Christian Counselor Directory Blog

Restoring the Whole Self: Integrating Somatic Psychotherapy with Christian Counseling

In our fast-paced and often fragmented world, healing is increasingly recognized as needing to engage not only the mind and spirit but the body as well. This holistic view is foundational to both somatic psychotherapy and Christian counseling. By integrating the two, individuals can experience a deeper, more embodied transformation that honors both their physical and spiritual realities.

What Is Somatic Psychotherapy?


Somatic psychotherapy is a body-centered approach to mental health. It recognizes that trauma and emotional pain are often stored not just in the mind, but in the nervous system and musculature of the body. Techniques such as breath work, grounding exercises, movement, and body awareness are used to help clients release tension, process trauma, and reconnect with their embodied self.

This approach is rooted in neuroscience and trauma research, particularly the understanding that the body often “remembers” what the mind may forget or suppress. Somatic therapy helps clients become aware of these embodied memories and sensations and gently work through them in a safe and supportive environment.



The Christian Perspective: Healing Through Christ


Christian counseling, on the other hand, is rooted in biblical principles. It acknowledges the spiritual dimension of human beings and centers healing in the person of Jesus Christ. Through Scripture, prayer, forgiveness, and grace, Christian counseling offers hope and redemption. It addresses the deep spiritual wounds that may underlie emotional or relational struggles.

Christian theology affirms that humans are integrated beings—body, soul, and spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:23). Therefore, a Christian framework for counseling naturally aligns with the holistic ethos of somatic therapy.



Why Integrate the Two?


When Christian faith and somatic practices are integrated, a profound and compassionate form of healing becomes possible. Many Christians experience guilt, anxiety, or shame that is held deeply in their bodies—especially when faith and emotions feel disconnected. Somatic practices can help clients locate those tensions and bring them to the surface, where they can be addressed with both therapeutic insight and spiritual truth.

For example, someone struggling with anxiety might discover that certain physical sensations (tight chest, clenched jaw) are connected to fear-based beliefs or past trauma. Through somatic techniques, they can safely explore those sensations while grounding themselves in God’s promises—such as “Do not fear, for I am with you” (Isaiah 41:10).



Core Practices of Integration


Here are a few ways somatic psychotherapy can be woven into Christian counseling:

Breath Prayer: Combining breathwork with prayer (e.g., inhaling “Lord Jesus Christ,” exhaling “have mercy on me”) calms the nervous system while focusing the mind on God’s presence.
Embodied Scripture Meditation: Instead of reading Scripture cognitively, clients are invited to sit with a verse, notice bodily sensations, and listen for the Spirit’s prompting in their inner experience.
Body Awareness and Discernment: Clients learn to tune into their physical responses during decision-making, helping them discern God’s peace or warning signals not just intellectually but bodily.
Forgiveness Work: Forgiveness is central to Christian counseling, and somatic work can help clients release stored anger, grief, or shame that remains physically held in the body.


Challenges and Considerations


Integrating these two approaches requires sensitivity and discernment. Not all somatic practices are appropriate for every client, especially those unfamiliar or uncomfortable with body-based work. Similarly, Christian counselors must ensure that somatic methods are used in a way that honors biblical truth and doesn’t drift into spiritual practices incompatible with Christian theology.

Ethical, theological, and clinical boundaries must be clearly maintained. Collaboration between trained somatic therapists and Christian counselors—or professionals trained in both—can make this integration safer and more effective.

Conclusion: Embodied Redemption


The God of Scripture is deeply concerned with the body. Jesus came in a body, healed bodies, and was resurrected in a glorified body. Somatic psychotherapy, when grounded in Christ-centered truth, can be a powerful companion to Christian counseling. Together, they point toward a holistic vision of healing—where mind, body, and spirit are reconciled and restored through the love of God.

For those seeking freedom from emotional and spiritual burdens, this integrated approach offers hope: not just to think differently or feel better, but to live fully, with Christ in every breath, every movement, and every step forward.

When Christian couples enter marriage, they carry expectations about their relationship. I remember thinking that since both my wife and I loved God deeply, our marriage would naturally flow with grace and harmony. The reality proved far more challenging, shattering my preconceptions about Christian marriage. Many christian couples face this same disorienting experience, wondering how two people devoted to God can struggle so intensely with conflict and hurt.

This disconnect between expectations and reality creates a profound spiritual and emotional crisis for Christian couples. When they can't find peace in their marriage, it shakes the very foundation of their faith. If the conflict persists, they often build emotional walls, not just with each other but also in their relationship with God, attempting to protect themselves by withdrawing into isolation and emotional distance.
As the distance grows between spouses, each becomes increasingly convinced of their own perspective's legitimacy. They begin viewing their partner's actions through an increasingly critical lens, sometimes even questioning their spouse's character or mental health with labels like (ADHD, Aspergers, Narcissism). Both partners can fall into this pattern of negative interpretation. When they finally seek Christian marriage counseling, each often hopes the counselor will simply correct their spouse's behavior.

But I want to present a different vision of Christian marriage

counseling: instead of focusing solely on who is right and who is wrong in the relationship, we emphasize relational integration and healing.
Our deep need for connection mirrors God's image within us. Marriage unites two individuals in an interpersonal journey, and it's precisely within this interpersonal space that many Christian marriages face their greatest challenges.

The core issue often stems from a lack of emotional intelligence in Christian couples. Many believers struggle to process their own negative emotions, particularly anger, and consequently feel overwhelmed when facing their spouse's strong feelings. This emotional illiteracy leads couples to argue against each other's emotional experiences as if emotions themselves represented absolute truth. However, emotions express personal experience rather than define reality. Even Jesus experienced emotions but never let them drive His decisions; instead, He consistently responded through virtuous principles. The first step toward marriage restoration requires Christian couples to develop emotional intelligence – understanding the proper role of emotions in their personal lives and marriage relationship.

This emotional foundation enables the development of what I term relational intelligence – the ability to communicate effectively and directly within the relationship leading to intimacy. Without emotional intelligence as a foundation, couples cannot achieve true relational intelligence. And without both these crucial elements working together, healthy conflict resolution remains out of reach. Through Christian marriage counseling, couples can develop these essential skills, transforming their relationship from a source of pain into a testament of God's healing power.
In our Christian marriage counseling program, The Marriage Rescue Institute, we guide couples through a transformative 12-week journey. This process helps them develop essential emotional intelligence, relational intelligence, and conflict resolution skills to rebuild their marriage on the pillar principles of healthy relationships. These core competencies form the bedrock of lasting marital restoration.

Throughout our experience working with married couples, we've seen couples who faced separation, struggled with infidelity, or believed their spouse exhibited narcissistic traits heal and restore their marriage. Often, couples see the immediate problems from disagreements; like finances, parenting, fidelity, and trust, as the core problems, not realizing that there is an underlying process that is subverting their ability to build a healthy marriage. These types of couples almost always find success in our marriage program, especially if they are both committed to the process.
As a Marriage Therapist and a father blessed with four children, I hold an unwavering belief in the inherent worthiness of marriage. If your marriage feels broken, we want you to know that the Marriage Rescue Institute is in the habit of putting broken marriages back together. Hold on to hope, we can equip you with the emotional intelligence, relational wisdom, and conflict resolution skills needed for a thriving marriage. Perhaps you believe your situation lies beyond hope, but God's restoration power knows no limits. Through Christian marriage counseling, we've helped reunite couples separated by infidelity and witnessed their relationships flourish long after therapy ends. Let us partner with you in facing these challenges! If you're barely holding on, keep hope alive! I believe that your marriage is worth saving, but do you?

Join us for a transformative 12-week program designed to strengthen family bonds and address the root causes of conflict and dysfunction. This program is ideal for families, especially those with children aged 12 and up, who are eager to work together in a confidential and supportive space towards collective healing and mutual understanding.

Upcoming Sessions:
• Regularly convening on Sundays, beginning September 21, from 6:00 PM to 7:30 PM EST.
• Please mark your calendars for additional dates: Tuesday, September 30 (7:00 PM - 8:30 PM EST) and Thursday, November 6 (6:00 PM - 7:30 PM EST).

Duration:
• Each online session lasts for 90 minutes.
Venue:
• Hosted on Zoom for your convenience.

Participation Fee:
• A one-time investment of $500 per family unit.

Early Registration Offer:
• Families can save $50 by registering at least 4 weeks early.

Flexible Payment:
• Half of the fee is due prior to the first session, and the remaining balance is due by session three.

Space is Limited:
• To ensure a quality experience, the program is capped at 8 family units.
Secure your spot now for an opportunity to transform your family's relationships.

Learn More:
https://www.restoringyouchristiancounseling.com/circle-of-hop

Pre-Registration Form
https://www.restoringyouchristiancounseling.com/circle-of-hop

Are you and your partner feeling disconnected amidst the chaos of daily life? Do conflicts and misunderstandings seem to be the norm rather than the exception in your relationship? It's time to change the narrative. "Together Strong" is an immersive 6-week couples counseling group designed to transform your communication, deepen your emotional connection, and foster a healthier, happier relationship.

When: Monday, September 15, 4:00 - 6:00 PM EST

Duration: 2 Hours per Session

Platform: Zoom

Investment: $450 per couple

Group Size: Limited to 12 couples

Next Step:

Registration:

https://docs.google.com/forms/u/2/d/e/1FAIpQLSfnfn8xCxFHP1eJlW441alLP5eMjS-G0C1RSncgcCIAIl9tBw/viewform?usp=preview

Contact:
phone 443-860-6870
email info@restoringyouchristiancounseling.com

How is your Communication Quotient? How good is your communication with your staff, coworkers parents, kids and spouse? Answering these following questions may help you determine how you’re doing in leadership and life.

1. Do you own your statements? In other words are you talking about how you feel or perceive the situation rather than stating everything as a fact?

2. Are you making other people responsible for how you think and how you feel? This is frequently called blaming and shaming.

3. Do you believe that other people are responsible FOR you, your feelings or your life?

4. Do you believe that you are responsible FOR other people, their feelings, or their life?

5. Do you know in which ways you are responsible TO other people?

6. Are you good at listening and really good at hearing what other people feel and perceive?

7. Are you getting accountability and feedback about how you come across to other people?

8. How are you at slowing down anger in yourself and others?

9. How might your attachment and entitlement issues be affecting your relationships and communication with others?

10. Are you communicating from one up or one down position to other people thus being intimidated by them or intimidating them?


If you’re having trouble answering these questions, it may mean your CQ is not the best it could be. Reach out and ask for help and feedback from friends, a counselor or a coach. Remember Scriptures admonition: My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry- James 1:19

For many empaths and survivors of narcissistic abuse, stepping into your full power in business, relationships, and life can feel like an overwhelming challenge. The weight of shame, victimhood, and self-doubt often keeps us hiding, waiting for the moment we feel "good enough" to show up. Today, I experienced a profound shift in healing deep layers of these wounds, particularly in how I relate to the masculine and my business. By confronting the pain of childhood emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse, I uncovered how these experiences shaped my fear of being seen and my tendency to perform for validation. If you’ve felt trapped by similar patterns, this guide offers actionable steps to heal from narcissistic abuse, reconnect with your true self, and build a life and business rooted in authenticity and alignment with God’s plan. Optimized for low to medium competition keywords like "healing narcissistic abuse," "overcoming shame in business," and "authentic self in relationships," this post is for anyone ready to break free and embrace their inherent worth.

Understanding the Roots of Shame and Victimhood

Narcissistic abuse—whether from a parent, partner, or authority figure—leaves deep emotional scars that can linger for years. For me, growing up with constant criticism and invalidation ("you’re not good enough," "you don’t know anything") created a core belief that I had to prove my worth. This led to patterns of victimhood and shame, especially in how I approached relationships with the masculine and my business. I carried the pain of emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse from my father, which made me hesitant to take risks or fully express myself. Instead of connecting authentically, I hid behind performance, trying to control how others perceived me to avoid rejection.

If this sounds familiar, know that these patterns are not your identity—they’re survival mechanisms developed to cope with prolonged trauma. Narcissistic abuse often leads to hypervigilance, people-pleasing, or dissociation, where you disconnect from your pain to feel safe. These behaviors can show up as avoiding risks in business, fearing criticism from clients, or expecting hurt in relationships. Healing begins by acknowledging these wounds without judgment and recognizing how they block your ability to live authentically.

Actionable Step: Set aside 10 minutes to journal about a memory where you felt invalidated or criticized. Write down the emotions—shame, fear, or hurt—and notice how they influence your actions today, whether in business decisions or personal connections. For further insight, explore Psychology Today’s guide on narcissistic abuse to understand its long-term effects.

Breaking the Cycle of Performance

One of the most profound realizations I had today was how much I relied on performance to shield myself from pain. By seeking external validation or trying to control others’ perceptions, I disconnected from my true self. This showed up as projecting victimhood onto the masculine—expecting hurt because that’s what I knew from years of abuse—and avoiding the risks of building my business. I was so used to being criticized that I approached opportunities with wounding, assuming I’d be rejected or dismissed. Performance felt like a safe armor, but it kept me from creating authentically and aligning with my purpose.

Healing from narcissistic abuse means dismantling these false structures and embracing your inherent worth. For me, this involved sitting with the pain of past abuse, grieving the years I spent hiding, and letting go of the need to manipulate how I’m perceived. By doing so, I began to connect with my deeper self, trusting that my journey—messy and imperfect—is enough. This shift allows you to create from a place of authenticity, whether you’re launching a business, marketing your services, or building relationships.

Actionable Step: Practice a somatic exercise like deep breathing or body scanning to reconnect with your body and release stored pain. The Greater Good Science Center offers mindfulness practices that can help you stay present and move away from performance-based habits. Try this for five minutes daily to ground yourself in your authentic self.

Reclaiming Power in Relationships with the Masculine

Narcissistic abuse can deeply distort how we relate to others, especially in gendered dynamics. For me, approaching the masculine with wounding—expecting hurt or rejection—was a direct result of my past. I projected my pain, assuming others would harm me because that’s what I experienced growing up. This showed up not just in personal relationships but also in my business, where I hesitated to market myself or set boundaries with clients, fearing criticism or failure.

Healing this meant owning my hurt, not closing off, but processing it so I could engage from a place of strength. It’s about recognizing that you don’t have to carry the wounds of past abuse into new interactions. By healing the shame and fear tied to those experiences, you can approach relationships—personal and professional—with confidence and clarity. This doesn’t mean everyone will align with you, but it frees you to connect authentically with those who value your true self.

Actionable Step: Reflect on a relationship (personal or professional) where you feel guarded or expect hurt. Write down one boundary you can set to protect your energy while staying open, such as declining a client’s unrealistic demand or communicating your needs clearly. For guidance on setting boundaries, check out Verywell Mind’s article on healthy boundaries.

Aligning with God’s Plan for Healing

A turning point in my healing was trusting God’s plan over my own need for control. For years, I thought I was waiting to be ready—to be good enough for business, relationships, or success. But I realized God was waiting for me to connect with myself. This shift was deeply influenced by my mother’s illness and passing, which taught me that true healing comes from surrendering to divine will. By aligning with God’s grace, I let go of the need to perform or prove myself, trusting that the right people—clients, friends, or partners—would find me.

For survivors of narcissistic abuse, this spiritual alignment can be a game-changer. It’s about knowing your worth isn’t tied to others’ approval but to your God-given purpose. This perspective helped me stop scaling my business from a place of fear and instead focus on sharing my journey authentically. Whether through prayer, meditation, or journaling, connecting to your spiritual center can guide you to release shame and step into sovereignty.

Actionable Step: Spend five minutes in prayer or meditation, asking for guidance to trust your journey. Journal any insights about how past pain might be blocking your alignment with your purpose. The Chopra Center offers guided meditations for emotional healing that can support this process.

Building a Sovereign Business as an Empath

Running a business as an empath or survivor of narcissistic abuse means letting go of perfectionism and the fear of not being liked. For me, avoiding core pain kept me from creating authentically, but healing those wounds showed me that my story—overcoming CPTSD, codependency, and shame—is enough. You don’t need to share every detail of your life, just like in dating; you only need to show up as your true self, trusting that your journey will resonate with those who need it.

This sovereignty extends to health and wealth creation. The shame from abuse can make you feel powerless around money or success, but by healing these layers, you reclaim your ability to build a thriving business. Being part of a Christian community provided me with practical business tools and spiritual support, reinforcing that my work is part of a divine plan. Whether you’re creating a course, coaching clients, or sharing your story, focus on authenticity over performance.

Actionable Step: Create a small offering—like a blog post, workshop, or social media share—based on one aspect of your healing journey. Focus on authenticity, not perfection. For business tips tailored to empaths, explore Entrepreneur’s guide to emotional intelligence.

Moving Forward with Authentic Expression

Healing from narcissistic abuse is about connecting with your true self, not performing for others. It’s about sitting with the pain, releasing the shame, and trusting that you are enough. For me, this meant letting go of the need to control perceptions and instead sharing my story of healing trauma and finding worth. It’s not about scaling a business or building relationships from fear, but from alignment with God and self.

If you’re feeling stuck, isolated, or disconnected, know that this may be a season where God is calling you to find yourself. Authentic relationships—with clients, friends, or partners—start with that connection to your true self. By healing the wounds of narcissistic abuse, you can step into your power, create a soul-aligned business, and live with the freedom of knowing you’re enough.

Call to Action: Share one part of your healing journey in the comments below or with a trusted friend. How has letting go of shame or victimhood helped you show up in your business or relationships? For more resources on healing trauma, visit The National Center for PTSD or connect with a trauma-informed therapist to support your journey. Book a free consultation here

Christian Families: How an Open-Screen Policy Can Enhance Your Relationship and Protect Your Family

What Does a Healthy Open-Screen Policy Actually Look Like?

There are many conflicting messages about cellphone usage in relationships. Some argue that your phone is your personal property and your spouse should not have access. Others advocate for complete transparency, with both partners having full access to each other’s phones, even before marriage.

Transparency builds trust, and trust is a foundational building block of any relationship. Without it, intimacy cannot fully exist. For intimacy to thrive in a marriage or serious long-term relationship, it must remain exclusive between two people. In a healthy Christian marriage, there should be no such thing as a private, secret online life.

Part of protecting a relationship is for both spouses to honor each other with their screen use. This means not engaging in private conversations with the opposite sex, not viewing pornography or lewd social media, not checking up on former partners, and being mindful of what is watched on TV or online.

Private screens often lead to secrecy and infidelity, while an open-screen policy creates accountability. Husbands should be honored to demonstrate years of clean history, and wives should also be free and proud to display their digital activities.

Wait, Isn’t This Abusive or Controlling?

No. An open-screen policy is not abusive or controlling. It should be based on mutual consent and a shared desire to build emotional safety. It must be equal. Both partners should have the same level of access and control. Both should understand how accountability software works on their devices.

This policy is not recommended in abusive relationships where one partner enforces it without the other’s consent or without reciprocating access. Consent is essential.

Often, resistance to transparency comes from a spouse who has something to hide. Claiming that openness is controlling can be a tactic to prevent accountability. Requesting full access to a spouse’s phone is acceptable in a committed relationship. Emotional safety is cultivated when couples do not have to wonder what their partner is doing in secret.

Shouldn’t We Just Trust Each Other?

Trust is central to marriage. An open device policy provides a way to actively demonstrate trustworthiness. It reassures your spouse that you are being faithful and that you are committed to protecting the relationship from external threats.

Accountability reports from your devices eliminate uncertainty and stress. An open policy strengthens trust by confirming your commitment to transparency.

This Is Where Healing Begins

For couples recovering from betrayal, openness is a key part of healing. An open-screen policy gives the betrayed partner reassurance and access to their partner’s inner world. It removes the need for secrecy, accusations, or suspicion. Emotional safety should be freely offered, not chased.

Accountability software supports this process by providing clarity, but it must be consent-based. When combined with counseling or spiritual guidance, it can open the door to deeper connection and renewed trust.

Where Do I Start?

Begin with a conversation. Discuss the benefits, limitations, and expectations of an open-screen policy. Both partners must agree. Consider allowing a short grace period for each person to clear old content or make confessions. This gives the couple a fresh start.

Accountability software such as Truple can help. It takes screenshots periodically, alerts a spouse of concerning activity, and creates a record of device use. Couples can set the frequency and choose how transparent they want their reports to be. If signing up from a desktop, feel free to use our code SOJO10 for a 10% discount off the annual fee.

Some couples also agree to inform each other when they review screenshots or why. Over time, as trust grows, frequent checking often decreases naturally.

Image-blocking browsers can further support emotional safety online. Tools like Brave or Plucky allow users to block explicit images and advertisements, protecting children and reducing temptation. These tools are especially helpful for people recovering from addiction or seeking a low-stimulation online environment.

Isn’t It a Matter of the Heart? A Word to Men, From a Man

An open device policy may feel intimidating, but secrecy is far more destructive. No man sets out wanting to be trapped by pornography, lust, or shame, yet many struggle with these cycles. Objectification may feel normal, but it is not.

An open policy is not about punishment. It creates space for freedom and healing. While accountability software will not heal lust or stop intrusive thoughts by itself, it provides the structure needed to begin overcoming temptation.

Jesus taught that if something causes you to sin, remove it. Applying this principle to devices is an act of discipline and devotion. Tools like Truple create an opportunity for men to prove faithfulness and integrity, building stronger marriages and healthier families.

Infidelity, whether online or in person, is still infidelity. Repentance requires turning away from sinful behaviors. An open policy can be the first step in proving to your spouse that you are serious about change.

What Now?

Talk with your spouse about this concept. Reflect together on what it could mean for your marriage or family. If you are ready to strengthen trust, begin implementing an open-screen policy.

If you are working to rebuild trust and need support, consider reaching out to a trusted therapist or counselor to guide the process.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool in the journey of emotional healing and personal growth. Forgiveness can be both a goal and a pathway towards healing deep-seated wounds, rebuilding relationships, and fostering a sense of inner peace.

Understanding Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the act of letting go of resentment, bitterness, and thoughts of vengeance or retribution towards someone who has wronged you. It's important to note that forgiving does not mean forgetting, nor does it condone or excuse harmful behavior. Rather, forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance towards a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

The Benefits of Forgiveness in Therapy

Forgiveness can lead to profound healing and numerous health benefits. These include:

* Reduced stress and anxiety: Letting go of grudges and bitterness can lead to lower levels of stress and anxiety.
* Health improvements: Forgiveness is linked to better heart health, lower blood pressure, and a stronger immune system.
* Enhanced mental health: It can lead to improvements in depression and overall emotional well-being.
* Improved relationships: Forgiveness can heal rifts and build stronger, healthier relationships.
* Increased happiness and peace of mind: Letting go of negative emotions can lead to greater happiness, contentment, and peace.

Achieving Forgiveness in Therapy

Forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you is no simple task, but it's possible with time, patience, and effort. Below are strategies that may be explored in therapy to cultivate a forgiving heart:

1. Recognizing the Value of Forgiveness

The first step in the process of forgiveness is understanding its value and how holding onto anger and resentment impacts you physically and emotionally. Realizing that forgiveness is more about your well-being than letting the offender off the hook can be a powerful motivator.

2. Reflecting on the Situation

Counseling provides a safe space to fully explore the emotions and circumstances surrounding the need for forgiveness. Through discussion, you may gain insights into the perspective of the other person, and the context in which the hurtful events occurred, helping to create a more nuanced understanding of the situation.

3. Expressing Your Feelings

A crucial step in the forgiveness process is giving voice to your pain and anger. Counselors often encourage clients to express their feelings openly, whether through dialogue, writing letters (not necessarily to be sent), or creative expression. This can be a release, helping to ease the burden of carried emotions.

4. Committing to Forgiveness

Deciding to forgive is a significant step. This decision involves recognizing the benefits of forgiveness, both for your mental health and for the quality of your relationships. It's a commitment to moving forward, focusing on positivity and growth.

5. Developing Empathy

Understanding or empathizing with the person who hurt you can be a profound step towards forgiveness. Counseling can help explore the possibilities of why people behave in hurtful ways, which sometimes makes it easier to forgive.

6. Letting Go

A pivotal moment in the journey of forgiveness is the act of letting go. This means actively choosing to release feelings of resentment and bitterness. It's not an overnight process but a decision that might need to be reaffirmed daily.

7. Fostering Gratitude

Shifting focus from resentment to gratitude can be transformative. Recognizing and appreciating the good in your life, despite past hurts, can pave the way for a more forgiving and positive outlook.

Conclusion

The journey to forgiveness is deeply personal and can be challenging, but the benefits are undeniable. Forgiveness can liberate one from the chains of past hurts and open the doors to a renewed sense of peace and well-being. In counseling, with guidance, patience, and perseverance, forgiveness can be achieved, leading to emotional healing and enriched relationships. Remember, the act of forgiveness is a gift to yourself—a step towards a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Considering Therapy?

Hi! My name is Raishelle, I am a licensed social worker and therapist. I offer traditional and intensive therapy sessions for women, couples & families both in person and virtually. I know that considering your first therapy experience can be a big step, something you may have been contemplating for a while now. For those who have never attended a therapy session, the thought of it can seem overwhelming.

Why is it so Hard to Start Therapy?

You don’t really know what to expect, you are feeling emotionally vulnerable and whoever you meet with is essentially a stranger. Starting out on a new journey is more than intimidating and is often what keeps people from following through with scheduling a first session.

These feelings are totally normal and even expected. Being real and raw can be scary, there are things in your life you may be fearful of talking about. Or maybe you just don’t know where to start, or what to say because life has felt hard, messy and chaotic for too long. A long term commitment to weekly therapy sessions is also a major life change and investment of your very limited and precious time. If you are a busy professional with a family or a full time mom, setting aside an hour every week indefinitely probably feels unattainable. But-there is that nagging feeling, that promise you made to yourself, your spouse or your family….you know you need some extra support right now. You may have also heard from others that therapy can be a very slow process, sometimes taking weeks or months to see any real progress. Traditional therapy that lasts 45-60 minutes can be very limiting to people who feel finally ready to begin their therapeutic journey.

Is There Another Way?

This is where therapy intensives come in, a different way to begin your journey to lasting change. You get to try it out, to test out therapy without having to commit to weeks or months of sessions. You aren’t left wondering after 4-6 sessions if this is even worth your time. Asking yourself if you’re ever going to see things change. With intensive sessions, we get to go further and deeper than the traditional model of therapy allows. Intensive sessions are a more convenient way to begin the journey in therapy. You get to be in control of how much time you initially invest & if more sessions would be worth your while.

Intensives For Trauma, Stress & Burnout

Many women who have been stuck in a place they are unhappy with and who are ready for so much more finally feel like they are on a steady road to progress after their first intensive session. Women who are burnt out, who feel forced to hustle or grind and feel like they have zero time for themselves get to take a more direct route to healing. For a long time, they have engaged in a lifestyle that does not align with their morals, ethics, values, faith or their dreams of what their life should be. These women place everything and everyone above themselves, therapy intensives are a way to prioritize your own well-being and begin to work through the stressors, traumas and life events that have perpetuated cycles of unhealthy functioning.

Intensives For Families & Couples

Families & couples can benefit from intensive sessions in several ways. We see that coordination schedules for weekly therapy can be tricky. Scheduling an intensive session allows for more work to be done in a shorter time span. Often, people can feel like a traditional therapy session leaves a lot unsaid and resentment can build between sessions due to to limitations on time. Intensive sessions allow for deeper processing and for each individual to have the time they need to express their own needs and concerns.

From The First Step to Your First Session

Therapy intensives provide an opportunity for accelerated access to progress. The first contact is usually the hardest, most difficult part. You know you are ready, but there is a laundry list of reasons to put it off just a little longer. You are busy, intimidated, uncertain, fearful of judgment or rejection…I have heard them all! You finally get to put yourself first and start working on those inner conflicts that have kept you from living the life you were called to live. Once you reach out we will schedule a consult in order to explore if intensive sessions are right for you & identify what you would like work on. You will get to share what you really want to address and we will figure out how to make that happen. Next we schedule a pre-intensive meeting in order to set goals for our time together & create a structured plan that outlines time, breaks, modalities used- including somatic practices, Brainspotting, breath work, skills building, spirituality & prayer. We will discuss your strengths, resources & sources of support. We plan for your time to be respected, providing an unhurried opportunity to address your pain & life experiences. Maybe you want to meet for 90 minute sessions bi weekly or two 4 hour sessions over a weekend, there are so many ways to utilize intensive sessions. We will find the best format in order to ensure a good fit for you and your schedule. The freedom you get with intensive sessions is unmatched, you get to decide what works and what doesn’t. My desire is for you to feel empowered by the ability to go as deep as you are ready to…to really talk about & address what has been weighing heavy on you. We are breaking free from traditional models of psychotherapy and stepping into a holistic, whole person & Christ centered therapy model.

During our intensive session we will go at your pace & incorporate any level of faith that feels comfortable for you. We will have the opportunity to meet for a post intensive meeting in order to reflect on the process. If you are ready to break free of cycles that perpetuate pain & suffering, reach out for a free consultation. I am here to answer any questions or concerns you may have and explore if therapy intensive would be the right fit for your first therapy experience. I offer in person intensives in Ventura, California in addition to virtual intensive sessions throughout California, Florida & South Carolina.
Visit https://holisticchristiantherapy.com or call 424-703-3555 for a free consultation

Experiencing trauma can be one of the most profound disruptors of peace and self-compassion in one’s life. It can shatter your sense of security, warp self-perception, and make the world seem an unforgiving place. The journey to healing is often long and winding, but central to this path is the cultivation of compassion—not just for others, but critically, for oneself. This post seeks to guide those who have experienced trauma towards embracing compassion as a vital tool for healing.

The Impact of Trauma on Self-Compassion

Trauma, by its nature, can foster feelings of isolation, helplessness, and a profound sense of unworthiness or self-blame. In the aftermath, individuals may struggle with intrusive thoughts, hyperarousal, and an ongoing sense of danger, making the world appear hostile, and thus, crippling their ability to feel compassion for themselves or others. The self-criticism and guilt that often accompany traumatic experiences act as barriers to self-compassion, further entrenching the trauma.

The Role of Compassion in Healing

Compassion, particularly self-compassion, is crucial in the healing process. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you would offer a good friend. This gentle and empathetic stance towards oneself can be transformative, enabling individuals to navigate their trauma from a place of understanding and care rather than self-judgment.

1. Recognizing Common Humanity

Trauma can make you feel uniquely broken or isolated. However, understanding that suffering and imperfection are part of the shared human experience can help mitigate these feelings. Recognizing that you are not alone in your struggles fosters a sense of connection and opens the door to compassion.

2. Mindfulness in the Face of Pain

Mindfulness, the practice of being present and fully engaging with the here and now, is essential for self-compassion. It allows you to observe your feelings and thoughts without judgment, confronting pain with an open heart. Through mindfulness, one learns to recognize negative thought patterns and respond to them with kindness rather than getting entangled in them.

3. Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment

At the heart of self-compassion is self-kindness. This means actively soothing and caring for oneself, as opposed to engaging in harsh self-criticism. Replacing self-criticism with a kind voice can significantly alter how you relate to yourself post-trauma.

Practical Steps to Cultivate Compassion After Trauma

Cultivating compassion is a deliberate practice that requires patience and consistency. Here are practical steps to start incorporating it into your healing journey:

* Journaling with Compassion: Use journaling to express your feelings and thoughts. Approach what you would typically judge with a sense of understanding and kindness. Write yourself letters of support and understanding, as you would to a friend in need.
* Mindfulness and Meditation Practices: Engage in mindfulness meditation focusing on compassion, both for yourself and others. Guided meditations can be particularly helpful in developing a compassionate mindset.
* Seek Connection: Find support groups or communities of individuals with similar experiences. Sharing your story and hearing others can nurture a sense of belonging and compassion.
* Self-Care Rituals: Incorporate self-care rituals into your daily routine. This could be anything from a soothing bath, reading, exercising, or engaging in a hobby you love. These acts of kindness towards oneself reinforce feelings of worthiness and self-compassion.

Conclusion

Embarking on a journey of cultivating compassion after experiencing trauma is by no means an easy feat. It requires confronting pain, practicing patience, and consistently choosing kindness both for yourself and others. However, the transformative power of compassion in the healing process cannot be understated. It can turn wounds into wisdom, isolation into connection, and self-criticism into love. Remember, the journey towards healing and compassion is not a solitary one; support is available, and every step, no matter how small, is a step towards a more compassionate self.

For anyone walking this path, remember, your feelings are valid, your experiences do not define your worth, and with time and support, healing is not just a possibility but a reality. Cultivating compassion isn’t just about making peace with the past; it’s about building a foundation for a future filled with kindness, understanding, and love—first and foremost, for yourself.

In a world that’s always pushing us to perform, to do, to measure up, it’s so easy to lose ourselves. When you add narcissistic abuse—whether from parents, partners, or family—it’s like a wrecking ball to your freedom. You’re told your feelings don’t matter, your ideas aren’t valid, and your autonomy? Forget about it. That kind of abuse strips away your sense of identity, leaving you feeling lost, wondering, Who am I? What do I even want? If you’re a victim of narcissistic abuse, that ache to find your authentic self isn’t just about self-discovery—it’s about healing toxic shame, stopping the self-gaslighting, finding your voice, and kicking the addiction to other people’s approval. It’s about making it your mission to connect with your inner self, embodied, first. Here’s my take: the more lost you feel, the closer you are to realizing you’ve been home all along. Let’s talk about how to come back to your soul, connect with God, unleash your creative expression, and trust the process of your purpose unfolding. #NarcissisticAbuse #TraumaHealing #SelfDiscovery

The Pain of Losing Yourself

Narcissistic abuse does a number on your sense of self. Whether it’s a parent dismissing your emotions or a partner shaming your every move, you’re taught to shrink, to hide, to perform for their approval. I’ve been there, and I’ve seen it in my clients—that constant questioning: Am I enough? What do they think of me? It’s exhausting, and it leaves you disconnected from your own heart. You might not even know what you desire or where you belong. That’s not just emotional—it’s spiritual and physical too. The gut-brain connection shows how chronic stress from abuse can lead to issues like IBS, leaky gut, or even autoimmune disorders. Your body’s carrying the weight of that toxic shame, and it’s time to set it free.

For spiritual businesswomen, this hits extra hard. Your God-given mission is to embody your purpose, but narcissistic abuse leaves you stuck, seeking validation outside yourself. I’ve had to unlearn this need to “measure up” to show up authentically in my work. Healing isn’t just about finding yourself—it’s about coming home to your soul, where God’s light and your creativity can shine.

Healing Toxic Shame and Self-Gaslighting

Narcissistic abuse trains you to doubt your reality. You gaslight yourself, thinking, Maybe I’m too sensitive. Maybe I’m wrong. That toxic shame makes you feel inherently flawed, like your voice doesn’t matter. But here’s the truth: you’re not broken. Your feelings, your ideas, your desires—they’re valid. Healing starts with validating your own voice. Try journaling or speaking your truth out loud, even if it’s just to yourself at first. It’s like telling that inner critic, “I’m allowed to exist.” Resources like Psych Central’s guide to self-validation can help you rebuild that trust in yourself.

Your body feels this shift too. Releasing shame reduces stress, which can ease gut issues or skin flare-ups tied to chronic trauma. I’ve seen clients transform when they stop seeking approval and start listening to their inner selves—it’s like their bodies breathe a sigh of relief. Check out MindBodyGreen’s trauma healing tips for more on this.

Steps to Come Home to Your Soul

You don’t have to stay lost. Healing from narcissistic abuse and CPTSD is a spiritual journey back to your authentic self. Here’s how to start:

Own Your Truth: Acknowledge the abuse—gaslighting, shaming, control. Seeing it clearly breaks its hold. Learn more about narcissistic abuse signs.

Validate Your Voice: Write down your feelings or say them out loud. Your truth matters. Psychology Today’s self-esteem tips can guide you.

Release Approval Addiction: Notice when you’re seeking validation. Pause and ask, What do I want? This shifts you from codependency to self-trust.

Support Your Body: Chronic stress from abuse can cause gut or autoimmune issues. Work with a nutritionist for gut-healing foods or try stress-relief practices like yoga. Healthline’s gut health guide is a great resource.

Seek Healing Support: Trauma-informed therapy like Embodied & Somatic Experiencing can release stored pain. You don’t have to do this alone.

Unleash Creativity: Paint, write, dance—express yourself freely. Your creativity connects you to God and your purpose. Entrepreneur’s tips for creatives can inspire you.

Your Purpose Is Waiting

The more lost you feel, the closer you are to finding your way home. That startling moment when you connect with your inner self—your God-given essence—is like arriving at a place you’ve always belonged. I’ve walked this path, healing from narcissistic abuse and reconnecting with my soul, and I’ve guided clients through it too. Your journey isn’t just about healing—it’s about unleashing your creative expression and trusting life’s process to unfold your purpose.

If you’re feeling lost, alone, or unsure where you fit, start small. Trust one feeling today, express one idea, set one boundary. Your body and soul deserve to thrive. Share your story below or DM me—we’re in this together. Let’s spread awareness about narcissistic abuse, trauma healing, and finding your true self. You’ve got this, and your soul’s ready to shine. #NarcissisticAbuse #CPTSD #SelfDiscovery #TraumaHealing #SpiritualEntrepreneur

Let him go. Die to the self and hurt like hell once. Endure his narcissism, and it’s death by a thousand cuts, hurting forever. Both paths sting, but which one do you choose? I’ve been there, and I can tell you—the path of no longer tolerating narcissistic abuse is the one that heals your health and saves your soul. Chronic stress from putting up with toxic relationships does nothing for you or anyone else.

It’s time to get real: grab a couples counselor, do the individual work, set boundaries, and take some distance. You owe it to yourself and the people who love you to stop enduring it. Tolerance isn’t love, I promise—it just enables their behaviour. Let’s talk about why breaking free from narcissistic abuse is crucial for your body, soul, and life. #NarcissisticAbuse #TraumaHealing #GutHealthMatters

The Pain of Staying vs. the Pain of Leaving

Staying with a narcissistic partner feels like a slow bleed. Every snide comment, every gaslight, every dismissal of your feelings—it’s a cut that adds up, leaving you anxious, drained, and doubting yourself. I’ve seen it in my own life and with clients: that constant “Am I enough?” loop is soul-crushing. But here’s the truth—leaving hurts like hell, too. Letting go means facing the pain of losing what you hoped the relationship could be. It’s raw, it’s scary, but it’s a one-time hurt that opens the door to healing. Staying? That’s endless suffering, and it’s killing your health. The choice is yours, but only one path leads to freedom.

Chronic stress from tolerating narcissistic abuse doesn’t just break your heart—it breaks your body. The gut-brain connection shows how emotional trauma fuels physical issues like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), leaky gut, or even gastric cancer risks. That constant fight-or-flight mode floods your system with cortisol, disrupting your gut bacteria and triggering inflammation. Bloating, food sensitivities, or autoimmune flare-ups? They’re your body’s cry for help. I’ve felt this, watching my health crumble under narcissistic abuse, and I’ve seen it in clients, too. Your body can’t thrive when your soul’s stuck in survival mode.

Why Tolerance Isn’t Love

You might think tolerating their behaviour is love, but it’s not—it’s enabling. Every time you let their gaslighting, blame, or dismissal slide, you’re teaching them it’s okay to hurt you. And it’s not just you paying the price—it’s your health, your peace, and even the people who care about you. Chronic tolerance keeps you trapped in codependency, feeding their narcissism while draining your spirit. I promise, love doesn’t mean enduring pain. Love means choosing yourself, setting boundaries, and demanding respect. You’re worth more than a thousand cuts.
For spiritual businesswomen, this resonates more deeply. Your God-given mission is to embody health and ease, but CPTSD from narcissistic abuse keeps you stuck—feeling like you’ve gotta be perfect, fearing judgment, and ignoring your own needs. I’ve had to unlearn this to show up authentically in my work. Healing these wounds is sacred, God-centered work that lets your soul shine.

Steps to Break Free and Heal

You don’t have to stay stuck in this pain. Healing from narcissistic abuse and CPTSD starts with choosing yourself.

Here’s how to begin:

Face the Truth: Acknowledge their narcissistic patterns—gaslighting, shaming, dismissing your needs. Seeing it clearly is your first step to freedom. Learn more about narcissistic abuse.

Listen to Your Body: Gut issues, skin flare-ups, or chronic illness?

They’re signals. Work with a naturopath or nutritionist for gut-healing foods or stress-relief practices. Healthline’s gut health guide is a solid start.

Do the Work: Individual therapy or couples counselling can help you process trauma. Therapies like EMDR release pain stored in your body.

Set Boundaries: Say No to Toxic Behaviour. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re survival. Check out how to set boundaries.

Take Distance: Space gives you clarity. Whether it’s a break or a breakup, prioritize your peace.

Embody Your Mission: Spiritual entrepreneur, your health is your ministry. Prioritize rest, nutrition, and movement to align with your purpose.

Choose Healing, Choose You

Letting go of a narcissistic partner hurts, but enduring their abuse hurts forever. You don’t have to keep tolerating the pain that’s breaking your body and soul. I’ve walked this path, healing my gut and heart from codependency’s scars, and I’ve guided clients through it too. Your chronic illness or anxiety isn’t your fault—it’s a call to wake up and choose yourself. Take one step today: trust your instincts, set a boundary, or reach out for support. Share your story below or DM me—we’re in this together. Let’s spread awareness about narcissistic abuse, CPTSD, and gut health, empowering each other to heal. You’re worth it, and your soul’s ready to thrive. 🌟 #NarcissisticAbuse #CPTSD #GutHealthMatters #TraumaHealing

Post by Jillian Meher, LPC

Dealing with people who engage in manipulative behavior can be extremely difficult. The interaction can leave you feeling guilty, angry, frustrated, and stuck. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re being manipulated until after the fact!

Here are a few common manipulation tactics and how to respond to them appropriately and assertively.

-A question disguised as a statement

Manipulation is all about remaining in control. Asking a question could mean a loss of control if the answer is not what the manipulative person wants to hear. So, people who are manipulative don’t like asking direct questions.

To avoid asking questions, manipulative people sometimes disguise questions as statements. This might sound like, “I’m wondering why you didn’t stop by yesterday,” “I wish you would do the laundry once in a while,” or “I suppose you’re not going to invite me.”

How to respond:

Train your ear to recognize the difference between actual questions and statements. Only answer questions! Repeat the last few words of the statement back to the person in the form of a question. For example, if they say, “I suppose you’re too busy to help me clean out the garage next weekend,” your response can be, “Are you asking me to help you clean out your garage next weekend?” This will give you the opportunity to then say either yes or no.

-Making a personal statement and pretending it’s someone else’s

Again, this tactic is an effort not to lose control in the conversation. By attributing a statement to someone else, the manipulative person can avoid taking responsibility for their opinion. For example, “Everyone thinks you should move closer to us,” or “They said you would be better off going to community college.”

How to respond:

Ask, “Who is everyone?” or “Who are they?” You can also ask the manipulator to take responsibility for their own opinion by asking, “What do you think?” or “What is your point of view?”

-The silent treatment

In order to remain in or regain control, manipulative people might stop talking to you entirely. This is likely an effort to see how long it is before you crack!

How to respond:

Put the ball in the manipulator’s court by saying, “Let me know when you’re ready to talk,” and leave it at that. If you “crack” by begging them to talk to you or giving in to their demands, the manipulative person will use this tactic with you over and over again.

Dealing with manipulative people can be very tricky and draining. But if you stick to your boundaries and respond assertively to their tactics, your confidence in interacting with manipulative people will grow in no time.

Some people believe that fathers don't really contribute that much to a child's rearing. This is a large myth and research backs up the importance of father in a child's life. In this first part I will talk about how dad contributes to the child's development. In our second part I will talk about the stages of development and fatherhood and how that relates to leadership with staff as they develop.

The Father’s Contribution during Early Childhood
Be a back up to Mom.
Be involved with the child so that she can form a bonded relationship with someone other than Mom.
Be available to the child so that he can move away from Mom and establish himself as a separate person. At around four years, start taking the child out of orbit around Mom.
Provide an outlet for the child’s anger and frustration with Mom.
Lay the groundwork for development of the child’s sexual identity.
Be a source of safety and security.
Lay a foundation for interaction in future years.
Provide a parenting model for the child.


The Father’s Contribution during the Elementary School Years

Encourage the child to see herself as a productive individual.
Help the child develop competence in a variety of skill areas.
Foster healthy self-confidence in the child.
Help the child learn to contain and control his personality and emotions, especially anger.
Provide a safe environment for exploration and for learning both cognitive and social skills.
By active leadership in the family, free the child to be a child.
Clarify sexual identity for the child. Model what a son is to become and what a daughter is not to become.
Provide a parenting model for the child.


The Father’s Contribution during Adolescence

Teach the child how to relate triadically (to two other people at the same time).
Be a source of competition and modeling for a son as he grows toward manhood.
Affirm a daughter’s femininity and her growth toward womanhood.
Be available to resolve any leftover issues from the earlier stages of development.
Make his inner strength and stability available to the child, providing a counterbalance to the roller coaster of adolescence.
Model a good marriage relationship.
Present a unified authority with the mother to prevent the child from “splitting.”
Provide a blessing as the child moves into adulthood.
Provide a parenting model for the child. Provide mentoring.



Father Influence and Leadership


The Nurturing Leader; This is a leader who has new people that are training and learning the job while he sets limits with them. He also helps them with grace and care to learn the actual tasks of the job as well as the relationships involved


The Lawgiver Leader: This is the leader who sets down rules and expectations as well as defining jobs and helping the more permanent or problematic employee get on the right path. Having already provided bonding and connection this leader has the freedom to set boundaries with staff.


The Warrior-Protector Leader: Helping staff by fighting for them and against things that are problematic is very much a part of this leaders job. This leader also encourages and promotes initiative and the proper use of power in the work situation.


See Making Peace With Your Father by David Stoop, PhD

Written by Cindy Picht, MA, LPC
How a Research-Based Couples Assessment Can Reveal What You’re Missing

“My partner says we communicate great, but I feel totally misunderstood.”​
​
We hear this a lot.
One of our counselors, Gerard DeMatteo, LPC, recently trained a group of pastors, therapists,
and lay leaders to facilitate a powerful relationship tool called PREPARE/ENRICH. This tool
has helped thousands of couples (including many at Light the Way) get clarity about where
they are and how to grow stronger together.

What Is PREPARE/ENRICH?
PREPARE is for dating or engaged couples.​
ENRICH is for couples who are already married.​
​
Both are online assessments that measure how you and your partner respond in key
relationship areas, such as communication, conflict resolution, money, sex, roles, and
spiritual beliefs.​
​
Couples take the assessment separately. Then, they meet with a trained facilitator who helps
them understand where they agree, where they disagree, and where they might have
misunderstood each other altogether.​
​
The power of this tool is that it gives you both something objective to look at. It’s not just
one person’s opinion anymore. It’s right there—in black and white.
A Real-Life Example
I’ve used PREPARE/ENRICH with couples since the early 2000s. Gerard was certified in
1995, and the tool has been around since 1980. It’s grounded in decades of research.​
​
Over the years, I’ve seen incredible things happen:​
- Couples who didn’t think they had any significant issues suddenly understood each other
in a whole new way​
- Engaged couples who realized they were heading in different directions—and lovingly
chose not to marry​
- Couples who felt stuck for years finally have the language to say what they’re really feeling​
​

I’d estimate that over 90% of the couples I’ve walked through PREPARE/ENRICH who chose
to marry are still together today.
What You’ll Get
When you take the assessment, here’s what to expect:​
- A comprehensive report of your strengths and growth areas that the facilitator
receives –
-An abridged report for you
-6–8 structured sessions with a trained counselor​
- Skills and exercises to help you grow in:​
- Communication​
- Conflict resolution​
- Understanding personality differences​
- Intimacy and shared values​
- Homework that deepens your connection between sessions​
​
It’s not just a quiz—it’s a map. And your counselor walks with you through every
step.
Why Use a Counselor?
PREPARE/ENRICH is a great tool, but it becomes even more powerful when you process it
with someone who’s trained to spot deeper patterns and help you work through them.​
​
At Light the Way, many of our therapists—Cindy, Gerard, Janet, and Esther—are certified in
PREPARE/ENRICH, as are our licensed Marriage and Family therapists.
Ready to See Where You Stand?
Whether you’ve been together for a few months or a few decades, PREPARE/ENRICH can
give you a clear view of where you’re thriving and where there’s room to grow.​
​
📞 Call 201-444-8103 ext. #1 to schedule a consultation.​
Let’s put it in black and white—and grow from there.

Discover Hope and Healing Through Biblical Counseling Books
Explore a powerful collection of Christian counseling resources designed to guide you through life’s challenges with faith and wisdom. From finding purpose and overcoming addiction to navigating grief, renewing your mind, and preparing for eternity—each book offers biblical insight, practical steps, and compassionate encouragement for every stage of life, including a special guide for teens.

Understanding Generalized Anxiety and What You Can Do About It
A few years ago, I worked with a client who constantly worried about his family—how they would make it in life, and what he needed to do to help. We explored what was in his control and what wasn’t. Together, we created practical strategies to help him manage his responsibilities and ease the mental burden.
The GAD-7 Tool
I asked him to complete a short assessment called the GAD-7, which helps identify symptoms of anxiety. When he read his results, the lightbulb went off. “I had no idea this had a name,” he said, relieved to finally make sense of what he’d been feeling.
GAD stands for Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and the “7” refers to the number of core symptoms it screens for (plus one bonus question about daily functioning).
The tool asks how often you've been bothered by the following symptoms in the past two weeks. Write down your answers using this scale:
• 0 – Not at all
• 1 – Several days
• 2 – More than half the days
• 3 – Nearly every day
Want to try it?
Here are the questions. Write down your answers on a separate piece of paper.
1. Feeling nervous, anxious, or on edge.
2. Not being able to stop or control worrying.
3. Worrying too much about different things.
4. Trouble relaxing.
5. Being so restless that it is hard to sit still.
6. Becoming easily annoyed or irritable.
7. Feeling afraid as if something awful might happen.
8. How difficult have these problems made it for you to do your work, take care of things at home, or get along with other people? The choices here are: not difficult at all, somewhat difficult, very difficult, or extremely difficult.
Check your results
If you scored a few 1s, 2s, or 3s, it’s worth paying attention. If you notice a pattern or feel like your worries are interfering with daily life, working with a therapist can help you get clarity and relief.
What to do right now
At Light the Way, we use tools and insights from experts like Amen Clinics to understand better how anxiety affects your brain and body. One area often involved in anxiety is the Basal Ganglia—a part of the brain that can become overactive when you feel worried, tense, or afraid of the worst-case scenario.
While you don’t need to know neuroscience, it helps to know that there are natural, science-based ways to help calm this part of your brain.
Here are some suggestions you can start right now to help calm your Basal Ganglia:
• Exercise daily – Even a 30-minute walk can calm your nervous system.
• Listen to calming music – Slow, instrumental music can ease tension.
• Try ANT Therapy – That stands for Automatic Negative Thoughts. Notice your negative self-talk and challenge it with truth. The negative thought can also be stated in a more positive way
• Cut back on caffeine and alcohol – Both can overstimulate your system.
• Try meditation or prayer – Choose a practice that aligns with your values.
• Practice assertiveness – Anxiety often increases when we don’t speak up for ourselves.
Next Steps
If you discovered you may be living with anxiety, and you want to lessen it, pick one tool from the list above and commit to it daily for 1–2 weeks. See how you feel. Then, try adding another.
Consistency is more important than intensity. Small, steady steps can bring lasting relief.

It’s one of life’s deepest joys to raise a child—to pour yourself into them, teach them what is right, model compassion, selflessness, and generosity, and hope they grow to reflect those values in their own lives. Many parents do just that. They serve their families tirelessly, give without hesitation, and raise their children with hearts full of love and sacrifice. But sometimes, despite all of this, a child grows up and chooses a different path. This is one of the hardest truths for a parent to face: when an adult child strays from the values they were taught, it can feel like a personal failure. A painful question begins to whisper in the heart: Where did I go wrong? Let me offer you this comfort—perhaps you did nothing wrong at all.

Giving and Serving Is Never Wasted

Love given is never wasted. Service modeled is never lost. You may not see the results today or even in your lifetime, but the seeds you planted matter. They matter because they were planted in love, and love never returns void. Your example, your sacrifice, your consistency—they speak volumes, even if your child seems to have tuned them out. Scripture reminds us in Galatians 6:9,
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Keep doing good. Keep living out the example. The harvest may not come in your timing—but that doesn’t mean it won’t come.

Every human being is a mix of nature and nurture. While we as parents can shape, teach, and guide, we cannot override our children’s free will or their unique temperaments. Some personalities are naturally bent toward service; they thrive on helping others and find joy in lifting up those around them. Others may lean toward self-interest, not because they weren’t loved properly, but because their wiring or experiences drew them that way. We can influence, but we cannot control.

You Gave What You Were Meant to Give

If you served your children with humility, kindness, and love, you fulfilled your calling. You gave them the best foundation you could. Whether or not they build on that foundation is ultimately their responsibility.

And remember even the most faithful gardener can’t force a seed to sprout. You tended the soil. You watered with patience. You shielded with prayer. You nurtured the roots. If your child chooses another direction, that doesn't invalidate the gardener’s work—it simply shows that every soul takes its own journey.

Proverbs 22:6 encourages us with this truth: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”The word “old” reminds us that sometimes the fruit takes time. What was planted in their youth may return to them in maturity. Their current choices don’t erase the impact of early training. They just haven’t come back to it yet.

Not All Mature at the Same Time

It’s also important to know that the story isn't over. Just because your child is not walking in the way you hoped today doesn't mean that they never will. Many adults grow into the values they once ignored. Life has a way of reshaping hearts and reawakening dormant seeds of truth. Not all fruit ripens at the same time. Some of the most compassionate, service-minded adults once resisted every ounce of wisdom they were given. And yet, something clicked later in life. A crisis. A moment of clarity. A realization of all their parents quietly did for them. Don’t give up hope. You never know what turning point may come.

You’re Still Their Example

Even now, you continue to teach—not always with words, but with your enduring grace. When you resist bitterness, when you continue to love without conditions, when you keep living your values without resentment or despair, you’re still serving your child. You’re showing them that giving isn’t reward. It’s about love. And that’s the truest gift of all.

Love Looks Forward

To every parent who is grieving the gap between their values and their child’s choices: be at peace. You are not defined by your child’s path. You are defined by your own. Your giving was not a waste. Your serving was not in vain. And your love still matters—more than you know.

Stay faithful to who you are. Keep loving. Keep serving. And trust that even the most wayward hearts are not beyond the reach of grace.

What are intensive sessions?
Intensive sessions are extended therapy sessions. They allow individuals, families, or couples to meet beyond the standard 45-50 minute session time. Extended sessions can last anywhere from 90 minutes to 4 hours at a time over 1-3 days. These sessions may be scheduled semi-regularly, on a bi-weekly or monthly cadence. Other individuals find benefit in meeting for only one extended session or multiple days in a row. Many individuals who participate in intensives with us discover a quicker route to healing & transformation.
There is no right or wrong length of time, as we do not take a one-size-fits-all approach. We will partner with you in order to determine the best approach and make sure you are comfortable every step of the way. We use a Holistic and Christ-centered therapy approach in extended sessions. Often referring to what God, the creator of the Universe, says about you in order to reframe the negative self-talk in your mind.
Where are your intensive sessions located?

In person or virtual. Our intensive outpatient weekend therapy serves clients in sunny Ventura, California. Accessible to people in the vicinity of Santa Monica, Malibu, Calabasas, Santa Barbara, Ojai & surrounding areas. We also offer these services via confidential & secure video for people located throughout California, Florida & South Carolina. You only need to be in one of these states for the intensive session. If travel is an option for you, it may be worth considering a retreat-style intensive session with us.
How can intensive sessions help?

Our rapid relief therapy sessions assist individuals in moving through aspects that seem to be holding them back or hindering the progress they wish to make. The typical therapy session can leave some people feeling stuck and overwhelmed with having to come back week after week for little progress. Many of my clients tell me they only start feeling “warmed up" around the 30-minute mark in session. They feel like a breakthrough is ready to happen, only to be moved to close out for the session to end on time. Another week goes by with mounting personal issues and a limited capacity to handle them all. They have the space to process the week, which can be a blessing, but in reality, is also very limiting. So much more work can be done, which is why we have found that moving outside the limits of time constraints leads to lasting change. You were meant for more; you can feel it, but you aren’t sure which direction to go. We are happy to walk alongside you while you work toward your goals.
We have intensive clients who find that meeting for maintenance sessions on a regular or semi-regular cadence can be beneficial. While others prefer to maintain work with their regular therapists before and after our intensives together. As we discussed earlier, there really is no right or wrong way to engage in intensive sessions. Our goal is to provide the space you need to knock down barriers, connect to the purpose God has for your life, and experience improved emotional well-being. Dramatic change can happen over a weekend, something years of therapy often can not achieve.

What kind of issues are addressed in intensive therapy sessions?
We address an array of issues that may be present in your life. These may include, but are not limited to, historical or current traumas, limiting self-beliefs, anxiety, depression, relationship & communication issues. We work with adult individuals, families with minor & adult children & couples.

How does it work?
The first step is to reach out for a consult in order to determine if working together would be beneficial. We will set up a 15-20 minute call & you will have the opportunity to ask any questions or get clarification on aspects of what we offer. It is important that you are stable & not in active crisis in order to get the most out of our sessions together. After the consult we schedule an intake session where we meet by phone or video for 45-60 minutes in order to formulate goals & a plan for our intensive session. We will determine meeting date & length of time. In order to encourage a commitment to yourself, a 50% deposit will be required at time of booking & refunds are not provided.
Who are intensive not right for?
It is important for all of us to understand there are some limits to intensive sessions. Individuals in active crisis, experiencing suicidality or who are in active addictions would not be candidates. Couples who do not have the same goals for therapy, who are not sure they want to stay in the marriage or if there is an ongoing affair would not benefit from our intensive therapy format. If you fins yourself needing urgent support please reach out to 988 via call or text.

I have had my fair share of suffering in life, as I assume you also have if you've decided to read this, and I would like to say that I "evolved" in my understanding of the purpose of suffering and how God truly gets the glory when I'm going through the worst moments of my life.


One particular scripture comes to mind:


"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:3-5


This scripture always reminds me that the suffering we endure isn't for nothing, but is very much so purposeful. In the moment, we feel that it's unfair to endure what we're up against, but from God's perspective, it's the best way for us to grow in particular areas because we are here (on this earth) for HIM not OURSELVES.


Ouch.. I know that probably stung a bit, but one thing you'll hear from me is the truth, but it will always be clothed in care because that's exactly how God communicates with me and would want His truth to be delivered.


We are promised an abundant life and prosperity, but we are also promised trials, tribulations, and inconveniences. God never designed this life for us to receive one side of things and erase the other. BOTH work in contingent with each other to achieve God's perfect will, and to bring us to Himself.


That's why our suffering glorifies Him. Because we grow in many areas and we learn to seek His aid in everything. There is no growth without suffering.


So if you have suffered any trauma or are currently suffering through something, I want to encourage you begin offering that suffering to God and asking for His strength to endure what you're facing. It may be helpful to ask God these questions:


1. What is the purpose of this particular situation I'm suffering through?

2. What are You revealing about me or others in this situation?

3. What are the lessons I need to learn through this?

4. How should I change my thinking about this situation to align more with Your will?


Not only does these questions cause you to go deeper in understanding more about God's plans for you in the midst of your suffering, but it also opens up the opportunity for you to build true intimacy with Him.


I pray this encourages you in your life's journey.

**If you're a woman in Florida or Illinois looking for more direction to start your growth and healing journey, please visit my website to schedule a consultation and discuss more details!


Your Sister in Christ,


Dominique S. Russell, MA, LCPC

May is a month that comes in full bloom.

The days stretch longer. Blossoms spill onto sidewalks. The air fills with the scent of possibility—and for many, a rush of emotion. School years wind down, graduation gowns are steamed and ready, and families gather to celebrate milestones large and small. For some, it’s a time of deep joy, pride, or relief. For others, it may bring a quieter ache—longing for what hasn’t come, mourning what’s been lost, or feeling left out of celebrations altogether.

In my work with women, couples, and families, I often hear how the “big feelings” of this month stir things up. You might find yourself feeling multiple things at once: proud and depleted, joyful and tender, hopeful and overwhelmed. You may be gearing up for “swimsuit season” with a new sense of confidence—or facing body image struggles that whisper old, unkind stories. Mother’s Day may be a treasured time to celebrate beloved women in your life—or a tender reminder of absence, grief, or complex relationships.

Whatever is present for you this month, I want to offer this simple truth:
Your feelings are valid. They matter. And they are worthy of gentle attention.

The Emotional Landscape of May

If you’re feeling a bit emotionally scrambled this month, you’re not alone. May tends to hold a mix of:

Celebratory Moments:

A sense of renewal as the weather shifts
Graduations, proms, and “move-up” ceremonies
A fresh start in health or wellness routines
Mother’s Day celebrations with loved ones


Tender or Complicated Emotions:

Grief for a mother, child, or dream not yet fulfilled
Loneliness or exclusion from seasonal milestones
Pressure around body image or comparison
Emotional whiplash from everyone else's "highlight reels"


Scripture reminds us in Romans 12:15:
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.”
Sometimes, we’re doing both at the same time.


Making Space for Your Truth

We often feel pressure to “match” the emotional tone around us. To smile when we’re hurting. To push down grief in the face of someone else’s joy. But our emotional world is sacred ground. You are allowed to name what’s real for you, even when it doesn’t fit the mood of the month.

Here are a few questions for gentle reflection:

What’s blooming in me right now—and what’s still tender or raw?
Are there emotions I’ve been pushing aside that need a moment of acknowledgment?
What’s one expectation (mine or someone else’s) I can release this month?
Where might I need to offer myself more compassion or room for joy?

Try journaling these questions, bringing them into prayer, or just being present with them on a quiet walk.


Simple Ways to Care for Yourself in Every Mood

You don’t have to fix your feelings—you can simply care for them. Here are a few small ways to honor whatever you're carrying this month:


If You're Celebrating...

Take time to savor—write down the moment or share it with a friend.
Ground yourself with gratitude, but don’t guilt yourself for your joy.
Reach out to someone who may need encouragement—it helps deepen your celebration.


If You're Grieving, Tender, or Feeling Disconnected...

Light a candle for what you've lost or long for.
Write a letter—to God, to your future self, or even to someone you’ve lost.
Create your own mini-ritual: a walk, a favorite meal, a private moment of remembrance.
Take a social media break if scrolling amplifies comparison or grief.


For Everyone...

Let your body lead: rest when tired, stretch when stiff, and move when you feel stuck.
Reconnect with God, not through striving but through stillness.
Nourish your soul with something that brings quiet joy: a song, a book, or a cup of tea in the sun.
Make time to connect with those who see you and embrace you fully as you are.


Closing Thought

May is a garden. Some parts are bursting with color. Others are just beginning to grow. Some may still feel hidden, waiting for the right time to bloom. Wherever you are in the landscape of this month, know this:

You are allowed to feel what you feel. You are worthy of gentleness and joy. And you are not alone.

Join us for a free, in-person session at New Life Church in Henderson, Texas, as part of the Exchanged Life Series. This session will explore the journey of grief and loss through a biblical lens, offering grace-based insights, emotional validation, and Christ-centered hope. Whether you are grieving a loved one, a relationship, or a difficult life transition, you’ll be encouraged and supported as we uncover how God meets us in our pain.

Register here👉 www.christian-counseling.org/grief-class

When we hear the word “burnout,” most of us think of long hours, overbooked calendars, and sheer exhaustion. But what if burnout isn’t just about how much we do?

What if it’s about how deeply we care—and how deeply we feel betrayed when our care is not honored?

For many, burnout doesn’t stem from doing too much. It stems from giving too much to environments that don’t see them, don’t support them, and don’t align with their core values. This isn’t just tiredness—it’s heartbreak. It’s emotional betrayal.

The Deeper Truth Behind Burnout

We’ve been taught to link burnout solely to output—too much work, not enough rest. But people don’t burn out from passion. They burn out when the places they give their passion to don’t give back.

When you show up with dedication, empathy, and loyalty to a job, a company, or a mission—and in return, you’re met with indifference, unrealistic demands, or toxic culture—that’s betrayal. You trusted the system with your energy, and that trust was broken.

The Silent Symptoms of Betrayal-Based Burnout

Unlike traditional burnout that feels like fatigue, betrayal-based burnout carries a different weight. You may notice:

Emotional disconnection – You stop caring about the things you used to love.
Resentment – A quiet anger builds as you feel unseen or taken for granted.
Cynicism – You start questioning the point of your work or your purpose.
Loss of identity – You wonder who you are when your values are constantly compromised.

This isn’t just a sign you need a vacation. It’s a sign your emotional safety has been violated.

When Values and Systems Clash

We all have a deep need to live in alignment with our values—whether that’s compassion, justice, creativity, or authenticity. When we’re in systems that require us to:

Stay silent about injustice
Put profits over people
Numb our emotions to survive
Be productive over being human

—we experience internal dissonance. The result? A spiritual, emotional, and even physical breakdown. That’s what many are mislabeling as “just burnout.”

Healing Starts with Naming the Betrayal

You can’t heal what you won’t name. And if you’re in a place of burnout that no amount of rest seems to fix, it may be time to ask:

What part of me has been betrayed here?
Where have I silenced my truth to stay safe or employed?
What values am I sacrificing, and at what cost?

Naming the emotional betrayal helps reclaim your power. It puts the responsibility back on systems—not just individuals—to cultivate environments where trust, humanity, and well-being are honored.

Steps Toward Recovery and Reconnection

To begin healing from betrayal-based burnout, consider these trauma-informed steps:

Reconnect with Your Voice

Start journaling your unmet needs and silenced thoughts. What truths have you buried to survive?
Honor Your Boundaries

Learn to say no, reclaim rest, and recognize that your worth is not tied to productivity.
Find Value-Aligned Community

Healing accelerates when you’re seen, heard, and supported by people who share your values.
Practice Radical Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself for staying too long in systems that didn’t serve you. You did what you needed to survive.

Give Yourself Permission to Choose Again

Whether it’s changing roles, shifting careers, or redefining your goals—remember, you are allowed to change your mind when your soul is no longer in agreement.

Final Thoughts: This Isn’t Weakness—It’s Wisdom

Burnout is not a flaw in you. It’s a signal from your body, mind, and soul that something isn’t working. And when that something is emotional betrayal, the healing requires more than time off. It requires truth-telling, soul-tending, and systemic change.

So the next time you feel burnout creeping in, pause and ask yourself:

Is this really about the hours I’m working… or the parts of me I’m abandoning to keep working?

Meta Description:

Discover the hidden reason behind burnout. It’s not always about doing too much—it’s about emotional betrayal when your values are ignored. Learn how to heal from value-based burnout.

Our relationship with God—what we believe about His love, presence, and trustworthiness—often draws from more than just theology. The foundation for how we understand love, safety, and connection is often shaped by our earliest human relationships. For some, those early experiences were warm and supportive. For others, they may have been marked by unpredictability, neglect, or pain.
When childhood involves adversity, some people find that these experiences negatively influence how they relate to God later in life. Others, raised in difficult environments, feel deeply connected to a loving and protective God. Others fall somewhere in between, still exploring how their past experiences and their spiritual life intersect. There’s no one right way to relate to God—but the intersection of trauma and faith is a topic worth exploring, both in therapy and in research. By asking questions rather than offering answers, we can begin to understand how early experiences may (or may not) influence a person’s spiritual journey.

Your Voice Matters: Invitation to Participate in Research
I’m conducting a study to better understand the relationship between childhood trauma, post-traumatic outcomes, and attachment to God. The study aims to explore how people’s early life experiences might shape their relationship with God.
If you’re 18 or older, have experienced at least one adverse childhood experience (ACE), and believe in a higher power, I would be grateful for your participation. Your perspective could offer valuable insights into how faith and trauma intersect, and how this connection can inform spiritual care in the mental health field.

https://northwestupsych.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_7QgxS4FgCDtpFFI

Thank you for considering this opportunity to share your story. Please feel free to pass this along to others who may be interested.

Gratitude: A Divine Design for Wholeness
It's easy to overlook the simple yet transformative power of gratitude. Beyond being a polite response, gratitude is a profound spiritual practice that aligns our hearts with God's will and brings about peace.
The Biblical Foundation of Gratitude
The Bible tells us the importance of thankfulness. In 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18, Paul writes, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." This passage reminds us that gratitude isn't contingent on our circumstances but is a continual place we are to live in.
The Psalms are filled with calls to be thankful. Psalm 100:4 encourages us to "Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name." This demonstrates that gratitude is not just a response to blessings but a gateway into deeper communion with God.
The Science Behind Gratitude
Modern research corroborates what Scripture has long taught: gratitude has benefits for our mental, emotional, and physical health.
• Mental Health: Research has shown that practicing gratitude can lead to increased happiness and a reduction in depression.
• Physical Health: Grateful individuals often experience better sleep, lower blood pressure, and improved heart health. dralamountain.org
• Social Connections: Expressing gratitude can strengthen relationships, fostering a sense of community and belonging.
These findings reveal that gratitude is more than a spiritual discipline; it's a holistic practice that nurtures every aspect of our being.
How to Have Gratitude in Daily Life
• Gratitude Journaling: Each day, jot down three things you're thankful for. This practice shifts focus from what's lacking to what's abundant.
• Prayer and Meditation: Begin and end your day by thanking God for His blessings, both big and small.
• Acts of Kindness: Express appreciation to others through kind words or deeds, reflecting God's love in tangible ways.
So, what are you grateful for today?? God is listening, and so is your brain. 😊

Sisters, do you need a little space to focus and take care of YOU? Join us at Immeasurably More Counseling, Coaching, and Consulting (IMC3) for Center &Soar Hours, a 2-hour virtual co-working session designed for busy women who want intentional, purposeful time to tackle their to-do list.

📌 Use this time however YOU need:
✔ Plan meals or shop your grocery list
✔ Schedule appointments or take care of errands
✔ Work out, meditate, or read a great book
✔ Study for an exam or work on a pitch
✔ Attend to personal care or call a friend

This is your time to focus and flourish in a supportive, no-pressure community. Start with an optional check-in, dive into your tasks, and close with a 5-minute wrap-up.

When: 9:45 AM – 11:45 AM (ET) on Mondays
Where: Register for the meeting link by copying and pasting this link into your browser [https://bit.ly/4htPyMG].

Share with a friend who might want to join, and let’s honor God with our time!

Breaking Strongholds: Overcoming Spiritual Barriers in Christ
In our Christian walk, we often encounter spiritual strongholds—deep-seated patterns of thinking, habits, or struggles that keep us from fully experiencing God’s power and freedom. These strongholds can be rooted in fear, pride, doubt, addiction, or past wounds, and they hinder our spiritual growth. But the good news is that through Christ, we have the power to break free.
What Are Strongholds?
The Bible speaks of strongholds as mental and spiritual fortresses that oppose God’s truth. In 2 Corinthians 10:4-5, Paul reminds us:
"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God."
Strongholds can be lies we believe, unhealthy behaviors we repeat, or fears that keep us bound. They distort our perception of God, ourselves, and others.
Recognizing Strongholds in Our Lives
Some common strongholds include:
• Fear and Anxiety – Believing the lie that God won’t take care of us.
• Unforgiveness – Holding onto past hurts instead of releasing them to God.
• Addiction – Seeking comfort in substances, entertainment, or other distractions instead of Christ.
• Pride – Relying on our strength rather than surrendering to God’s will.
How to Tear Down Strongholds
1. Identify the Lies
Strongholds often begin with deception. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any lies that have taken root in your mind. Are you believing that you are unworthy of love? That God doesn’t hear your prayers? That you can’t change?
2. Replace Lies with God’s Truth
The Word of God is our weapon. In John 8:32, Jesus says, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Replace negative thoughts with God’s promises. Meditate on verses like Philippians 4:13 (“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”) and Romans 8:1 (“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”).
3. Pray and Declare Victory
Spiritual battles require spiritual weapons. Pray fervently, asking God to break every chain in your life. Declare His Word over your struggles.
4. Walk in Obedience
Breaking strongholds isn’t just about praying—it’s about action. If a stronghold is tied to sin, repent and turn from it. If it’s linked to fear, step out in faith.
5. Seek Accountability
Sometimes, strongholds are too big to tear down alone. Find a trusted mentor, pastor, or Christian friend who can pray with you and offer encouragement.
The Power of Freedom in Christ
When we surrender our strongholds to Jesus, He replaces bondage with freedom, despair with hope, and fear with peace. No stronghold is too big for God’s power. Through faith, prayer, and His Word, we can walk in the victory He has already won for us!
Are there any strongholds you need to break today? Bring them before the Lord, and let His truth set you free.
If you’re feeling unbalanced in any of these areas, I am here to help. Reach out today for a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation. (772-446-1922), or check out my website at https://caterpillarcounseling.webflow.io/therapy
Be blessed,
Dawn Taylor

Mike, an Army veteran needs healing. The emotional scars from combat often manifest as negative thought patterns that can contribute to anxiety, OCD, and various addictions, such as nicotine, alcohol, and unhealthy relationships with food and sex. However, Mike’s journey illustrates that overcoming these challenges is possible through intentional strategies and support.



1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

One of the first steps Mike took to combat his negative mindset was engaging in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This evidence-based approach helps individuals identify and challenge distorted thinking patterns. Through sessions with his therapist, Mike learned to recognize automatic negative thoughts, such as “I am worthless” or “I’ll never be happy again.”



By actively questioning these thoughts and replacing them with more realistic and positive affirmations, Mike began to reframe his perspective. For instance, he shifted from thinking, “I will always struggle with addiction,” to “I am learning to manage my triggers one day at a time.” This shift in thinking not only alleviated his anxiety but also empowered him to confront his behaviors, helping him regain control over his life.



2. Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)

In addition to traditional therapies, Mike discovered Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), a relatively new modality designed to help individuals process and heal from trauma quickly. ART focuses on altering the negative images and feelings associated with traumatic experiences, enabling clients to integrate and release the emotional pain tied to those memories.



During his ART sessions, Mike was guided through visualization techniques where he could create new, positive images to replace the distressing ones associated with his trauma. For example, he was encouraged to visualize the traumatic event and then modify it by changing specific elements—like replacing the sights or sounds with something calming and reassuring.



This process helps desensitize individuals to the trauma, allowing them to confront painful memories without the overwhelming emotional response typically associated with them. Mike found this approach particularly effective in addressing the flashbacks and intrusive thoughts that often plagued him. By altering the way he visualized his experiences, Mike could begin to reclaim his narrative, transforming his trauma from something that controlled him into a story of resilience and strength.



3. Mindfulness and Meditation

In addition to therapy, Mike discovered the power of mindfulness and meditation. Initially skeptical, he began practicing mindfulness exercises after being encouraged by his counselor. By focusing on the present moment and learning to observe his thoughts without judgment, Mike found that he could create a buffer against the overwhelming anxiety that often triggered his compulsions.



Incorporating mindfulness into his daily routine—whether through guided meditations, deep breathing exercises, or simply taking quiet moments to reflect—helped Mike cultivate a sense of calm. This practice allowed him to distance himself from negative thoughts and cravings, fostering a more balanced emotional state.



4. Physical Activity

Mike also realized the importance of physical health in overcoming his negative mindset. Regular exercise became a crucial outlet for managing stress and anxiety. Whether it was lifting weights at the gym, going for a run, or practicing yoga, movement helped Mike release pent-up energy and boost his mood.



Research has shown that exercise increases the production of endorphins, the body’s natural mood lifters. For Mike, the endorphin rush provided a sense of accomplishment and a natural high that gradually reduced his reliance on substances like nicotine and alcohol. Moreover, the discipline required in maintaining a fitness routine helped him build resilience and focus, counteracting negative thought patterns.



5. Support Groups

Finding community support was another significant aspect of Mike’s recovery. He joined several support groups specifically designed for veterans facing similar challenges. Sharing his experiences with peers who understood his struggles created a sense of belonging and validation. Hearing others’ stories also reminded him that he wasn’t alone in his fight against addiction and mental health issues.



In these groups, Mike learned valuable coping strategies and developed friendships that provided encouragement during tough times. Knowing that others were rooting for his success made a world of difference, as he was able to draw strength from their shared experiences and insights.



6. Spiritual Growth and Faith

Perhaps the most profound aspect of Mike’s journey was the rekindling of his faith. During his struggles, he often felt distant from God, but through counseling and the support of his church community, he began to explore his relationship with Christ again.



Reading Scripture, particularly verses that emphasized God’s love and forgiveness, such as Isaiah 41:10, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God,” provided Mike with reassurance and hope. Prayer became a powerful tool for him to release his worries and fears to God, fostering a sense of peace and grounding that countered his anxiety.



7. Establishing Healthy Routines

Mike learned that structure and routine were critical in combating his negative mindset. He established a daily schedule that included time for work, exercise, support group meetings, prayer, and self-care. By creating predictable patterns in his life, he reduced the uncertainty that often led to anxiety and compulsive behaviors.

Routine also allowed him to set and achieve small goals, whether it was reading a book, preparing healthy meals, or attending a recovery meeting. Each accomplishment built his confidence, reinforcing a positive mindset and diminishing the power of negative thoughts.

Final Thoughts

Mike’s journey illustrates that overcoming a negative mindset is not a solitary endeavor; it requires a multifaceted approach. Through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Accelerated Resolution Therapy, mindfulness practices, physical activity, community support, spiritual growth, and establishing healthy routines, he was able to reclaim control over his thoughts and behaviors.

By understanding that healing is a process that takes time and effort, Mike has learned to view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. His story serves as a powerful reminder that, with the right support and strategies, it is possible to overcome the shadows of the past and embrace a brighter future filled with hope and healing.

Spring Toward Forgiveness

“You’re Bambi,” my dearly departed husband loved to tease when someone hurt my feelings or took advantage of me.

Not the most endearing of pet names, but Bambi accurately described my nature – vulnerable, sensitive, and a bit naïve to the predatory hunters of this world. And yet, like Bambi, I also returned into spring after surviving many winter tragedies, like my mother’s untimely death when I was a doe-eyed young adult.

Given the frequency and severity of many predators’ attempts to harm me (physically, emotionally, financially, and socially), I have developed a thicker hide and a greater capacity for forgiveness, a process that helps me find inner peace.

My Path to Forgiveness
Over the years, my Bambi nature has become both a blessing and a curse. On the blessing side, kindred spirits behold me as a safe confidante; on the curse side, malicious predators eye me as a bully target.

Don’t get me wrong. Like a deer, I can abandon my normal peaceful stance when I perceive a serious threat, particularly one I find morally objectionable. The deer hunter on my path usually freezes in the headlights because I don’t lash out in anger. Instead, I attack with cold logic and indisputable facts, generally resulting in the hunter’s quiet, unrepentant retreat – necessitating my need to forgive.

Fortunately, I am a psychologist who actively bucks mental health stigma and openly seeks counseling and spiritual direction. Consequently, I learned to let go of petty annoyances quickly so only the serious offenses rented space in my mind, and usually for only one winter season.
However, shortly after our wedding, my late husband and I were pommeled with assaults that ultimately contributed to his untimely death four years later.

Alone in the dangerous forest, my wounds from those assaults festered to the point of causing emotional distress, mental fog, physical ailments and crisis of faith. During the middle of a long “dark night of the soul,” I eventually discerned God’s call to forgive. “Here I am, Lord,” was my slow but steady response as I returned to regular faith practice, while seeking spiritual direction for help with forgiveness and grief counseling to address many losses.

After a year, my return to spring became evident. I lost 80 pounds, resumed writing, volunteered, made my stage debut in a community theater production and pursued a plethora of social activities. As a result, my functional depression lifted, my anger dissipated, and my spirit brightened – all because I actively pursued the practice of forgiveness. So, here I share tips on when and how to forgive.

When to Forgive
In my personal experience and professional practice, I have observed common signs when someone needs to forgive.

Rumination
Persistent focus on past grievances with no shift in attitude

Misplaced Anger
Also termed displaced anger, where a minor incident blows up into a horrible yelling match (or worse) while the real issue remains unaddressed, often fueling further incidents

Rage
Exploding with anger at the mere mention of the offending party

Prejudice
Generalizing one bad experience with one group member to an entire group

Low Self Esteem
Often indicative of the need to forgive oneself

Spiritual Problems
Impaired relationship with God and reduced/abandoned faith practices

Physical Ailments
Headaches, GI distress, back problems, heart palpitations, hypertension

Cognitive Impairments
Poor attention, memory lapses, disorganization, poor time management

Psychological Issues
Anxiety, addiction (substances or activities like work), depression, insomnia

How to Forgive
Here are tips on pursuing the forgiveness process.

Address the offense and grieve the related losses.
Often when others hurt us, we lose something – maybe our idealistic world view, our reputation, our supportive herd, our resources or our pride. It is important to clarify and acknowledge the suffering caused by the offending parties. Although this is best accomplished through talking to a trusted person or group, it can be achieved through writing or artistic expression.

Stand up to Predators!
We should never allow ourselves to be used or abused. If trapped in such a situation, please seek professional help. We all can call upon the power animal that resides within us. Remember that forgiveness is never about tolerating evil behavior. It is about letting go of the toxic remains from sinful transgressions we have suffered.

Always acknowledge, “There but for the grace of God go I.”
Conduct a moral inventory of your misdeeds and consider the reasons you caused harm to others in your past. Often, we may not be fully aware of the impact our actions have on others. Remember, we all have a predator within us. This can help us to view others with less judgment.

Put things in perspective.
Taking the plank out of our own eyes will help us to discern the speck in the other person’s eye. Perhaps physical pain or emotional upset distracted the party in the wrong. Not many of us humans can emulate Bambi’s mother’s altruism as she urged her beloved son to seek safety shortly before she got shot.

Ask if it is truly worth the upset?
Consider if this issue will matter in a week, month, or next spring. If not, let it go. Sometimes, a little humor can shed some light on the matter.

Communicate your hurt.
People often have little awareness of the impact their words and deeds have on others. Sometimes, a simple statement or request may resolve the problem. If the hunter persists, you know you took the high path and did your part, even if the relationship is too harmful to sustain.
Recognize other’s limitations.

So often, my clients complain about narcissistic family members or friends. By definition, people with this disorder are emotionally immature and lack the capacity to empathize or understand another person’s perspective. Unlike Bambi’s mother, they can only view situations from their own self-centered world view.

Lower the bar.
Not everyone will be as perfect as you perceive yourself to be. Cut them some slack. If the offenses are minor, consider sending them a card with words of endearment.

View the situation globally.
Often, hurtful situations may yield positive results in the long run. Getting fired from that dead-end job may be God’s nudge to pursue His work. Regardless, use the season of spring to seek new opportunities to serve Our Lord.

Note that forgiveness does not require reconciliation.
Some relationships are simply toxic and best avoided. If someone leads you astray from your sacred values, cut the ties. All God’s creatures thrive with loving, respectful and healing connections.
Pray for the people who hurt you.

Yes, yes – easier said than done. A good prayer formula is “I forgive (insert name) from the bottom of my heart, and I humbly ask God to bless them” You may need to repeat this prayer seventy times seven times before you can say it with the sincerity of a deer. Explore this website and read this excellent book for more ideas on forgiveness.

Start this season of spring with a mustard seed of forgiveness in your heart. Fawn over it and watch it grow into a dearly beloved bush of faith, hope and love, the true essence of Bambi.

Copyright © Jessica Loftus, 2025

Check out this upcoming workshop.
Shed Your Bad Habits for Good
https://www.easywaystoeasestress.com
Deer image is under license from Shutterstock.com

In the nuanced journey of human life, our spiritual beliefs often serve as the bedrock of our existence, influencing our perspectives, decisions, and coping mechanisms. For many, Christian faith is a source of strength, hope, and guidance through life's tumultuous seas. Simultaneously, the field of counseling has established itself as a crucial mechanism for addressing and navigating mental health challenges. When these two powerful forces—Christian faith and counseling—intersect, they create a profound synergy that can offer holistic healing and growth. This blog post explores the burgeoning relationship between Christian faith and mental health practices and the transformative potential it holds.

A Confluence of Faith and Therapy

The integration of Christian faith with counseling practices is rooted in the understanding that human beings are not just physical entities requiring psychological insight but are also spiritual beings with deep-seated beliefs and values. This approach does not dilute the significance of therapeutic principles. Instead, it enriches the counseling process by incorporating an individual's faith into their healing journey.

Holistic Healing: Mind, Body, and Spirit

One of the primary tenets of incorporating Christian faith into counseling is the acknowledgment of the person as a holistic being. This perspective aligns with the Christian view of the human person, intricately composed of mind, body, and spirit, all of which interact and influence one another. Counseling that incorporates Christian faith seeks to address and nurture each of these components, offering a more comprehensive form of healing and growth.

The Power of Faith-Based Coping

Christian faith introduces unique coping mechanisms into the therapeutic process. Prayer, meditation on Scripture, and the cultivation of a personal relationship with God can offer profound comfort and guidance. These practices do not replace therapeutic techniques but complement them, providing individuals with additional resources for dealing with life’s challenges.

Community and Connection

Another significant aspect of combining Christian faith with counseling is the emphasis on community. The Christian doctrine places a strong emphasis on fellowship and support among believers. This principle extends naturally into the counseling process, encouraging individuals to seek and offer support within their faith communities. This not only amplifies their support network but also reinforces the interconnectedness between personal healing and communal well-being.

Ethical Considerations and Client-Centric Approach

The intersection of Christian faith and counseling requires navigating with sensitivity and respect. It demands that counselors, whether they share the client's faith or not, approach each case with an open mind and a clear understanding of ethical boundaries. The goal is to support the client’s faith journey in a way that respects their belief system without imposing the counselor's own beliefs. Ensuring that the integration of faith is client-driven—aligned with their needs, consent, and comfort level—is paramount.

The Challenges Ahead

While the integration of Christian faith and counseling opens new vistas for healing, it also presents challenges. These include navigating the diverse expressions of Christian faith, respecting differing theological viewpoints, and continually balancing professional and spiritual insights. Ongoing education, both in theology and psychology, is essential for counselors walking this path, ensuring they are equipped to provide ethical, respectful, and effective support.

Empirical Support and Future Directions

Emerging research supports the efficacy of integrating Christian faith into counseling, highlighting improvements in emotional well-being, resilience, and personal growth. As this field grows, so does the need for a broader dialogue between mental health professionals and faith leaders, fostering mutual understanding and collaboration that can enhance the support provided to individuals navigating mental health challenges.

Conclusion: A Journey of Faith and Healing

The intersection of Christian faith and counseling represents a promising frontier in the pursuit of holistic healing. It acknowledges the complex, multifaceted nature of human existence, offering an approach that nurtures the mind, body, and spirit. For individuals rooted in Christian faith, this integration offers a path that aligns with their deepest values, encouraging healing and growth that resonates with their spiritual journey.

As we continue to explore this intersection, we embrace not only the potential for profound personal transformation but also the opportunity to deepen our collective understanding of what it means to live well. In grounding counseling practices in the rich soil of Christian faith, we open the door to a form of healing that is both deeply personal and expansively communal, offering hope and renewal to those on the journey toward wholeness.