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Monday, July 7, 2025

Trauma Defined: Healing with A.R.T.

Monday, July 7, 2025 @ 2:57 PM

Trauma affects people differently depending on their personal experiences, resilience levels, and the support systems they have in place. While the term "trauma" often conjures images of catastrophic events, it can also describe subtle yet impactful experiences that shape mental and emotional well-being.

Types of Events That May Cause Trauma

Natural disasters: Earthquakes, hurricanes, or other extreme weather conditions.
Violence: Physical assault, domestic violence, or war-related experiences.
Loss: The death of a loved one or separation from close relationships.
Chronic stressors: Prolonged neglect, bullying, or financial instability.

While these examples represent common causes of trauma, it is essential to recognize that what feels traumatic to one person may not have the same effect on another. This variability underscores the deeply personal nature of trauma.

How Trauma Manifests in Daily Life

Trauma does not simply exist as a distant memory—it often persists in ways that influence an individual’s behavior and interactions with the world.

Heightened feelings of sadness, anxiety, or anger.
Difficulty managing strong emotions.
Challenges in trusting others.
Fear of intimacy or attachment issues.
Negative beliefs about self-worth or safety.

Understanding these manifestations is critical for supporting individuals who have experienced trauma.

The Importance of Context

Trauma should always be understood within the context of someone's unique situation and history. Social support systems play an essential role in helping individuals process their experiences and move toward healing. For some people, professional interventions are necessary to address more severe symptoms effectively.

By deepening our understanding of trauma’s complex nature and its varied expressions across individuals and cultures, we can create a more compassionate environment for healing and growth.

Little t vs Big T Trauma

Trauma is a complex and multifaceted experience, but not all traumas are the same. One important distinction in understanding trauma lies in the difference between "little t" trauma and "Big T" trauma.

Big T Trauma: Life-Altering Events

Big T trauma refers to significant, life-altering events that often involve a clear threat to one's safety or survival. These types of events can overwhelm an individual's ability to cope.


Natural disasters (hurricanes, earthquakes)
Physical or sexual assault
Military combat
Severe car accidents
Life-threatening illnesses

Big T traumas typically lead to more acute psychological responses and may result in disorders like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). They are often easier to identify due to their dramatic and highly distressing nature.

Little t Trauma: Subtle Yet Impactful

Little t traumas, on the other hand, encompass smaller-scale events that may not seem immediately devastating but still leave a lasting emotional impact over time. These experiences might not involve physical danger but can disrupt one's sense of security or self-worth.

Repeated criticism during childhood
Experiencing exclusion or bullying
Parental divorce
Loss of a pet
Financial struggles

While little t traumas may not fully disrupt one’s life at first glance, their cumulative effect can be profound if left unaddressed. They may contribute to chronic stress, anxiety, or feelings of inadequacy.

Comparing Big T vs Little t Trauma

Why Both Types Matter

Both types of trauma are important because they shape an individual's emotional landscape and coping mechanisms. While Big T trauma often receives more attention due to its dramatic nature, little t trauma deserves equal recognition for its cumulative effects on mental health over time.

Increased emotional sensitivity
Difficulty building healthy relationships
Struggles with self-esteem
Chronic stress-related health issues

Addressing Both Forms of Trauma

It is essential for mental health professionals and individuals alike to recognize both forms of trauma in order to provide proper support and intervention.

Validating all experiences as significant without unfair comparisons.

Offering psychoeducation about the impact of even seemingly “small” traumatic events.

Encouraging self-awareness so individuals can recognize unprocessed emotions from smaller life experiences.

Addressing both little t and Big T traumas holistically fosters resilience while promoting long-term healing for individuals navigating their mental health journey effectively.

Trauma-Informed Treatment

Trauma-informed treatment is a framework that acknowledges the widespread impact of trauma and integrates this understanding into every aspect of care. It places emphasis on creating safe, supportive environments where individuals can begin to heal without re-traumatization. This approach is relevant in various fields, including mental health, education, healthcare, and social services.

Principles of Trauma-Informed Care

Trauma-informed treatment is guided by several key principles.


Safety: Ensuring both physical and emotional safety for individuals.
Trustworthiness and Transparency: Building trust through clear communication and consistent practices.
Peer Support: Encouraging connection with others who have experienced similar challenges.
Collaboration and Mutuality: Valuing the involvement of individuals in their own treatment process.
Empowerment, Voice, and Choice: Promoting self-determination by offering choices and prioritizing an individual’s voice in decision-making.
Cultural Humility: Recognizing the role of cultural factors while avoiding stereotypes or assumptions.

Adopting these principles ensures a person-centered approach to care that respects the unique experiences of trauma survivors.


Core Components of Trauma-Informed Treatment

Trauma-informed care can take many forms depending on the individual’s needs.
Helping individuals understand what trauma is and how it affects the brain and body.
Teaching coping skills to manage triggers or stress responses.
Introducing practices like mindfulness or grounding techniques to manage intense emotions.
Encouraging activities such as journaling or art therapy to explore emotions safely.
Identifying an individual’s strengths rather than focusing solely on deficits or problems.

Using these strengths as tools for recovery.

Building healthy interpersonal connections to counteract isolation caused by trauma.
Facilitating group therapies where appropriate to cultivate peer support.
Addressing somatic symptoms through methods like yoga, physical exercise, or body-based therapies (e. g. , somatic experiencing).
Considering proper nutrition, sleep hygiene, and other aspects of overall health.



Benefits of Trauma-Informed Approaches

Trauma-informed treatment not only helps survivors feel seen but also actively supports their journey toward post-traumatic growth.

By adopting such approaches across different systems—whether in therapy settings or educational institutions—organizations contribute toward broader systemic changes that prioritize mental health resilience.


Training Gaps: Not all professionals receive adequate training on trauma-related issues.

Resource Limitations: Some organizations may lack time or funding needed for sustainable implementation.

Stigma Reduction Efforts: Overcoming societal stigma around mental health remains a persistent obstacle.

Addressing these barriers requires systemic efforts such as staff development programs, policy changes within organizations, and advocating for increased funding for mental health initiatives.

Trauma-informed treatment transforms not just outcomes for individuals but also how systems operate at large—all while promoting dignity and respect throughout the healing process.

Trauma-Informed Treatment

Trauma-informed treatment is an approach to care that recognizes the prevalence and impact of trauma on individuals' lives. It goes beyond traditional methods by prioritizing safety, trust, collaboration, and empowerment within therapeutic settings. This model emphasizes understanding an individual’s trauma history and adapting care to their specific needs, fostering recovery and resilience.

Principles of Trauma-Informed Treatment

Safety:Creating a sense of physical and emotional security for those receiving care.
Trustworthiness and Transparency:Building trust through clear, consistent communication and actions.
Peer Support:Encouraging connection with others who have experienced similar situations to promote healing.
Collaboration:Engaging clients as active participants in their treatment instead of passive recipients.
Empowerment:Focusing on individual strengths while encouraging autonomy and self-efficacy.

Trauma-informed practices not only benefit individuals who have experienced trauma but also create safer environments across sectors like education, healthcare, or social services. Supporting people holistically ensures they are treated with dignity while fostering long-term recovery.

The best trauma treatment is called Accelerated Resolution Therapy ( A.R.T.) and it addresses all the principles listed above and has excellent outcomes for many clients. Please take a look at this TED Talk video by its creator and you will see why this modality is key to healing.

https://youtu.be/vP7dx03arxI?si=jZfoxWEsb9RBNTdL

Thursday, July 3, 2025

How to Stop Obsessive Thinking

Thursday, July 3, 2025 @ 12:50 PM

janekcoaching

Is obsessive thinking keeping you up at night? Maybe you wake up at 3 am and you keep thinking the same thoughts over and over and imagining the worst-case scenario.

You might experience…
Uncontrollable anxiety…
Your stomach in knots…
Your heart pounding…
Your body shaking…
You might even feel stupid or silly for being so anxious.
Wondering…
What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I just calm down?
Will this ever stop?
If that’s you, you’re not alone. I was all of these.

There was a time when I was obsessed with anxious thoughts. I was drowning in worry and fear. My thinking was dominated by fearful “what if’s” about the future. I was a basket case of tense energy unable to stop frantic thoughts.

All I wanted was to calm down, be able to sleep, and get control of myself. I wanted to be able to think clearly rather than being overwhelmed with scary images of what could happen.
I needed to stop my obsessive thinking. I needed to get clear about what was really happening.
With help, I was able to calm down and think clearly.

Here’s what I discovered….
My obsessive thinking was driven by the assumptions I was making about what might happen.
That’s right….my thoughts were focused on what might happen…not reality!
ASSUMPTIONS were killing me!

What is an assumption?

Simply put, an assumption is something that we accept as true or as likely to happen without proof.

Where Assumptions Come From

Assumptions or prejudgments develop throughout our lives. Childhood experiences shape unconscious ideas and conclusions about everything. Throughout our early development and into adulthood we absorb thinking patterns modeled by significant others.

How Assumptions Act

Assumptions act as “filters” for everything that happens. These “filters” pop up automatically in our thinking and cause anxiety. Based on a lifetime of developing assumptions, our minds jump to conclusions that actually have no basis in reality.

It’s about spontaneous, involuntary thoughts that jump into our heads causing worry and fear.
We make assumptions about all kinds of things. We automatically accept assumptions as true when they’ve not been tested by reality. This results in worry and overwhelm.

What assumptions are you making right now? How are these assumptions making you anxious?

How to Let Go of Assumptions Causing Anxiety

1. Ask yourself: How true is this assumption really? Is this really likely to happen? Take time to become aware of thoughts automatically surfacing in your mind. Then reflect on these questions honestly and carefully.

Getting clear and practical about the situation you’re anxious about provides new perspectives. Taking a “matter-of-fact” approach generates a sensible, authentic thought pattern. It helps you think logically and calms you down.

2. Create a blank space in your thinking. Pausing to reflect on what’s really true in a worrisome situation, produces a void or empty space. Hold the empty space. Avoid allowing more assumptions to crowd your mind.

Keeping an open mind is difficult. It means consistently throwing out automatic, harmful thoughts. It means patience and offering kindness to yourself as you do the work of keeping an open mind until real evidence shows up. Then you can make a rational decision. Now it’s not an imagined answer rooted in your anxiety. It is a decision based on the facts.

That is how you can stop obsessive thinking. That is one technique I used to do it and you can do it too.

Several months ago, a woman overwhelmed with anxiety about a situation in her family contacted me. She could not stop thinking about the problems. She was losing sleep and unable to function.

We talked about the thoughts that were troubling her. As she sorted out what was really true in her confused thoughts, she began to feel lighter and calmer. She gained clarity about what was really going on.

I hope you can follow these tips and reduce your anxiety.
But if you are truly struggling with obsessive thoughts keeping you up at night, imagining worst-case scenarios, and you can’t get it to stop, watch my Free 10 Minute Video on How to Stop Anxiety at https://janekcoaching.com/how-to-stop-anxiety/. Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation at https://janekcoaching.com/schedule-a-call/

Friday, June 20, 2025

3 Manipulation Tactics And How To Respond

Friday, June 20, 2025 @ 9:26 PM

Post by Jillian Meher, LPC

Dealing with people who engage in manipulative behavior can be extremely difficult. The interaction can leave you feeling guilty, angry, frustrated, and stuck. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re being manipulated until after the fact!

Here are a few common manipulation tactics and how to respond to them appropriately and assertively.

-A question disguised as a statement

Manipulation is all about remaining in control. Asking a question could mean a loss of control if the answer is not what the manipulative person wants to hear. So, people who are manipulative don’t like asking direct questions.

To avoid asking questions, manipulative people sometimes disguise questions as statements. This might sound like, “I’m wondering why you didn’t stop by yesterday,” “I wish you would do the laundry once in a while,” or “I suppose you’re not going to invite me.”

How to respond:

Train your ear to recognize the difference between actual questions and statements. Only answer questions! Repeat the last few words of the statement back to the person in the form of a question. For example, if they say, “I suppose you’re too busy to help me clean out the garage next weekend,” your response can be, “Are you asking me to help you clean out your garage next weekend?” This will give you the opportunity to then say either yes or no.

-Making a personal statement and pretending it’s someone else’s

Again, this tactic is an effort not to lose control in the conversation. By attributing a statement to someone else, the manipulative person can avoid taking responsibility for their opinion. For example, “Everyone thinks you should move closer to us,” or “They said you would be better off going to community college.”

How to respond:

Ask, “Who is everyone?” or “Who are they?” You can also ask the manipulator to take responsibility for their own opinion by asking, “What do you think?” or “What is your point of view?”

-The silent treatment

In order to remain in or regain control, manipulative people might stop talking to you entirely. This is likely an effort to see how long it is before you crack!

How to respond:

Put the ball in the manipulator’s court by saying, “Let me know when you’re ready to talk,” and leave it at that. If you “crack” by begging them to talk to you or giving in to their demands, the manipulative person will use this tactic with you over and over again.

Dealing with manipulative people can be very tricky and draining. But if you stick to your boundaries and respond assertively to their tactics, your confidence in interacting with manipulative people will grow in no time.

Wednesday, June 18, 2025

Father Contribution And Leadership

Wednesday, June 18, 2025 @ 8:22 PM

Some people believe that fathers don't really contribute that much to a child's rearing. This is a large myth and research backs up the importance of father in a child's life. In this first part I will talk about how dad contributes to the child's development. In our second part I will talk about the stages of development and fatherhood and how that relates to leadership with staff as they develop.

The Father’s Contribution during Early Childhood
Be a back up to Mom.
Be involved with the child so that she can form a bonded relationship with someone other than Mom.
Be available to the child so that he can move away from Mom and establish himself as a separate person. At around four years, start taking the child out of orbit around Mom.
Provide an outlet for the child’s anger and frustration with Mom.
Lay the groundwork for development of the child’s sexual identity.
Be a source of safety and security.
Lay a foundation for interaction in future years.
Provide a parenting model for the child.


The Father’s Contribution during the Elementary School Years

Encourage the child to see herself as a productive individual.
Help the child develop competence in a variety of skill areas.
Foster healthy self-confidence in the child.
Help the child learn to contain and control his personality and emotions, especially anger.
Provide a safe environment for exploration and for learning both cognitive and social skills.
By active leadership in the family, free the child to be a child.
Clarify sexual identity for the child. Model what a son is to become and what a daughter is not to become.
Provide a parenting model for the child.


The Father’s Contribution during Adolescence

Teach the child how to relate triadically (to two other people at the same time).
Be a source of competition and modeling for a son as he grows toward manhood.
Affirm a daughter’s femininity and her growth toward womanhood.
Be available to resolve any leftover issues from the earlier stages of development.
Make his inner strength and stability available to the child, providing a counterbalance to the roller coaster of adolescence.
Model a good marriage relationship.
Present a unified authority with the mother to prevent the child from “splitting.”
Provide a blessing as the child moves into adulthood.
Provide a parenting model for the child. Provide mentoring.



Father Influence and Leadership


The Nurturing Leader; This is a leader who has new people that are training and learning the job while he sets limits with them. He also helps them with grace and care to learn the actual tasks of the job as well as the relationships involved


The Lawgiver Leader: This is the leader who sets down rules and expectations as well as defining jobs and helping the more permanent or problematic employee get on the right path. Having already provided bonding and connection this leader has the freedom to set boundaries with staff.


The Warrior-Protector Leader: Helping staff by fighting for them and against things that are problematic is very much a part of this leaders job. This leader also encourages and promotes initiative and the proper use of power in the work situation.


See Making Peace With Your Father by David Stoop, PhD

Thursday, June 12, 2025

Performance Anxiety

Thursday, June 12, 2025 @ 11:18 AM

Post by Janet Henry, MA, LAC

Imagine yourself having to give a presentation at work, you stayed up most of the night rehearsing what you’re going to say. You have been preparing for weeks, and you hope to receive that job well done from your boss finally. You’re standing outside the door and peer in, seeing all the faces in the room in anticipation of what’s about to be presented, and you start feeling something. You start sweating, feel your heart racing a little faster, and are hit with a sudden bout of fear! What is going on right now, you think to yourself, I know this information inside and out?! Performance Anxiety may cause this…

What is Performance Anxiety?
It is an excessive worry or fear that can affect your ability to perform a given task, whether personal or professional, that may drum up physical symptoms and emotional distress. A type of anxiety that may present itself in anticipation of or during performing something like a work task (like a speech), a sports competition, or even a musical performance, similar to stage fright. It can also stem from not meeting self-imposed or external expectations, being judged by others, or familial pressures.

Common Symptoms of Performance Anxiety

-Intense nervousness

-Fear

-Worry about not meeting expectations (self or others) and/or failure

-Shaky voice, sweating, trembling, or a rapid heartbeat

-Dry mouth, nausea, dizziness, blurry vision

These symptoms can meaningfully affect one’s ability to perform, leading to either avoidance of the situation that may trigger anxiety or even leading to panic attacks. Some examples can be public speaking, test anxiety, stage fright, or sexual performance anxiety. While most people may just experience mild nervousness, others may have incapacitating anxiety that may hinder them from pursuing their passions, goals, and the purpose God has created us for.

Possible Causes of Performance Anxiety

-People-pleasing behaviors: fear that you may fail to meet others’ expectations in a particular situation, which leads to performance anxiety

-Family stressors: can lead to anxious thoughts/feelings, primarily if seeking approval from family members and establishing self-worth

-Self-doubt: can affect someone who may not be confident in their ability to meet societal standards, which can result in a self-fulfilling prophecy

-Past trials: negative experiences or reactions in past instances where you did try but it was received with criticism from others

-Social anxiety: you may get overwhelmed in social settings (office meeting/party/ church events) or completing a task before others

Coping Tools to Treat Performance Anxiety

-Breathing exercises: when you start to experience those common symptoms, just breathe! To help you calm down, your brain needs oxygen. Breathe in through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth, but go slow: inhale for 4 seconds, pause for another 4 seconds, and exhale slowly for 6 seconds. Do this for about 3-5 minutes.

-Try shaking it off: literally move your body around to help release some of that tension, hop around, flail your arms, move your head left to right

-Exercise: when you exercise, it releases endorphins, which help to override your stress response (a jog or walk).

-Meditation: It helps you to focus on the present, incorporates breathwork, and helps to ground yourself. Yes, your mind may wander but try to focus more intently on your body and breaths. We suggest practicing daily for about 15 minutes.

When we worry, it’s easy to imagine the worst-case scenario, but remember, what can happen isn’t the same as what will happen. The Bible is a great source of wisdom and direction. We find guidance in II Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (NKJV). We are meant to have a sound mind. My hope is that these tips help guide you to regain your power and become a more confident and grounded self. If you need a helping hand to journey alongside you for support, don’t hesitate to reach out. You got this!

Tuesday, June 10, 2025

When You Struggle to Be Kind to Yourself

Tuesday, June 10, 2025 @ 2:22 PM

This reflective Bible study offers compassionate encouragement for those wrestling with shame, self-criticism, and burnout. Rooted in Scripture and written by a licensed Christian therapist, it invites readers into God’s gentle grace and provides practical, faith-based insight for anyone seeking emotional and spiritual renewal.

Saturday, June 7, 2025

When It’s in Black and White: A Powerful Tool For Couples

Saturday, June 7, 2025 @ 10:53 AM

Written by Cindy Picht, MA, LPC
How a Research-Based Couples Assessment Can Reveal What You’re Missing

“My partner says we communicate great, but I feel totally misunderstood.”​

We hear this a lot.
One of our counselors, Gerard DeMatteo, LPC, recently trained a group of pastors, therapists,
and lay leaders to facilitate a powerful relationship tool called PREPARE/ENRICH. This tool
has helped thousands of couples (including many at Light the Way) get clarity about where
they are and how to grow stronger together.

What Is PREPARE/ENRICH?
PREPARE is for dating or engaged couples.​
ENRICH is for couples who are already married.​

Both are online assessments that measure how you and your partner respond in key
relationship areas, such as communication, conflict resolution, money, sex, roles, and
spiritual beliefs.​

Couples take the assessment separately. Then, they meet with a trained facilitator who helps
them understand where they agree, where they disagree, and where they might have
misunderstood each other altogether.​

The power of this tool is that it gives you both something objective to look at. It’s not just
one person’s opinion anymore. It’s right there—in black and white.
A Real-Life Example
I’ve used PREPARE/ENRICH with couples since the early 2000s. Gerard was certified in
1995, and the tool has been around since 1980. It’s grounded in decades of research.​

Over the years, I’ve seen incredible things happen:​
- Couples who didn’t think they had any significant issues suddenly understood each other
in a whole new way​
- Engaged couples who realized they were heading in different directions—and lovingly
chose not to marry​
- Couples who felt stuck for years finally have the language to say what they’re really feeling​


I’d estimate that over 90% of the couples I’ve walked through PREPARE/ENRICH who chose
to marry are still together today.
What You’ll Get
When you take the assessment, here’s what to expect:​
- A comprehensive report of your strengths and growth areas that the facilitator
receives –
-An abridged report for you
-6–8 structured sessions with a trained counselor​
- Skills and exercises to help you grow in:​
- Communication​
- Conflict resolution​
- Understanding personality differences​
- Intimacy and shared values​
- Homework that deepens your connection between sessions​

It’s not just a quiz—it’s a map. And your counselor walks with you through every
step.
Why Use a Counselor?
PREPARE/ENRICH is a great tool, but it becomes even more powerful when you process it
with someone who’s trained to spot deeper patterns and help you work through them.​

At Light the Way, many of our therapists—Cindy, Gerard, Janet, and Esther—are certified in
PREPARE/ENRICH, as are our licensed Marriage and Family therapists.
Ready to See Where You Stand?
Whether you’ve been together for a few months or a few decades, PREPARE/ENRICH can
give you a clear view of where you’re thriving and where there’s room to grow.​

📞 Call 201-444-8103 ext. #1 to schedule a consultation.​
Let’s put it in black and white—and grow from there.

Wednesday, June 4, 2025

Guidance & Growth: Your Source for Counseling and Wellness Books

Wednesday, June 4, 2025 @ 4:07 PM

Autumn Breeze

Discover Hope and Healing Through Biblical Counseling Books
Explore a powerful collection of Christian counseling resources designed to guide you through life’s challenges with faith and wisdom. From finding purpose and overcoming addiction to navigating grief, renewing your mind, and preparing for eternity—each book offers biblical insight, practical steps, and compassionate encouragement for every stage of life, including a special guide for teens.

Sunday, June 1, 2025

I Feel Anxious... And I Don't Know Why

Sunday, June 1, 2025 @ 7:31 PM

Understanding Generalized Anxiety and What You Can Do About It
A few years ago, I worked with a client who constantly worried about his family—how they would make it in life, and what he needed to do to help. We explored what was in his control and what wasn’t. Together, we created practical strategies to help him manage his responsibilities and ease the mental burden.
The GAD-7 Tool
I asked him to complete a short assessment called the GAD-7, which helps identify symptoms of anxiety. When he read his results, the lightbulb went off. “I had no idea this had a name,” he said, relieved to finally make sense of what he’d been feeling.
GAD stands for Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and the “7” refers to the number of core symptoms it screens for (plus one bonus question about daily functioning).
The tool asks how often you've been bothered by the following symptoms in the past two weeks. Write down your answers using this scale:
• 0 – Not at all
• 1 – Several days
• 2 – More than half the days
• 3 – Nearly every day
Want to try it?
Here are the questions. Write down your answers on a separate piece of paper.
1. Feeling nervous, anxious, or on edge.
2. Not being able to stop or control worrying.
3. Worrying too much about different things.
4. Trouble relaxing.
5. Being so restless that it is hard to sit still.
6. Becoming easily annoyed or irritable.
7. Feeling afraid as if something awful might happen.
8. How difficult have these problems made it for you to do your work, take care of things at home, or get along with other people? The choices here are: not difficult at all, somewhat difficult, very difficult, or extremely difficult.
Check your results
If you scored a few 1s, 2s, or 3s, it’s worth paying attention. If you notice a pattern or feel like your worries are interfering with daily life, working with a therapist can help you get clarity and relief.
What to do right now
At Light the Way, we use tools and insights from experts like Amen Clinics to understand better how anxiety affects your brain and body. One area often involved in anxiety is the Basal Ganglia—a part of the brain that can become overactive when you feel worried, tense, or afraid of the worst-case scenario.
While you don’t need to know neuroscience, it helps to know that there are natural, science-based ways to help calm this part of your brain.
Here are some suggestions you can start right now to help calm your Basal Ganglia:
• Exercise daily – Even a 30-minute walk can calm your nervous system.
• Listen to calming music – Slow, instrumental music can ease tension.
• Try ANT Therapy – That stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts. Notice your negative self-talk and challenge it with truth. The negative thought can also be stated in a more positive way
• Cut back on caffeine and alcohol – Both can overstimulate your system.
• Try meditation or prayer – Choose a practice that aligns with your values.
• Practice assertiveness – Anxiety often increases when we don’t speak up for ourselves.
Next Steps
If you discovered you may be living with anxiety, and you want to lessen it, pick one tool from the list above and commit to it daily for 1–2 weeks. See how you feel. Then, try adding another.
Consistency is more important than intensity. Small, steady steps can bring lasting relief.

Saturday, May 17, 2025

Encouragement for Parents of Adult Children Who Stray

Saturday, May 17, 2025 @ 11:05 PM

It’s one of life’s deepest joys to raise a child—to pour yourself into them, teach them what is right, model compassion, selflessness, and generosity, and hope they grow to reflect those values in their own lives. Many parents do just that. They serve their families tirelessly, give without hesitation, and raise their children with hearts full of love and sacrifice. But sometimes, despite all of this, a child grows up and chooses a different path. This is one of the hardest truths for a parent to face: when an adult child strays from the values they were taught, it can feel like a personal failure. A painful question begins to whisper in the heart: Where did I go wrong? Let me offer you this comfort—perhaps you did nothing wrong at all.

Giving and Serving Is Never Wasted

Love given is never wasted. Service modeled is never lost. You may not see the results today or even in your lifetime, but the seeds you planted matter. They matter because they were planted in love, and love never returns void. Your example, your sacrifice, your consistency—they speak volumes, even if your child seems to have tuned them out. Scripture reminds us in Galatians 6:9,
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Keep doing good. Keep living out the example. The harvest may not come in your timing—but that doesn’t mean it won’t come.

Every human being is a mix of nature and nurture. While we as parents can shape, teach, and guide, we cannot override our children’s free will or their unique temperaments. Some personalities are naturally bent toward service; they thrive on helping others and find joy in lifting up those around them. Others may lean toward self-interest, not because they weren’t loved properly, but because their wiring or experiences drew them that way. We can influence, but we cannot control.

You Gave What You Were Meant to Give

If you served your children with humility, kindness, and love, you fulfilled your calling. You gave them the best foundation you could. Whether or not they build on that foundation is ultimately their responsibility.

And remember even the most faithful gardener can’t force a seed to sprout. You tended the soil. You watered with patience. You shielded with prayer. You nurtured the roots. If your child chooses another direction, that doesn't invalidate the gardener’s work—it simply shows that every soul takes its own journey.

Proverbs 22:6 encourages us with this truth: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”The word “old” reminds us that sometimes the fruit takes time. What was planted in their youth may return to them in maturity. Their current choices don’t erase the impact of early training. They just haven’t come back to it yet.

Not All Mature at the Same Time

It’s also important to know that the story isn't over. Just because your child is not walking in the way you hoped today doesn't mean that they never will. Many adults grow into the values they once ignored. Life has a way of reshaping hearts and reawakening dormant seeds of truth. Not all fruit ripens at the same time. Some of the most compassionate, service-minded adults once resisted every ounce of wisdom they were given. And yet, something clicked later in life. A crisis. A moment of clarity. A realization of all their parents quietly did for them. Don’t give up hope. You never know what turning point may come.

You’re Still Their Example

Even now, you continue to teach—not always with words, but with your enduring grace. When you resist bitterness, when you continue to love without conditions, when you keep living your values without resentment or despair, you’re still serving your child. You’re showing them that giving isn’t reward. It’s about love. And that’s the truest gift of all.

Love Looks Forward

To every parent who is grieving the gap between their values and their child’s choices: be at peace. You are not defined by your child’s path. You are defined by your own. Your giving was not a waste. Your serving was not in vain. And your love still matters—more than you know.

Stay faithful to who you are. Keep loving. Keep serving. And trust that even the most wayward hearts are not beyond the reach of grace.

Monday, May 12, 2025

How Intensive Therapy Sessions Can Help You

Monday, May 12, 2025 @ 3:28 PM

What are intensive sessions?
Intensive sessions are extended therapy sessions. They allow individuals, families, or couples to meet beyond the standard 45-50 minute session time. Extended sessions can last anywhere from 90 minutes to 4 hours at a time over 1-3 days. These sessions may be scheduled semi-regularly, on a bi-weekly or monthly cadence. Other individuals find benefit in meeting for only one extended session or multiple days in a row. Many individuals who participate in intensives with us discover a quicker route to healing & transformation.
There is no right or wrong length of time, as we do not take a one-size-fits-all approach. We will partner with you in order to determine the best approach and make sure you are comfortable every step of the way. We use a Holistic and Christ-centered therapy approach in extended sessions. Often referring to what God, the creator of the Universe, says about you in order to reframe the negative self-talk in your mind.
Where are your intensive sessions located?


In person or virtual. Our intensive outpatient weekend therapy serves clients in sunny Ventura, California. Accessible to people in the vicinity of Santa Monica, Malibu, Calabasas, Santa Barbara, Ojai & surrounding areas. We also offer these services via confidential & secure video for people located throughout California, Florida & South Carolina. You only need to be in one of these states for the intensive session. If travel is an option for you, it may be worth considering a retreat-style intensive session with us.
How can intensive sessions help?


Our rapid relief therapy sessions assist individuals in moving through aspects that seem to be holding them back or hindering the progress they wish to make. The typical therapy session can leave some people feeling stuck and overwhelmed with having to come back week after week for little progress. Many of my clients tell me they only start feeling “warmed up" around the 30-minute mark in session. They feel like a breakthrough is ready to happen, only to be moved to close out for the session to end on time. Another week goes by with mounting personal issues and a limited capacity to handle them all. They have the space to process the week, which can be a blessing, but in reality, is also very limiting. So much more work can be done, which is why we have found that moving outside the limits of time constraints leads to lasting change. You were meant for more; you can feel it, but you aren’t sure which direction to go. We are happy to walk alongside you while you work toward your goals.
We have intensive clients who find that meeting for maintenance sessions on a regular or semi-regular cadence can be beneficial. While others prefer to maintain work with their regular therapists before and after our intensives together. As we discussed earlier, there really is no right or wrong way to engage in intensive sessions. Our goal is to provide the space you need to knock down barriers, connect to the purpose God has for your life, and experience improved emotional well-being. Dramatic change can happen over a weekend, something years of therapy often can not achieve.


What kind of issues are addressed in intensive therapy sessions?
We address an array of issues that may be present in your life. These may include, but are not limited to, historical or current traumas, limiting self-beliefs, anxiety, depression, relationship & communication issues. We work with adult individuals, families with minor & adult children & couples.


How does it work?
The first step is to reach out for a consult in order to determine if working together would be beneficial. We will set up a 15-20 minute call & you will have the opportunity to ask any questions or get clarification on aspects of what we offer. It is important that you are stable & not in active crisis in order to get the most out of our sessions together. After the consult we schedule an intake session where we meet by phone or video for 45-60 minutes in order to formulate goals & a plan for our intensive session. We will determine meeting date & length of time. In order to encourage a commitment to yourself, a 50% deposit will be required at time of booking & refunds are not provided.
Who are intensive not right for?
It is important for all of us to understand there are some limits to intensive sessions. Individuals in active crisis, experiencing suicidality or who are in active addictions would not be candidates. Couples who do not have the same goals for therapy, who are not sure they want to stay in the marriage or if there is an ongoing affair would not benefit from our intensive therapy format. If you fins yourself needing urgent support please reach out to 988 via call or text.

Sunday, May 11, 2025

How Does God get the Glory through Our Suffering?

Sunday, May 11, 2025 @ 1:16 AM

I have had my fair share of suffering in life, as I assume you also have if you've decided to read this, and I would like to say that I "evolved" in my understanding of the purpose of suffering and how God truly gets the glory when I'm going through the worst moments of my life.


One particular scripture comes to mind:


"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:3-5


This scripture always reminds me that the suffering we endure isn't for nothing, but is very much so purposeful. In the moment, we feel that it's unfair to endure what we're up against, but from God's perspective, it's the best way for us to grow in particular areas because we are here (on this earth) for HIM not OURSELVES.


Ouch.. I know that probably stung a bit, but one thing you'll hear from me is the truth, but it will always be clothed in care because that's exactly how God communicates with me and would want His truth to be delivered.


We are promised an abundant life and prosperity, but we are also promised trials, tribulations, and inconveniences. God never designed this life for us to receive one side of things and erase the other. BOTH work in contingent with each other to achieve God's perfect will, and to bring us to Himself.


That's why our suffering glorifies Him. Because we grow in many areas and we learn to seek His aid in everything. There is no growth without suffering.


So if you have suffered any trauma or are currently suffering through something, I want to encourage you begin offering that suffering to God and asking for His strength to endure what you're facing. It may be helpful to ask God these questions:


1. What is the purpose of this particular situation I'm suffering through?

2. What are You revealing about me or others in this situation?

3. What are the lessons I need to learn through this?

4. How should I change my thinking about this situation to align more with Your will?


Not only does these questions cause you to go deeper in understanding more about God's plans for you in the midst of your suffering, but it also opens up the opportunity for you to build true intimacy with Him.


I pray this encourages you in your life's journey.

**If you're a woman in Florida or Illinois looking for more direction to start your growth and healing journey, please visit my website to schedule a consultation and discuss more details!


Your Sister in Christ,


Dominique S. Russell, MA, LCPC

Saturday, May 10, 2025

The Many Moods of May: Embracing Joy, Tenderness, and Everything In Between

Saturday, May 10, 2025 @ 8:11 PM

May is a month that comes in full bloom.

The days stretch longer. Blossoms spill onto sidewalks. The air fills with the scent of possibility—and for many, a rush of emotion. School years wind down, graduation gowns are steamed and ready, and families gather to celebrate milestones large and small. For some, it’s a time of deep joy, pride, or relief. For others, it may bring a quieter ache—longing for what hasn’t come, mourning what’s been lost, or feeling left out of celebrations altogether.

In my work with women, couples, and families, I often hear how the “big feelings” of this month stir things up. You might find yourself feeling multiple things at once: proud and depleted, joyful and tender, hopeful and overwhelmed. You may be gearing up for “swimsuit season” with a new sense of confidence—or facing body image struggles that whisper old, unkind stories. Mother’s Day may be a treasured time to celebrate beloved women in your life—or a tender reminder of absence, grief, or complex relationships.

Whatever is present for you this month, I want to offer this simple truth:
Your feelings are valid. They matter. And they are worthy of gentle attention.

The Emotional Landscape of May

If you’re feeling a bit emotionally scrambled this month, you’re not alone. May tends to hold a mix of:

Celebratory Moments:

A sense of renewal as the weather shifts
Graduations, proms, and “move-up” ceremonies
A fresh start in health or wellness routines
Mother’s Day celebrations with loved ones


Tender or Complicated Emotions:

Grief for a mother, child, or dream not yet fulfilled
Loneliness or exclusion from seasonal milestones
Pressure around body image or comparison
Emotional whiplash from everyone else's "highlight reels"


Scripture reminds us in Romans 12:15:
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.”
Sometimes, we’re doing both at the same time.


Making Space for Your Truth

We often feel pressure to “match” the emotional tone around us. To smile when we’re hurting. To push down grief in the face of someone else’s joy. But our emotional world is sacred ground. You are allowed to name what’s real for you, even when it doesn’t fit the mood of the month.

Here are a few questions for gentle reflection:

What’s blooming in me right now—and what’s still tender or raw?
Are there emotions I’ve been pushing aside that need a moment of acknowledgment?
What’s one expectation (mine or someone else’s) I can release this month?
Where might I need to offer myself more compassion or room for joy?

Try journaling these questions, bringing them into prayer, or just being present with them on a quiet walk.


Simple Ways to Care for Yourself in Every Mood

You don’t have to fix your feelings—you can simply care for them. Here are a few small ways to honor whatever you're carrying this month:


If You're Celebrating...

Take time to savor—write down the moment or share it with a friend.
Ground yourself with gratitude, but don’t guilt yourself for your joy.
Reach out to someone who may need encouragement—it helps deepen your celebration.


If You're Grieving, Tender, or Feeling Disconnected...

Light a candle for what you've lost or long for.
Write a letter—to God, to your future self, or even to someone you’ve lost.
Create your own mini-ritual: a walk, a favorite meal, a private moment of remembrance.
Take a social media break if scrolling amplifies comparison or grief.


For Everyone...

Let your body lead: rest when tired, stretch when stiff, and move when you feel stuck.
Reconnect with God, not through striving but through stillness.
Nourish your soul with something that brings quiet joy: a song, a book, or a cup of tea in the sun.
Make time to connect with those who see you and embrace you fully as you are.


Closing Thought

May is a garden. Some parts are bursting with color. Others are just beginning to grow. Some may still feel hidden, waiting for the right time to bloom. Wherever you are in the landscape of this month, know this:

You are allowed to feel what you feel. You are worthy of gentleness and joy. And you are not alone.

Grief & Loss: Finding Comfort and Hope in Christ

Saturday, May 10, 2025 @ 1:28 AM

Join us for a free, in-person session at New Life Church in Henderson, Texas, as part of the Exchanged Life Series. This session will explore the journey of grief and loss through a biblical lens, offering grace-based insights, emotional validation, and Christ-centered hope. Whether you are grieving a loved one, a relationship, or a difficult life transition, you’ll be encouraged and supported as we uncover how God meets us in our pain.

Register here👉 www.christian-counseling.org/grief-class

Tuesday, May 6, 2025

Burnout Isn’t Always About Workload—It’s About Emotional Betrayal

Tuesday, May 6, 2025 @ 11:48 AM

When we hear the word “burnout,” most of us think of long hours, overbooked calendars, and sheer exhaustion. But what if burnout isn’t just about how much we do?

What if it’s about how deeply we care—and how deeply we feel betrayed when our care is not honored?

For many, burnout doesn’t stem from doing too much. It stems from giving too much to environments that don’t see them, don’t support them, and don’t align with their core values. This isn’t just tiredness—it’s heartbreak. It’s emotional betrayal.

The Deeper Truth Behind Burnout

We’ve been taught to link burnout solely to output—too much work, not enough rest. But people don’t burn out from passion. They burn out when the places they give their passion to don’t give back.

When you show up with dedication, empathy, and loyalty to a job, a company, or a mission—and in return, you’re met with indifference, unrealistic demands, or toxic culture—that’s betrayal. You trusted the system with your energy, and that trust was broken.

The Silent Symptoms of Betrayal-Based Burnout

Unlike traditional burnout that feels like fatigue, betrayal-based burnout carries a different weight. You may notice:

Emotional disconnection – You stop caring about the things you used to love.
Resentment – A quiet anger builds as you feel unseen or taken for granted.
Cynicism – You start questioning the point of your work or your purpose.
Loss of identity – You wonder who you are when your values are constantly compromised.

This isn’t just a sign you need a vacation. It’s a sign your emotional safety has been violated.

When Values and Systems Clash

We all have a deep need to live in alignment with our values—whether that’s compassion, justice, creativity, or authenticity. When we’re in systems that require us to:

Stay silent about injustice
Put profits over people
Numb our emotions to survive
Be productive over being human

—we experience internal dissonance. The result? A spiritual, emotional, and even physical breakdown. That’s what many are mislabeling as “just burnout.”

Healing Starts with Naming the Betrayal

You can’t heal what you won’t name. And if you’re in a place of burnout that no amount of rest seems to fix, it may be time to ask:

What part of me has been betrayed here?
Where have I silenced my truth to stay safe or employed?
What values am I sacrificing, and at what cost?

Naming the emotional betrayal helps reclaim your power. It puts the responsibility back on systems—not just individuals—to cultivate environments where trust, humanity, and well-being are honored.

Steps Toward Recovery and Reconnection

To begin healing from betrayal-based burnout, consider these trauma-informed steps:

Reconnect with Your Voice

Start journaling your unmet needs and silenced thoughts. What truths have you buried to survive?
Honor Your Boundaries

Learn to say no, reclaim rest, and recognize that your worth is not tied to productivity.
Find Value-Aligned Community

Healing accelerates when you’re seen, heard, and supported by people who share your values.
Practice Radical Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself for staying too long in systems that didn’t serve you. You did what you needed to survive.

Give Yourself Permission to Choose Again

Whether it’s changing roles, shifting careers, or redefining your goals—remember, you are allowed to change your mind when your soul is no longer in agreement.

Final Thoughts: This Isn’t Weakness—It’s Wisdom

Burnout is not a flaw in you. It’s a signal from your body, mind, and soul that something isn’t working. And when that something is emotional betrayal, the healing requires more than time off. It requires truth-telling, soul-tending, and systemic change.

So the next time you feel burnout creeping in, pause and ask yourself:

Is this really about the hours I’m working… or the parts of me I’m abandoning to keep working?

Meta Description:

Discover the hidden reason behind burnout. It’s not always about doing too much—it’s about emotional betrayal when your values are ignored. Learn how to heal from value-based burnout.

Tuesday, April 29, 2025

Anxiety: The Battleground of the Mind and Heart

Tuesday, April 29, 2025 @ 2:00 PM

Anxiety isn’t just a passing feeling; it’s a real, often relentless battleground where our thoughts, emotions, and faith collide. It can be a daily struggle fought behind smiles and silent prayers, a private war that no one ever sees.
Anxiety doesn't ask for permission before it storms in. It attacks without warning, weaving fearful "what-ifs" into the mind and weighing the heart down with invisible burdens. It convinces you that you're alone in the fight, that you're not strong enough, and peace is out of reach.
BUT THAT IS NOT THE TRUTH.
The truth is God is with you and loves you, and He is here to help you if you let Him.
Anxiety is a battleground because it wages war in three crucial areas:
1. The Mind: The Battlefield of Thoughts
Anxiety often begins with racing thoughts—ruminating over worst-case scenarios, overanalyzing conversations, and anticipating failures that haven’t happened (and may never happen).
In this mental battleground, anxious thoughts are like enemy forces planting seeds of fear and doubt. The mind loops through fears in an endless cycle, making it difficult to focus, work, or rest.
Yet, the mind can also be where victory begins. Scripture tells us in Romans 12:2 to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Taking every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) is not just good advice; it is a spiritual weapon. When we challenge fearful thoughts with truth, we begin reclaiming territory that anxiety has tried to steal.
2. The Heart: The Battlefield of Emotions
Anxiety is not just logical, it is deeply emotional. It stirs up dread, sadness, anger, and sometimes even guilt. It makes the heart feel heavy, overwhelmed by the enormity of life's uncertainties.
In the emotional realm, anxiety fights to strip away hope and joy. It tempts you to retreat, to shut down, or to lash out.
But the heart, too, is guarded and strengthened by something greater. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."
By turning to prayer, community, and intentional self-care, we fortify the heart against the siege of anxiety.
3. The Spirit: The Battlefield of Faith
Perhaps the most subtle and painful battleground is in the spirit. Anxiety whispers lies about God’s nearness and goodness. "Where is He now?" it asks. "Does He really care?"
But faith answers back louder.
It clings to the truth that God is closer than our breath, that His promises are not invalidated by our emotions. FEELINGS ARE NOT FACT.
In 2 Timothy 1:7, we’re reminded: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
Even when the battle feels overwhelming, God’s presence is unwavering. The fight against anxiety is not fought alone. We have a Defender who goes before us and stands with us.
Finding Strength on the Battleground
If anxiety feels like a constant war, take heart, you’re not weak for fighting. You’re courageous for standing your ground every day. And the truth is, victory is not found in striving harder; it is found in surrender.
Surrender doesn't mean giving in to anxiety; it means handing the battle over to the One who has already overcome the world.
Through prayer, renewing our minds with truth, connecting with supportive community, seeking professional help when needed, and remembering that the struggle is real, but so is God.
Anxiety may be a battleground, but you are not defeated.
You are seen.
You are loved.
And you are stronger than you feel right now.
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." — Exodus 14:14 (NLT)
#anxirty #mental health #battleground #caterpillarcounselingllc

Friday, April 11, 2025

Religion and Mental Health Have a Disconnect. It’s Time to Fix it.

Friday, April 11, 2025 @ 9:29 AM

According to a 2023 Gallup survey, 47% of Americans identify as “religious”, and 33% as “spiritual”. And a 2003 report issued by the National Library of Medicine reported that members of the clergy, across religious and denominational lines, were contacted by persons with mental health issues in higher proportions (23.5%) than were psychiatrists and general medical practitioners (16.7% each).

A 2023 article in the American Psychological Association publication Monitor on Psychology asserts: “Myriad studies show that religious or spiritual involvement improves mental health and can be useful in coping with trauma.” The article also suggests that when clergy don’t know enough about psychology and clinicians not enough about spirituality, they can inadvertently do harm to those who seek their help. Therefore, how religious leaders, who are generally untrained or under-trained in clinical psychology, respond to such persons may require careful discernment to ensure that it helps and does not unintentionally harm. Likewise, it is also incumbent on mental health clinicians to possess a good working knowledge of how spirituality can be embedded into clients’ narratives about self, others, and the world.

On the clinical side, I have sometimes stumbled in this regard. For instance, I used to blanketly impart to my clients the virtues of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a theory grounded in Western “bootstrap” individualism in which one is supposed to achieve what Maslow called “Self-Actualization”: by devoting their life to ascending the pyramid via achievement and individual growth until, if fortunate, one makes it all the way to the top (a pinnacle that even Maslow admitted few ever reach). Maslow, it turns out, co-opted his model from the Blackfoot Nation term niita ‘pitapi, which means “someone who is completely developed, or who has arrived.” Blackfoot spirituality perceives niita ‘pitapi as a birthright and not something to be gained through individual effort. Blackfoot culture, like that of many other indigenous communities throughout the world, is collectivist rather than individualistic, and grounded in mutual cooperation and sharing of resources. To paraphrase a Blackfoot saying, the wealthiest person in the community is the one with the least material possessions, because they gave most of them away to others who needed them more.

When we don’t properly understand a client’s particular cultural and spiritual background and if it is not like that of Western culture, espousing Maslow’s Pyramid as a self-help tool can be an afront. This is where we as clinicians have the obligation to become spiritually and culturally informed.

Those who serve their religious communities have a similar obligation. As I sat in church one recent Sunday morning, the music director introduced a worship song. “If this song does not grip your heart,” she said, “I don’t know if you’re a Christian.” The song, living up to her promise was indeed gripping and inspirational. Later our pastor, in his sermon, spoke on how, if you can’t push past your guilt, grief, pain and brokenness in order to embrace the idea that God has His hand on your life, then you, as a believer, must change your way of thinking.

Those messages brought me back to a young client I’d seen a few days earlier. Just 24 hours prior, their spouse had died suddenly and unexpectedly. My client was understandably still in shock and disbelief. “I feel numb,” they said. “I don’t know why I can’t cry right now, although sometimes I spontaneously have been. I just don’t know what I feel.”

As Sunday services continued, I thought to myself, what if any emotions would my client (also a Christian) be able to feel were they sitting with me at that moment? What would they be thinking about God and eternal life, and how would they perceive the comments that if they weren’t feeling “gripped” by the song then they might not be a Christian, that if they can’t at that point cast aside their devastation and feel the spirit of God, then they must change their mindset?

To be clear, I do not question the good intentions of the music director and the pastor any more than I question my own good intentions when I preached Maslow. Their mission is to inspire and equip the congregation to get closer to God and spread the Good News of Jesus Christ. The problem, however, is that too often such messages are geared toward people in relatively good mental health. But for persons struggling with depression, grief and loss, trauma, and other issues, such words can cut like a knife and increase distress rather than soothe it.

Let’s take trauma for example. Research shows that traumatic experiences, such as sexual assault, alter the synaptic functions in the brain, particularly what is called fear circuitry to where the victim can experience distressing nightmares, hyper-arousal and hypervigilance, avoidance of certain places, people and activities, and even flashbacks (where they actually relive the event as if it were happening all over again in real time). Trauma is existential: it challenges our erstwhile narratives of self, other people, and the world. This can alter, either temporarily or permanently, our concept of how our God or higher power loves us, protects us, and nurtures us. It may even challenge our belief altogether.

This is not a sign of weak faith. Fr. Francis P. Duffy, the iconic chaplain of the 69th New York Infantry Regiment (165th U.S. Infantry), served valiantly with his men in the trenches of World War I, regularly venturing into No Man’s Land to minister to wounded and dying soldiers and assisting stretcher bearers in bringing the casualties back to aid stations. While he was never known to have suffered what was then called “shell shock” (now PTSD), on at least one occasion he was reported to have sobbed uncontrollably upon finding the body of a soldier he’d mentored.

So how can we bridge the gap between religion and mental health, especially now when so many people need hope, assurance, and healing? I suggest that clinicians and clergy begin to more proactively reach out to one other for better mutual understanding, to exchange clinical and spiritual insights, and to collaborate in serving our clients and congregants. Here’s how we might do this:

1. Establish connections with ministers, priests, rabbis, imams, and other religious leaders, to discuss our common interest in helping those we serve to heal and to live a more balanced and satisfying life.

2. Cross-refer with them, when indicated.

3. Learn as much as we can about our own religion and other religions, particularly those that are most prevalent within our catchment areas. And make ourselves available to educate clergy members on the basic neuropsychology of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, trauma, and other mental health conditions.

4. Adopt a faith-based component to our services, and promote it in our social media, websites, and other communication platforms.

Imagine the possibilities that might arise from such a synergy between psychology and spirituality in helping our clients to overcome their challenges.

Tuesday, April 1, 2025

7 Important Boundaries That Every Marriage Needs

Tuesday, April 1, 2025 @ 1:14 PM

Marriages are a union of two unique individuals with separate interests, goals, and perspectives. While merging lives is a beautiful and intimate experience, maintaining individuality and personal space within this union is critical. This balance can be achieved through establishing certain boundaries. Here are seven important boundaries that every marriage needs to ensure a healthy and respectful relationship.

1. Emotional Boundaries

One of the most crucial boundaries to set in a marriage is emotional ones. These are essential to protect your emotional health and maintain a sense of individuality. Emotional boundaries serve as an understanding between partners on how to handle each other's feelings.

Respect each other's feelings: It's vital to acknowledge that your partner's feelings are just as valid as yours. This means refraining from dismissing or invalidating their emotions, even if they differ from yours.

Allow space for individual emotions: Each person has the right to feel different emotions, even at the same situation or event. It's important not to impose your feelings on your partner.

Communicate openly about emotional needs: Transparency about emotional requirements allows both partners to understand what they need from each other.

Remember, setting emotional boundaries doesn't mean shutting off emotionally from your spouse; instead, it involves communicating openly about your feelings and respecting one another's emotional needs.

2. Physical Boundaries

Physical boundaries are not limited to issues of intimacy but also include personal space and comfort levels in various scenarios.

Personal Space: Every individual has their comfort levels when it comes to physical touch and personal space, which should be respected by the spouse.

Non-Sexual Touch: Non-sexual touch like holding hands, hugging etc., can be equally important as sexual intimacy in building connection.

Intimacy Level: Conversations about comfort levels regarding intimacy should be ongoing in any marriage.

3. Digital Boundaries

In the age of social media and constant digital connection, setting digital boundaries is also significant.

Privacy: Respecting each other's digital privacy is as important as physical privacy. For instance, it is inappropriate to read your partner's messages or emails without their consent.

Online Interaction: Discussing comfort levels for online interactions with others, the content shared and hours spent on digital platforms can prevent disagreements later.

4. Time Boundaries

Time is a precious commodity and how it's spent within a marriage is key to maintaining balance.

Individual Time: Each partner should have time to pursue their interests or simply be alone.

Couple Time: Set aside regular time for activities that you both enjoy.

5. Social Boundaries

Social boundaries refer to interactions with family, friends, colleagues and other social circles.

Family Interactions: It's important to negotiate how much time you spend with each partner's family.

Friendships: Both partners should have the freedom to maintain individual friendships while also respecting the relationship.

6. Financial Boundaries

Money can often become a contentious issue in marriages if not handled properly.

Budgeting: Regular discussions on budgeting and expenditure are crucial in managing financial stress in a marriage.

7. Environmental Boundaries

These include decisions about your shared environment like home organization or lifestyle choices such as choosing eco-friendly alternatives like bamboo straws.

Financial Boundaries in Marriage

One of the most common sources of conflict in marriages is finances. From differing views on spending to keeping secrets about personal debts, financial issues can create wedges in even the strongest relationships. Establishing clear financial boundaries is a vital part of maintaining a healthy marriage.

Open Communication About Finances

Couples should make it a habit to discuss their financial situation regularly. Such conversations might include income, debts, savings, and individual spending habits. Open communication about finances can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts later on.

Discuss your individual money philosophies and try to reach a mutual understanding.

Be honest about any debts or liabilities you may have.

Share your financial goals and work together to achieve them.

Joint Decision-Making on Major Purchases

Major purchases or investments should always be a joint decision. This boundary ensures that both parties feel valued and involved in the family's financial health.

Set an agreed-upon amount for what constitutes a "major purchase." This could be anything from $100 to $1000, depending on your financial situation.

Always consult each other before making such purchases.

Discuss potential investments together and agree on an investment strategy.

Separate or Joint Accounts

Decide whether you want to combine all your finances into joint accounts, keep everything separate, or have a mixture of both. There is no one-size-fits-all answer; it depends on your personal preferences and what works best for your relationship.

Consider having joint accounts for shared expenses such as rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries while having separate accounts for personal expenditure.

Having some level of financial autonomy can contribute positively to individual self-esteem and relationship harmony.

Budgeting Together

Creating a budget together helps ensure that everyone's needs are met within the constraints of what you can afford. It can also help prevent disagreements about money.

Sit down together and outline your income and expenses.

Prioritize spending based on your collective needs and wants.

Regularly review your budget to adjust for changes in income or expenditure.

Transparency About Financial History

All marriages are built on trust, which includes being honest about your financial history. If you have substantial debts or bad credit, it's important to let your partner know before these issues affect your joint finances.

Balancing Equality and Fairness

Ideally, both partners should contribute equally towards shared expenses. However, when there is a significant income disparity between partners, a fair approach may not be an equal one.

For instance, rather than splitting expenses 50/50, consider each contributing a percentage of their income.

Discuss and agree on what feels most comfortable and fair for you both.

Remember that communication is key in setting financial boundaries. Always keep an open mind and be ready to compromise when necessary. Incorporating the use of household items such as bamboo straws into your budgeting can also contribute to reducing costs while promoting sustainable living – more evidence that successful budgeting needs creative thinking too!

Thursday, March 27, 2025

Virtual Co-working/Body Doubling Group Time for Women

Thursday, March 27, 2025 @ 8:55 PM

Sisters, do you need a little space to focus and take care of YOU? Join us at Immeasurably More Counseling, Coaching, and Consulting (IMC3) for Center &Soar Hours, a 2-hour virtual co-working session designed for busy women who want intentional, purposeful time to tackle their to-do list.

📌 Use this time however YOU need:
✔ Plan meals or shop your grocery list
✔ Schedule appointments or take care of errands
✔ Work out, meditate, or read a great book
✔ Study for an exam or work on a pitch
✔ Attend to personal care or call a friend

This is your time to focus and flourish in a supportive, no-pressure community. Start with an optional check-in, dive into your tasks, and close with a 5-minute wrap-up.

When: 9:45 AM – 11:45 AM (ET) on Mondays
Where: Register for the meeting link by copying and pasting this link into your browser [https://bit.ly/4htPyMG].

Share with a friend who might want to join, and let’s honor God with our time!

Tuesday, March 25, 2025

Breaking Strongholds: Overcoming Spiritual Barriers in Christ

Tuesday, March 25, 2025 @ 4:18 PM

Breaking Strongholds: Overcoming Spiritual Barriers in Christ
In our Christian walk, we often encounter spiritual strongholds—deep-seated patterns of thinking, habits, or struggles that keep us from fully experiencing God’s power and freedom. These strongholds can be rooted in fear, pride, doubt, addiction, or past wounds, and they hinder our spiritual growth. But the good news is that through Christ, we have the power to break free.
What Are Strongholds?
The Bible speaks of strongholds as mental and spiritual fortresses that oppose God’s truth. In 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, Paul reminds us:
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God."
Strongholds can be lies we believe, unhealthy behaviors we repeat, or fears that keep us bound. They distort our perception of God, ourselves, and others.
Recognizing Strongholds in Our Lives
Some common strongholds include:
• Fear and Anxiety – Believing the lie that God won’t take care of us.
• Unforgiveness – Holding onto past hurts instead of releasing them to God.
• Addiction – Seeking comfort in substances, entertainment, or other distractions instead of Christ.
• Pride – Relying on our strength rather than surrendering to God’s will.
How to Tear Down Strongholds
1. Identify the Lies
Strongholds often begin with deception. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any lies that have taken root in your mind. Are you believing that you are unworthy of love? That God doesn’t hear your prayers? That you can’t change?
2. Replace Lies with God’s Truth
The Word of God is our weapon. In John 8:32, Jesus says, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Replace negative thoughts with God’s promises. Meditate on verses like Philippians 4:13 (“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”) and Romans 8:1 (“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”).
3. Pray and Declare Victory
Spiritual battles require spiritual weapons. Pray fervently, asking God to break every chain in your life. Declare His Word over your struggles.
4. Walk in Obedience
Breaking strongholds isn’t just about praying—it’s about action. If a stronghold is tied to sin, repent and turn from it. If it’s linked to fear, step out in faith.
5. Seek Accountability
Sometimes, strongholds are too big to tear down alone. Find a trusted mentor, pastor, or Christian friend who can pray with you and offer encouragement.
The Power of Freedom in Christ
When we surrender our strongholds to Jesus, He replaces bondage with freedom, despair with hope, and fear with peace. No stronghold is too big for God’s power. Through faith, prayer, and His Word, we can walk in the victory He has already won for us!
Are there any strongholds you need to break today? Bring them before the Lord, and let His truth set you free.
If you’re feeling unbalanced in any of these areas, I am here to help. Reach out today for a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation. (772-446-1922), or check out my website at https://caterpillarcounseling.webflow.io/therapy
Be blessed,
Dawn Taylor

The Battle in the Mind of a Veteran

Tuesday, March 25, 2025 @ 3:58 PM

Mike, an Army veteran needs healing. The emotional scars from combat often manifest as negative thought patterns that can contribute to anxiety, OCD, and various addictions, such as nicotine, alcohol, and unhealthy relationships with food and sex. However, Mike’s journey illustrates that overcoming these challenges is possible through intentional strategies and support.



1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

One of the first steps Mike took to combat his negative mindset was engaging in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This evidence-based approach helps individuals identify and challenge distorted thinking patterns. Through sessions with his therapist, Mike learned to recognize automatic negative thoughts, such as “I am worthless” or “I’ll never be happy again.”



By actively questioning these thoughts and replacing them with more realistic and positive affirmations, Mike began to reframe his perspective. For instance, he shifted from thinking, “I will always struggle with addiction,” to “I am learning to manage my triggers one day at a time.” This shift in thinking not only alleviated his anxiety but also empowered him to confront his behaviors, helping him regain control over his life.



2. Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)

In addition to traditional therapies, Mike discovered Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), a relatively new modality designed to help individuals process and heal from trauma quickly. ART focuses on altering the negative images and feelings associated with traumatic experiences, enabling clients to integrate and release the emotional pain tied to those memories.



During his ART sessions, Mike was guided through visualization techniques where he could create new, positive images to replace the distressing ones associated with his trauma. For example, he was encouraged to visualize the traumatic event and then modify it by changing specific elements—like replacing the sights or sounds with something calming and reassuring.



This process helps desensitize individuals to the trauma, allowing them to confront painful memories without the overwhelming emotional response typically associated with them. Mike found this approach particularly effective in addressing the flashbacks and intrusive thoughts that often plagued him. By altering the way he visualized his experiences, Mike could begin to reclaim his narrative, transforming his trauma from something that controlled him into a story of resilience and strength.



3. Mindfulness and Meditation

In addition to therapy, Mike discovered the power of mindfulness and meditation. Initially skeptical, he began practicing mindfulness exercises after being encouraged by his counselor. By focusing on the present moment and learning to observe his thoughts without judgment, Mike found that he could create a buffer against the overwhelming anxiety that often triggered his compulsions.



Incorporating mindfulness into his daily routine—whether through guided meditations, deep breathing exercises, or simply taking quiet moments to reflect—helped Mike cultivate a sense of calm. This practice allowed him to distance himself from negative thoughts and cravings, fostering a more balanced emotional state.



4. Physical Activity

Mike also realized the importance of physical health in overcoming his negative mindset. Regular exercise became a crucial outlet for managing stress and anxiety. Whether it was lifting weights at the gym, going for a run, or practicing yoga, movement helped Mike release pent-up energy and boost his mood.



Research has shown that exercise increases the production of endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters. For Mike, the endorphin rush provided a sense of accomplishment and a natural high that gradually reduced his reliance on substances like nicotine and alcohol. Moreover, the discipline required in maintaining a fitness routine helped him build resilience and focus, counteracting negative thought patterns.



5. Support Groups

Finding community support was another significant aspect of Mike’s recovery. He joined several support groups specifically designed for veterans facing similar challenges. Sharing his experiences with peers who understood his struggles created a sense of belonging and validation. Hearing others’ stories also reminded him that he wasn’t alone in his fight against addiction and mental health issues.



In these groups, Mike learned valuable coping strategies and developed friendships that provided encouragement during tough times. Knowing that others were rooting for his success made a world of difference, as he was able to draw strength from their shared experiences and insights.



6. Spiritual Growth and Faith

Perhaps the most profound aspect of Mike’s journey was the rekindling of his faith. During his struggles, he often felt distant from God, but through counseling and the support of his church community, he began to explore his relationship with Christ again.



Reading Scripture, particularly verses that emphasized God’s love and forgiveness, such as Isaiah 41:10, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God,” provided Mike with reassurance and hope. Prayer became a powerful tool for him to release his worries and fears to God, fostering a sense of peace and grounding that countered his anxiety.



7. Establishing Healthy Routines

Mike learned that structure and routine were critical in combating his negative mindset. He established a daily schedule that included time for work, exercise, support group meetings, prayer, and self-care. By creating predictable patterns in his life, he reduced the uncertainty that often led to anxiety and compulsive behaviors.

Routine also allowed him to set and achieve small goals, whether it was reading a book, preparing healthy meals, or attending a recovery meeting. Each accomplishment built his confidence, reinforcing a positive mindset and diminishing the power of negative thoughts.

Final Thoughts

Mike’s journey illustrates that overcoming a negative mindset is not a solitary endeavor; it requires a multifaceted approach. Through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Accelerated Resolution Therapy, mindfulness practices, physical activity, community support, spiritual growth, and establishing healthy routines, he was able to reclaim control over his thoughts and behaviors.

By understanding that healing is a process that takes time and effort, Mike has learned to view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. His story serves as a powerful reminder that, with the right support and strategies, it is possible to overcome the shadows of the past and embrace a brighter future filled with hope and healing.

Monday, March 24, 2025

Spring Toward Forgiveness

Monday, March 24, 2025 @ 11:44 AM

Spring Toward Forgiveness

“You’re Bambi,” my dearly departed husband loved to tease when someone hurt my feelings or took advantage of me.

Not the most endearing of pet names, but Bambi accurately described my nature – vulnerable, sensitive, and a bit naïve to the predatory hunters of this world. And yet, like Bambi, I also returned into spring after surviving many winter tragedies, like my mother’s untimely death when I was a doe-eyed young adult.

Given the frequency and severity of many predators’ attempts to harm me (physically, emotionally, financially, and socially), I have developed a thicker hide and a greater capacity for forgiveness, a process that helps me find inner peace.

My Path to Forgiveness
Over the years, my Bambi nature has become both a blessing and a curse. On the blessing side, kindred spirits behold me as a safe confidante; on the curse side, malicious predators eye me as a bully target.

Don’t get me wrong. Like a deer, I can abandon my normal peaceful stance when I perceive a serious threat, particularly one I find morally objectionable. The deer hunter on my path usually freezes in the headlights because I don’t lash out in anger. Instead, I attack with cold logic and indisputable facts, generally resulting in the hunter’s quiet, unrepentant retreat – necessitating my need to forgive.

Fortunately, I am a psychologist who actively bucks mental health stigma and openly seeks counseling and spiritual direction. Consequently, I learned to let go of petty annoyances quickly so only the serious offenses rented space in my mind, and usually for only one winter season.
However, shortly after our wedding, my late husband and I were pommeled with assaults that ultimately contributed to his untimely death four years later.

Alone in the dangerous forest, my wounds from those assaults festered to the point of causing emotional distress, mental fog, physical ailments and crisis of faith. During the middle of a long “dark night of the soul,” I eventually discerned God’s call to forgive. “Here I am, Lord,” was my slow but steady response as I returned to regular faith practice, while seeking spiritual direction for help with forgiveness and grief counseling to address many losses.

After a year, my return to spring became evident. I lost 80 pounds, resumed writing, volunteered, made my stage debut in a community theater production and pursued a plethora of social activities. As a result, my functional depression lifted, my anger dissipated, and my spirit brightened – all because I actively pursued the practice of forgiveness. So, here I share tips on when and how to forgive.

When to Forgive
In my personal experience and professional practice, I have observed common signs when someone needs to forgive.

Rumination
Persistent focus on past grievances with no shift in attitude

Misplaced Anger
Also termed displaced anger, where a minor incident blows up into a horrible yelling match (or worse) while the real issue remains unaddressed, often fueling further incidents

Rage
Exploding with anger at the mere mention of the offending party

Prejudice
Generalizing one bad experience with one group member to an entire group

Low Self Esteem
Often indicative of the need to forgive oneself

Spiritual Problems
Impaired relationship with God and reduced/abandoned faith practices

Physical Ailments
Headaches, GI distress, back problems, heart palpitations, hypertension

Cognitive Impairments
Poor attention, memory lapses, disorganization, poor time management

Psychological Issues
Anxiety, addiction (substances or activities like work), depression, insomnia

How to Forgive
Here are tips on pursuing the forgiveness process.

Address the offense and grieve the related losses.
Often when others hurt us, we lose something – maybe our idealistic world view, our reputation, our supportive herd, our resources or our pride. It is important to clarify and acknowledge the suffering caused by the offending parties. Although this is best accomplished through talking to a trusted person or group, it can be achieved through writing or artistic expression.

Stand up to Predators!
We should never allow ourselves to be used or abused. If trapped in such a situation, please seek professional help. We all can call upon the power animal that resides within us. Remember that forgiveness is never about tolerating evil behavior. It is about letting go of the toxic remains from sinful transgressions we have suffered.

Always acknowledge, “There but for the grace of God go I.”
Conduct a moral inventory of your misdeeds and consider the reasons you caused harm to others in your past. Often, we may not be fully aware of the impact our actions have on others. Remember, we all have a predator within us. This can help us to view others with less judgment.

Put things in perspective.
Taking the plank out of our own eyes will help us to discern the speck in the other person’s eye. Perhaps physical pain or emotional upset distracted the party in the wrong. Not many of us humans can emulate Bambi’s mother’s altruism as she urged her beloved son to seek safety shortly before she got shot.

Ask if it is truly worth the upset?
Consider if this issue will matter in a week, month, or next spring. If not, let it go. Sometimes, a little humor can shed some light on the matter.

Communicate your hurt.
People often have little awareness of the impact their words and deeds have on others. Sometimes, a simple statement or request may resolve the problem. If the hunter persists, you know you took the high path and did your part, even if the relationship is too harmful to sustain.
Recognize other’s limitations.

So often, my clients complain about narcissistic family members or friends. By definition, people with this disorder are emotionally immature and lack the capacity to empathize or understand another person’s perspective. Unlike Bambi’s mother, they can only view situations from their own self-centered world view.

Lower the bar.
Not everyone will be as perfect as you perceive yourself to be. Cut them some slack. If the offenses are minor, consider sending them a card with words of endearment.

View the situation globally.
Often, hurtful situations may yield positive results in the long run. Getting fired from that dead-end job may be God’s nudge to pursue His work. Regardless, use the season of spring to seek new opportunities to serve Our Lord.

Note that forgiveness does not require reconciliation.
Some relationships are simply toxic and best avoided. If someone leads you astray from your sacred values, cut the ties. All God’s creatures thrive with loving, respectful and healing connections.
Pray for the people who hurt you.

Yes, yes – easier said than done. A good prayer formula is “I forgive (insert name) from the bottom of my heart, and I humbly ask God to bless them” You may need to repeat this prayer seventy times seven times before you can say it with the sincerity of a deer. Explore this website and read this excellent book for more ideas on forgiveness.

Start this season of spring with a mustard seed of forgiveness in your heart. Fawn over it and watch it grow into a dearly beloved bush of faith, hope and love, the true essence of Bambi.

Copyright © Jessica Loftus, 2025

Check out this upcoming workshop.
Shed Your Bad Habits for Good
https://www.easywaystoeasestress.com
Deer image is under license from Shutterstock.com

Sunday, March 23, 2025

Introducing the Intersection of Christian Faith and Counseling

Sunday, March 23, 2025 @ 6:52 PM

In the nuanced journey of human life, our spiritual beliefs often serve as the bedrock of our existence, influencing our perspectives, decisions, and coping mechanisms. For many, Christian faith is a source of strength, hope, and guidance through life's tumultuous seas. Simultaneously, the field of counseling has established itself as a crucial mechanism for addressing and navigating mental health challenges. When these two powerful forces—Christian faith and counseling—intersect, they create a profound synergy that can offer holistic healing and growth. This blog post explores the burgeoning relationship between Christian faith and mental health practices and the transformative potential it holds.

A Confluence of Faith and Therapy

The integration of Christian faith with counseling practices is rooted in the understanding that human beings are not just physical entities requiring psychological insight but are also spiritual beings with deep-seated beliefs and values. This approach does not dilute the significance of therapeutic principles. Instead, it enriches the counseling process by incorporating an individual's faith into their healing journey.

Holistic Healing: Mind, Body, and Spirit

One of the primary tenets of incorporating Christian faith into counseling is the acknowledgment of the person as a holistic being. This perspective aligns with the Christian view of the human person, intricately composed of mind, body, and spirit, all of which interact and influence one another. Counseling that incorporates Christian faith seeks to address and nurture each of these components, offering a more comprehensive form of healing and growth.

The Power of Faith-Based Coping

Christian faith introduces unique coping mechanisms into the therapeutic process. Prayer, meditation on Scripture, and the cultivation of a personal relationship with God can offer profound comfort and guidance. These practices do not replace therapeutic techniques but complement them, providing individuals with additional resources for dealing with life’s challenges.

Community and Connection

Another significant aspect of combining Christian faith with counseling is the emphasis on community. The Christian doctrine places a strong emphasis on fellowship and support among believers. This principle extends naturally into the counseling process, encouraging individuals to seek and offer support within their faith communities. This not only amplifies their support network but also reinforces the interconnectedness between personal healing and communal well-being.

Ethical Considerations and Client-Centric Approach

The intersection of Christian faith and counseling requires navigating with sensitivity and respect. It demands that counselors, whether they share the client's faith or not, approach each case with an open mind and a clear understanding of ethical boundaries. The goal is to support the client’s faith journey in a way that respects their belief system without imposing the counselor's own beliefs. Ensuring that the integration of faith is client-driven—aligned with their needs, consent, and comfort level—is paramount.

The Challenges Ahead

While the integration of Christian faith and counseling opens new vistas for healing, it also presents challenges. These include navigating the diverse expressions of Christian faith, respecting differing theological viewpoints, and continually balancing professional and spiritual insights. Ongoing education, both in theology and psychology, is essential for counselors walking this path, ensuring they are equipped to provide ethical, respectful, and effective support.

Empirical Support and Future Directions

Emerging research supports the efficacy of integrating Christian faith into counseling, highlighting improvements in emotional well-being, resilience, and personal growth. As this field grows, so does the need for a broader dialogue between mental health professionals and faith leaders, fostering mutual understanding and collaboration that can enhance the support provided to individuals navigating mental health challenges.

Conclusion: A Journey of Faith and Healing

The intersection of Christian faith and counseling represents a promising frontier in the pursuit of holistic healing. It acknowledges the complex, multifaceted nature of human existence, offering an approach that nurtures the mind, body, and spirit. For individuals rooted in Christian faith, this integration offers a path that aligns with their deepest values, encouraging healing and growth that resonates with their spiritual journey.

As we continue to explore this intersection, we embrace not only the potential for profound personal transformation but also the opportunity to deepen our collective understanding of what it means to live well. In grounding counseling practices in the rich soil of Christian faith, we open the door to a form of healing that is both deeply personal and expansively communal, offering hope and renewal to those on the journey toward wholeness.

Wednesday, March 12, 2025

A Way Where There Seems to be No Way

Wednesday, March 12, 2025 @ 8:23 PM

When healing from addiction or betrayal trauma feels impossible, God makes a way. This Bible study, 'A Way Where There Seems to Be No Way,' offers scriptural encouragement and practical reflection for those struggling with sexual addiction or the pain of betrayal. Designed for individuals and couples, this resource provides guided questions, biblical wisdom, and hope-filled insights to help navigate the journey of recovery with faith. Perfect for counselors, churches, and support groups looking for a Christ-centered approach to healing. New bible studies/reflections are posted weekly on Landmark Christian Counseling's website.

Christian Trauma Informed Therapy

Wednesday, March 12, 2025 @ 4:47 PM

Acorn clinicians provide high quality, trauma informed care for adults, families, and children. What is trauma informed counseling? It means our clinicians have advanced education and supervision to address the yucky things that have happened to you and your family.

Dr Pam provides Safe and Sound protocol which enhances feelings of safety at home and in session. Christy provides EMDR treatment which helps to decrease the distress caused by the negative experiences.

Learn more about each modality by clicking on the pictures!

#traumainformedtreatment #therapy #adulttherapy #childtherapy #emdr #safeandsoundprotocol #ssp
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XFs5zQ3A_EVDFusYS3PPwd8T6vIjwiUX/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IG4Pl6872JsQmGNSvFwqG_YdM0GGuxBB/view?usp=sharing
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1-84KGGhXLCwazy8u1gt_nlaW8skn_CpU/view?usp=sharing

Tuesday, February 25, 2025

Do you know you are a triune being?

Tuesday, February 25, 2025 @ 2:45 PM

Do you know you are a triune being?
Just as God is a triune being—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—we, too, are created in His image with three parts: spirit, soul, and body (1 Thessalonians 5:23). Each part plays a unique role in our lives and must be nourished properly.
1. Spirit – This is the eternal part of us that connects with God. When we accept Christ, our spirit is made alive, and we are in communion with Him (John 3:6).
2. Soul – This includes our mind, will, and emotions. It is where we make decisions, process thoughts, and experience emotions.
3. Body – This is our physical vessel, the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). It allows us to interact with the physical world.
Just as God’s three persons work in harmony, our spirit, soul, and body must be aligned under God's will for us to live a balanced and fulfilled life. That’s why it’s so important to feed each part with the right nourishment.
How do you ensure all three parts are healthy and in alignment with God's will?
Just as we are called to be mindful of how we nourish our spirit, soul, and body, we should aim to "feed" each of these areas in ways that align with God's Word. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Feeding My Spirit (Connection with God)
• Prayer & Worship – Spending time in conversation with God through prayer and worshiping Him strengthens our spirit. It is important to note this needs to be individual as well as in a corporate setting
• Reading Scripture – The Bible is my spiritual food (Matthew 4:4). It provides wisdom, encouragement, and truth, and the truth sets us free.
• Fellowship – Engaging with other Godly believers who are strong in the Lord helps keep our spirit strong (Hebrews 10:25).
2. Feeding My Soul (Mind, Will, and Emotions)
• Renewing My Mind – Filter what you read, watch, and listen to, making sure it aligns with God’s truth (Romans 12:2).
• Managing Emotions Through God’s Peace – Instead of letting emotions control me, we need to surrender them to God in prayer (Philippians 4:6-7).
• Lifelong Learning – Reading books, listening to sermons, and learning new things keep our minds sharp.
3. Feeding My Body (Physical Health)
• Eating Healthy Foods – Aiming to eat foods that give us energy and strength to do God's work.
• Exercise & Rest – Moving our bodies and getting enough rest ensures we have the stamina for life’s demands.
• Respecting My Body as God’s Temple – Avoiding harmful substances and habits that could damage my body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).
When all three—spirit, soul, and body—are properly nourished and aligned with God's will, we experience peace, joy, and purpose.
How are you feeding each of these areas in your life? 😊
Not sure what to do? You can reach out today for a free 15-minute phone consultation (772-446-1922) or check out my website at https://caterpillarcounseling.webflow.io/therapy

Sunday, February 2, 2025

Finding Solace in Faith: Can Depression Make You Physically Ill?

Sunday, February 2, 2025 @ 5:12 PM

It's a quiet struggle, often hidden behind half-smiles and hollow greetings — depression. The whispers of this unseen burden travel far beyond the confines of our minds, infiltrating every part of our being, including our physical health. As Christians, we stand on the promises of God to guide us through the shadowy valleys, yet we sometimes wonder, can depression indeed make us sick? This is a question that beckons for understanding, compassion, and the wisdom of the Lord.

The Weight of Depression

The Psalmist writes in Psalms 42:11, "Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?" These words echo across time, resonating with many who suffer in silence. Modern research confirms that the impact of depression can transcend mental anguish to manifest in physical ailments. The mind and body are intricately woven together by God's design, and when the spirit is heavy with sorrow, the body may also bear the burden.

The Physical Symptomatology of Depression

Proverbs 17:22 tells us, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Indeed, a spirit oppressed by depression can lead to a host of physical symptoms that compound our daily challenges. Digestive issues, headaches, chronic pain, and even heart disease have been linked to long-term depression. The stress hormones released during depressive episodes can suppress the immune system, making the body more susceptible to infections and illnesses.

Embracing God’s Promise of Healing

In the midst of this, it is vital to remember the promises God makes to us. Jeremiah 17:14 pleads, "Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise." As Christians, we acknowledge that we are not immune to suffering, but we are reassured that the Lord stands with us in our darkest moments. In seeking treatment for depression, we are not exhibiting a lack of faith; rather, we are taking concrete steps towards the healing that God desires for us.

Seeking Help as a Step of Faith

James 5:14-15 encourages us, "Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up." We can take these verses both literally and figuratively. It is both a call to seek God's direct intervention and an encouragement to reach out for help within the body of Christ, which can include the assistance of medical professionals. Utilizing therapy, medication, or counseling alongside prayer and spiritual support can be a holistic approach to tackling the symptoms of depression.

Lifestyle Changes Inspired by Scripture

Adopting a healthier lifestyle can be one approach to mitigating the physical effects of depression. In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, we are reminded that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. Ensuring adequate rest, nutrition, and exercise not only honors this temple but can also improve mood and reduce stress. Balancing our lifestyle with time for meditation on God's word, fellowship with believers, and personal rest can lead to a stronger, healthier state of being.

Community and Connection

Galatians 6:2 says, "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." By sharing our struggles with trusted members of our congregation or support groups, we can alleviate the weight of depression. The understanding, companionship, and shared prayers can be a balm for both the soul and the body.

An Ever-Present Hope

As we navigate the ebbs and flows of mental health, let us not lose sight of our ever-present hope in Christ. Romans 15:13 blesses us with this assurance, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Our faith informs us that with God, there is always a path through the wilderness of depression, a path that leads to restoration and health.

Enduring Through Faith

To our brothers and sisters in Christ who wonder if depression can make you sick, the answer is yes — but this is not the end of your story. With faith as our cornerstone and our belief in a God who restores, we find the strength to seek healing in all its forms. Remember, you are never walking alone; through the darkest valley, His rod and His staff, they comfort us. Together, let us strive forward in faith, affirming that our God is greater than any affliction, and in Him, we find the ultimate comfort and cure. Amen.

Thursday, January 30, 2025

Resilience and Empowerment Counseling Group

Thursday, January 30, 2025 @ 8:42 PM

Unlock your inner strength! Join our Resilience and Empowerment Counseling Group Therapy. It's a safe space where you're listened to, understood, and empowered to overcome. Let's grow together.

Starts Tuesday, February 25,6-7:30 pm EST

10-week program

6-8 participants

Weekly meetings, 90 minutes per session

Virtual Meetings

Call 443-860-6870 or email elishaslee@counselingmail.com for more information

Is Therapy for You?

Thursday, January 30, 2025 @ 11:25 AM

To help you decide here are a few questions: Feeling off? Lacking motivation? Not being heard? Unsure of your feelings? If you answered yes to any of these questions therapy may be for you.

Seeking help can give you the tools and support to navigate life's challenges. It offers a safe space to explore your feelings, work through personal issues, and develop strategies to improve your overall well-being.

Therapy can help with stress, anxiety, depression, relationship issues, and other concerns. It is also useful for major life changes of self-understanding. Therapy provides a safe confidential space to explore your thoughts and feelings.

If you would like more information please book a free 15-minute consultation with me, a therapist who specializes in transformation and healing. (772-446-1922)

Monday, January 13, 2025

Stress reducing exercise: just 15 minutes a day!

Monday, January 13, 2025 @ 3:27 PM

Jeanne Bjorklund

It is the inevitable by-product of living in a technologically-dependent, socially-connected, and minute-managed world that peace and calm get left in the wake. Texts, emails and cell-phone calls fly in faster and more frequently than a speeding bullet. It seems there is hardly a moment in the day when we’re not busy managing the demands of work, family and our increasingly larger social world that no longer can be shut out of our lives even for a few minutes. We can no longer close the door behind us and expect that the world will be left outside. Though staying connected is important, it is no more valuable than time alone to calm our thoughts and our bodies, to restore energy and peace, and to reduce the ravages of stress. And, you have a right to a few minutes to yourself! You can decide to make time alone an equal priority. Try this 15-minute a day refresher:
First: Establish a quiet place in your home. Use a candle, a cross, icon or other meaningful symbol for focus. Pick a book of short devotional thoughts or spiritual / Scriptural readings. Decide if you want to sit or kneel and prepare your place accordingly with a pillow, mat or stool. When it is time, go to your quiet place and wait silently for a moment; breathe…relax…gently focus or close your eyes. After awhile read your devotion then be quiet again and let the thoughts settle in….pray….don’t leave quickly, but quietly move back into your day.
1. 5 minutes in the morning: How you begin your day is most important! Almost every important religious tradition speaks to the necessity of starting the day correctly. After one of the busiest days recorded in Jesus’ ministry, the next morning the disciples found him out alone, having risen early to pray. Get up just 5 minutes earlier and spend it in quietude and you will come to see what a difference it will make!
2. 5 minutes at lunch: If at home, go to your quiet place again or find some place at work where you can retreat for just 5 minutes. Go there around noon and shut out all thoughts of work. Sit quietly, eyes closed, and body relaxed. Breathe gently and just think about your breath. Recall, if you wish, the truths of your early morning devotion. Keep your thoughts away from work, problems, or “to-do”s. For a few minutes, just be at peace. End with a simple prayer of thanksgiving and then resume your day’s activities.
3. 5 minutes to end the day: As the day ends, return for just a few moments to your quiet place. After your few moments of relaxing, focusing and breathing you may want to give thanks as you recall the day just past. Briefly examine your conscience and pray, clearing it of all that disturbs you.
Try using this 15-minute a day refresher for a month and see if your sense of peace and calm have increased and stress decreased. You’re worth it!