messy, and it’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out.

You’re Evolving, Not Losing Yourself

Another thing to remember is that motherhood doesn’t erase who you are—it just adds new layers to your identity. The person you were before kids is still in there, but now, you’ve evolved into someone who’s balancing a lot more. You’ve learned how to care for others in ways you probably never imagined, and that’s something to be proud of. However, it’s also important to make sure that “mom” isn’t the only part of your identity.

You’re still a person with dreams, interests, and passions outside of raising your kids. And while those things might get buried sometimes, they don’t disappear. The goal isn’t to go back to who you were before kids—it’s about rediscovering who you are now, with all the wisdom and experience you’ve gained as a mom.

It’s Okay to Miss “You”

It’s also completely okay to miss your old life sometimes. Missing your pre-kid freedom, your hobbies, or even just having time to sit down and think doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you human. In fact, it’s a sign that you need to reconnect with yourself, which is exactly what this journey is all about.

Feeling lost after becoming a mom is a normal part of the transition into this new chapter of your life. The key is giving yourself permission to take up space again—to find the balance between being a great mom and being the you that you miss.

How Motherhood Shifts Your Identity—And Why It’s Okay

From “Who I Was” to “Who I Am Now”

When you become a mom, life changes in ways that no one can really prepare you for. Suddenly, you go from having your own routines, goals, and interests to being completely immersed in your kids’ lives. It’s no wonder you sometimes feel like the old you has been replaced by...well, someone who hasn’t had a hot cup of coffee in years!

But here’s the good news: just because you’re a mom now doesn’t mean you’ve lost the person you were before. In fact, she’s still in there—she just might be a little buried under the chaos (and maybe some Goldfish crackers). The trick is learning how to dig her out.

Reconnect with What Brings You Joy—Even If It’s Just for 10 Minutes

Remember What Made You Feel Like You Before Kids?
Think back to the days before your life revolved around nap schedules and dishes. What did you love doing? Reading? Painting? Dancing like no one was watching? Whatever it was, it made you feel like you, and that’s exactly what we need to tap back into.

Bringing That Joy Back—No Matter How Busy Life Gets

Now, I know what you’re thinking—“Who has time for that anymore?” But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to be a huge time commitment. You don’t need a whole day to yourself (though wouldn’t that be amazing?). Even carving out 10 minutes can make a difference. Love reading? Start with a chapter at night. Miss getting creative? Grab some markers and doodle while the kids are coloring. It’s about taking those small steps to reignite the things that make you feel like you again.

Set Boundaries—And No, You Don’t Need to Feel Guilty About It

Why Boundaries Are a Mom’s Best Friend
Here’s a little secret: you don’t have to do it all. Seriously. Part of reclaiming your identity is learning how to protect your time and energy, which means saying no sometimes. And before you feel guilty about it—let me tell you, it’s not selfish. It’s necessary.

How to Start Setting Small, Guilt-Free Boundaries

Boundaries don’t have to be big, dramatic lines in the sand. Start small—like carving out 20 minutes of quiet time in the evening or telling your partner you need an hour on Saturday morning to recharge. The more you practice, the easier it gets. Trust me, once you start saying “no” to the things that drain you, you’ll have so much more room for the things that lift you up.

Make Time for Self-Reflection—You Deserve It

Why Checking In with Yourself Is Key to Finding You Again
It’s hard to rediscover who you are if you never give yourself a minute to think about it. Taking time for self-reflection isn’t just a luxury; it’s a way to figure out what you actually need and want. So grab a cup of tea (or wine, no judgment), and ask yourself: What’s been missing from my life? What would make me feel more like me again?

Easy Ways to Build Self-Reflection Into Your Day

Self-reflection doesn’t mean you need to journal for hours (unless that’s your thing!). It can be as simple as taking 5 minutes before bed to jot down your thoughts, or just having a quiet moment in the shower (those shower thoughts are magic, aren’t they?). The more you check in with yourself, the clearer your path to reclaiming your identity will become.

Key Takeaways for Moms Ready to Rediscover Their Identity

Feeling lost is normal: Motherhood changes you, but it doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself.

Reconnect with joy: Start bringing small moments of happiness back into your routine, even if it’s just for 10 minutes.

Set boundaries: Protect your time and energy without guilt. You deserve space for yourself.

Self-reflection matters: Take time to check in with yourself and rediscover what lights you up.

Ready to Reclaim Your Identity?
If you’re feeling lost in the chaos of motherhood, I’m here to help.

Together, we’ll work on practical steps to reconnect with who you are beyond the role of “mom” and create space for the things that light you up.

It’s time to rediscover you—connect with me and let’s see what we can do together!

~Kelly, MA, BCBA, Mom Life Coach