Christian Counselor Directory Blog

The internet is where our kids learn, play, and connect—but it’s also where they can become vulnerable to online predators and exploitation. Parents don’t need to panic, but we do need to stay informed.

Our founder, Christy Graham, spends a lot of time learning about human trafficking from local, state, national and even international experts. She suggests several specific family habits that can improve safety, teach skills for healthy, and catch red flag situations early.
Family Habits

1. Create electronic free zones in the bedroom and at meals.

2. Evaluate media using trusted sources like Common Sense Media.

3. Play on the online platforms your child is using.

4. Ask best/worst/weird questions about everything and everywhere.
Next Steps

Human Trafficking Institute, a group that trains legal professionals on how to prosecute human trafficking, recently had a lunch and learn. That’s why we’re sharing a helpful Parent Guide from the Human Trafficking Institute—a trusted resource designed to help families protect children and teens from online grooming, manipulation, and trafficking risks. The guide offers clear, age-appropriate tips on how to talk with your kids about online safety, recognize red flags, and set healthy digital boundaries.

Whether your child is just starting to use social media or already has an active online life, this guide will help you start conversations that keep them safe without fear or shame.

👉 Download the guide here: HTI Online Safety Guide
Then take ten minutes tonight to look through it together as a family—because online safety starts with open communication.

Christy would love to connect if you have questions or need training to support these family habits. Contact her at Christy@AcornCounseling.Services. If you are concerned about media use, possible exposure or exploitation, please contact her today. If you see something odd and want to report possible Human Trafficking, call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1-888-373-7888.

Have you asked your teenager a simple question, like “How was your day?” and gotten a
one-word answer, such as “Fine”? Or maybe you only received a shrug. We can feel powerless
when our teenagers stop talking to us. While this withdrawal is a typical part of seeking
independence, it can also signal underlying mental health issues, leaving parents unsure how to
respond. The good news is, parents, you’re not powerless. While we often focus on their
academic and athletic skills, one of the most valuable skills a teenager can develop is effective
communication. And it is the most trainable of all skills.
Support Your Teen

The “Level Up Your Connections” group, offered by Acorn Counseling Education
Services, is designed for teenagers to learn and practice practical skills that improve their
everyday communication. These skills are not rote theoretical concepts, but real-world tools that
can be personalized and applied in daily situations. The goal is to expand their toolkit with
practical ways to express their thoughts while also building their self-confidence. Teens will
master their skills in a productive way that feels natural, powering them to navigate social
interactions with confidence and ease.
Let’s Talk, Parent to Parent

I’ll never forget the night my daughter, who barely spoke to me, opened up about a
problem with a friend. We didn’t solve it, but we re-established a connection. Our goal is to
improve family communication, as well as encourage healthy interactions with oneself,
classmates, friends, teachers, and potential employers. Effective communication between parents
and teenagers can reduce stress and foster healthier families, making improved relationships a
reality we can look forward to.
Group Focus

The group begins with “Find Your Core”. Navigating adolescence involves more than
just fitting in; it’s about developing a strong inner compass by finding your ‘core‘. For teens,
discovering this core means identifying their authentic selves, their deeply held values, beliefs,
and purpose—beyond external pressures from friends, social media, or other expectations. While
the group is getting to know its members, we will delve into their values and what is dear to
them. Discovering what truly matters to a person is about stepping out of the taken-for-granted
mode and helping them see that their actions have an impact on those around them. By
recognizing what matters most, teens can build self-respect, make confident decisions, and
cultivate resilience to stay grounded even when faced with challenges. This journey of self-
discovery provides the foundation for a more authentic and meaningful life.

The ”Skills to Chill and Talk” sessions will focus on learning how to communicate by
sharing your thoughts and feelings with confidence. Mastering the skills to ‘chill and talk’ helps
teens navigate conflicts and deepen relationships. Instead of reacting with heightened emotions,
chilling involves learning to pause, take a deep breath, and calm down before responding.
Talking effectively means using ‘I feel’ statements to express feelings constructively without
placing blame, while also practicing active listening to understand the other person’s perspective.
By embracing these techniques, teens can transform potential fights into opportunities for mutual
understanding, fostering more positive and resilient social connections. This shift empowers
them to approach disagreements with maturity and a focus on finding a resolution rather than
winning an argument.

“Lower the Drama” sessions focus on learning healthier ways to handle conflict and
stress. Teens will explore strategies and role-play different scenarios to help them determine
their preferred styles of communication. Rather than fueling drama for attention or out of
insecurity, teens can develop better coping mechanisms. Cultivating emotional intelligence,
practicing active listening, and communicating feelings clearly can help teens navigate
disagreements with friends and family more productively. Encouraging teens to focus on their
goals and healthy relationships, and to know when to disengage from toxic situations, provides
them with the tools to prioritize a more positive and stable social life. By developing these skills,
teens can learn to manage conflict constructively, rather than letting drama dictate their
interactions.
Next Step
Counselor Cheri Sassmann

Cheri Sassman, LPC Associate Supervised by Kathryn Morgan, LPC S

Join us for six engaging ninety-minute sessions where we will explore communication
scenarios, analyze impactful video clips, and participate in discussions and role-plays. We’ll
infuse humor into our learning while valuing everyone’s contributions. Together, we’ll focus on
the present and shape a positive future by applying evidence-based skills that enhance self-
confidence, respect, and healthy boundaries. The potential for improved relationships and
academic performance is within your reach. Don’t miss out—sign up today by emailing Cheri@AcornCounseling.Services! The group starts on October 21, 2025, at 4:00 PM.

Relationships are the cornerstone of human connection, enriching our lives through shared love, trust, and support. But as rewarding as relationships can be, they also come with their challenges. One of the most significant struggles people face is finding the balance between preserving grace—acting with kindness and understanding—and establishing boundaries that protect their well-being. It’s a delicate dance, but when done well, it creates healthier and more fulfilling relationships, not just with others but also with ourselves.

What Does It Mean to Balance Grace and Boundaries?

Grace in relationships refers to the ability to give others kindness, patience, and understanding, even when they fall short or make mistakes. It's about seeing the humanity in others, offering forgiveness, and cultivating empathy. On the other hand, boundaries represent the limits we set to protect our emotional, physical, and mental well-being. They prevent us from being taken advantage of and establish what behaviors are acceptable in a relationship.

Balancing grace and boundaries means recognizing the inherent value in both. It’s about being kind and compassionate without sacrificing self-respect or allowing others to compromise your personal values. For example, showing grace might mean forgiving a friend who unintentionally hurt you, while setting a boundary might involve explaining calmly why certain behaviors aren’t acceptable moving forward.

Why Is This Balance Important?

When one side of the balance outweighs the other, relationships can suffer:

1. When There’s Grace but No Boundaries

Without boundaries, grace can become enabling. Constantly excusing harmful behavior under the guise of forgiveness creates an environment where unhealthy dynamics thrive. Over giving and tolerating disrespect can lead to resentment, burnout, and feelings of being taken for granted.

Example: You may forgive a partner repeatedly for dismissing your feelings during arguments, believing you're being “gracious.” However, over time, this lack of boundaries erodes trust and leaves you feeling unheard and undervalued.

2. When There Are Boundaries but No Grace

Excessively rigid boundaries, on the other hand, can alienate others and inhibit connection. If relationships become overly transactional or defensive, they lose emotional depth and vulnerability. Boundaries without grace may come across as cold or dismissive.

Example: You may isolate yourself from someone after an argument by refusing to engage, thinking you’re protecting yourself. But without grace and dialogue, the relationship may dissolve unnecessarily.

A balance ensures relationships are built on mutual respect and compassion, while safeguarding personal well-being. Grace allows you to see the good in people; boundaries ensure that you don’t lose yourself in the process.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries While Being Gracious

Striking the balance between grace and boundaries requires intentionality. Below are steps to help nurture relationships without compromising your emotional health:

1. Define Your Boundaries Clearly

Healthy boundaries are specific and non-negotiable. These boundaries reflect core values and personal limits; they’re not about controlling others but about honoring yourself.

Example: “I need time to decompress after work, so I’m setting a boundary that I won’t answer phone calls during that time.

Be clear when communicating boundaries but do so in a calm and respectful way. Grace comes into play in how you set and enforce them—without blame or resentment.

2. Know the Difference Between Grace and Tolerance

Grace doesn’t mean tolerating repeated disrespect or patterns of harm. It’s important to discern when someone’s behavior is a one-time mistake versus a recurring issue.

Example: You can show grace by forgiving a friend for canceling plans last-minute once, but a boundary might be needed if this becomes a habit.

Tip: Grace requires self-reflection. Ask yourself, *“Am I excusing this behavior out of compassion, or am I enabling it at my own expense?”*

3. Use “I” Statements to Foster Communication

When addressing boundaries, avoid accusatory tones that escalate tension. Instead, use “I” statements to express your needs while prioritizing grace.

Example: “I feel overwhelmed when our conversations include sarcasm; could we approach things more calmly?”

This approach affirms your perspective while allowing space for an open conversation.

4. Be Gracious, But Firm

Grace doesn’t mean allowing boundaries to be crossed repeatedly. If someone ignores your limits, hold firm while communicating kindly. Think of grace as the way you deliver your boundaries—not whether you enforce them.

Example: “I appreciate that you want time with me, but when you don’t respect my alone time, it affects my ability to recharge. I need you to honor this boundary so I can be present when we’re together.”

Boundaries are meant to protect your energy, not punish others. Approach the situation with understanding but maintain your stance.

5. Forgive, But Don’t Forget to Protect Yourself

Grace often involves forgiveness, but this doesn’t mean overlooking repeated offenses. You can forgive someone’s behavior while adjusting your boundaries to prevent further harm. Forgiveness and accountability can coexist.

Example: “I forgive you for what happened, but moving forward I need to establish more space in our relationship for my emotional well-being.”

Building Graceful Boundaries as a Lifestyle

Balancing grace and boundaries aren’t just about specific relationships—it’s a personal mindset that can improve all areas of your life. As you begin practicing this balance, remember:

1. It’s OK to Say No.
Setting boundaries might cause discomfort at first. Grace reminds us that we can say no with kindness and clarity.
2. Reciprocity Over Sacrifice.
Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect. Grace involves compassion, but boundaries ensure reciprocity so that you don’t sacrifice your needs entirely.
3. You Can Be Compassionate Without Accepting Harm.
Grace reminds us that forgiveness is powerful, but boundaries ensure that repeated harm doesn’t become an ongoing cost.

Final Thoughts

Balancing grace and boundaries is like tending a garden. Grace is the water—it nurtures growth and strengthens connections. Boundaries are the fence—they protect the garden from damage and allow it to flourish. Both are essential ingredients for thriving relationships.

By approaching relationships with kindness and self-respect, we can foster deeper connections without losing sight of our own well-being. Whether it’s with friends, family, partners, or colleagues, learning this balance is key to living authentically and building relationships that serve and strengthen everyone involved.

So, next time you find yourself navigating a tough situation, ask: *How can I extend grace while also honoring my needs?* With practice, this balance can transform your relationships—and your life.

Mom! Mama! Mommy! Mother! Bruh! Do You Need Some Support School and routines are back in full swing, you have put all your hats back on and you’re in full fall mode. Is there something feeling off this year? A feeling of overwhelm, dread, fear or frustration that isn’t letting up as the weeks go on? You are not alone, many of us are experiencing a sense of uneasiness in this season. The world feels heavy, politically the divide is deeper than ever. Confusion, loss & loneliness are themes many of us are dealing with. Mounting concerns about the economy and the future take up space in an already full mind, contributing to further disconnect and anxiety. Tip toeing in social situations for fear of saying the wrong thing or being rejected by those we care for is draining emotionally and spiritually. Life continues to go on, even when dealing with uncertainty, contributing to emotional burnout. Are you struggling to meet deadlines and expectations? Does it feel like there is not enough time or space to manage your emotions and find your footing? Have you considered Faith based counseling or therapy? I can offer you a safe place to say the quiet part out loud, to express your true thoughts and feelings and to explore how you fit in this crazy world.

How Can Therapy Help Me? Therapy can offer a multitude of benefits, from learning new stress management skills to truly making time for a much needed break. Let’s be honest, this season is generally pretty stressful for a lot of us, especially mothers with school age kids. Homeschool, private school or public school moms can all struggle with new routines and feeling burnt out. Getting started in therapy is not going to take away real life demands, it can however support you through this season. You gain the ability to learn new skills that help you move through the stress in an authentic way. A way that reflects who you are as a mother, partner and Daughter of The Most High. Instead of shoving the feelings down you can give yourself the opportunity to untangle them and find true peace, even in the chaos. Scheduling weekly or bi weekly sessions, or even a therapy intensive weekend is time where you get to focus on you. You will get to lay it all out on the table and your voice will be heard. While many therapists offer an empathetic ear, validation and encouragement, I take healing a step further. Together, we will examine what is working in your life and what needs to go. We take the time to establish healthy routines and habits that transition you from moving through life like a wild banshee to actually thriving. You are the heart of the home, this may feel like an overwhelming role now, but learning to see yourself the way that the Creator of the Universe views you is like taking the blinders off. You were created for this season, to be here raising tiny (or big) humans, to prepare them for what comes next. I encourage you not to hide away under hustle and grind or a glass of wine. Step into the woman and mother you were designed to be.

What Issues Are Supported? I work with women, couples & families in order to address coping with uncertainty, healing from & preventing burnout, relationship conflicts including communication issues, parenting, healing from trauma, spiritual issues, ADHD, anxiety & depression. If you are dealing with something else and would like to discuss working together, please reach out!

What Do Therapy Sessions Look Like? I do not take a one-size-fits-all approach to therapy. Your needs & experiences are unique and you deserve a therapist who will honor that. I have many different models that I use including weekly, bi weekly and intensive sessions. Some clients I see for 45 minutes every other week and others I see for 120 minutes per week. My intensive clients book a whole 2-3 day weekend to spend with me. You can read more about therapy intensives Here.

First we schedule a consult in order to ensure working together is a good fit for all. We will schedule an intake session to get to know your needs and set goals. Then we jump in, either literally go for it over hours/days or we can take a more relaxed pace. Ramping up or slowing down to meet you exactly where you are-to provide a chance for unhurried healing. You are the owner of your information, you can share as much or as little as you would like, with no pressure or judgement. My intention is to assist you in attaining the skills you need to thrive, to finally experience healing and to connect with your body in a way that empowers you.

Where Are Services Located? I offer in person sessions in a comfortable office or out in nature in beautiful Ventura, CA. If you are unable to travel to the area, we can meet via secure video or phone across California, Florida and South Carolina. From Sacramento to San Francisco to San Diego, if you are anywhere in the State of California you can access therapy that fits your needs. Individuals, families and couples located in Charleston to Greenville and everywhere else in the state of South Carolina and all throughout Florida are able to participate in Telehealth therapy and counseling.

Is Faith a Requirement? No, you do not need to have a specific spiritual or religious affiliation in order to receive therapy with me. I am happy to work with individuals, families and couples from all different walks of life. We are all people, having human experiences that sometimes just need a little extra support. I have a Christ centered world view, believe the Bible is the infallible word of God and have a deep rooted belied that all people deserve compassion and support. I am happy to incorporate any level of faith or spirituality that feels comfortable for you including (but not limited to) prayer, scripture references, Biblical counseling and meditation.

How Do I Get Started? You can reach out by call or text to 424-703-3555 or you can email Raishelle@HolisticChristianTherapy.com It is as simple as a first contact. You can find information around fees and services on my website. I am happy to answer any questions or concerns you may have. If what I offer does not seem like a fit please feel free reach out and I will send you a list of referrals who may be better suited for your needs. I look forward to waking alongside you for whatever part of this healing journey I am able to.

The Power of Temperament: Why Personality Tests Aren’t Enough

In today’s culture, personality quizzes are everywhere—from workplace assessments to lighthearted social media tests. People are hungry to understand themselves and others better. And while tools can spark insight, they often skim the surface. To build stronger relationships—whether at home, in the workplace, or in our communities—we need to go deeper. That’s where the study of temperament comes in.
Personality vs. Temperament: What’s the Difference?

Personality is what we project outward: how we behave, adapt, and interact with the world. It can shift based on context—who we’re with, what pressures we’re under, even how our day is going. Personality is flexible and often shaped by environment and experience.
Temperament, however, runs deeper. It is our core wiring—our natural inclinations, emotional needs, and the ways we recharge or deplete our energy. Unlike personality, temperament doesn’t change with trends or circumstances. It’s the framework upon which personality is built.
Think of it like this: if personality is the outfit you choose for the day, temperament is your actual DNA.
Why Temperament Matters More Than Personality Alone

When we only look at personality, we can miss the deeper motivators behind human behavior. For example, two people might both come across as outgoing at a party. A personality test would label them “extroverted.” But temperament could reveal very different truths:

One thrives on social energy because their core need is approval and affirmation.
The other appears outgoing but actually prefers depth and quiet—socializing drains them quickly.
Without understanding temperament, leaders, spouses, or friends may misinterpret what someone truly needs to thrive.


Practical Applications in Everyday Life
Conflict Resolution: Many conflicts aren’t about the issue itself but about unmet needs. If one person’s temperament craves peace and another craves control, their approaches will naturally clash—until both learn to honor the other’s wiring.
Personal Growth: Self-awareness of temperament provides clarity about why certain environments feel draining while others feel energizing. It gives people permission to stop comparing themselves and instead lean into their strengths.
Workplace Teams: Understanding temperament helps managers know whether an employee needs structure or flexibility, affirmation or independence. That insight can boost morale, reduce turnover, and prevent burnout.

Moving Beyond Labels
The true value of temperament analysis is that it avoids boxing people into rigid categories. Instead, it offers a lens for compassion and understanding. When we see ourselves and others through the deeper framework of temperament, we shift from judgment to empathy. And in a world often divided by misunderstandings, that shift is more than useful—it’s transformative.

Restoring the Whole Self: Integrating Somatic Psychotherapy with Christian Counseling

In our fast-paced and often fragmented world, healing is increasingly recognized as needing to engage not only the mind and spirit but the body as well. This holistic view is foundational to both somatic psychotherapy and Christian counseling. By integrating the two, individuals can experience a deeper, more embodied transformation that honors both their physical and spiritual realities.

What Is Somatic Psychotherapy?


Somatic psychotherapy is a body-centered approach to mental health. It recognizes that trauma and emotional pain are often stored not just in the mind, but in the nervous system and musculature of the body. Techniques such as breath work, grounding exercises, movement, and body awareness are used to help clients release tension, process trauma, and reconnect with their embodied self.

This approach is rooted in neuroscience and trauma research, particularly the understanding that the body often “remembers” what the mind may forget or suppress. Somatic therapy helps clients become aware of these embodied memories and sensations and gently work through them in a safe and supportive environment.



The Christian Perspective: Healing Through Christ


Christian counseling, on the other hand, is rooted in biblical principles. It acknowledges the spiritual dimension of human beings and centers healing in the person of Jesus Christ. Through Scripture, prayer, forgiveness, and grace, Christian counseling offers hope and redemption. It addresses the deep spiritual wounds that may underlie emotional or relational struggles.

Christian theology affirms that humans are integrated beings—body, soul, and spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:23). Therefore, a Christian framework for counseling naturally aligns with the holistic ethos of somatic therapy.



Why Integrate the Two?


When Christian faith and somatic practices are integrated, a profound and compassionate form of healing becomes possible. Many Christians experience guilt, anxiety, or shame that is held deeply in their bodies—especially when faith and emotions feel disconnected. Somatic practices can help clients locate those tensions and bring them to the surface, where they can be addressed with both therapeutic insight and spiritual truth.

For example, someone struggling with anxiety might discover that certain physical sensations (tight chest, clenched jaw) are connected to fear-based beliefs or past trauma. Through somatic techniques, they can safely explore those sensations while grounding themselves in God’s promises—such as “Do not fear, for I am with you” (Isaiah 41:10).



Core Practices of Integration


Here are a few ways somatic psychotherapy can be woven into Christian counseling:

Breath Prayer: Combining breathwork with prayer (e.g., inhaling “Lord Jesus Christ,” exhaling “have mercy on me”) calms the nervous system while focusing the mind on God’s presence.
Embodied Scripture Meditation: Instead of reading Scripture cognitively, clients are invited to sit with a verse, notice bodily sensations, and listen for the Spirit’s prompting in their inner experience.
Body Awareness and Discernment: Clients learn to tune into their physical responses during decision-making, helping them discern God’s peace or warning signals not just intellectually but bodily.
Forgiveness Work: Forgiveness is central to Christian counseling, and somatic work can help clients release stored anger, grief, or shame that remains physically held in the body.


Challenges and Considerations


Integrating these two approaches requires sensitivity and discernment. Not all somatic practices are appropriate for every client, especially those unfamiliar or uncomfortable with body-based work. Similarly, Christian counselors must ensure that somatic methods are used in a way that honors biblical truth and doesn’t drift into spiritual practices incompatible with Christian theology.

Ethical, theological, and clinical boundaries must be clearly maintained. Collaboration between trained somatic therapists and Christian counselors—or professionals trained in both—can make this integration safer and more effective.

Conclusion: Embodied Redemption


The God of Scripture is deeply concerned with the body. Jesus came in a body, healed bodies, and was resurrected in a glorified body. Somatic psychotherapy, when grounded in Christ-centered truth, can be a powerful companion to Christian counseling. Together, they point toward a holistic vision of healing—where mind, body, and spirit are reconciled and restored through the love of God.

For those seeking freedom from emotional and spiritual burdens, this integrated approach offers hope: not just to think differently or feel better, but to live fully, with Christ in every breath, every movement, and every step forward.

When Christian couples enter marriage, they carry expectations about their relationship. I remember thinking that since both my wife and I loved God deeply, our marriage would naturally flow with grace and harmony. The reality proved far more challenging, shattering my preconceptions about Christian marriage. Many christian couples face this same disorienting experience, wondering how two people devoted to God can struggle so intensely with conflict and hurt.

This disconnect between expectations and reality creates a profound spiritual and emotional crisis for Christian couples. When they can't find peace in their marriage, it shakes the very foundation of their faith. If the conflict persists, they often build emotional walls, not just with each other but also in their relationship with God, attempting to protect themselves by withdrawing into isolation and emotional distance.
As the distance grows between spouses, each becomes increasingly convinced of their own perspective's legitimacy. They begin viewing their partner's actions through an increasingly critical lens, sometimes even questioning their spouse's character or mental health with labels like (ADHD, Aspergers, Narcissism). Both partners can fall into this pattern of negative interpretation. When they finally seek Christian marriage counseling, each often hopes the counselor will simply correct their spouse's behavior.

But I want to present a different vision of Christian marriage

counseling: instead of focusing solely on who is right and who is wrong in the relationship, we emphasize relational integration and healing.
Our deep need for connection mirrors God's image within us. Marriage unites two individuals in an interpersonal journey, and it's precisely within this interpersonal space that many Christian marriages face their greatest challenges.

The core issue often stems from a lack of emotional intelligence in Christian couples. Many believers struggle to process their own negative emotions, particularly anger, and consequently feel overwhelmed when facing their spouse's strong feelings. This emotional illiteracy leads couples to argue against each other's emotional experiences as if emotions themselves represented absolute truth. However, emotions express personal experience rather than define reality. Even Jesus experienced emotions but never let them drive His decisions; instead, He consistently responded through virtuous principles. The first step toward marriage restoration requires Christian couples to develop emotional intelligence – understanding the proper role of emotions in their personal lives and marriage relationship.

This emotional foundation enables the development of what I term relational intelligence – the ability to communicate effectively and directly within the relationship leading to intimacy. Without emotional intelligence as a foundation, couples cannot achieve true relational intelligence. And without both these crucial elements working together, healthy conflict resolution remains out of reach. Through Christian marriage counseling, couples can develop these essential skills, transforming their relationship from a source of pain into a testament of God's healing power.
In our Christian marriage counseling program, The Marriage Rescue Institute, we guide couples through a transformative 12-week journey. This process helps them develop essential emotional intelligence, relational intelligence, and conflict resolution skills to rebuild their marriage on the pillar principles of healthy relationships. These core competencies form the bedrock of lasting marital restoration.

Throughout our experience working with married couples, we've seen couples who faced separation, struggled with infidelity, or believed their spouse exhibited narcissistic traits heal and restore their marriage. Often, couples see the immediate problems from disagreements; like finances, parenting, fidelity, and trust, as the core problems, not realizing that there is an underlying process that is subverting their ability to build a healthy marriage. These types of couples almost always find success in our marriage program, especially if they are both committed to the process.
As a Marriage Therapist and a father blessed with four children, I hold an unwavering belief in the inherent worthiness of marriage. If your marriage feels broken, we want you to know that the Marriage Rescue Institute is in the habit of putting broken marriages back together. Hold on to hope, we can equip you with the emotional intelligence, relational wisdom, and conflict resolution skills needed for a thriving marriage. Perhaps you believe your situation lies beyond hope, but God's restoration power knows no limits. Through Christian marriage counseling, we've helped reunite couples separated by infidelity and witnessed their relationships flourish long after therapy ends. Let us partner with you in facing these challenges! If you're barely holding on, keep hope alive! I believe that your marriage is worth saving, but do you?

Join us for a transformative 12-week program designed to strengthen family bonds and address the root causes of conflict and dysfunction. This program is ideal for families, especially those with children aged 12 and up, who are eager to work together in a confidential and supportive space towards collective healing and mutual understanding.

Upcoming Sessions:
• Regularly convening on Sundays, beginning September 21, from 6:00 PM to 7:30 PM EST.
• Please mark your calendars for additional dates: Tuesday, September 30 (7:00 PM - 8:30 PM EST) and Thursday, November 6 (6:00 PM - 7:30 PM EST).

Duration:
• Each online session lasts for 90 minutes.
Venue:
• Hosted on Zoom for your convenience.

Participation Fee:
• A one-time investment of $500 per family unit.

Early Registration Offer:
• Families can save $50 by registering at least 4 weeks early.

Flexible Payment:
• Half of the fee is due prior to the first session, and the remaining balance is due by session three.

Space is Limited:
• To ensure a quality experience, the program is capped at 8 family units.
Secure your spot now for an opportunity to transform your family's relationships.

Learn More:
https://www.restoringyouchristiancounseling.com/circle-of-hop

Pre-Registration Form
https://www.restoringyouchristiancounseling.com/circle-of-hop

Faster Results in Therapy: How Therapy Intensives Speed Up Emotional Recovery

TL;DR:
Therapy can feel like a very slow process for many people. Therapy Intensives are extended sessions that go beyond the traditional 50 minute weekly sessions. Through the use intensive sessions with faith based, holistic & somatic interventions we are able to identify root cause and work toward healing much quicker. Adults who are ready to align their lifestyles with their faith or experiencing burnout & couples in crisis, find intensive sessions to be the jump start they have desperately been needing. Call today to learn more & get scheduled.

Traditional models of therapy typically allow for weekly 50 minute sessions. While many clients find this to be useful and healing, it can feel slow and unproductive for others. I work with busy professionals and families who are already experiencing a time deficit. Adding in another weekly appointment and taking up valuable calendar real estate can be off putting and often keeps people from beginning therapy in the first place. After investing weeks or months in weekly 50 minute therapy sessions, with minimal identifiable progress, it may start to feel like the investment of time and money is just not worth it. The slow ramp up to progress may be beneficial for some individuals, those who want to go slower have the choice to do so. What about those that are seeking quicker relief and faster healing through therapy? For them, there is another way. Therapy intensives are the express lane of therapy, they give you the freedom to invest your time upfront in order to see results quicker.

Why Healing Can Take Time in Weekly Therapy
There are limitations with meeting for 50 minutes on a weekly basis. The core of the session can feel hard to get to. You jump on zoom or arrive in the office and take the time to get comfortable. You may be fitting this appointment in on your lunch hour or after work before extra curricular with kids. You might even be missing dinner with your family for this appointment. While finding the “perfect” time for therapy is encouraged, it really is not always realistic. I know my clients…I know you all want to prioritize your health. The importance of showing up for yourself is talked about regularly in session with me. I know putting that into practice can feel overwhelming, you only have so much free time, right? So you arrive to session, a little preoccupied or overwhelmed from the day. It takes time to settle in, make pleasantries and then you jump in. We make some progress, identify unhealthy coping mechanisms or patterns in your behavior, you are feeling like you are getting somewhere. Then before you know it, we are wrapping up and scheduling for next week. Now, there is nothing wrong with this model, and many of my clients enjoy the break from their week for therapy. Those with deep rooted issues or relationship challenges that are contributing to unhealthy dynamics in the home may feel stuck in this model.

How Intensive Sessions Can Speed Up the Progress
Intensive Sessions are scheduled during a long block of time that you get to carve out for therapy. It does not require a weekly investment of your time and energy, but a block of time to dedicate to what is really holding you back. The structure of our session reinforces quicker progress and healing, we spend time identifying the issues you want and need to work on then we address those key areas. The length of the session decreases limitations put progress on by traditional models of therapy. We will create a plan together, one that is flexible and meets your specific needs. Therapy should never follow a one-size fits all approach, your needs and experiences are unique and it is important you work with someone who sees you that way. Deeper emotional processing can be experienced with an approach that is able to focus on your specific needs. People who attend intensive sessions often identify quicker breakthroughs with this unhurried approach. We have the opportunity to set up our sessions in a multitude of ways with built in breaks and clear goals for our time together. We have a few different ways to meet you where you are and begin addressing your needs.
Multi Day Intensives: We meet for 3-4 hours over 2-4 days in a row or spread out over several weeks/months.

Semi-Regular Intensive: We meet for 2-4 hours on a cadence that honors your needs & fits your schedule.


Who Benefits from Accelerated Healing

My intensive clients are individuals & couples who are ready to make long lasting and powerful life changes. They recognize areas in their life that need transformation and have a desire to put the effort & work in that is required to see that happen. Therapy intensive can benefit:
-People who recognize unhealthy patterns in behavior, who have a desire to live a more full & spiritual life but are stuck in worldly ways.
-Individuals & couples seeking ready for intensive sessions who desire a faith based, Christ-centered, holistic approach to therapy
-“Hustle” and “grind culture” are not cutting it anymore, there is a readiness to align lifestyle with beliefs
-Couples who find vulnerability difficult because of hurt or betrayal, those who are ready to communicate more effectively and work toward reconnection
-People in the beginning, middle or end of a major life transition, who need to process and build skills to cope
-Homeschool mothers who need to process, be heard and to prevent/overcome overwhelm
-Individuals ready to make significant shifts quickly

Next Steps

If you have a strong desire to experience change quickly, I encourage you to reach out. I would be happy to provide more information on therapy intensives and explore if therapy intensives could be your fastest path forward. Bring your questions and let’s meet for a consultation. I look forward to working with you.

Are you and your partner feeling disconnected amidst the chaos of daily life? Do conflicts and misunderstandings seem to be the norm rather than the exception in your relationship? It's time to change the narrative. "Together Strong" is an immersive 6-week couples counseling group designed to transform your communication, deepen your emotional connection, and foster a healthier, happier relationship.

When: Monday, September 15, 4:00 - 6:00 PM EST

Duration: 2 Hours per Session

Platform: Zoom

Investment: $450 per couple

Group Size: Limited to 12 couples

Next Step:

Registration:

https://docs.google.com/forms/u/2/d/e/1FAIpQLSfnfn8xCxFHP1eJlW441alLP5eMjS-G0C1RSncgcCIAIl9tBw/viewform?usp=preview

Contact:
phone 443-860-6870
email info@restoringyouchristiancounseling.com

How many of us have experienced a panic attack? Well it turns out A LOT. Panic disorders affects 6 million adults, or 2.7% of the U.S. population and women are twice as likely to be affected as men. And that does not include those of us who have only experienced a panic attack once or twice. And if you are one of those who have experienced a panic attack you know how horrible and sometimes scary it can be. But what you do about it can be the difference between it being a one time event and turning into a full blown panic disorder that continues to get worse and may really begin to effect you living your life.

Unfortunately what a lot of us do when we start to experience the beginnings of a panic attack just make it worse. We may try to ignore it at first. Then when we are unable to ignore it we begin to tell ourselves some pretty unhelpful things...like "oh no what is happening to me?", "I'm going to freak out in front of others", "people are going to think I am weird or crazy", "I'm going to faint", "I'm going to have a heart attack" (make sure you check with your doctor if you think this is a possibility), etc. All these things increase our fears and continue to get those hormones racing through our bloodstream even more (it's really interesting how thoughts can do that). And before we know it we are in a full blown panic attack.

So what can we do? Turns out it is pretty simple. I'm going to share with you the 6 step approach that I teach all my anxiety clients that works wonderfully. Some clients have success after one try with this approach others have to practice this more often to completely get rid of their panic attacks.
6 Steps to end the attack

First get yourself some index cards. On the first index card write the bold words of the 6 steps. The other cards are for steps 4 and 5.

1. Accept. Recognize your body symptoms. Get in the habit of being aware of the signals your body is sending you. The key here is catch it before it has gone too far. To try to nip it in the bud so to speak. Are you noticing your breathing getting faster, is face flushed, are your thoughts racing, is there a tightness in your chest or throat, are your muscles tight. Once your recognize the symptoms don't try to push them away. Accept them.

2. Permission. Give yourself permission to be anxious. Tell yourself it is OK to be anxious and it will go away. Don't scare yourself with all kinds of negative thoughts. Let yourself go with the anxiety again not pushing it away.

3. Breathe. Deep breathing for one minute. This is critical and probably one of the most important things to do. If you can't remember any of the other steps do this one. Make sure you slow your breathing down and breathe deep. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Count to 4 in and 6 out holding the breath for a count of 2. Count by 1000s. That will force you to slow down your breathing. Look at a second hand of a watch or set a timer on your phone for 60 seconds.

4. Inner Dialogue. Truthful, positive statements. Do this one ahead of time, don't wait until you are in a panic attack because you won't be able to think. Use a couple of the index cards and write down some positive statements about yourself or about the anxiety itself. Here are some examples: "This will not kill me" "I will be OK" "It will pass" "I have coped before" "This is teaching me patience" "It's just anxiety" "This is my body's way of telling me I need to pay attention and slow down" "I am a capable person". Carry your cards with you so that you can pull them out and look at them often and especially if you start to have a panic attack. Have at least 3 positive statements to tell yourself.

5. Distract. Do something to release the energy. Use some more index cards here. Again have 3 ideas of things you can do to release the energy of the panic. Think of things that will use some energy to temporarily distract you while your hormones dissipate in your body and you calm down. Watching tv or reading a book is probably not the best choice. You could go for a walk or a run, clean your house or a closet, play a sport, or you could take a bath or shower, put a cold compress on your head or neck. Anything that will either use some of the adrenaline or calm you down.

6. Let time pass. It will go away. Finally, it will pass. Give it some time to pass. Especially if the panic attack is full blown it will take your body some time to allow all the chemicals it has released to finish clearing out of your system. So go easy on yourself and allow your body to reset.

OK there you go. Good luck on your journey of freedom from panic attacks. And for more help I use a 15 lesson program to work through the anxiety and usually accompanying depression that is very effective.

So call for an appointment to finally put an end to your anxiety and depression. 928-232-9280. I can take clients from anywhere in the state of Arizona with online and phone sessions.

As Christian therapists, we often work with individuals who feel conflicted about setting boundaries. Many Christians are taught that loving others means constantly giving, staying quiet, or putting others first—even to their own emotional detriment. But in both scripture and psychology, we find that healthy boundaries are essential for emotional health, spiritual growth, and thriving relationships.
In Galatians 6:2–5, we’re called to “carry each other’s burdens” but also reminded that “each one should carry their own load.” In Christian counseling, we use this biblical wisdom to help clients understand the difference between supporting someone in crisis and taking responsibility for things that aren’t ours to carry. Without healthy boundaries, we risk resentment, burnout, and emotional exhaustion—none of which reflect the peace God desires for us.
From a clinical perspective, poor boundaries often stem from childhood trauma, people-pleasing, or growing up in a family system where love had to be earned. Over time, these patterns can lead to anxiety, codependency, or depression. As faith-based therapists, we help clients identify these patterns, rebuild their identity in Christ, and learn practical skills to communicate limits with confidence and compassion.
Jesus modeled healthy boundaries throughout His ministry—He took time to rest (Luke 5:16), didn’t meet everyone’s demands (John 11), and set clear expectations in relationships. Setting boundaries isn't selfish—it’s a form of self-stewardship that allows us to love others without losing our emotional, spiritual, and physical health.
In Christian therapy, you’ll learn how to create relationships rooted in truth, trust, and mutual respect—while keeping your faith at the center. Loving others well means showing up as your full self, not disappearing for the sake of peace.

How is your Communication Quotient? How good is your communication with your staff, coworkers parents, kids and spouse? Answering these following questions may help you determine how you’re doing in leadership and life.

1. Do you own your statements? In other words are you talking about how you feel or perceive the situation rather than stating everything as a fact?

2. Are you making other people responsible for how you think and how you feel? This is frequently called blaming and shaming.

3. Do you believe that other people are responsible FOR you, your feelings or your life?

4. Do you believe that you are responsible FOR other people, their feelings, or their life?

5. Do you know in which ways you are responsible TO other people?

6. Are you good at listening and really good at hearing what other people feel and perceive?

7. Are you getting accountability and feedback about how you come across to other people?

8. How are you at slowing down anger in yourself and others?

9. How might your attachment and entitlement issues be affecting your relationships and communication with others?

10. Are you communicating from one up or one down position to other people thus being intimidated by them or intimidating them?


If you’re having trouble answering these questions, it may mean your CQ is not the best it could be. Reach out and ask for help and feedback from friends, a counselor or a coach. Remember Scriptures admonition: My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry- James 1:19

For many empaths and survivors of narcissistic abuse, stepping into your full power in business, relationships, and life can feel like an overwhelming challenge. The weight of shame, victimhood, and self-doubt often keeps us hiding, waiting for the moment we feel "good enough" to show up. Today, I experienced a profound shift in healing deep layers of these wounds, particularly in how I relate to the masculine and my business. By confronting the pain of childhood emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse, I uncovered how these experiences shaped my fear of being seen and my tendency to perform for validation. If you’ve felt trapped by similar patterns, this guide offers actionable steps to heal from narcissistic abuse, reconnect with your true self, and build a life and business rooted in authenticity and alignment with God’s plan. Optimized for low to medium competition keywords like "healing narcissistic abuse," "overcoming shame in business," and "authentic self in relationships," this post is for anyone ready to break free and embrace their inherent worth.

Understanding the Roots of Shame and Victimhood

Narcissistic abuse—whether from a parent, partner, or authority figure—leaves deep emotional scars that can linger for years. For me, growing up with constant criticism and invalidation ("you’re not good enough," "you don’t know anything") created a core belief that I had to prove my worth. This led to patterns of victimhood and shame, especially in how I approached relationships with the masculine and my business. I carried the pain of emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse from my father, which made me hesitant to take risks or fully express myself. Instead of connecting authentically, I hid behind performance, trying to control how others perceived me to avoid rejection.

If this sounds familiar, know that these patterns are not your identity—they’re survival mechanisms developed to cope with prolonged trauma. Narcissistic abuse often leads to hypervigilance, people-pleasing, or dissociation, where you disconnect from your pain to feel safe. These behaviors can show up as avoiding risks in business, fearing criticism from clients, or expecting hurt in relationships. Healing begins by acknowledging these wounds without judgment and recognizing how they block your ability to live authentically.

Actionable Step: Set aside 10 minutes to journal about a memory where you felt invalidated or criticized. Write down the emotions—shame, fear, or hurt—and notice how they influence your actions today, whether in business decisions or personal connections. For further insight, explore Psychology Today’s guide on narcissistic abuse to understand its long-term effects.

Breaking the Cycle of Performance

One of the most profound realizations I had today was how much I relied on performance to shield myself from pain. By seeking external validation or trying to control others’ perceptions, I disconnected from my true self. This showed up as projecting victimhood onto the masculine—expecting hurt because that’s what I knew from years of abuse—and avoiding the risks of building my business. I was so used to being criticized that I approached opportunities with wounding, assuming I’d be rejected or dismissed. Performance felt like a safe armor, but it kept me from creating authentically and aligning with my purpose.

Healing from narcissistic abuse means dismantling these false structures and embracing your inherent worth. For me, this involved sitting with the pain of past abuse, grieving the years I spent hiding, and letting go of the need to manipulate how I’m perceived. By doing so, I began to connect with my deeper self, trusting that my journey—messy and imperfect—is enough. This shift allows you to create from a place of authenticity, whether you’re launching a business, marketing your services, or building relationships.

Actionable Step: Practice a somatic exercise like deep breathing or body scanning to reconnect with your body and release stored pain. The Greater Good Science Center offers mindfulness practices that can help you stay present and move away from performance-based habits. Try this for five minutes daily to ground yourself in your authentic self.

Reclaiming Power in Relationships with the Masculine

Narcissistic abuse can deeply distort how we relate to others, especially in gendered dynamics. For me, approaching the masculine with wounding—expecting hurt or rejection—was a direct result of my past. I projected my pain, assuming others would harm me because that’s what I experienced growing up. This showed up not just in personal relationships but also in my business, where I hesitated to market myself or set boundaries with clients, fearing criticism or failure.

Healing this meant owning my hurt, not closing off, but processing it so I could engage from a place of strength. It’s about recognizing that you don’t have to carry the wounds of past abuse into new interactions. By healing the shame and fear tied to those experiences, you can approach relationships—personal and professional—with confidence and clarity. This doesn’t mean everyone will align with you, but it frees you to connect authentically with those who value your true self.

Actionable Step: Reflect on a relationship (personal or professional) where you feel guarded or expect hurt. Write down one boundary you can set to protect your energy while staying open, such as declining a client’s unrealistic demand or communicating your needs clearly. For guidance on setting boundaries, check out Verywell Mind’s article on healthy boundaries.

Aligning with God’s Plan for Healing

A turning point in my healing was trusting God’s plan over my own need for control. For years, I thought I was waiting to be ready—to be good enough for business, relationships, or success. But I realized God was waiting for me to connect with myself. This shift was deeply influenced by my mother’s illness and passing, which taught me that true healing comes from surrendering to divine will. By aligning with God’s grace, I let go of the need to perform or prove myself, trusting that the right people—clients, friends, or partners—would find me.

For survivors of narcissistic abuse, this spiritual alignment can be a game-changer. It’s about knowing your worth isn’t tied to others’ approval but to your God-given purpose. This perspective helped me stop scaling my business from a place of fear and instead focus on sharing my journey authentically. Whether through prayer, meditation, or journaling, connecting to your spiritual center can guide you to release shame and step into sovereignty.

Actionable Step: Spend five minutes in prayer or meditation, asking for guidance to trust your journey. Journal any insights about how past pain might be blocking your alignment with your purpose. The Chopra Center offers guided meditations for emotional healing that can support this process.

Building a Sovereign Business as an Empath

Running a business as an empath or survivor of narcissistic abuse means letting go of perfectionism and the fear of not being liked. For me, avoiding core pain kept me from creating authentically, but healing those wounds showed me that my story—overcoming CPTSD, codependency, and shame—is enough. You don’t need to share every detail of your life, just like in dating; you only need to show up as your true self, trusting that your journey will resonate with those who need it.

This sovereignty extends to health and wealth creation. The shame from abuse can make you feel powerless around money or success, but by healing these layers, you reclaim your ability to build a thriving business. Being part of a Christian community provided me with practical business tools and spiritual support, reinforcing that my work is part of a divine plan. Whether you’re creating a course, coaching clients, or sharing your story, focus on authenticity over performance.

Actionable Step: Create a small offering—like a blog post, workshop, or social media share—based on one aspect of your healing journey. Focus on authenticity, not perfection. For business tips tailored to empaths, explore Entrepreneur’s guide to emotional intelligence.

Moving Forward with Authentic Expression

Healing from narcissistic abuse is about connecting with your true self, not performing for others. It’s about sitting with the pain, releasing the shame, and trusting that you are enough. For me, this meant letting go of the need to control perceptions and instead sharing my story of healing trauma and finding worth. It’s not about scaling a business or building relationships from fear, but from alignment with God and self.

If you’re feeling stuck, isolated, or disconnected, know that this may be a season where God is calling you to find yourself. Authentic relationships—with clients, friends, or partners—start with that connection to your true self. By healing the wounds of narcissistic abuse, you can step into your power, create a soul-aligned business, and live with the freedom of knowing you’re enough.

Call to Action: Share one part of your healing journey in the comments below or with a trusted friend. How has letting go of shame or victimhood helped you show up in your business or relationships? For more resources on healing trauma, visit The National Center for PTSD or connect with a trauma-informed therapist to support your journey. Book a free consultation here

Christian Families: How an Open-Screen Policy Can Enhance Your Relationship and Protect Your Family

What Does a Healthy Open-Screen Policy Actually Look Like?

There are many conflicting messages about cellphone usage in relationships. Some argue that your phone is your personal property and your spouse should not have access. Others advocate for complete transparency, with both partners having full access to each other’s phones, even before marriage.

Transparency builds trust, and trust is a foundational building block of any relationship. Without it, intimacy cannot fully exist. For intimacy to thrive in a marriage or serious long-term relationship, it must remain exclusive between two people. In a healthy Christian marriage, there should be no such thing as a private, secret online life.

Part of protecting a relationship is for both spouses to honor each other with their screen use. This means not engaging in private conversations with the opposite sex, not viewing pornography or lewd social media, not checking up on former partners, and being mindful of what is watched on TV or online.

Private screens often lead to secrecy and infidelity, while an open-screen policy creates accountability. Husbands should be honored to demonstrate years of clean history, and wives should also be free and proud to display their digital activities.

Wait, Isn’t This Abusive or Controlling?

No. An open-screen policy is not abusive or controlling. It should be based on mutual consent and a shared desire to build emotional safety. It must be equal. Both partners should have the same level of access and control. Both should understand how accountability software works on their devices.

This policy is not recommended in abusive relationships where one partner enforces it without the other’s consent or without reciprocating access. Consent is essential.

Often, resistance to transparency comes from a spouse who has something to hide. Claiming that openness is controlling can be a tactic to prevent accountability. Requesting full access to a spouse’s phone is acceptable in a committed relationship. Emotional safety is cultivated when couples do not have to wonder what their partner is doing in secret.

Shouldn’t We Just Trust Each Other?

Trust is central to marriage. An open device policy provides a way to actively demonstrate trustworthiness. It reassures your spouse that you are being faithful and that you are committed to protecting the relationship from external threats.

Accountability reports from your devices eliminate uncertainty and stress. An open policy strengthens trust by confirming your commitment to transparency.

This Is Where Healing Begins

For couples recovering from betrayal, openness is a key part of healing. An open-screen policy gives the betrayed partner reassurance and access to their partner’s inner world. It removes the need for secrecy, accusations, or suspicion. Emotional safety should be freely offered, not chased.

Accountability software supports this process by providing clarity, but it must be consent-based. When combined with counseling or spiritual guidance, it can open the door to deeper connection and renewed trust.

Where Do I Start?

Begin with a conversation. Discuss the benefits, limitations, and expectations of an open-screen policy. Both partners must agree. Consider allowing a short grace period for each person to clear old content or make confessions. This gives the couple a fresh start.

Accountability software such as Truple can help. It takes screenshots periodically, alerts a spouse of concerning activity, and creates a record of device use. Couples can set the frequency and choose how transparent they want their reports to be. If signing up from a desktop, feel free to use our code SOJO10 for a 10% discount off the annual fee.

Some couples also agree to inform each other when they review screenshots or why. Over time, as trust grows, frequent checking often decreases naturally.

Image-blocking browsers can further support emotional safety online. Tools like Brave or Plucky allow users to block explicit images and advertisements, protecting children and reducing temptation. These tools are especially helpful for people recovering from addiction or seeking a low-stimulation online environment.

Isn’t It a Matter of the Heart? A Word to Men, From a Man

An open device policy may feel intimidating, but secrecy is far more destructive. No man sets out wanting to be trapped by pornography, lust, or shame, yet many struggle with these cycles. Objectification may feel normal, but it is not.

An open policy is not about punishment. It creates space for freedom and healing. While accountability software will not heal lust or stop intrusive thoughts by itself, it provides the structure needed to begin overcoming temptation.

Jesus taught that if something causes you to sin, remove it. Applying this principle to devices is an act of discipline and devotion. Tools like Truple create an opportunity for men to prove faithfulness and integrity, building stronger marriages and healthier families.

Infidelity, whether online or in person, is still infidelity. Repentance requires turning away from sinful behaviors. An open policy can be the first step in proving to your spouse that you are serious about change.

What Now?

Talk with your spouse about this concept. Reflect together on what it could mean for your marriage or family. If you are ready to strengthen trust, begin implementing an open-screen policy.

If you are working to rebuild trust and need support, consider reaching out to a trusted therapist or counselor to guide the process.

Attachment matters—more than you might realize. 🌱 Explore how early emotional bonds with caregivers shape not only a child’s sense of security and self, but also how their brain develops to cope with emotions throughout life. Discover why it’s never too late to create meaningful change, and whether you’re a parent, caregiver, or educator, this post offers insight and hope as a new school year begins.

https://www.stjohnswomenscounselingandtherapy.com/blog/attachment-matters

Forgiveness is a powerful tool in the journey of emotional healing and personal growth. Forgiveness can be both a goal and a pathway towards healing deep-seated wounds, rebuilding relationships, and fostering a sense of inner peace.

Understanding Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the act of letting go of resentment, bitterness, and thoughts of vengeance or retribution towards someone who has wronged you. It's important to note that forgiving does not mean forgetting, nor does it condone or excuse harmful behavior. Rather, forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance towards a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

The Benefits of Forgiveness in Therapy

Forgiveness can lead to profound healing and numerous health benefits. These include:

* Reduced stress and anxiety: Letting go of grudges and bitterness can lead to lower levels of stress and anxiety.
* Health improvements: Forgiveness is linked to better heart health, lower blood pressure, and a stronger immune system.
* Enhanced mental health: It can lead to improvements in depression and overall emotional well-being.
* Improved relationships: Forgiveness can heal rifts and build stronger, healthier relationships.
* Increased happiness and peace of mind: Letting go of negative emotions can lead to greater happiness, contentment, and peace.

Achieving Forgiveness in Therapy

Forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you is no simple task, but it's possible with time, patience, and effort. Below are strategies that may be explored in therapy to cultivate a forgiving heart:

1. Recognizing the Value of Forgiveness

The first step in the process of forgiveness is understanding its value and how holding onto anger and resentment impacts you physically and emotionally. Realizing that forgiveness is more about your well-being than letting the offender off the hook can be a powerful motivator.

2. Reflecting on the Situation

Counseling provides a safe space to fully explore the emotions and circumstances surrounding the need for forgiveness. Through discussion, you may gain insights into the perspective of the other person, and the context in which the hurtful events occurred, helping to create a more nuanced understanding of the situation.

3. Expressing Your Feelings

A crucial step in the forgiveness process is giving voice to your pain and anger. Counselors often encourage clients to express their feelings openly, whether through dialogue, writing letters (not necessarily to be sent), or creative expression. This can be a release, helping to ease the burden of carried emotions.

4. Committing to Forgiveness

Deciding to forgive is a significant step. This decision involves recognizing the benefits of forgiveness, both for your mental health and for the quality of your relationships. It's a commitment to moving forward, focusing on positivity and growth.

5. Developing Empathy

Understanding or empathizing with the person who hurt you can be a profound step towards forgiveness. Counseling can help explore the possibilities of why people behave in hurtful ways, which sometimes makes it easier to forgive.

6. Letting Go

A pivotal moment in the journey of forgiveness is the act of letting go. This means actively choosing to release feelings of resentment and bitterness. It's not an overnight process but a decision that might need to be reaffirmed daily.

7. Fostering Gratitude

Shifting focus from resentment to gratitude can be transformative. Recognizing and appreciating the good in your life, despite past hurts, can pave the way for a more forgiving and positive outlook.

Conclusion

The journey to forgiveness is deeply personal and can be challenging, but the benefits are undeniable. Forgiveness can liberate one from the chains of past hurts and open the doors to a renewed sense of peace and well-being. In counseling, with guidance, patience, and perseverance, forgiveness can be achieved, leading to emotional healing and enriched relationships. Remember, the act of forgiveness is a gift to yourself—a step towards a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

In today’s fast-paced world, anxiety has become a common affliction affecting millions globally. However, for Christians, faith offers a powerful resource in the struggle against anxiety, providing not only spiritual strength but also practical approaches rooted in biblical teachings. This blog explores how integrating Christian faith can help individuals effectively manage and overcome anxiety.

Understanding Anxiety within Christian Beliefs

Anxiety, characterized by excessive worry and fear, can often leave one feeling powerless. Within Christianity, these feelings are addressed with encouraging narratives of hope, trust, and divine support. The Bible does not shy away from discussing fear; instead, it provides multiple reassurances that fear can be overcome through faith. For instance, scriptures like 1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you," provides a comforting reminder of God's enduring presence and care.

Prayer: A Vital Tool for Peace

Prayer is a foundational aspect of the Christian life and a profound way to combat anxiety. It involves both speaking with God and taking time to listen, creating a space for tranquility in a chaotic mind. Through prayer, you can cast your worries upon God, gaining peace in the assurance that you are not alone in your struggles. Practices like daily devotional time help in focusing the mind on God’s promises rather than anxious thoughts.

Meditating on Scripture

The Bible is rich with verses that specifically address worry and anxiety. Regular meditation on these scriptures can help internalize God’s peace. Philippians 4:6-7 advises believers not to be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, to present their requests to God. This passage, along with others, can be a source of great comfort and a practical tool in managing anxiety by refocusing thoughts on God's sovereignty and care.

Community Support in the Church

The Christian church is not just a place of worship but a vibrant community of support. Sharing your struggles with trusted church members can provide you with a support network that understands the power of prayer and communal healing. Furthermore, many churches offer counseling services or support groups dedicated to those battling anxiety, where scripture and prayer are part of the healing process.

Living Out Your Faith

Active faith is a powerful antidote to anxiety. Engaging in church activities, serving others, and being involved in community outreach are ways to put faith into action. Such activities provide a sense of purpose and belonging, reducing feelings of isolation and anxiety. Additionally, seeing one’s faith make a tangible difference in the lives of others can greatly enhance one’s own emotional and spiritual well-being.

The Role of Counseling

There are times when anxiety may need professional intervention, and counseling can be a vital resource. We integrate faith with psychological principles to provide a holistic approach to treatment. We respect the spiritual beliefs of their clients, often incorporating prayer and scripture meditation into their therapeutic practices.

Embracing Patience and Perseverance

Overcoming anxiety is often a gradual process that requires patience and perseverance. As James 1:3-4 teaches, the testing of one’s faith produces perseverance, and perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Steadfastness in faith, continuous prayer, and regular engagement with the Christian community can foster resilience and a deeper spiritual life, gradually diminishing the hold of anxiety.

Conclusion

For Christians, battling anxiety is not just about managing symptoms but also strengthening one’s faith. By leaning into practices such as prayer, scripture meditation, community support, and Christian counseling, believers can find profound relief from anxiety. These practices not only provide practical methods for managing anxiety but also deepen the believer's relationship with God, offering peace that transcends understanding. In embracing their faith, Christians find not only solace in the present but also hope for a future free from the bonds of anxiety.

Letting Go of Control: How Empaths and Healers Can Build a Soul-Aligned Business

Hey there, beautiful soul. If you’re an empath, a healer, or someone who feels the world deeply, running a business can feel like a tug-of-war. You’re told to post every day, be consistent, and follow endless to-do lists, but your sensitive heart? It’s whispering something different. Perhaps you’ve felt drained, as if your business is running you instead of you running it. I get it—I’ve been there.

Tonight, as I sat in the quiet, processing the weight of my own business, I felt tired and heavy, as if I were forcing myself against a wall. But something shifted, and I want to share that shift with you—not because I have it all figured out, but because I know you’re out there, feeling the same pull to align your business with your soul, with God, with something bigger than the hustle. This blog is for you—the empath, the healer, the spiritual entrepreneur—who wants a business that feels like home, not a cage. Let’s talk about how letting go of control can set you free to build a sustainable, soul-aligned business that honours your delicate constitution and deepens your connection to your soul and God.

The Weight of Control in Business

You know that feeling when your to-do list feels like a mountain? Post on Instagram. Write a blog. Network. Sell. Repeat. The rules of business can feel like a machine, demanding you perform, be on, and churn out content like clockwork. As empaths and healers, we’re wired to feel everything—every expectation, every pressure. And when we try to fit into that rigid mould, it’s exhausting. It’s like we’re serving the business instead of letting it serve our purpose.

For me, this hit hard tonight. I was wrestling with my business, feeling like it was controlling me. I’ve carried this pattern my whole life—control from childhood, control in relationships, control in every corner where I thought I had to perform to be enough. Maybe you relate. Maybe you’ve grown up with voices telling you to do more or be better, and now your business feels like another place where you’re trying to prove yourself. But here’s the thing: that control? It’s not you. It’s not your soul. It’s a paradigm we’ve been taught, a collective weight that says business has to look a certain way. And for sensitive souls like us, forcing ourselves into that box can disconnect us from who we are—co-creators, vessels of God’s grace, here to heal and grow. Check out Psychology Today’s take on control for more on how this dynamic shows up in our lives.

Your Body Knows: Listening to Your Sensitivity

As empaths and healers, our bodies are our guides. Your sensitivity isn’t a weakness—it’s your superpower for spiritual growth. When you’re out of alignment, your body tells you. Maybe it’s that knot in your stomach, the exhaustion that hits out of nowhere, or the sadness when you’re disconnected from God’s presence. I felt it tonight—this heaviness, like I was carrying my business like a boulder. My shoulders were tight, my heart was racing, and my soul was like, Hey, this isn’t right. You’re not here to perform for your business—you’re here to grow closer to God, to your soul, to your truth.

If you’re feeling that same heaviness, pause and listen to your body. It’s not lying. Your sensitivity is your vehicle for spiritual growth, and it’s telling you something important. When we ignore it, we risk bypassing our mental and emotional processes, and that disconnect? It makes us feel far from home. For me, being out of God’s presence feels like I’m not myself—like I’m living for what others expect instead of what’s true. It’s heartbreaking, and I know you’ve felt it too.

Why Control Feels So Familiar

Control is sneaky because it’s so familiar. For me, it’s rooted in childhood trauma—growing up with parents who controlled so much, I learned to grip life tightly just to feel safe. I’ve carried that into relationships, business, everything. Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve been controlled by others or felt the need to control every detail to prove your worth. But here’s the truth: control is an illusion, and it’s draining us. When we let our business control us—or when we try to control every detail of it—we’re not free. We’re not sovereign. We’re not living from the power of our souls.

Tonight, I asked myself, If I’m not controlled, who am I? That question was scary because control has been my default for so long. But as I did my somatic work—breathing into the tension, feeling the fear—I realized I don’t have to perform for my business. I just need to connect to my soul and trust God’s promises. That shift felt like unclenching a fist, like I could breathe again. You can find that freedom too. It’s not about throwing out all structure—some control is human and necessary—but about letting go of the need to force things. Harvard Health has great insights on how letting go of control can reduce stress and boost mental health.

The Shift: From Force to Power

Here’s where it gets exciting. There’s a difference between force and power, and as empaths and healers, we’re wired to live from power—authentic, soul-deep power that comes from aligning with our truth and God’s promises. Force is when we grind, push through resistance, or follow business rules just because. Power? That’s when we surrender, connect to our souls, and let our businesses reflect our spiritual growth.

Tonight, I leaned into my somatic work—feeling where I was holding control like a vice. I breathed through it, asked God to guide me, and realized my business doesn’t have to control me. It’s not my boss. It’s a mirror—a reflection of my wounds, yes, but also of my sovereignty, my creativity, my connection to something bigger. When I let go of that need to perform, I felt lighter. My business and I were in the same room, not fighting for power, but coexisting in peace.

You can do this too. If you’re feeling drained, ask yourself: Is my business controlling me? Am I trying to control it? Then feel into your body. Where’s the tension? That’s where the work begins. It’s not about ditching your to-do list—strategy matters! But it’s about leading with your soul, not your shoulds.

A Soul-Aligned Business: What It Looks Like

So, what does a soul-aligned business look like for empaths and healers? It’s not about abandoning consistency or never posting again. It’s about showing up from a place of truth, where your actions flow from your connection to God and your soul, not from a need to prove yourself. Here’s how you can start:

Listen to Your Body First
Your sensitivity is your guide. If you’re exhausted or forcing content, pause. Check in with your body—maybe through breathwork, a walk, or just sitting still. Ask: What’s my soul needing right now? This isn’t bypassing strategy; it’s grounding it in truth. MindBodyGreen has great tools for tuning into your body’s wisdom.
Surrender the Shoulds
Those voices saying you should post every day or should have a perfect funnel? They’re not your truth. Write down one business rule that feels heavy, like I must be consistent no matter what. Then, pray or journal: God, show me how to release this. Help me trust Your provision. For me, letting go of the need to perform felt like freedom. You don’t owe your business your exhaustion.
Take Aligned Action
When you’re connected to your soul and God’s promises, your actions have a different energy. Writing a blog post, creating a course, or connecting with clients feels genuine, not forced. Tonight, I’m writing this from my soul, not because I had to for my business. You’ll know you’re in power when your work feels like an offering, not an obligation. Forbes shares how authenticity drives connection—perfect for empaths in business.
Honour Your Delicate Constitution
As empaths, we’re wired differently. Our bodies feel everything—the stress of a deadline, the pressure to perform, the disconnect when we’re not in God’s presence. Honouring your sensitivity means permitting yourself to rest, to say no to hustle culture, and to build a business that supports your body, not drains it. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to step back. Say no to a project that feels misaligned. Trust that God’s provision is bigger than any missed opportunity.
The Healing Power of Surrender

Here’s the heart of it: building a soul-aligned business is about surrender—layer by layer, letting go of control and trusting God’s promises. For me, this is still a work in progress. I’m learning to let His love, provision, and grace land in my heart, my body, my intuition. But every time I release that grip, I feel more like myself—more sovereign, more connected, more me.

When we stop idolizing business—stop putting it on a pedestal—we take the pressure off. Our nervous systems relax. Our bodies thank us. We’re not performing; we’re being. And that’s where the magic happens. Your business becomes a vessel for your soul’s growth, a mirror for your healing, and a way to share God’s love with the world. For empaths and healers, this is everything. It’s how we create businesses that are sustainable, supportive, and deeply aligned with who we are.

Your Next Step: Trust the Process

If you’re feeling that heaviness, that control, that disconnect, know this: you don’t have to stay there. You’re not alone in this journey. Start small. Today, take five minutes to check in with your body. Notice where you’re holding tension. Pray, journal, or just breathe: God, help me let go of what’s not mine to carry. Then, take one aligned action—maybe it’s writing a post from your heart, reaching out to a client you love, or simply resting because your body needs it.

Your sensitivity is your strength. Your business is your mirror, not your master. And God’s got you—His promises are real, and He’s providing for you right now, even in the messiness of it all. So, beautiful empath, healer, co-creator, let go of the need to control. Let your business flow from your soul. You’ve got this, and you’re not alone.

Ready to take the next step in building your soul-aligned business? I’d love to support you. Reach out for a one-on-one consultation where we can dive into your unique journey, release those heavy controls, and create a business that feels like home. Contact me here to book your session—let’s co-create something beautiful, aligned, and true to your soul.

As healers and empaths, we dream of growing our businesses, but the idea of “scaling” can feel like climbing a mountain. For so long, I saw it as this huge, heavy project—one that demanded performance and perfection. It stirred old wounds: people-pleasing tendencies, the need to prove myself, and echoes of narcissistic abuse that made me feel I had to pedestalize myself to succeed.

But that’s not what scaling is about. I know you feel it too—you want something deeper, something truer. You want a path that feels like home and is sustainable for your vessel.

The Empath’s Sensitive Body: A Sacred Guide

If you’re a healer or empath, your body is exquisitely sensitive. You feel the world’s energy in your bones—gut issues, skin flare-ups, or that tight knot of fight, flight, fawn, or freeze responses. These aren’t just symptoms; they’re sacred signals, your body’s way of keeping you aligned with your truth.

Our bodies are our medicine. They guide us back to ourselves and to God, whispering when we’re straying from our soul’s path. For empaths with delicate constitutions, these signals are especially loud—gut discomfort, rashes, or that overwhelming urge to shrink or please.

I used to think my body’s reactions were holding me back. But now I see them as divine messengers, urging me to slow down and listen. Your body is doing the same for you, isn’t it?

Scaling Isn’t About Striving

Scaling a business as a healer or empath isn’t about pushing harder. It’s not about chasing metrics, followers, or external validation. It’s about surrendering to God’s will and trusting He’s aligning everything behind the scenes.

For years, I thought scaling meant performing—being the loudest, the best, the most “successful.” But that mindset only triggered my sensitive body, sending my nervous system into overdrive. It wasn’t sustainable, and it didn’t feel like me.

The real work is about deepening your connection to your soul. It’s about letting go of the need to prove your business will “work.” Because here’s the truth: your business isn’t yours—it’s God’s.

Surrendering to God’s Plan

When you surrender your business to God, something shifts. Your body softens, like it’s exhaling a breath it’s held for years. It feels like coming home.

Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up. It means trusting that God is orchestrating the details—the clients, the opportunities, the growth—while you focus on aligning with His grace. As healers, our mission is to be vessels, not controllers.

I used to stress over every step, worrying if I was “doing enough.” But when I let go and trusted God’s timing, my gut stopped churning. My skin cleared. My heart felt lighter.

The Holy Mission of the Healer

This is the holy mission of the healer: to be a vessel for God’s work. We’re here to guide other empaths, creatives, and sensitive souls back to their divine connection. Our businesses are mirrors, reflecting what needs healing in us—what we must reclaim or release to grow closer to God.

For me, that meant facing my people-pleasing patterns. It meant healing the wounds that made me feel I had to perform to be worthy. What’s your business mirroring for you right now?

Your sensitive body is your ally in this. Those gut twinges, those skin flare-ups—they’re not obstacles. They’re guiding you toward what’s true, what’s aligned, what’s sustainable.

Listening to Your Body’s Wisdom

As empaths and healers, our bodies are finely tuned to truth. When we push too hard or stray from God’s path, our sensitive systems react—gut issues flare, skin speaks, or we freeze under pressure. These are invitations to pause and reconnect.

I’ve learned to listen when my body speaks. One day, overwhelmed by a launch, my stomach knotted, and my skin broke out. Instead of pushing through, I prayed, surrendered, and asked God to guide me.

The answer wasn’t a new strategy—it was rest. It was trusting that God’s plan was unfolding without my need to control it. My body relaxed, and the launch flowed effortlessly.

A Sustainable Path for Sensitive Souls

Our delicate constitutions aren’t built for the hustle. The world’s idea of scaling—grind, push, achieve—doesn’t work for us. It burns out our nervous systems, aggravates our gut, and leaves us feeling disconnected.

Scaling authentically means honoring your body’s limits. It means creating space for your soul to breathe, trusting God to handle the rest. This is the only path that’s sustainable for us as healers and empaths.

When we surrender, we stop fighting our sensitivity. We embrace it as our strength, our guide, our medicine. We let God lead, and we follow with open hearts.

Your Business as a Divine Mirror

Your business isn’t just a vehicle for income—it’s a sacred space for growth. It shows you where you’re holding on too tightly, where you’re seeking validation, where you’re afraid to trust. For me, scaling brought up fears of not being enough, rooted in past trauma.

But as I surrendered those fears to God, I found freedom. My business became less about “success” and more about serving as a vessel for His love. It became a mirror for my own healing and a way to guide others.

What’s your business showing you right now? Maybe it’s asking you to release control, to trust more deeply, or to honor your body’s needs. Whatever it is, it’s leading you closer to God.

Coming Home to Yourself and God

When we trust God is working through us, our bodies respond. The wisdom of our sensitive systems shines—our gut calms, our skin clears, our nervous system settles. This is the sign of alignment, of coming home to ourselves and God.

Scaling authentically isn’t about bigger numbers or louder wins. It’s about creating space for your soul, submitting to God’s will, and trusting He’s got this. It’s about being a vessel for His grace, not a performer on a stage.

To my fellow healers and empaths, your sensitive body is your greatest gift. Those gut twinges, those skin signals—they’re guiding you toward truth. Listen to them, surrender to God, and let your business be a holy mission.

Join the Journey

You’re not alone on this path. We’re walking it together, as vessels of grace, helping others find their way home to themselves. Book a free consultation, and we can tune into how your body is guiding you back home to yourself.

Considering Therapy?

Hi! My name is Raishelle, I am a licensed social worker and therapist. I offer traditional and intensive therapy sessions for women, couples & families both in person and virtually. I know that considering your first therapy experience can be a big step, something you may have been contemplating for a while now. For those who have never attended a therapy session, the thought of it can seem overwhelming.

Why is it so Hard to Start Therapy?

You don’t really know what to expect, you are feeling emotionally vulnerable and whoever you meet with is essentially a stranger. Starting out on a new journey is more than intimidating and is often what keeps people from following through with scheduling a first session.

These feelings are totally normal and even expected. Being real and raw can be scary, there are things in your life you may be fearful of talking about. Or maybe you just don’t know where to start, or what to say because life has felt hard, messy and chaotic for too long. A long term commitment to weekly therapy sessions is also a major life change and investment of your very limited and precious time. If you are a busy professional with a family or a full time mom, setting aside an hour every week indefinitely probably feels unattainable. But-there is that nagging feeling, that promise you made to yourself, your spouse or your family….you know you need some extra support right now. You may have also heard from others that therapy can be a very slow process, sometimes taking weeks or months to see any real progress. Traditional therapy that lasts 45-60 minutes can be very limiting to people who feel finally ready to begin their therapeutic journey.

Is There Another Way?

This is where therapy intensives come in, a different way to begin your journey to lasting change. You get to try it out, to test out therapy without having to commit to weeks or months of sessions. You aren’t left wondering after 4-6 sessions if this is even worth your time. Asking yourself if you’re ever going to see things change. With intensive sessions, we get to go further and deeper than the traditional model of therapy allows. Intensive sessions are a more convenient way to begin the journey in therapy. You get to be in control of how much time you initially invest & if more sessions would be worth your while.

Intensives For Trauma, Stress & Burnout

Many women who have been stuck in a place they are unhappy with and who are ready for so much more finally feel like they are on a steady road to progress after their first intensive session. Women who are burnt out, who feel forced to hustle or grind and feel like they have zero time for themselves get to take a more direct route to healing. For a long time, they have engaged in a lifestyle that does not align with their morals, ethics, values, faith or their dreams of what their life should be. These women place everything and everyone above themselves, therapy intensives are a way to prioritize your own well-being and begin to work through the stressors, traumas and life events that have perpetuated cycles of unhealthy functioning.

Intensives For Families & Couples

Families & couples can benefit from intensive sessions in several ways. We see that coordination schedules for weekly therapy can be tricky. Scheduling an intensive session allows for more work to be done in a shorter time span. Often, people can feel like a traditional therapy session leaves a lot unsaid and resentment can build between sessions due to to limitations on time. Intensive sessions allow for deeper processing and for each individual to have the time they need to express their own needs and concerns.

From The First Step to Your First Session

Therapy intensives provide an opportunity for accelerated access to progress. The first contact is usually the hardest, most difficult part. You know you are ready, but there is a laundry list of reasons to put it off just a little longer. You are busy, intimidated, uncertain, fearful of judgment or rejection…I have heard them all! You finally get to put yourself first and start working on those inner conflicts that have kept you from living the life you were called to live. Once you reach out we will schedule a consult in order to explore if intensive sessions are right for you & identify what you would like work on. You will get to share what you really want to address and we will figure out how to make that happen. Next we schedule a pre-intensive meeting in order to set goals for our time together & create a structured plan that outlines time, breaks, modalities used- including somatic practices, Brainspotting, breath work, skills building, spirituality & prayer. We will discuss your strengths, resources & sources of support. We plan for your time to be respected, providing an unhurried opportunity to address your pain & life experiences. Maybe you want to meet for 90 minute sessions bi weekly or two 4 hour sessions over a weekend, there are so many ways to utilize intensive sessions. We will find the best format in order to ensure a good fit for you and your schedule. The freedom you get with intensive sessions is unmatched, you get to decide what works and what doesn’t. My desire is for you to feel empowered by the ability to go as deep as you are ready to…to really talk about & address what has been weighing heavy on you. We are breaking free from traditional models of psychotherapy and stepping into a holistic, whole person & Christ centered therapy model.

During our intensive session we will go at your pace & incorporate any level of faith that feels comfortable for you. We will have the opportunity to meet for a post intensive meeting in order to reflect on the process. If you are ready to break free of cycles that perpetuate pain & suffering, reach out for a free consultation. I am here to answer any questions or concerns you may have and explore if therapy intensive would be the right fit for your first therapy experience. I offer in person intensives in Ventura, California in addition to virtual intensive sessions throughout California, Florida & South Carolina.
Visit https://holisticchristiantherapy.com or call 424-703-3555 for a free consultation

Dear Healer, You Don’t Have to Be Codependent to Your Business: A Path to Healing Trauma and Living Your Truth

Hey there, beautiful soul. If you’re pouring everything into your work or business but feel like you’re stuck, I see you. Maybe you’re tweaking posts to please the algorithm, chasing likes on social media, or waiting for that next client to feel like you’re enough. That weight you’re carrying? It’s real, and it’s heavy—especially if you’re an empath, a creative, or a healer wrestling with narcissistic abuse, complex trauma (CPTSD), borderline personality disorder (BPD), or codependency. Those old patterns might be creeping into your business, making you feel like you’re running in circles, trying to prove your worth. Maybe your body’s screaming too, with gut issues, autoimmune flare-ups, or chronic stress that just won’t quit. I’ve been there, and I’m here to tell you: you don’t have to stay trapped in that cycle. There’s a way to break free, to heal, and to step into the work God’s calling you to do—work that feels aligned, alive, and true to your soul.

The Weight of Trauma in Your Work

You know that sinking feeling when you’re trying so hard to grow your business or share your gifts, but it’s like an invisible force is holding you back? That’s trauma at work—narcissistic abuse, CPTSD, or codependency weaving itself into how you show up. Maybe you’re people-pleasing your clients, overthinking every email, or feeling crushed when a post doesn’t get the response you hoped for. It’s like you’re trying to earn love or approval through your work, just like you might have in toxic relationships from your past.

The American Psychological Association explains that complex trauma, like CPTSD, often comes from prolonged emotional or psychological abuse, leaving deep patterns of shame, self-doubt, and codependency. Those patterns don’t just mess with your personal life—they show up in how you approach your business. You might feel like you’re not enough unless your work “performs” a certain way. Or maybe you’re following all the “rules” of business—posting schedules, hashtags, funnels—but it feels empty, like you’re betraying your own heart.

I get it because I’ve lived it. For years, I carried a father wound from narcissistic abuse, and it showed up in how I ran my psychotherapy practice, True Health Counselling. I was codependent with my business, obsessing over stats and trying to please everyone but myself. It wasn’t just emotional—my body paid the price too, with chronic bowel issues and autoimmune struggles that flared under stress. Maybe you’re feeling that too—your body telling you it’s time to let go of control and align with something deeper.

When Your Body Speaks, Listen

If you’re dealing with gut issues, autoimmune conditions, or constant stress that leaves you drained, your body’s trying to tell you something. Trauma doesn’t just live in your mind—it’s in your nervous system, your muscles, your gut. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, in his book The Body Keeps the Score, explains how trauma gets stored in the body, showing up as physical symptoms when we don’t address it. For empaths, healers, or those with BPD or CPTSD, those symptoms—like chronic pain or digestive issues—are a signal that you’re not aligned.

I’ve been there, battling health challenges while trying to build a business that felt sustainable for my body and soul. I wanted work that nourished me, but I was so caught up in codependency—trying to control outcomes, please clients, or prove my worth—that I was exhausting myself. Those health issues weren’t just physical; they were a mirror of the emotional and spiritual wounds I carried from narcissistic abuse. The turning point came when I leaned into trauma-informed somatic work—deep healing that helped me regulate my nervous system, release the pain stored in my body, and reconnect with my truth.

That’s what I teach in my weekly online program, where we come together to break free from those cycles. It’s about listening to your body, soothing those old wounds, and stepping into alignment with your health, your purpose, and God’s plan for you. You don’t have to keep pushing through pain or chasing strategies that feel inauthentic. Your body’s wisdom is your guide—it’s time to listen.

You Don’t Need to Please the World

Here’s the truth I want you to hold close: you don’t have to be codependent with your business, your social media, or your bank account. You don’t need likes, follows, or sales to prove your worth. The world will tell you to chase validation—to post the “right” way, to follow the “right” rules. But if you’re an empath or a healer, you already know deep down that’s not what your work is about. It’s about sharing your medicine—your unique voice, your story, your gifts—with those who need it most.

I used to think I had to please everyone—clients, followers, even the algorithms. But that was just my old trauma talking, projecting those wounds onto my work. When I let go of that need for external validation, something shifted. I started creating from a place of sovereignty, where my worth came from within—from my connection to God and the truth in my soul. That’s when my business, True Health Counselling, became a reflection of my purpose, not a battleground for old pain.

You can do this too. You don’t have to shrink or prove yourself. Your work isn’t about pleasing the world—it’s about showing up as the healer, creative, or entrepreneur God created you to be. When you let go of trying to control outcomes, you open space for divine alignment. The Government of Canada’s mental health resources remind us that healing trauma is about reclaiming agency. That means trusting that your voice is enough and that the right people—those meant to hear your message—will find you.

The Ripple Effect of Your Healing

Imagine this: you, standing in your truth, sharing your gifts without fear of judgment. You’re not chasing stats or bending over backwards to fit someone else’s mould. You’re creating, serving, and showing up as your true self, aligned with God’s plan. When you do that, you’re not just healing yourself—you’re sending out a ripple effect. The empaths, the codependents, the people with BPD or CPTSD who feel trapped by toxic patterns? They’ll hear your voice and feel seen. They’ll realize they can break free too.

That’s what my work is all about at True Health Counselling. After five years of helping clients heal from narcissistic abuse, codependency, and complex trauma, I’ve seen how this ripple effect works. My practice has generated over a quarter million dollars, but it’s not about the numbers—it’s about the lives touched. It’s about helping you release the personality structures and relationship dynamics that aren’t even you. It’s about guiding you back to your soul, where you can live in true wealth—health, purpose, and alignment with God’s will.

A Path to Healing and Alignment

So, how do you move from feeling stuck to living in alignment with your purpose? It starts with healing the somatic wounds—the trauma stored in your body. In my weekly online program, we dive deep into trauma-informed somatic work. Every week, we meet online to release those old patterns, regulate your nervous system, and reconnect with your truth. This isn’t about pushing harder or following more business rules. It’s about breaking free from codependency, letting go of the need to please, and stepping into sovereignty.

Here’s what that looks like:

Listening to Your Body: We tune into the signals your body’s sending—whether it’s gut issues, chronic stress, or autoimmune symptoms—and learn to soothe them with somatic practices.
Releasing Trauma: Through guided exercises, we help you release the pain stored in your nervous system, allowing you to feel safe and grounded in your own skin.
Aligning with Your Truth: We connect to your unique medicine—your voice, your gifts—and learn to share it without fear or self-doubt.
Trusting God’s Plan: We surrender to the divine orchestration, knowing that the right clients, opportunities, and connections will come when you’re aligned with your purpose.

This work isn’t just about healing your business—it’s about healing you. It’s about living in a way that feels sustainable for your body, your heart, and your soul. When you do that, your work becomes a source of life-giving energy, not a drain. You start attracting the people who need your medicine, and you create a ripple effect of healing that touches others.

You Are Enough

Dear healer, you don’t need to chase validation or prove your worth. You don’t need to be codependent with your work, your social media, or your results. Your medicine—your story, your voice—is enough. When you speak your truth, aligned with God’s will, the people who are meant to hear you will find you. It’s not about the likes or the stats. It’s about the impact, the connection, and the freedom that comes from living your purpose.

I’m here to walk this path with you. In my weekly online program, we’ll do the deep, somatic work to heal those wounds and step into your sovereignty. Together, we’ll break free from the patterns of narcissistic abuse, codependency, and trauma, so you can create a business—and a life—that feels aligned, healthy, and true. This is the medicine you’re here to share, and it’s the medicine you’re here to receive.

Take the Next Step

If you’re ready to let go of the old patterns and step into your truth, I’m here to support you. At True Health Counselling, we’ll work together to heal your body, your nervous system, and your relationship with your work. Visit www.truehealthcounselling.com to book an appointment to learn more about how we can start this journey together. Reach out today—let’s create that ripple effect of healing, guided by God’s divine plan. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Relationships can be a beautiful mirror, reflecting our deepest wounds and greatest growth potential. But when a narcissistic man and a woman with borderline traits come together, the connection often spirals into a storm of intensity, defensiveness, and unmet needs. It’s like a dance where neither partner hears the other’s music. The fights, the resentment, the push-and-pull—it’s exhausting, right? In this post, we’ll dive into healing narcissistic and borderline relationships using somatic healing for relationships and trauma-informed couples therapy, exploring how to break free from volatile cycles and foster connection. This is about understanding where the pain comes from and using trauma-informed relationship healing to create safety and mutual understanding.

The Narcissistic-Borderline Dynamic: A Recipe for Volatility

Picture this: a man with narcissistic traits—let’s call him Alex—craves acknowledgment. He wants to be seen, heard, and validated, like his soul is shouting, “Notice me!” But his words often come out as control, criticism, or anger. Across from him is Mia, a woman with borderline traits, whose emotions are a rollercoaster. Years of gaslighting or trauma have left her defensive, with blurry boundaries, making it hard for her to hear Alex without feeling attacked. This creates a narcissistic borderline relationship dynamic that’s intense and volatile.

When Alex speaks, Mia doesn’t hear his words; she hears a threat. Her defences go up, and she pushes back, feeling like he’s trying to change or control her. This triggers Alex, who escalates into yelling because he feels invisible. The American Psychological Association (APA) describes narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as a need for admiration and lack of empathy, while borderline personality disorder (BPD) involves emotional dysregulation in relationships and fear of abandonment. When these traits collide, it’s like gasoline on a fire—deep resentment and volatile fights erupt.

The Root of Conflict: Unmet Needs and Unhealed Trauma

So, where does this volatile relationship conflict come from? It’s rooted in trauma—unhealed wounds that shape how each partner shows up. For Alex, his need for validation might trace back to childhood, where he felt ignored or unworthy. When Mia doesn’t acknowledge him, it’s like poking that wound, and his anger becomes a maladaptive way to demand attention. For Mia, her defensiveness often stems from feeling unsafe or controlled, perhaps from a childhood of neglect or invalidation. When Alex raises his voice, it triggers her trauma, making her feel like a victim again.

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) notes that BPD is often tied to complex trauma in relationships, like childhood abuse or dismissal of emotions. Similarly, narcissistic traits can develop as a defence against shame or insecurity. In this dance, both partners are reacting from their wounds, not their true selves. The violence—whether emotional, verbal, or physical—happens when these wounds collide. Alex’s anger is about his unmet need to feel valued. Mia’s defensiveness is about her desperate need to feel safe. Healing trauma in relationships starts with understanding these roots.

Somatic Healing: Listening to the Body’s Wisdom

Here’s where somatic healing for relationships comes in. Somatic therapy focuses on the body as a pathway to heal trauma, recognizing that wounds aren’t just in our minds—they’re stored in our nervous systems. When Mia feels Alex’s anger, her body might go into fight-or-flight—heart racing, shoulders tensing. That’s her trauma speaking. Similarly, Alex’s clenched fists or raised voice are his body’s way of signalling unmet needs.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, in his book The Body Keeps the Score (Bessel van der Kolk), explains that trauma lives in the body. For Mia, somatic trauma healing might start with noticing her body’s cues—like a tightening chest when Alex speaks. Through practices like breathwork or body scans, she can regulate her nervous system, creating space to hear Alex without feeling attacked. For Alex, somatic work means noticing the heat in his chest when he feels ignored and choosing to breathe instead of yelling. This shift from reaction to regulation is key to overcoming volatility in relationships.

Breaking the Cycle: Healing Defensiveness and Anger

Healing this narcissistic borderline relationship dynamic requires both partners to do their inner work. Let’s start with Mia. Her defensiveness, while protective, keeps her stuck in a victimhood mindset, blocking connection. Trauma-informed couples therapy, like Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), can help her build emotional regulation in relationships. The Linehan Institute (DBT-LBC) highlights DBT’s focus on mindfulness and distress tolerance, helping Mia pause her defences and listen without feeling engulfed.

For Mia, healing means recognizing Alex’s words aren’t always an attack. Somatic practices, like grounding her feet on the floor or holding an object, can help her stay present and feel safe. This builds her emotional capacity for relationships, allowing her to hear Alex without her trauma taking over.

For Alex, his anger stems from a need to be seen, but yelling pushes Mia away. Trauma-informed relationship healing for him might involve exploring where this need for validation comes from—maybe a childhood where he felt invisible. Somatic work helps him notice physical signs of anger—like a tight jaw—and choose a different response. Instead of lashing out, he can practice self-validation, saying, “I’m enough, even if I’m not heard right now.” Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, outlined by the IFS Institute (IFS Institute), can help Alex connect with his wounded parts and communicate needs.

Building Safety and Connection in Relationships

The magic of somatic healing for relationships occurs when both partners create a sense of safety. For Mia, safety means Alex communicates without aggression. For Alex, being seen means Mia listens without shutting down. Couples can use somatic exercises, such as mirroring each other’s breathing or sitting face-to-face, to notice each other's body language. These practices, rooted in polyvagal theory by Dr. Stephen Porges (Stephen Porges), help regulate the nervous system, fostering co-regulation where both feel safe.

Imagine Mia and Alex sitting together, matching breaths for two minutes. As Mia’s body relaxes, she hears Alex without her defences flaring. As Alex senses Mia’s openness, his need to yell fades. This is how trauma-informed couples therapy rewires conflict into connection.

Practical Steps for Healing Narcissistic and Borderline Dynamics

Here are actionable, somatic trauma healing steps to break the cycle:

Body Awareness for Emotional Regulation

For Mia: Notice your body during conflict—racing heart? Tight shoulders? Use grounding techniques like pressing your feet into the floor. The Trauma Research Foundation (Trauma Research Foundation) offers somatic grounding resources.

For Alex: When anger rises, name the sensation—a knot in your stomach? Take five deep breaths before responding to communicate needs calmly.
Self-Validation and Clear Communication

For Alex: Instead of demanding acknowledgment, self-soothe by journaling or saying, “I’m valid, even if not heard.” Then, express needs like, “I’d love to talk when we’re calm.”

For Mia: Separate your identity from Alex’s words. Remind yourself, “His frustration is about him, not me,” to lower defences and listen.

Couples Somatic Practices

Try shared grounding: hold hands, match breathing for two minutes. This builds safety, as explained by polyvagal expert Deb Dana (Deb Dana).

Use reflective listening: When Alex speaks, Mia repeats back, “I hear you’re feeling unseen,” validating without escalating.

Therapeutic Support

Seek a trauma-informed therapist trained in somatic experiencing for couples via Somatic Experiencing International (SEI). Explore workshops from the Gottman Institute (Gottman) for trust-building and communication skills.

The Path to Healing: A New Dance for Connection

Healing narcissistic and borderline relationships is tough, but possible. It’s about Mia healing her defences and building safety, and Alex validating himself and communicating without anger. Through somatic healing for relationships and trauma-informed couples therapy, they can shift from pain to connection. It’s like learning a new dance, where both partners move in sync, hearing each other’s music. By listening to their bodies, validating their needs, and creating a sense of safety, they transform resentment into understanding and volatility into love.

This journey of healing trauma in relationships isn’t just about resolving fights—it’s about reclaiming your authentic self. Ready to take the first step? Share your thoughts below or explore more somatic trauma healing resources to start your healing journey today.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a woman say,

“I know I’m just being sensitive, but…”
“I probably overreacted, but…”
“I don’t know if I’m just imagining it…”

And every time, my heart aches a little.

Because what I actually hear underneath that is:

“I don’t trust what I feel.”
“I’m afraid my emotions are wrong.”
“I’ve been taught to second-guess my discernment.”

Sound familiar?

If you’ve ever been told you're too sensitive, too emotional, or “reading too much into it,” I want you to pause right here and lean in. Because what you’ve been taught to silence might actually be one of your most powerful gifts.

The Sensitivity That Feels Like a Flaw
Let’s be real: sensitivity has gotten a bad reputation.

Maybe you were the little girl who cried easily…
The teenager who felt everything deeply...
The woman who walks into a room and can immediately sense the tension, the unspoken, the shift in someone’s tone.

And while those parts of you may have been labeled “too much,” what if they’re actually God’s design?

What if your sensitivity wasn’t a flaw to fix, but a signal of spiritual awareness?
What if your tendency to notice, to feel, to “just know” wasn’t anxiety—but discernment that’s been clouded by stress and trauma?

When Trauma Distorts Discernment
Here’s what I’ve seen over and over in my work as a Christian therapist:

Women stop trusting themselves when their nervous system is dysregulated.

Why? Because trauma and anxiety distort clarity.

They make it hard to know:

Is this a warning from the Holy Spirit or just fear?

Am I picking up on something real or just being dramatic?

Is this intuition—or a trauma response?

And because we’ve been told not to trust our feelings, we start to override them.
We overthink.
We over-explain.
We apologize for speaking up.
And slowly… we begin to disconnect from the very voice God put inside of us to guide us.

Discernment Isn’t Drama
Let’s be clear: Discernment isn’t drama.
Sensitivity doesn’t equal instability.
Emotion doesn’t mean weakness.

It means you are alive.
It means you are paying attention.
It means your spirit is trying to communicate with you—even when your mind is tired.

God gave us emotions as messengers. They’re not meant to be dictators, but they are meant to be listened to.

When we slow down, breathe, and listen with intention, our sensitivity becomes a sacred tool.
It becomes a way to hear Him more clearly.
To respond, not react.
To sense the atmosphere around us—and discern what’s from Him and what’s not.

Rebuilding Trust With Yourself
If this is resonating with you, here’s what I want you to know:

You don’t have to numb your emotions to be stable.
You don’t have to silence your discernment to be “spiritual.”
You just need the tools to regulate your nervous system and reconnect with God’s voice in you.

That’s what I help Christian women do—every day.

Through individual counseling and faith-based intensives, I guide women through a healing process that’s Spirit-led and science-supported.
We work together to:

Untangle what’s anxiety vs. what’s truth

Heal past trauma that’s clouding your spiritual senses

Rebuild trust in your body, your mind, and your God-given intuition

Learn how to hear God's voice without fear or confusion

Because once you restore the bridge between your mind and your spirit?
You walk differently.
You trust yourself again.
You move with clarity and peace.

You’re Not Too Much
You were never “too sensitive.”
You were never “too emotional.”
You were never “too much.”

You are discerning.
You are deeply in tune.
And you are ready to heal the parts of you that have been second-guessing for too long.

It’s time to reclaim your voice.
It’s time to reconnect with your peace.
It’s time to trust the woman God created you to be.

Ready to go deeper?
✨ I invite you to explore my Faith-Based Intensives or 1:1 Counseling Sessions—safe, Spirit-filled spaces where we don’t just talk about healing… we experience it.


And if you want a gentle first step?
Download my Faith & Freedom Workbook—a self-paced, Scripture-based guide to renew your mind and break free from anxiety and overwhelm. It includes 7 days of email coaching + 3 free masterclasses to walk you through the process.


You don’t have to silence your sensitivity.
You just have to sanctify it.
Let’s begin that journey—together.

You’ve been told to just pray about it.
To cast your cares on the Lord.
To have more faith.

But if you're honest… you've already done that. You’ve prayed. You’ve journaled. You’ve tried to silence the spiral in your mind with Scripture and worship—but the anxiety still lingers.

And now, you’re wondering…
“Is something wrong with me?”
“Why does my mind still feel like a battlefield?”
“Why do I still feel stuck?”

Let me lovingly tell you: **there is nothing wrong with your faith—**but you may need a new framework.

As a Faith-Based Therapist and someone who’s battled anxiety firsthand, I created the Faith & Freedom Workbook because I saw too many women carrying shame about their struggles, thinking they were “bad Christians” for feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

But the truth is—God designed your mind to heal.
And when we combine biblical truth with neuroscience and therapeutic tools, we begin to see breakthrough that prayer alone (while powerful!) was never meant to carry alone.

What Is the Faith & Freedom Workbook?
The Faith & Freedom Workbook is a guided 30+ page digital resource to help Christian women break free from anxiety, overthinking, and emotional overwhelm.

Inside, you’ll find:

Scripture-based reflections to renew your mind

Simple brain science to understand your anxiety

CBT exercises to shift toxic thought patterns

Journal prompts to hear God’s voice more clearly

A blueprint for building a “daily peace plan” that works

This isn’t just another workbook. It’s a soul-centered experience that meets you where you are—and walks you back to peace, step by step.

What Makes This Different?
When you download the Faith & Freedom Workbook, you're not left to figure it out on your own. You’ll also receive:

7 Days of Email Coaching – Daily encouragement and bite-sized guidance straight to your inbox, helping you process and apply each section of the workbook.

3 Masterclasses (FREE!) – You’ll get immediate access to my exclusive video trainings that break down each phase of the workbook:

Dismantling the Enemy’s Blueprint

Rewiring Your Mind With Truth

Building a Daily Peace Plan That Actually Works

This layered support is designed to help you not just read—but renew. Not just learn—but live free.

Why This Matters
We’re in a spiritual war—but it’s not just on the outside.
It’s in our minds.
The enemy has been working overtime to keep Christian women mentally exhausted, emotionally dysregulated, and spiritually disoriented.

But we’re not called to stay stuck.

We’re called to walk in freedom.
To take every thought captive.
To be transformed by the renewing of our mind.
To live with peace that surpasses understanding.

And sometimes? We need tools and structure to do that.

The Faith & Freedom Workbook was birthed out of obedience to that exact calling—because the world doesn't need more perfectly curated Christian women trying to hold it all together.

The world needs healed, whole, and Holy Spirit-led women who know how to fight back—with wisdom, with strategy, and with truth.

Ready to Rewire Your Mind and Walk in Peace?
If you’re tired of overthinking everything…

If you’re weary from fighting silent battles in your mind…

If you love God but feel like you’ve lost your clarity, confidence, or peace...

The Faith & Freedom Workbook is for you.

This is your invitation to pause, reset, and begin again—with a guide that speaks both to your heart and your nervous system.

You’re not broken. You’re just ready to be rebuilt—with truth.

Let’s begin the healing.

👉 Download the Faith & Freedom Workbook
❤️ Because healing is holy work—and your mind was made for freedom.

Are you feeling lost, confused, or questioning your reality after a relationship with someone who dismissed your feelings or manipulated your sense of self? If you’re in Toronto and suspect you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, you’ve come to the right place. As a specialist in narcissistic abuse recovery in Toronto, I understand the deep emotional toll this type of manipulation takes and how it can leave you doubting your thoughts, feelings, and identity. My goal is to guide you toward clarity, healing, and reclaiming your true self with compassionate, expert support tailored to your unique experience.

What Is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse occurs when someone with narcissistic traits—often a partner, family member, or friend—uses emotional manipulation to control, invalidate, or dominate you. Unlike healthy relationships built on mutual respect, interactions with a narcissistic person can erode your confidence and autonomy over time. If you’re searching for “narcissistic abuse recovery near me” in Toronto, you might recognize some of these patterns in your own life.

Narcissistic abuse feels like a relentless attack on your reality. According to the Cleveland Clinic, narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centred behaviour, lack of empathy, and a need for control. When you’re in a relationship with someone like this, you may experience:

Dismissal of Your Feelings: You share your emotions, but they’re brushed off as “too sensitive” or “overreacting.” Your voice feels silenced.
Gaslighting: They deny your experiences, saying things like, “That never happened,” or “You’re imagining things,” making you question your reality. The National Domestic Violence Hotline describes gaslighting as a tactic to distort your sense of truth.
Invalidation and Criticism: Your thoughts and perspectives are constantly challenged or belittled, leaving you doubting yourself.
Emotional Control: They manipulate arguments to make you feel wrong, twisting situations to align with their narrative.

Over time, these behaviours can chip away at your self-esteem, leaving you feeling confused, powerless, and disconnected from who you are. You might find yourself walking on eggshells, abandoning your needs to avoid conflict or their anger. This is especially true if the narcissistic person uses rage or subtle threats, which can trigger survival responses, particularly in women or anyone facing a power imbalance, such as in relationships involving physical intimidation. If you’re in Toronto and these experiences resonate, know that you’re not alone, and recovery is possible with the right support.

Signs You May Be Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse

Wondering if what you’re going through is narcissistic abuse? Here are some telltale signs to watch for:

Constant Self-Doubt: You second-guess your thoughts, feelings, or intuition because they’re repeatedly dismissed or invalidated.
Cognitive Dissonance: You feel confused about what happened, struggling to reconcile your behaviour with reality. This mental fog is a hallmark of narcissistic abuse, as noted by Psychology Today.
Loss of Identity: You feel like you’ve lost touch with who you are, as your needs and voice have been sidelined to appease them.
Fear of Conflict: You avoid expressing yourself to keep the peace, especially if they react with anger or emotional neglect.
Isolation: They may turn friends or family against you by crafting a charming public persona, leaving you feeling unsupported or misunderstood.

These patterns can leave deep emotional scars, sometimes leading to complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), particularly if the abuse was long-term or involved volatility. If you’re in Toronto and searching for “therapists for narcissistic abuse recovery,” recognizing these signs is the first step toward healing.

Why Choose a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Specialist in Toronto?

Not all therapists are equipped to address the unique challenges of narcissistic abuse. General therapy approaches, like venting or exploring emotions, are valuable but may fall short without specialized knowledge of narcissistic manipulation. A therapist trained in narcissistic abuse recovery understands the nuances—like gaslighting, emotional control, and the erosion of your identity—and can help you navigate the confusion and pain with clarity.

As a narcissistic abuse recovery specialist in Toronto, I offer targeted support that goes beyond traditional therapy. I know the tactics narcissists use to undermine your reality, and I’m here to help you untangle the web of manipulation. My practice is rooted in empathy, validation, and evidence-based techniques to help you rebuild your sense of self. Plus, working with a local Toronto therapist means accessible in-person or virtual sessions that may be covered by insurance providers like Manulife, Desjardins, or Green Shield.

The Path to Recovery: Reclaiming Your Voice and Identity

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey of rediscovery, empowerment, and freedom. Here’s what narcissistic abuse recovery in Toronto looks like with me:

1. Gaining Clarity on What Happened

The first step is understanding the manipulation you’ve experienced. Narcissistic abuse often leaves you with cognitive dissonance—a sense of confusion about what’s real. You may ask yourself, “What just happened to me?” or feel lost in a fog of doubt. As your therapist, I’ll help you sort through the arguments, gaslighting, and invalidation to gain clarity on the patterns of emotional control. We’ll identify how the narcissist dismissed your feelings, denied your reality, or manipulated you into questioning your truth. This process is about seeing the abuse for what it was, not what they convinced you it was.

2. Validating Your Experience

Narcissists train you to seek their validation, often breaking down your self-esteem to make you dependent on their approval. In recovery, we’ll work to validate your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Unlike a narcissist who denies your perspective, I’ll provide a safe space to acknowledge your reality and respect your unique viewpoint. According to the American Psychological Association, validation is critical for rebuilding self-worth after emotional trauma. This step helps you trust your intuition and reclaim your voice.

3. Reclaiming Your True Identity

Narcissistic abuse often erodes your sense of self, as you abandon your needs to appease the narcissist. Over time, this can feel like a loss of identity, leaving you disconnected from who you are. Recovery involves rediscovering and reclaiming your true self. We’ll explore what matters to you—your values, passions, and strengths—and rebuild the parts of you that were suppressed. This process is about breaking free from the narcissist’s control and embracing your autonomy.

4. Healing Survival Responses and Trauma

If the narcissistic abuse involved anger, volatility, or threats, you may have developed survival-based responses to stay safe. For example, you might have learned to agree with the narcissist to avoid conflict, especially if their temper felt threatening. This is common in situations with a power imbalance, such as when a male partner uses intimidation. These survival mechanisms can linger, manifesting as anxiety, hypervigilance, or even C-PTSD.

Recovery may include somatic and nervous system work to regulate these responses. Somatic therapy, as supported by research from the Trauma Research Foundation, helps release stored trauma from the body, fostering a sense of safety and freedom. We’ll work together to rewire those deep-seated survival patterns, helping you feel grounded and empowered.

5. Building Emotional Resilience

Long-term narcissistic abuse can suppress your ability to trust yourself or others. We’ll focus on emotion regulation techniques to help you navigate triggers and rebuild confidence. This might include mindfulness practices, journaling, or relational therapy to foster healthy connections. By the end of our work together, you’ll feel stronger, more self-assured, and ready to move forward without the weight of the past.

Why Local Support in Toronto Matters

Choosing a narcissistic abuse recovery therapist in Toronto offers unique benefits. Local therapy means you can access in-person sessions in the Greater Toronto Area or convenient virtual appointments if you’re in nearby areas like Mississauga, Scarborough, or Etobicoke. Plus, many Toronto-based insurance providers, such as Manulife, Desjardins, or Green Shield, may cover therapy sessions, making recovery more accessible. By working with a local specialist, you’re choosing someone who understands the nuances of your community and can provide personalized, culturally sensitive care.

Who Can Benefit from Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?

This specialized therapy is for anyone in Toronto who:

Feels confused or invalidated after a relationship with a narcissistic partner, parent, or friend.

Struggles with self-doubt, low self-esteem, or a loss of identity due to emotional manipulation.

Experiences anxiety, C-PTSD, or survival-based responses from prolonged abuse.

Wants to work with a therapist who truly understands the complexities of narcissistic abuse.

Whether you’re in downtown Toronto, North York, or the GTA, I’m here to help you heal and reclaim your life.

Take the First Step Toward Healing Today

Narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling powerless, but you don’t have to navigate recovery alone. As a narcissistic abuse recovery specialist in Toronto, I’m committed to helping you gain clarity, validate your experiences, and rebuild your sense of self. Together, we’ll untangle the manipulation, heal the trauma, and empower you to live with confidence and freedom.

If you’re ready to begin your journey, please contact me today to schedule a consultation. Let’s work together to reclaim your voice and identity. You deserve to feel whole again, and I’m here to support you every step of the way. Reach out now to schedule a session and discover how narcissistic abuse recovery in Toronto can transform your life.

Written by Cindy Picht, MA, LPC

Have you noticed?

Loneliness has been slowly boiling. Now it is one of the biggest health issues. Many of us feel painfully alone in a world more connected than ever, through texts, Zoom calls, and endless scrolling.

Our schedules are packed, but our hearts are empty. Technology has made life faster, but not closer or easier. Some platforms now offer AI companions or therapy bots—automated “connections” that mimic relationships but fall short where it matters most. We can not mimic human relationships through technology.

Loneliness isn’t being alone. We can feel lonely amongst people. Loneliness is feeling empty and disconnected from others. A lack of deeper connections leads to a sense of loneliness.

At Light the Way, we deeply believe that we are created for authentic connection, eye contact, laughter and tears, hard conversations that lead to healing, touch, presence, and community.

Yes, I know, relationships are messy. It seems so much easier to keep a distance. But it’s in relationships that we learn to listen, grow, and compromise. In relationships, we can be deeply known and understood, which is one of our most significant needs.

Relationships break barriers and erase stigmas. They are also where we learn about ourselves and become better humans.

A major shift happened in 2020. We were told to stay away from one another for safety’s sake. It took a toll on us emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. We have lost shared routines, spiritual gatherings, coffee shop conversations, and checking in on one another. We’ve lost the place where “everyone knows your name.”

Oh, how we yearn for that.

Many of us forgot how to be together. We got used to the distance. In some cases, it made us more self-protective, and in others, more self-centered. Now, the smallest acts of kindness or vulnerability can feel unfamiliar—or even risky.

But the truth is, we’re still wired for connection. We still long to be noticed, welcomed, and valued. We long to be known. Loneliness doesn’t just feel bad. It is bad.


Research shows that chronic loneliness can:

Increase symptoms of anxiety and depression

Disrupt sleep and weaken immunity

Raise the risk of heart disease


There is hope. We can learn to connect again.

It doesn’t start with big gestures—it starts with noticing who’s around you, and being brave enough to take one small step toward them. Remember what Benjamin Mee said in “We Bought a Zoo -sometimes we only need 20 seconds of courage. That’s all it takes to make eye contact, say hello, or start a conversation.

In Part 2, we’ll talk about more ways to connect. For now, muster up those 20 seconds of courage.

If you want to take steps now and need help, call us at 201-444-8103 ext. #1 to speak with a
counselor who understands loneliness and can help you.


You don’t have to stay isolated. Let’s walk forward together.

"Freedom for the Captive" is a trauma-informed Bible study designed to support individuals and couples navigating sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, or emotional strongholds. Drawing from Isaiah 61 and rooted in the hope of Christ, this study invites participants to explore what true freedom looks like—not just behaviorally, but spiritually and relationally. Perfect for use in clinical settings, support groups, or personal reflection, this resource combines Scripture, guided questions, and practical tools for lasting healing and transformation.

Trapped in Survival and Silence

You know, I spent so much of my life stuck in survival mode, always afraid, always trying to keep the peace around men’s anger and criticism. Growing up, it was like walking on eggshells, scared I’d get screamed at or berated for any little thing, like I could never just be myself. That fear wired my nervous system to fawn and freeze, pushing down my feelings to stay safe. I saw it in my mom, too—she was this radiant light, but she buried so much shame and pain, trying to hold everything together. Her passing from cancer lifted a veil of truth for me. I believe the stress of suppressing those emotions, that toxic positivity we lean into to avoid the hurt, fueled her illness. Her angelic sacrifice showed me the cost of sweeping pain under the rug, and now her light guides me, and our lineage of women, toward healing and sovereignty.

The Body’s Cry for Truth

When we bury emotions to survive narcissistic abuse, it doesn’t just break our hearts—it lives in our bodies. The American Psychological Association says chronic stress from emotional suppression can weaken the immune system, raising risks for inflammation-driven diseases like cancer. The Cleveland Clinic links buried trauma to gut disorders, like irritable bowel syndrome, because our bodies hold that pain. My mom’s cancer was a heartbreaking reminder—her body carried the weight of unspoken shame, the fear of criticism, the control that demanded perfection. Her passing was a divine call to stop dismissing my pain, to stop falling into denial or toxic positivity. It’s not about blaming anyone—it’s about acknowledging the hurt, the intergenerational trauma that’s so common we think it’s just “how it is.” But it’s survival trauma, and it’s real.

Healing Core Wounds in the Nervous System

Healing those core wounds is how we break free. I used to think my worth was tied to keeping others happy, avoiding their anger or judgment. But sitting with my shame, feeling it in my body, I found a way out. Gabor Maté explains in When the Body Says No that trauma, like the fear of criticism or control, gets stuck in the nervous system, showing up as gut issues or chronic fatigue. Through somatic mindfulness—deep breaths, gentle body scans—I noticed where I held that fear: a knot in my gut, tension in my chest. Giving those sensations space helped me release the fawn and freeze responses. My digestion got better, my energy came back, and I felt safer in my own skin. It’s like my body was finally free to just be.

A Woman’s Path to Sovereignty

This is what a woman’s sovereignty looks like: refusing to let shame or control define us. My mom’s sacrifice pointed me to God’s limitless love, my true anchor. Psalm 23:1 says God is our shepherd, and we lack nothing in His care. That truth helped me set boundaries, to stop suppressing my feelings to please others. Her love showed me my worth isn’t in how others see me—it’s in God’s plan for my life, my health, my peace. Acknowledging the pain, not dismissing it, is how we heal—not to be victims, but to become whole.

An Invitation to Heal and Thrive

To every woman stuck in survival, know this: you don’t have to keep burying your pain. Healing shame and stress can free your body—your gut, your immune system, your spirit. My mom’s light inspires me to share this path, to help women release the trauma that’s been swept under the rug. I’ve poured my heart into a space where women can heal, using a complex trauma-informed approach with somatic mindfulness. Through weekly live calls, I guide you step-by-step to let go of fear, shame, and those stuck fawn and freeze responses, helping you feel whole again. Start small—take a deep breath, feel your body, and trust God’s love to guide you. Stay tuned for more on this journey to sovereignty, where your health and spirit can shine, honouring the women before us who lit the way.

In a world that’s always pushing us to perform, to do, to measure up, it’s so easy to lose ourselves. When you add narcissistic abuse—whether from parents, partners, or family—it’s like a wrecking ball to your freedom. You’re told your feelings don’t matter, your ideas aren’t valid, and your autonomy? Forget about it. That kind of abuse strips away your sense of identity, leaving you feeling lost, wondering, Who am I? What do I even want? If you’re a victim of narcissistic abuse, that ache to find your authentic self isn’t just about self-discovery—it’s about healing toxic shame, stopping the self-gaslighting, finding your voice, and kicking the addiction to other people’s approval. It’s about making it your mission to connect with your inner self, embodied, first. Here’s my take: the more lost you feel, the closer you are to realizing you’ve been home all along. Let’s talk about how to come back to your soul, connect with God, unleash your creative expression, and trust the process of your purpose unfolding. #NarcissisticAbuse #TraumaHealing #SelfDiscovery

The Pain of Losing Yourself

Narcissistic abuse does a number on your sense of self. Whether it’s a parent dismissing your emotions or a partner shaming your every move, you’re taught to shrink, to hide, to perform for their approval. I’ve been there, and I’ve seen it in my clients—that constant questioning: Am I enough? What do they think of me? It’s exhausting, and it leaves you disconnected from your own heart. You might not even know what you desire or where you belong. That’s not just emotional—it’s spiritual and physical too. The gut-brain connection shows how chronic stress from abuse can lead to issues like IBS, leaky gut, or even autoimmune disorders. Your body’s carrying the weight of that toxic shame, and it’s time to set it free.

For spiritual businesswomen, this hits extra hard. Your God-given mission is to embody your purpose, but narcissistic abuse leaves you stuck, seeking validation outside yourself. I’ve had to unlearn this need to “measure up” to show up authentically in my work. Healing isn’t just about finding yourself—it’s about coming home to your soul, where God’s light and your creativity can shine.

Healing Toxic Shame and Self-Gaslighting

Narcissistic abuse trains you to doubt your reality. You gaslight yourself, thinking, Maybe I’m too sensitive. Maybe I’m wrong. That toxic shame makes you feel inherently flawed, like your voice doesn’t matter. But here’s the truth: you’re not broken. Your feelings, your ideas, your desires—they’re valid. Healing starts with validating your own voice. Try journaling or speaking your truth out loud, even if it’s just to yourself at first. It’s like telling that inner critic, “I’m allowed to exist.” Resources like Psych Central’s guide to self-validation can help you rebuild that trust in yourself.

Your body feels this shift too. Releasing shame reduces stress, which can ease gut issues or skin flare-ups tied to chronic trauma. I’ve seen clients transform when they stop seeking approval and start listening to their inner selves—it’s like their bodies breathe a sigh of relief. Check out MindBodyGreen’s trauma healing tips for more on this.

Steps to Come Home to Your Soul

You don’t have to stay lost. Healing from narcissistic abuse and CPTSD is a spiritual journey back to your authentic self. Here’s how to start:

Own Your Truth: Acknowledge the abuse—gaslighting, shaming, control. Seeing it clearly breaks its hold. Learn more about narcissistic abuse signs.

Validate Your Voice: Write down your feelings or say them out loud. Your truth matters. Psychology Today’s self-esteem tips can guide you.

Release Approval Addiction: Notice when you’re seeking validation. Pause and ask, What do I want? This shifts you from codependency to self-trust.

Support Your Body: Chronic stress from abuse can cause gut or autoimmune issues. Work with a nutritionist for gut-healing foods or try stress-relief practices like yoga. Healthline’s gut health guide is a great resource.

Seek Healing Support: Trauma-informed therapy like Embodied & Somatic Experiencing can release stored pain. You don’t have to do this alone.

Unleash Creativity: Paint, write, dance—express yourself freely. Your creativity connects you to God and your purpose. Entrepreneur’s tips for creatives can inspire you.

Your Purpose Is Waiting

The more lost you feel, the closer you are to finding your way home. That startling moment when you connect with your inner self—your God-given essence—is like arriving at a place you’ve always belonged. I’ve walked this path, healing from narcissistic abuse and reconnecting with my soul, and I’ve guided clients through it too. Your journey isn’t just about healing—it’s about unleashing your creative expression and trusting life’s process to unfold your purpose.

If you’re feeling lost, alone, or unsure where you fit, start small. Trust one feeling today, express one idea, set one boundary. Your body and soul deserve to thrive. Share your story below or DM me—we’re in this together. Let’s spread awareness about narcissistic abuse, trauma healing, and finding your true self. You’ve got this, and your soul’s ready to shine. #NarcissisticAbuse #CPTSD #SelfDiscovery #TraumaHealing #SpiritualEntrepreneur