Christian Counselor Directory Blog

Many believers seek Christian counseling not because they’ve lost faith, but because they’re holding onto it by a thread.

Maybe that’s you—tired, confused, anxious, overwhelmed… wondering why the peace promised in Scripture feels so far away.

Let me say this gently: you are not weak for needing help. You're human—and deeply loved by God.

At God’s Best Christian Therapy (GBCT), we walk with people navigating:

* Anxiety that prayer hasn’t silenced
* Depression that makes worship feel empty
* Marriage and family tension that hurts deeper because you care deeply
* Sexual or relational brokenness carried in silence
* Life transitions, grief, or burnout that cloud your sense of purpose

We use Biblical Cognitive Behavioral Therapy—a Christ-centered approach that helps clients identify and reshape thought patterns through both clinical tools and Scriptural truth. It's not just about managing symptoms—it's about healing from the inside out, guided by God's Word.

What we want you to know is this:

* God sees you (Genesis 16:13)
* Your feelings aren’t failures—they're signals
* You don’t have to choose between faith and therapy. You can pursue both in grace.

If you're considering counseling, know you're not alone—and the first step doesn't have to be scary. You’re invited to reach out for a 15–20 minute consultation at no cost, just to see if this is the right next step for you.

*“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

Post by Jillian Meher, LPC

Dealing with people who engage in manipulative behavior can be extremely difficult. The interaction can leave you feeling guilty, angry, frustrated, and stuck. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re being manipulated until after the fact!

Here are a few common manipulation tactics and how to respond to them appropriately and assertively.

-A question disguised as a statement

Manipulation is all about remaining in control. Asking a question could mean a loss of control if the answer is not what the manipulative person wants to hear. So, people who are manipulative don’t like asking direct questions.

To avoid asking questions, manipulative people sometimes disguise questions as statements. This might sound like, “I’m wondering why you didn’t stop by yesterday,” “I wish you would do the laundry once in a while,” or “I suppose you’re not going to invite me.”

How to respond:

Train your ear to recognize the difference between actual questions and statements. Only answer questions! Repeat the last few words of the statement back to the person in the form of a question. For example, if they say, “I suppose you’re too busy to help me clean out the garage next weekend,” your response can be, “Are you asking me to help you clean out your garage next weekend?” This will give you the opportunity to then say either yes or no.

-Making a personal statement and pretending it’s someone else’s

Again, this tactic is an effort not to lose control in the conversation. By attributing a statement to someone else, the manipulative person can avoid taking responsibility for their opinion. For example, “Everyone thinks you should move closer to us,” or “They said you would be better off going to community college.”

How to respond:

Ask, “Who is everyone?” or “Who are they?” You can also ask the manipulator to take responsibility for their own opinion by asking, “What do you think?” or “What is your point of view?”

-The silent treatment

In order to remain in or regain control, manipulative people might stop talking to you entirely. This is likely an effort to see how long it is before you crack!

How to respond:

Put the ball in the manipulator’s court by saying, “Let me know when you’re ready to talk,” and leave it at that. If you “crack” by begging them to talk to you or giving in to their demands, the manipulative person will use this tactic with you over and over again.

Dealing with manipulative people can be very tricky and draining. But if you stick to your boundaries and respond assertively to their tactics, your confidence in interacting with manipulative people will grow in no time.

Some people believe that fathers don't really contribute that much to a child's rearing. This is a large myth and research backs up the importance of father in a child's life. In this first part I will talk about how dad contributes to the child's development. In our second part I will talk about the stages of development and fatherhood and how that relates to leadership with staff as they develop.

The Father’s Contribution during Early Childhood
Be a back up to Mom.
Be involved with the child so that she can form a bonded relationship with someone other than Mom.
Be available to the child so that he can move away from Mom and establish himself as a separate person. At around four years, start taking the child out of orbit around Mom.
Provide an outlet for the child’s anger and frustration with Mom.
Lay the groundwork for development of the child’s sexual identity.
Be a source of safety and security.
Lay a foundation for interaction in future years.
Provide a parenting model for the child.


The Father’s Contribution during the Elementary School Years

Encourage the child to see herself as a productive individual.
Help the child develop competence in a variety of skill areas.
Foster healthy self-confidence in the child.
Help the child learn to contain and control his personality and emotions, especially anger.
Provide a safe environment for exploration and for learning both cognitive and social skills.
By active leadership in the family, free the child to be a child.
Clarify sexual identity for the child. Model what a son is to become and what a daughter is not to become.
Provide a parenting model for the child.


The Father’s Contribution during Adolescence

Teach the child how to relate triadically (to two other people at the same time).
Be a source of competition and modeling for a son as he grows toward manhood.
Affirm a daughter’s femininity and her growth toward womanhood.
Be available to resolve any leftover issues from the earlier stages of development.
Make his inner strength and stability available to the child, providing a counterbalance to the roller coaster of adolescence.
Model a good marriage relationship.
Present a unified authority with the mother to prevent the child from “splitting.”
Provide a blessing as the child moves into adulthood.
Provide a parenting model for the child. Provide mentoring.



Father Influence and Leadership


The Nurturing Leader; This is a leader who has new people that are training and learning the job while he sets limits with them. He also helps them with grace and care to learn the actual tasks of the job as well as the relationships involved


The Lawgiver Leader: This is the leader who sets down rules and expectations as well as defining jobs and helping the more permanent or problematic employee get on the right path. Having already provided bonding and connection this leader has the freedom to set boundaries with staff.


The Warrior-Protector Leader: Helping staff by fighting for them and against things that are problematic is very much a part of this leaders job. This leader also encourages and promotes initiative and the proper use of power in the work situation.


See Making Peace With Your Father by David Stoop, PhD

Post by Janet Henry, MA, LAC

Imagine yourself having to give a presentation at work, you stayed up most of the night rehearsing what you’re going to say. You have been preparing for weeks, and you hope to receive that job well done from your boss finally. You’re standing outside the door and peer in, seeing all the faces in the room in anticipation of what’s about to be presented, and you start feeling something. You start sweating, feel your heart racing a little faster, and are hit with a sudden bout of fear! What is going on right now, you think to yourself, I know this information inside and out?! Performance Anxiety may cause this…

What is Performance Anxiety?
It is an excessive worry or fear that can affect your ability to perform a given task, whether personal or professional, that may drum up physical symptoms and emotional distress. A type of anxiety that may present itself in anticipation of or during performing something like a work task (like a speech), a sports competition, or even a musical performance, similar to stage fright. It can also stem from not meeting self-imposed or external expectations, being judged by others, or familial pressures.

Common Symptoms of Performance Anxiety

-Intense nervousness

-Fear

-Worry about not meeting expectations (self or others) and/or failure

-Shaky voice, sweating, trembling, or a rapid heartbeat

-Dry mouth, nausea, dizziness, blurry vision

These symptoms can meaningfully affect one’s ability to perform, leading to either avoidance of the situation that may trigger anxiety or even leading to panic attacks. Some examples can be public speaking, test anxiety, stage fright, or sexual performance anxiety. While most people may just experience mild nervousness, others may have incapacitating anxiety that may hinder them from pursuing their passions, goals, and the purpose God has created us for.

Possible Causes of Performance Anxiety

-People-pleasing behaviors: fear that you may fail to meet others’ expectations in a particular situation, which leads to performance anxiety

-Family stressors: can lead to anxious thoughts/feelings, primarily if seeking approval from family members and establishing self-worth

-Self-doubt: can affect someone who may not be confident in their ability to meet societal standards, which can result in a self-fulfilling prophecy

-Past trials: negative experiences or reactions in past instances where you did try but it was received with criticism from others

-Social anxiety: you may get overwhelmed in social settings (office meeting/party/ church events) or completing a task before others

Coping Tools to Treat Performance Anxiety

-Breathing exercises: when you start to experience those common symptoms, just breathe! To help you calm down, your brain needs oxygen. Breathe in through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth, but go slow: inhale for 4 seconds, pause for another 4 seconds, and exhale slowly for 6 seconds. Do this for about 3-5 minutes.

-Try shaking it off: literally move your body around to help release some of that tension, hop around, flail your arms, move your head left to right

-Exercise: when you exercise, it releases endorphins, which help to override your stress response (a jog or walk).

-Meditation: It helps you to focus on the present, incorporates breathwork, and helps to ground yourself. Yes, your mind may wander but try to focus more intently on your body and breaths. We suggest practicing daily for about 15 minutes.

When we worry, it’s easy to imagine the worst-case scenario, but remember, what can happen isn’t the same as what will happen. The Bible is a great source of wisdom and direction. We find guidance in II Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (NKJV). We are meant to have a sound mind. My hope is that these tips help guide you to regain your power and become a more confident and grounded self. If you need a helping hand to journey alongside you for support, don’t hesitate to reach out. You got this!

This reflective Bible study offers compassionate encouragement for those wrestling with shame, self-criticism, and burnout. Rooted in Scripture and written by a licensed Christian therapist, it invites readers into God’s gentle grace and provides practical, faith-based insight for anyone seeking emotional and spiritual renewal.

Written by Cindy Picht, MA, LPC
How a Research-Based Couples Assessment Can Reveal What You’re Missing

“My partner says we communicate great, but I feel totally misunderstood.”​
​
We hear this a lot.
One of our counselors, Gerard DeMatteo, LPC, recently trained a group of pastors, therapists,
and lay leaders to facilitate a powerful relationship tool called PREPARE/ENRICH. This tool
has helped thousands of couples (including many at Light the Way) get clarity about where
they are and how to grow stronger together.

What Is PREPARE/ENRICH?
PREPARE is for dating or engaged couples.​
ENRICH is for couples who are already married.​
​
Both are online assessments that measure how you and your partner respond in key
relationship areas, such as communication, conflict resolution, money, sex, roles, and
spiritual beliefs.​
​
Couples take the assessment separately. Then, they meet with a trained facilitator who helps
them understand where they agree, where they disagree, and where they might have
misunderstood each other altogether.​
​
The power of this tool is that it gives you both something objective to look at. It’s not just
one person’s opinion anymore. It’s right there—in black and white.
A Real-Life Example
I’ve used PREPARE/ENRICH with couples since the early 2000s. Gerard was certified in
1995, and the tool has been around since 1980. It’s grounded in decades of research.​
​
Over the years, I’ve seen incredible things happen:​
- Couples who didn’t think they had any significant issues suddenly understood each other
in a whole new way​
- Engaged couples who realized they were heading in different directions—and lovingly
chose not to marry​
- Couples who felt stuck for years finally have the language to say what they’re really feeling​
​

I’d estimate that over 90% of the couples I’ve walked through PREPARE/ENRICH who chose
to marry are still together today.
What You’ll Get
When you take the assessment, here’s what to expect:​
- A comprehensive report of your strengths and growth areas that the facilitator
receives –
-An abridged report for you
-6–8 structured sessions with a trained counselor​
- Skills and exercises to help you grow in:​
- Communication​
- Conflict resolution​
- Understanding personality differences​
- Intimacy and shared values​
- Homework that deepens your connection between sessions​
​
It’s not just a quiz—it’s a map. And your counselor walks with you through every
step.
Why Use a Counselor?
PREPARE/ENRICH is a great tool, but it becomes even more powerful when you process it
with someone who’s trained to spot deeper patterns and help you work through them.​
​
At Light the Way, many of our therapists—Cindy, Gerard, Janet, and Esther—are certified in
PREPARE/ENRICH, as are our licensed Marriage and Family therapists.
Ready to See Where You Stand?
Whether you’ve been together for a few months or a few decades, PREPARE/ENRICH can
give you a clear view of where you’re thriving and where there’s room to grow.​
​
📞 Call 201-444-8103 ext. #1 to schedule a consultation.​
Let’s put it in black and white—and grow from there.

Join our Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Group and embark on a transformative journey towards a calmer, more centered you. In this engaging experience, you'll learn effective stress reduction techniques designed to alleviate anxiety and stress, fostering a sense of inner peace and resilience in facing life's challenges. We'll guide you through practices aimed at enhancing your focus and clarity, enabling you to sharpen your concentration and make more thoughtful, informed decisions. Beyond individual benefits, you'll become part of a vibrant, supportive community of like-minded individuals equally committed to exploring mindfulness and its profound effects on well-being. Together, we'll cultivate a space of connection, learning, and personal growth. Whether you're new to mindfulness or looking to deepen your practice, our group offers a welcoming and enriching environment to discover the transformative power of mindfulness.

#Mindfulness #StressReduction #Community #Focus #Clarity

Counseling sessions offer a refuge for individuals seeking guidance and support to navigate life's myriad challenges. In a world that can be overwhelming and often leaves one searching for deeper meaning, integrating biblical wisdom into counseling has been found beneficial for those who draw strength from their faith. This integration can offer comfort, provide moral direction, and help individuals cope with life’s struggles in a way that aligns with their spiritual beliefs.

The Harmony of Scripture and Counseling Techniques

The Bible, for many, is a source of profound wisdom and solace. It is rich with stories, parables, and teachings that can provide insight into human nature, ethical dilemmas, and the struggles of the human experience. For a counselor aiming to incorporate Scripture into counseling, it is essential to recognize the client's specific spiritual beliefs and ensure that the use of biblical principles complements the therapeutic goals.

Methods to Integrate Biblical Wisdom into Counseling

1. Identifying Resonant Passages

Begin by identifying passages from the Bible that resonate with the client's situation. Encourage the exploration of verses that speak to their particular struggles, whether it’s grappling with loss, facing anxiety, or seeking purpose. For instance, Philippians 4:6-7 offers comfort for those dealing with anxiety, while Psalms can be a source of solace for those in mourning.

2. Encouraging Reflection and Personal Connection

Facilitate reflection on how these passages relate to the client's life. The counselor can guide the client through reflective exercises that allow them to find personal meaning and relevance in the Scripture, making the text come alive in their current context.

3. Positive Affirmation

Use Scripture for positive affirmation. Biblical verses can be used to reinforce the client's worth, divine love, and purpose, which can be powerful in combating negative self-thoughts and boosting self-esteem. For instance, verses like Psalm 139:14, which speaks to being fearfully and wonderfully made, can affirm one’s identity.

4. Teach Forgiveness and Compassion

The Bible emphasizes forgiveness and compassion, critical components in therapy, especially when dealing with interpersonal conflicts. Verses that teach about forgiveness can help individuals find the strength to forgive themselves and others, fostering healing and reconciliation.

5. Creating a Space for Spiritual Growth

Allow counseling sessions to be a space where spiritual growth is encouraged. Discussing biblical principles can deepen the client’s understanding of their spirituality, helping them to grow in their faith and find strength in their beliefs.

6. Incorporating Prayer

For those who are comfortable, prayer can be integrated into sessions. Prayer can be a powerful therapeutic tool, providing a moment of quiet reflection, surrender, and connection with God. It can be tailored to address the specific concerns of the client.

7. Developing Ethical Frameworks

Biblical teachings can help solidify ethical frameworks for clients making difficult decisions. Counselors can guide discussions on moral dilemmas by exploring biblical principles and stories that illustrate virtuous behavior and character.

Finding Balance and Unity

The intersection of Scripture and counseling requires balance. It should respect the client's autonomy while embracing the therapeutic power of faith. Combining the structure and insight of psychological practice with the depth and meaning found in Scripture can provide a well-rounded approach to healing and growth.

Embrace the Journey of Faith-Based Counseling

If you feel that integrating Scripture into your counseling sessions could aid in your journey toward wellness, reach out to a counselor who respects and understands the value of your faith. When biblical wisdom walks alongside professional guidance, a unique and holistic path to healing can emerge. Call 443-860-6870 today and explore how the spiritual depth of the Bible can be woven into your personal growth and recovery.

Discover Hope and Healing Through Biblical Counseling Books
Explore a powerful collection of Christian counseling resources designed to guide you through life’s challenges with faith and wisdom. From finding purpose and overcoming addiction to navigating grief, renewing your mind, and preparing for eternity—each book offers biblical insight, practical steps, and compassionate encouragement for every stage of life, including a special guide for teens.

Understanding Generalized Anxiety and What You Can Do About It
A few years ago, I worked with a client who constantly worried about his family—how they would make it in life, and what he needed to do to help. We explored what was in his control and what wasn’t. Together, we created practical strategies to help him manage his responsibilities and ease the mental burden.
The GAD-7 Tool
I asked him to complete a short assessment called the GAD-7, which helps identify symptoms of anxiety. When he read his results, the lightbulb went off. “I had no idea this had a name,” he said, relieved to finally make sense of what he’d been feeling.
GAD stands for Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and the “7” refers to the number of core symptoms it screens for (plus one bonus question about daily functioning).
The tool asks how often you've been bothered by the following symptoms in the past two weeks. Write down your answers using this scale:
• 0 – Not at all
• 1 – Several days
• 2 – More than half the days
• 3 – Nearly every day
Want to try it?
Here are the questions. Write down your answers on a separate piece of paper.
1. Feeling nervous, anxious, or on edge.
2. Not being able to stop or control worrying.
3. Worrying too much about different things.
4. Trouble relaxing.
5. Being so restless that it is hard to sit still.
6. Becoming easily annoyed or irritable.
7. Feeling afraid as if something awful might happen.
8. How difficult have these problems made it for you to do your work, take care of things at home, or get along with other people? The choices here are: not difficult at all, somewhat difficult, very difficult, or extremely difficult.
Check your results
If you scored a few 1s, 2s, or 3s, it’s worth paying attention. If you notice a pattern or feel like your worries are interfering with daily life, working with a therapist can help you get clarity and relief.
What to do right now
At Light the Way, we use tools and insights from experts like Amen Clinics to understand better how anxiety affects your brain and body. One area often involved in anxiety is the Basal Ganglia—a part of the brain that can become overactive when you feel worried, tense, or afraid of the worst-case scenario.
While you don’t need to know neuroscience, it helps to know that there are natural, science-based ways to help calm this part of your brain.
Here are some suggestions you can start right now to help calm your Basal Ganglia:
• Exercise daily – Even a 30-minute walk can calm your nervous system.
• Listen to calming music – Slow, instrumental music can ease tension.
• Try ANT Therapy – That stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts. Notice your negative self-talk and challenge it with truth. The negative thought can also be stated in a more positive way
• Cut back on caffeine and alcohol – Both can overstimulate your system.
• Try meditation or prayer – Choose a practice that aligns with your values.
• Practice assertiveness – Anxiety often increases when we don’t speak up for ourselves.
Next Steps
If you discovered you may be living with anxiety, and you want to lessen it, pick one tool from the list above and commit to it daily for 1–2 weeks. See how you feel. Then, try adding another.
Consistency is more important than intensity. Small, steady steps can bring lasting relief.