Christian Counselor Directory Blog

How is your Communication Quotient? How good is your communication with your staff, coworkers parents, kids and spouse? Answering these following questions may help you determine how you’re doing in leadership and life.

1. Do you own your statements? In other words are you talking about how you feel or perceive the situation rather than stating everything as a fact?

2. Are you making other people responsible for how you think and how you feel? This is frequently called blaming and shaming.

3. Do you believe that other people are responsible FOR you, your feelings or your life?

4. Do you believe that you are responsible FOR other people, their feelings, or their life?

5. Do you know in which ways you are responsible TO other people?

6. Are you good at listening and really good at hearing what other people feel and perceive?

7. Are you getting accountability and feedback about how you come across to other people?

8. How are you at slowing down anger in yourself and others?

9. How might your attachment and entitlement issues be affecting your relationships and communication with others?

10. Are you communicating from one up or one down position to other people thus being intimidated by them or intimidating them?


If you’re having trouble answering these questions, it may mean your CQ is not the best it could be. Reach out and ask for help and feedback from friends, a counselor or a coach. Remember Scriptures admonition: My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry- James 1:19

Attachment matters—more than you might realize. 🌱 Explore how early emotional bonds with caregivers shape not only a child’s sense of security and self, but also how their brain develops to cope with emotions throughout life. Discover why it’s never too late to create meaningful change, and whether you’re a parent, caregiver, or educator, this post offers insight and hope as a new school year begins.

https://www.stjohnswomenscounselingandtherapy.com/blog/attachment-matters

Forgiveness is a powerful tool in the journey of emotional healing and personal growth. Forgiveness can be both a goal and a pathway towards healing deep-seated wounds, rebuilding relationships, and fostering a sense of inner peace.

Understanding Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the act of letting go of resentment, bitterness, and thoughts of vengeance or retribution towards someone who has wronged you. It's important to note that forgiving does not mean forgetting, nor does it condone or excuse harmful behavior. Rather, forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance towards a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

The Benefits of Forgiveness in Therapy

Forgiveness can lead to profound healing and numerous health benefits. These include:

* Reduced stress and anxiety: Letting go of grudges and bitterness can lead to lower levels of stress and anxiety.
* Health improvements: Forgiveness is linked to better heart health, lower blood pressure, and a stronger immune system.
* Enhanced mental health: It can lead to improvements in depression and overall emotional well-being.
* Improved relationships: Forgiveness can heal rifts and build stronger, healthier relationships.
* Increased happiness and peace of mind: Letting go of negative emotions can lead to greater happiness, contentment, and peace.

Achieving Forgiveness in Therapy

Forgiving someone who has deeply hurt you is no simple task, but it's possible with time, patience, and effort. Below are strategies that may be explored in therapy to cultivate a forgiving heart:

1. Recognizing the Value of Forgiveness

The first step in the process of forgiveness is understanding its value and how holding onto anger and resentment impacts you physically and emotionally. Realizing that forgiveness is more about your well-being than letting the offender off the hook can be a powerful motivator.

2. Reflecting on the Situation

Counseling provides a safe space to fully explore the emotions and circumstances surrounding the need for forgiveness. Through discussion, you may gain insights into the perspective of the other person, and the context in which the hurtful events occurred, helping to create a more nuanced understanding of the situation.

3. Expressing Your Feelings

A crucial step in the forgiveness process is giving voice to your pain and anger. Counselors often encourage clients to express their feelings openly, whether through dialogue, writing letters (not necessarily to be sent), or creative expression. This can be a release, helping to ease the burden of carried emotions.

4. Committing to Forgiveness

Deciding to forgive is a significant step. This decision involves recognizing the benefits of forgiveness, both for your mental health and for the quality of your relationships. It's a commitment to moving forward, focusing on positivity and growth.

5. Developing Empathy

Understanding or empathizing with the person who hurt you can be a profound step towards forgiveness. Counseling can help explore the possibilities of why people behave in hurtful ways, which sometimes makes it easier to forgive.

6. Letting Go

A pivotal moment in the journey of forgiveness is the act of letting go. This means actively choosing to release feelings of resentment and bitterness. It's not an overnight process but a decision that might need to be reaffirmed daily.

7. Fostering Gratitude

Shifting focus from resentment to gratitude can be transformative. Recognizing and appreciating the good in your life, despite past hurts, can pave the way for a more forgiving and positive outlook.

Conclusion

The journey to forgiveness is deeply personal and can be challenging, but the benefits are undeniable. Forgiveness can liberate one from the chains of past hurts and open the doors to a renewed sense of peace and well-being. In counseling, with guidance, patience, and perseverance, forgiveness can be achieved, leading to emotional healing and enriched relationships. Remember, the act of forgiveness is a gift to yourself—a step towards a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Hey there, beautiful soul. If you're reading this, you're likely someone who feels the world on a deeper level—a healer, an empath, or a creative with a heart tuned to the subtle energies that flow through everything. You sense those powerful, invisible force fields, the relational threads connecting all beings. It's like you're wired to pick up on the divine hum of the universe. And let me tell you, that's not just special—it's sacred. Your calling as a healer isn't like any other path. It's not about building a business the way the world expects. It's about co-creating with God, trusting in His promises, and letting grace guide your every step. Let's explore what it means to embrace your spiritual healing journey and how you can step fully into this divinely guided work.

Feeling the Energetic Pulse of Healing

You know that feeling when you walk into a room and instantly pick up on the energy? Maybe it's a quiet buzz of peace or a heavy wave of someone's unspoken pain. As an empath, you're in tune with these subtle, powerful force fields that surround everything. It's like you're a receiver for the universe's unspoken language. This sensitivity isn't a burden—it's a gift. It's what allows you to connect deeply with others, to feel their struggles, and to hold space for their healing.

This energetic awareness sets you apart as a healer. You don't just see people; you feel their essence, their soul's quiet whispers. Whether you're a Reiki practitioner, a spiritual coach, or someone who heals through art or words, you know this work comes from a place beyond logic. It's intuitive, visceral, and deeply spiritual. You're not just offering a service—you're channeling something greater, a divine energy that flows through you to touch others. This is the heart of your empathic healing practice, and it's what makes your work so transformative.

The Divine Guidance in Your Healing Work

Unlike traditional entrepreneurs who map out business plans or chase market trends, your path as a healer is different. You don't validate your work with spreadsheets or hustle for the next big idea. Instead, you're co-creating with God, guided by a force that's bigger than you. It's like you're following a sacred blueprint, one that unfolds in divine timing. You feel it, don't you? That quiet nudge, that inner knowing that tells you who to help, when to act, and what to say.

This divine guidance is what makes your work as a divinely guided healer so powerful. You're not just building a practice—you're answering a calling. Every client who crosses your path, every soul you touch, is part of a greater plan. It's as if God has already chosen the people you're meant to help, and your job is to trust that process. When you lean into this, you realize you don't have to force anything. The right people show up at the right time, drawn to your light because it's meant to be. This trust in divine guidance sets your intuitive healing business apart from the hustle-driven world. It's not about competition or metrics—it's about surrender, faith, and letting the universe lead.

Trusting God's Promises as a Healer

Here's the truth you already know deep down: God's got you. As a healer, you're living from a place of grace, held by a promise that you'll always be provided for. Your work isn't about chasing success the way the world defines it. It's about trusting that every step of your journey—every client, every breakthrough, every moment of doubt—is part of a divine plan. God's will for you is to put your healing gifts out into the world, to share them boldly, and to trust that He's leading the way.

This trust can feel daunting, especially when the world tells you to hustle harder or measure your worth in dollars. But you know better. You know that your work is for His glory, not yours. Every time you share your gifts, you're honoring that promise. Whether you're holding space for someone's pain, channeling energy through your hands, or creating art that uplifts souls, you're walking in alignment with God's purpose for you. The clients you work with, the lives you touch—they're all part of His plan, chosen for you in His perfect timing.

This faith in divine provision frees you from the pressure to "make it happen." You don't need to worry about where the next client will come from or how your work will sustain you. God's promise is that He will always provide, and as a healer, you feel that truth in your bones. Your spiritual healing journey isn't built on worldly strategies—it's built on grace, faith, and the certainty that you're exactly where you're meant to be.

Healing Yourself Through Your Work

Here's the beautiful secret of being a healer: as you pour your gifts into the world, you're also healing yourself. Every time you share your story, your energy, or your light, you're weaving your own spiritual healing journey into the fabric of your work. There's something profoundly powerful about being a vessel for healing. It's like God is working through you not just to touch others, but to mend the tender parts of your own heart.

When you hold space for someone's pain, you're also holding space for your own. When you channel divine energy, you're filled with it too. This co-creative process—working hand in hand with God—transforms you as much as it transforms those you help. Your wounds, your struggles, your story—they become the foundation of your healing work. By sharing them authentically, you create a ripple effect of healing that extends far beyond what you can see.

Think about it: every time you step into your role as a healer, you're saying yes to your own growth. You're trusting that God is using your delicate vessel—your empathic heart, your creative spirit—to bring light into the world. And in that process, you're mending yourself. It's a sacred cycle of giving and receiving, of healing and being healed. There's nothing more powerful than that.

Stepping Boldly Into Your Calling

So, how do you fully embrace this divinely guided healer path? It starts with trust—trust in God's plan, trust in your gifts, and trust in the process. You don't need to have it all figured out. You don't need a perfect website, a massive following, or a five-year business plan. What you need is faith that your work is enough because it's divinely ordained.

Start small. Share your gifts in whatever way feels right—maybe it's offering a healing session to a friend, writing about your journey, or creating art that channels your energy. Every step you take is a step toward fulfilling God's will for you. And as you share, you'll notice something amazing: the more you give, the more you receive. The more you trust, the more the universe provides.

Your intuitive healing business doesn't have to look like anyone else's. Maybe you host virtual energy sessions, create guided meditations, or weave healing into your poetry or paintings. Whatever form it takes, know that it's perfect because it's yours. It's the unique expression of your soul, guided by divine hands.

Overcoming Doubts and Fears

Let's be real—walking this path isn't always easy. As empaths and creatives, we feel everything so deeply, including our own doubts and fears. What if no one shows up? What if I'm not good enough? What if I can't make this work? Those thoughts creep in, don't they? But here's the truth: those fears are just part of the journey, and they're no match for the divine plan.

When doubt creeps in, remember this: you were chosen for this work. God didn't pick you by accident. Your empathic heart, your sensitivity to the world's energies, your creative spirit—they're all part of His design. Every time you feel uncertain, lean into that inner knowing. Pray, meditate, or simply sit in stillness and listen for that divine nudge. It’s always there, guiding you back to your purpose.

And when the world feels heavy, when you're overwhelmed by the energies around you, give yourself permission to rest. As a healer, you're a delicate vessel, and that means taking care of yourself is part of the work. Set boundaries, ground yourself, and return to the practices that fill your cup—whether that's time in nature, journaling, or connecting with your spiritual practice.

The Ripple Effect of Your Healing Work

Your work as a healer isn't just about the people you help directly—it's about the ripple effect you create. Every soul you touch, every heart you uplift, sends out waves of healing into the world. It's like dropping a pebble into a pond—the ripples spread far beyond what you can see. And the most beautiful part? As you heal others, you're also healing yourself, and that healing radiates outward, touching lives you may never even meet.

This is the power of your spiritual healing journey. It's not just about you or your clients—it's about contributing to a greater wave of love, light, and transformation. You're part of something bigger, a divine tapestry woven by God's hands. And every time you show up, every time you share your gifts, you're fulfilling His purpose for you.

Living in Alignment with Your Purpose

So, beautiful soul, as you walk this path, know this: you are enough. Your gifts, your sensitivity, your intuitive knowing—they're all exactly what the world needs. Your empathic healing work is a sacred offering, a co-creation with the divine. You don't have to do it alone, and you don't have to do it perfectly. All you need to do is trust, show up, and let God's grace flow through you.

Take a moment right now to breathe deeply and feel that truth. You are a divinely guided healer, chosen to bring light into the world. The clients, the opportunities, the impact—they're all coming in divine timing. Your job is to keep saying yes to this calling, to keep sharing your gifts, and to keep trusting that God will provide.

This is your spiritual healing journey, and it's unlike any other. It's a path of faith, grace, and profound transformation—for you, for those you help, and for the world. So step boldly into it, knowing that you're held, guided, and loved every step of the way.

If you are seeking support with a trauma-informed faith-based therapist and healer for your spiritual and divinely guided journey, feel free to reach out for a free consultation.

In today’s fast-paced world, anxiety has become a common affliction affecting millions globally. However, for Christians, faith offers a powerful resource in the struggle against anxiety, providing not only spiritual strength but also practical approaches rooted in biblical teachings. This blog explores how integrating Christian faith can help individuals effectively manage and overcome anxiety.

Understanding Anxiety within Christian Beliefs

Anxiety, characterized by excessive worry and fear, can often leave one feeling powerless. Within Christianity, these feelings are addressed with encouraging narratives of hope, trust, and divine support. The Bible does not shy away from discussing fear; instead, it provides multiple reassurances that fear can be overcome through faith. For instance, scriptures like 1 Peter 5:7, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you," provides a comforting reminder of God's enduring presence and care.

Prayer: A Vital Tool for Peace

Prayer is a foundational aspect of the Christian life and a profound way to combat anxiety. It involves both speaking with God and taking time to listen, creating a space for tranquility in a chaotic mind. Through prayer, you can cast your worries upon God, gaining peace in the assurance that you are not alone in your struggles. Practices like daily devotional time help in focusing the mind on God’s promises rather than anxious thoughts.

Meditating on Scripture

The Bible is rich with verses that specifically address worry and anxiety. Regular meditation on these scriptures can help internalize God’s peace. Philippians 4:6-7 advises believers not to be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, to present their requests to God. This passage, along with others, can be a source of great comfort and a practical tool in managing anxiety by refocusing thoughts on God's sovereignty and care.

Community Support in the Church

The Christian church is not just a place of worship but a vibrant community of support. Sharing your struggles with trusted church members can provide you with a support network that understands the power of prayer and communal healing. Furthermore, many churches offer counseling services or support groups dedicated to those battling anxiety, where scripture and prayer are part of the healing process.

Living Out Your Faith

Active faith is a powerful antidote to anxiety. Engaging in church activities, serving others, and being involved in community outreach are ways to put faith into action. Such activities provide a sense of purpose and belonging, reducing feelings of isolation and anxiety. Additionally, seeing one’s faith make a tangible difference in the lives of others can greatly enhance one’s own emotional and spiritual well-being.

The Role of Counseling

There are times when anxiety may need professional intervention, and counseling can be a vital resource. We integrate faith with psychological principles to provide a holistic approach to treatment. We respect the spiritual beliefs of their clients, often incorporating prayer and scripture meditation into their therapeutic practices.

Embracing Patience and Perseverance

Overcoming anxiety is often a gradual process that requires patience and perseverance. As James 1:3-4 teaches, the testing of one’s faith produces perseverance, and perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Steadfastness in faith, continuous prayer, and regular engagement with the Christian community can foster resilience and a deeper spiritual life, gradually diminishing the hold of anxiety.

Conclusion

For Christians, battling anxiety is not just about managing symptoms but also strengthening one’s faith. By leaning into practices such as prayer, scripture meditation, community support, and Christian counseling, believers can find profound relief from anxiety. These practices not only provide practical methods for managing anxiety but also deepen the believer's relationship with God, offering peace that transcends understanding. In embracing their faith, Christians find not only solace in the present but also hope for a future free from the bonds of anxiety.

Letting Go of Control: How Empaths and Healers Can Build a Soul-Aligned Business

Hey there, beautiful soul. If you’re an empath, a healer, or someone who feels the world deeply, running a business can feel like a tug-of-war. You’re told to post every day, be consistent, and follow endless to-do lists, but your sensitive heart? It’s whispering something different. Perhaps you’ve felt drained, as if your business is running you instead of you running it. I get it—I’ve been there.

Tonight, as I sat in the quiet, processing the weight of my own business, I felt tired and heavy, as if I were forcing myself against a wall. But something shifted, and I want to share that shift with you—not because I have it all figured out, but because I know you’re out there, feeling the same pull to align your business with your soul, with God, with something bigger than the hustle. This blog is for you—the empath, the healer, the spiritual entrepreneur—who wants a business that feels like home, not a cage. Let’s talk about how letting go of control can set you free to build a sustainable, soul-aligned business that honours your delicate constitution and deepens your connection to your soul and God.

The Weight of Control in Business

You know that feeling when your to-do list feels like a mountain? Post on Instagram. Write a blog. Network. Sell. Repeat. The rules of business can feel like a machine, demanding you perform, be on, and churn out content like clockwork. As empaths and healers, we’re wired to feel everything—every expectation, every pressure. And when we try to fit into that rigid mould, it’s exhausting. It’s like we’re serving the business instead of letting it serve our purpose.

For me, this hit hard tonight. I was wrestling with my business, feeling like it was controlling me. I’ve carried this pattern my whole life—control from childhood, control in relationships, control in every corner where I thought I had to perform to be enough. Maybe you relate. Maybe you’ve grown up with voices telling you to do more or be better, and now your business feels like another place where you’re trying to prove yourself. But here’s the thing: that control? It’s not you. It’s not your soul. It’s a paradigm we’ve been taught, a collective weight that says business has to look a certain way. And for sensitive souls like us, forcing ourselves into that box can disconnect us from who we are—co-creators, vessels of God’s grace, here to heal and grow. Check out Psychology Today’s take on control for more on how this dynamic shows up in our lives.

Your Body Knows: Listening to Your Sensitivity

As empaths and healers, our bodies are our guides. Your sensitivity isn’t a weakness—it’s your superpower for spiritual growth. When you’re out of alignment, your body tells you. Maybe it’s that knot in your stomach, the exhaustion that hits out of nowhere, or the sadness when you’re disconnected from God’s presence. I felt it tonight—this heaviness, like I was carrying my business like a boulder. My shoulders were tight, my heart was racing, and my soul was like, Hey, this isn’t right. You’re not here to perform for your business—you’re here to grow closer to God, to your soul, to your truth.

If you’re feeling that same heaviness, pause and listen to your body. It’s not lying. Your sensitivity is your vehicle for spiritual growth, and it’s telling you something important. When we ignore it, we risk bypassing our mental and emotional processes, and that disconnect? It makes us feel far from home. For me, being out of God’s presence feels like I’m not myself—like I’m living for what others expect instead of what’s true. It’s heartbreaking, and I know you’ve felt it too.

Why Control Feels So Familiar

Control is sneaky because it’s so familiar. For me, it’s rooted in childhood trauma—growing up with parents who controlled so much, I learned to grip life tightly just to feel safe. I’ve carried that into relationships, business, everything. Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve been controlled by others or felt the need to control every detail to prove your worth. But here’s the truth: control is an illusion, and it’s draining us. When we let our business control us—or when we try to control every detail of it—we’re not free. We’re not sovereign. We’re not living from the power of our souls.

Tonight, I asked myself, If I’m not controlled, who am I? That question was scary because control has been my default for so long. But as I did my somatic work—breathing into the tension, feeling the fear—I realized I don’t have to perform for my business. I just need to connect to my soul and trust God’s promises. That shift felt like unclenching a fist, like I could breathe again. You can find that freedom too. It’s not about throwing out all structure—some control is human and necessary—but about letting go of the need to force things. Harvard Health has great insights on how letting go of control can reduce stress and boost mental health.

The Shift: From Force to Power

Here’s where it gets exciting. There’s a difference between force and power, and as empaths and healers, we’re wired to live from power—authentic, soul-deep power that comes from aligning with our truth and God’s promises. Force is when we grind, push through resistance, or follow business rules just because. Power? That’s when we surrender, connect to our souls, and let our businesses reflect our spiritual growth.

Tonight, I leaned into my somatic work—feeling where I was holding control like a vice. I breathed through it, asked God to guide me, and realized my business doesn’t have to control me. It’s not my boss. It’s a mirror—a reflection of my wounds, yes, but also of my sovereignty, my creativity, my connection to something bigger. When I let go of that need to perform, I felt lighter. My business and I were in the same room, not fighting for power, but coexisting in peace.

You can do this too. If you’re feeling drained, ask yourself: Is my business controlling me? Am I trying to control it? Then feel into your body. Where’s the tension? That’s where the work begins. It’s not about ditching your to-do list—strategy matters! But it’s about leading with your soul, not your shoulds.

A Soul-Aligned Business: What It Looks Like

So, what does a soul-aligned business look like for empaths and healers? It’s not about abandoning consistency or never posting again. It’s about showing up from a place of truth, where your actions flow from your connection to God and your soul, not from a need to prove yourself. Here’s how you can start:

Listen to Your Body First
Your sensitivity is your guide. If you’re exhausted or forcing content, pause. Check in with your body—maybe through breathwork, a walk, or just sitting still. Ask: What’s my soul needing right now? This isn’t bypassing strategy; it’s grounding it in truth. MindBodyGreen has great tools for tuning into your body’s wisdom.
Surrender the Shoulds
Those voices saying you should post every day or should have a perfect funnel? They’re not your truth. Write down one business rule that feels heavy, like I must be consistent no matter what. Then, pray or journal: God, show me how to release this. Help me trust Your provision. For me, letting go of the need to perform felt like freedom. You don’t owe your business your exhaustion.
Take Aligned Action
When you’re connected to your soul and God’s promises, your actions have a different energy. Writing a blog post, creating a course, or connecting with clients feels genuine, not forced. Tonight, I’m writing this from my soul, not because I had to for my business. You’ll know you’re in power when your work feels like an offering, not an obligation. Forbes shares how authenticity drives connection—perfect for empaths in business.
Honour Your Delicate Constitution
As empaths, we’re wired differently. Our bodies feel everything—the stress of a deadline, the pressure to perform, the disconnect when we’re not in God’s presence. Honouring your sensitivity means permitting yourself to rest, to say no to hustle culture, and to build a business that supports your body, not drains it. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to step back. Say no to a project that feels misaligned. Trust that God’s provision is bigger than any missed opportunity.
The Healing Power of Surrender

Here’s the heart of it: building a soul-aligned business is about surrender—layer by layer, letting go of control and trusting God’s promises. For me, this is still a work in progress. I’m learning to let His love, provision, and grace land in my heart, my body, my intuition. But every time I release that grip, I feel more like myself—more sovereign, more connected, more me.

When we stop idolizing business—stop putting it on a pedestal—we take the pressure off. Our nervous systems relax. Our bodies thank us. We’re not performing; we’re being. And that’s where the magic happens. Your business becomes a vessel for your soul’s growth, a mirror for your healing, and a way to share God’s love with the world. For empaths and healers, this is everything. It’s how we create businesses that are sustainable, supportive, and deeply aligned with who we are.

Your Next Step: Trust the Process

If you’re feeling that heaviness, that control, that disconnect, know this: you don’t have to stay there. You’re not alone in this journey. Start small. Today, take five minutes to check in with your body. Notice where you’re holding tension. Pray, journal, or just breathe: God, help me let go of what’s not mine to carry. Then, take one aligned action—maybe it’s writing a post from your heart, reaching out to a client you love, or simply resting because your body needs it.

Your sensitivity is your strength. Your business is your mirror, not your master. And God’s got you—His promises are real, and He’s providing for you right now, even in the messiness of it all. So, beautiful empath, healer, co-creator, let go of the need to control. Let your business flow from your soul. You’ve got this, and you’re not alone.

Ready to take the next step in building your soul-aligned business? I’d love to support you. Reach out for a one-on-one consultation where we can dive into your unique journey, release those heavy controls, and create a business that feels like home. Contact me here to book your session—let’s co-create something beautiful, aligned, and true to your soul.

As healers and empaths, we dream of growing our businesses, but the idea of “scaling” can feel like climbing a mountain. For so long, I saw it as this huge, heavy project—one that demanded performance and perfection. It stirred old wounds: people-pleasing tendencies, the need to prove myself, and echoes of narcissistic abuse that made me feel I had to pedestalize myself to succeed.

But that’s not what scaling is about. I know you feel it too—you want something deeper, something truer. You want a path that feels like home and is sustainable for your vessel.

The Empath’s Sensitive Body: A Sacred Guide

If you’re a healer or empath, your body is exquisitely sensitive. You feel the world’s energy in your bones—gut issues, skin flare-ups, or that tight knot of fight, flight, fawn, or freeze responses. These aren’t just symptoms; they’re sacred signals, your body’s way of keeping you aligned with your truth.

Our bodies are our medicine. They guide us back to ourselves and to God, whispering when we’re straying from our soul’s path. For empaths with delicate constitutions, these signals are especially loud—gut discomfort, rashes, or that overwhelming urge to shrink or please.

I used to think my body’s reactions were holding me back. But now I see them as divine messengers, urging me to slow down and listen. Your body is doing the same for you, isn’t it?

Scaling Isn’t About Striving

Scaling a business as a healer or empath isn’t about pushing harder. It’s not about chasing metrics, followers, or external validation. It’s about surrendering to God’s will and trusting He’s aligning everything behind the scenes.

For years, I thought scaling meant performing—being the loudest, the best, the most “successful.” But that mindset only triggered my sensitive body, sending my nervous system into overdrive. It wasn’t sustainable, and it didn’t feel like me.

The real work is about deepening your connection to your soul. It’s about letting go of the need to prove your business will “work.” Because here’s the truth: your business isn’t yours—it’s God’s.

Surrendering to God’s Plan

When you surrender your business to God, something shifts. Your body softens, like it’s exhaling a breath it’s held for years. It feels like coming home.

Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up. It means trusting that God is orchestrating the details—the clients, the opportunities, the growth—while you focus on aligning with His grace. As healers, our mission is to be vessels, not controllers.

I used to stress over every step, worrying if I was “doing enough.” But when I let go and trusted God’s timing, my gut stopped churning. My skin cleared. My heart felt lighter.

The Holy Mission of the Healer

This is the holy mission of the healer: to be a vessel for God’s work. We’re here to guide other empaths, creatives, and sensitive souls back to their divine connection. Our businesses are mirrors, reflecting what needs healing in us—what we must reclaim or release to grow closer to God.

For me, that meant facing my people-pleasing patterns. It meant healing the wounds that made me feel I had to perform to be worthy. What’s your business mirroring for you right now?

Your sensitive body is your ally in this. Those gut twinges, those skin flare-ups—they’re not obstacles. They’re guiding you toward what’s true, what’s aligned, what’s sustainable.

Listening to Your Body’s Wisdom

As empaths and healers, our bodies are finely tuned to truth. When we push too hard or stray from God’s path, our sensitive systems react—gut issues flare, skin speaks, or we freeze under pressure. These are invitations to pause and reconnect.

I’ve learned to listen when my body speaks. One day, overwhelmed by a launch, my stomach knotted, and my skin broke out. Instead of pushing through, I prayed, surrendered, and asked God to guide me.

The answer wasn’t a new strategy—it was rest. It was trusting that God’s plan was unfolding without my need to control it. My body relaxed, and the launch flowed effortlessly.

A Sustainable Path for Sensitive Souls

Our delicate constitutions aren’t built for the hustle. The world’s idea of scaling—grind, push, achieve—doesn’t work for us. It burns out our nervous systems, aggravates our gut, and leaves us feeling disconnected.

Scaling authentically means honoring your body’s limits. It means creating space for your soul to breathe, trusting God to handle the rest. This is the only path that’s sustainable for us as healers and empaths.

When we surrender, we stop fighting our sensitivity. We embrace it as our strength, our guide, our medicine. We let God lead, and we follow with open hearts.

Your Business as a Divine Mirror

Your business isn’t just a vehicle for income—it’s a sacred space for growth. It shows you where you’re holding on too tightly, where you’re seeking validation, where you’re afraid to trust. For me, scaling brought up fears of not being enough, rooted in past trauma.

But as I surrendered those fears to God, I found freedom. My business became less about “success” and more about serving as a vessel for His love. It became a mirror for my own healing and a way to guide others.

What’s your business showing you right now? Maybe it’s asking you to release control, to trust more deeply, or to honor your body’s needs. Whatever it is, it’s leading you closer to God.

Coming Home to Yourself and God

When we trust God is working through us, our bodies respond. The wisdom of our sensitive systems shines—our gut calms, our skin clears, our nervous system settles. This is the sign of alignment, of coming home to ourselves and God.

Scaling authentically isn’t about bigger numbers or louder wins. It’s about creating space for your soul, submitting to God’s will, and trusting He’s got this. It’s about being a vessel for His grace, not a performer on a stage.

To my fellow healers and empaths, your sensitive body is your greatest gift. Those gut twinges, those skin signals—they’re guiding you toward truth. Listen to them, surrender to God, and let your business be a holy mission.

Join the Journey

You’re not alone on this path. We’re walking it together, as vessels of grace, helping others find their way home to themselves. Book a free consultation, and we can tune into how your body is guiding you back home to yourself.

Considering Therapy?

Hi! My name is Raishelle, I am a licensed social worker and therapist. I offer traditional and intensive therapy sessions for women, couples & families both in person and virtually. I know that considering your first therapy experience can be a big step, something you may have been contemplating for a while now. For those who have never attended a therapy session, the thought of it can seem overwhelming.

Why is it so Hard to Start Therapy?

You don’t really know what to expect, you are feeling emotionally vulnerable and whoever you meet with is essentially a stranger. Starting out on a new journey is more than intimidating and is often what keeps people from following through with scheduling a first session.

These feelings are totally normal and even expected. Being real and raw can be scary, there are things in your life you may be fearful of talking about. Or maybe you just don’t know where to start, or what to say because life has felt hard, messy and chaotic for too long. A long term commitment to weekly therapy sessions is also a major life change and investment of your very limited and precious time. If you are a busy professional with a family or a full time mom, setting aside an hour every week indefinitely probably feels unattainable. But-there is that nagging feeling, that promise you made to yourself, your spouse or your family….you know you need some extra support right now. You may have also heard from others that therapy can be a very slow process, sometimes taking weeks or months to see any real progress. Traditional therapy that lasts 45-60 minutes can be very limiting to people who feel finally ready to begin their therapeutic journey.

Is There Another Way?

This is where therapy intensives come in, a different way to begin your journey to lasting change. You get to try it out, to test out therapy without having to commit to weeks or months of sessions. You aren’t left wondering after 4-6 sessions if this is even worth your time. Asking yourself if you’re ever going to see things change. With intensive sessions, we get to go further and deeper than the traditional model of therapy allows. Intensive sessions are a more convenient way to begin the journey in therapy. You get to be in control of how much time you initially invest & if more sessions would be worth your while.

Intensives For Trauma, Stress & Burnout

Many women who have been stuck in a place they are unhappy with and who are ready for so much more finally feel like they are on a steady road to progress after their first intensive session. Women who are burnt out, who feel forced to hustle or grind and feel like they have zero time for themselves get to take a more direct route to healing. For a long time, they have engaged in a lifestyle that does not align with their morals, ethics, values, faith or their dreams of what their life should be. These women place everything and everyone above themselves, therapy intensives are a way to prioritize your own well-being and begin to work through the stressors, traumas and life events that have perpetuated cycles of unhealthy functioning.

Intensives For Families & Couples

Families & couples can benefit from intensive sessions in several ways. We see that coordination schedules for weekly therapy can be tricky. Scheduling an intensive session allows for more work to be done in a shorter time span. Often, people can feel like a traditional therapy session leaves a lot unsaid and resentment can build between sessions due to to limitations on time. Intensive sessions allow for deeper processing and for each individual to have the time they need to express their own needs and concerns.

From The First Step to Your First Session

Therapy intensives provide an opportunity for accelerated access to progress. The first contact is usually the hardest, most difficult part. You know you are ready, but there is a laundry list of reasons to put it off just a little longer. You are busy, intimidated, uncertain, fearful of judgment or rejection…I have heard them all! You finally get to put yourself first and start working on those inner conflicts that have kept you from living the life you were called to live. Once you reach out we will schedule a consult in order to explore if intensive sessions are right for you & identify what you would like work on. You will get to share what you really want to address and we will figure out how to make that happen. Next we schedule a pre-intensive meeting in order to set goals for our time together & create a structured plan that outlines time, breaks, modalities used- including somatic practices, Brainspotting, breath work, skills building, spirituality & prayer. We will discuss your strengths, resources & sources of support. We plan for your time to be respected, providing an unhurried opportunity to address your pain & life experiences. Maybe you want to meet for 90 minute sessions bi weekly or two 4 hour sessions over a weekend, there are so many ways to utilize intensive sessions. We will find the best format in order to ensure a good fit for you and your schedule. The freedom you get with intensive sessions is unmatched, you get to decide what works and what doesn’t. My desire is for you to feel empowered by the ability to go as deep as you are ready to…to really talk about & address what has been weighing heavy on you. We are breaking free from traditional models of psychotherapy and stepping into a holistic, whole person & Christ centered therapy model.

During our intensive session we will go at your pace & incorporate any level of faith that feels comfortable for you. We will have the opportunity to meet for a post intensive meeting in order to reflect on the process. If you are ready to break free of cycles that perpetuate pain & suffering, reach out for a free consultation. I am here to answer any questions or concerns you may have and explore if therapy intensive would be the right fit for your first therapy experience. I offer in person intensives in Ventura, California in addition to virtual intensive sessions throughout California, Florida & South Carolina.
Visit https://holisticchristiantherapy.com or call 424-703-3555 for a free consultation

Dear Healer, You Don’t Have to Be Codependent to Your Business: A Path to Healing Trauma and Living Your Truth

Hey there, beautiful soul. If you’re pouring everything into your work or business but feel like you’re stuck, I see you. Maybe you’re tweaking posts to please the algorithm, chasing likes on social media, or waiting for that next client to feel like you’re enough. That weight you’re carrying? It’s real, and it’s heavy—especially if you’re an empath, a creative, or a healer wrestling with narcissistic abuse, complex trauma (CPTSD), borderline personality disorder (BPD), or codependency. Those old patterns might be creeping into your business, making you feel like you’re running in circles, trying to prove your worth. Maybe your body’s screaming too, with gut issues, autoimmune flare-ups, or chronic stress that just won’t quit. I’ve been there, and I’m here to tell you: you don’t have to stay trapped in that cycle. There’s a way to break free, to heal, and to step into the work God’s calling you to do—work that feels aligned, alive, and true to your soul.

The Weight of Trauma in Your Work

You know that sinking feeling when you’re trying so hard to grow your business or share your gifts, but it’s like an invisible force is holding you back? That’s trauma at work—narcissistic abuse, CPTSD, or codependency weaving itself into how you show up. Maybe you’re people-pleasing your clients, overthinking every email, or feeling crushed when a post doesn’t get the response you hoped for. It’s like you’re trying to earn love or approval through your work, just like you might have in toxic relationships from your past.

The American Psychological Association explains that complex trauma, like CPTSD, often comes from prolonged emotional or psychological abuse, leaving deep patterns of shame, self-doubt, and codependency. Those patterns don’t just mess with your personal life—they show up in how you approach your business. You might feel like you’re not enough unless your work “performs” a certain way. Or maybe you’re following all the “rules” of business—posting schedules, hashtags, funnels—but it feels empty, like you’re betraying your own heart.

I get it because I’ve lived it. For years, I carried a father wound from narcissistic abuse, and it showed up in how I ran my psychotherapy practice, True Health Counselling. I was codependent with my business, obsessing over stats and trying to please everyone but myself. It wasn’t just emotional—my body paid the price too, with chronic bowel issues and autoimmune struggles that flared under stress. Maybe you’re feeling that too—your body telling you it’s time to let go of control and align with something deeper.

When Your Body Speaks, Listen

If you’re dealing with gut issues, autoimmune conditions, or constant stress that leaves you drained, your body’s trying to tell you something. Trauma doesn’t just live in your mind—it’s in your nervous system, your muscles, your gut. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, in his book The Body Keeps the Score, explains how trauma gets stored in the body, showing up as physical symptoms when we don’t address it. For empaths, healers, or those with BPD or CPTSD, those symptoms—like chronic pain or digestive issues—are a signal that you’re not aligned.

I’ve been there, battling health challenges while trying to build a business that felt sustainable for my body and soul. I wanted work that nourished me, but I was so caught up in codependency—trying to control outcomes, please clients, or prove my worth—that I was exhausting myself. Those health issues weren’t just physical; they were a mirror of the emotional and spiritual wounds I carried from narcissistic abuse. The turning point came when I leaned into trauma-informed somatic work—deep healing that helped me regulate my nervous system, release the pain stored in my body, and reconnect with my truth.

That’s what I teach in my weekly online program, where we come together to break free from those cycles. It’s about listening to your body, soothing those old wounds, and stepping into alignment with your health, your purpose, and God’s plan for you. You don’t have to keep pushing through pain or chasing strategies that feel inauthentic. Your body’s wisdom is your guide—it’s time to listen.

You Don’t Need to Please the World

Here’s the truth I want you to hold close: you don’t have to be codependent with your business, your social media, or your bank account. You don’t need likes, follows, or sales to prove your worth. The world will tell you to chase validation—to post the “right” way, to follow the “right” rules. But if you’re an empath or a healer, you already know deep down that’s not what your work is about. It’s about sharing your medicine—your unique voice, your story, your gifts—with those who need it most.

I used to think I had to please everyone—clients, followers, even the algorithms. But that was just my old trauma talking, projecting those wounds onto my work. When I let go of that need for external validation, something shifted. I started creating from a place of sovereignty, where my worth came from within—from my connection to God and the truth in my soul. That’s when my business, True Health Counselling, became a reflection of my purpose, not a battleground for old pain.

You can do this too. You don’t have to shrink or prove yourself. Your work isn’t about pleasing the world—it’s about showing up as the healer, creative, or entrepreneur God created you to be. When you let go of trying to control outcomes, you open space for divine alignment. The Government of Canada’s mental health resources remind us that healing trauma is about reclaiming agency. That means trusting that your voice is enough and that the right people—those meant to hear your message—will find you.

The Ripple Effect of Your Healing

Imagine this: you, standing in your truth, sharing your gifts without fear of judgment. You’re not chasing stats or bending over backwards to fit someone else’s mould. You’re creating, serving, and showing up as your true self, aligned with God’s plan. When you do that, you’re not just healing yourself—you’re sending out a ripple effect. The empaths, the codependents, the people with BPD or CPTSD who feel trapped by toxic patterns? They’ll hear your voice and feel seen. They’ll realize they can break free too.

That’s what my work is all about at True Health Counselling. After five years of helping clients heal from narcissistic abuse, codependency, and complex trauma, I’ve seen how this ripple effect works. My practice has generated over a quarter million dollars, but it’s not about the numbers—it’s about the lives touched. It’s about helping you release the personality structures and relationship dynamics that aren’t even you. It’s about guiding you back to your soul, where you can live in true wealth—health, purpose, and alignment with God’s will.

A Path to Healing and Alignment

So, how do you move from feeling stuck to living in alignment with your purpose? It starts with healing the somatic wounds—the trauma stored in your body. In my weekly online program, we dive deep into trauma-informed somatic work. Every week, we meet online to release those old patterns, regulate your nervous system, and reconnect with your truth. This isn’t about pushing harder or following more business rules. It’s about breaking free from codependency, letting go of the need to please, and stepping into sovereignty.

Here’s what that looks like:

Listening to Your Body: We tune into the signals your body’s sending—whether it’s gut issues, chronic stress, or autoimmune symptoms—and learn to soothe them with somatic practices.
Releasing Trauma: Through guided exercises, we help you release the pain stored in your nervous system, allowing you to feel safe and grounded in your own skin.
Aligning with Your Truth: We connect to your unique medicine—your voice, your gifts—and learn to share it without fear or self-doubt.
Trusting God’s Plan: We surrender to the divine orchestration, knowing that the right clients, opportunities, and connections will come when you’re aligned with your purpose.

This work isn’t just about healing your business—it’s about healing you. It’s about living in a way that feels sustainable for your body, your heart, and your soul. When you do that, your work becomes a source of life-giving energy, not a drain. You start attracting the people who need your medicine, and you create a ripple effect of healing that touches others.

You Are Enough

Dear healer, you don’t need to chase validation or prove your worth. You don’t need to be codependent with your work, your social media, or your results. Your medicine—your story, your voice—is enough. When you speak your truth, aligned with God’s will, the people who are meant to hear you will find you. It’s not about the likes or the stats. It’s about the impact, the connection, and the freedom that comes from living your purpose.

I’m here to walk this path with you. In my weekly online program, we’ll do the deep, somatic work to heal those wounds and step into your sovereignty. Together, we’ll break free from the patterns of narcissistic abuse, codependency, and trauma, so you can create a business—and a life—that feels aligned, healthy, and true. This is the medicine you’re here to share, and it’s the medicine you’re here to receive.

Take the Next Step

If you’re ready to let go of the old patterns and step into your truth, I’m here to support you. At True Health Counselling, we’ll work together to heal your body, your nervous system, and your relationship with your work. Visit www.truehealthcounselling.com to book an appointment to learn more about how we can start this journey together. Reach out today—let’s create that ripple effect of healing, guided by God’s divine plan. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Relationships can be a beautiful mirror, reflecting our deepest wounds and greatest growth potential. But when a narcissistic man and a woman with borderline traits come together, the connection often spirals into a storm of intensity, defensiveness, and unmet needs. It’s like a dance where neither partner hears the other’s music. The fights, the resentment, the push-and-pull—it’s exhausting, right? In this post, we’ll dive into healing narcissistic and borderline relationships using somatic healing for relationships and trauma-informed couples therapy, exploring how to break free from volatile cycles and foster connection. This is about understanding where the pain comes from and using trauma-informed relationship healing to create safety and mutual understanding.

The Narcissistic-Borderline Dynamic: A Recipe for Volatility

Picture this: a man with narcissistic traits—let’s call him Alex—craves acknowledgment. He wants to be seen, heard, and validated, like his soul is shouting, “Notice me!” But his words often come out as control, criticism, or anger. Across from him is Mia, a woman with borderline traits, whose emotions are a rollercoaster. Years of gaslighting or trauma have left her defensive, with blurry boundaries, making it hard for her to hear Alex without feeling attacked. This creates a narcissistic borderline relationship dynamic that’s intense and volatile.

When Alex speaks, Mia doesn’t hear his words; she hears a threat. Her defences go up, and she pushes back, feeling like he’s trying to change or control her. This triggers Alex, who escalates into yelling because he feels invisible. The American Psychological Association (APA) describes narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) as a need for admiration and lack of empathy, while borderline personality disorder (BPD) involves emotional dysregulation in relationships and fear of abandonment. When these traits collide, it’s like gasoline on a fire—deep resentment and volatile fights erupt.

The Root of Conflict: Unmet Needs and Unhealed Trauma

So, where does this volatile relationship conflict come from? It’s rooted in trauma—unhealed wounds that shape how each partner shows up. For Alex, his need for validation might trace back to childhood, where he felt ignored or unworthy. When Mia doesn’t acknowledge him, it’s like poking that wound, and his anger becomes a maladaptive way to demand attention. For Mia, her defensiveness often stems from feeling unsafe or controlled, perhaps from a childhood of neglect or invalidation. When Alex raises his voice, it triggers her trauma, making her feel like a victim again.

The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) notes that BPD is often tied to complex trauma in relationships, like childhood abuse or dismissal of emotions. Similarly, narcissistic traits can develop as a defence against shame or insecurity. In this dance, both partners are reacting from their wounds, not their true selves. The violence—whether emotional, verbal, or physical—happens when these wounds collide. Alex’s anger is about his unmet need to feel valued. Mia’s defensiveness is about her desperate need to feel safe. Healing trauma in relationships starts with understanding these roots.

Somatic Healing: Listening to the Body’s Wisdom

Here’s where somatic healing for relationships comes in. Somatic therapy focuses on the body as a pathway to heal trauma, recognizing that wounds aren’t just in our minds—they’re stored in our nervous systems. When Mia feels Alex’s anger, her body might go into fight-or-flight—heart racing, shoulders tensing. That’s her trauma speaking. Similarly, Alex’s clenched fists or raised voice are his body’s way of signalling unmet needs.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, in his book The Body Keeps the Score (Bessel van der Kolk), explains that trauma lives in the body. For Mia, somatic trauma healing might start with noticing her body’s cues—like a tightening chest when Alex speaks. Through practices like breathwork or body scans, she can regulate her nervous system, creating space to hear Alex without feeling attacked. For Alex, somatic work means noticing the heat in his chest when he feels ignored and choosing to breathe instead of yelling. This shift from reaction to regulation is key to overcoming volatility in relationships.

Breaking the Cycle: Healing Defensiveness and Anger

Healing this narcissistic borderline relationship dynamic requires both partners to do their inner work. Let’s start with Mia. Her defensiveness, while protective, keeps her stuck in a victimhood mindset, blocking connection. Trauma-informed couples therapy, like Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), can help her build emotional regulation in relationships. The Linehan Institute (DBT-LBC) highlights DBT’s focus on mindfulness and distress tolerance, helping Mia pause her defences and listen without feeling engulfed.

For Mia, healing means recognizing Alex’s words aren’t always an attack. Somatic practices, like grounding her feet on the floor or holding an object, can help her stay present and feel safe. This builds her emotional capacity for relationships, allowing her to hear Alex without her trauma taking over.

For Alex, his anger stems from a need to be seen, but yelling pushes Mia away. Trauma-informed relationship healing for him might involve exploring where this need for validation comes from—maybe a childhood where he felt invisible. Somatic work helps him notice physical signs of anger—like a tight jaw—and choose a different response. Instead of lashing out, he can practice self-validation, saying, “I’m enough, even if I’m not heard right now.” Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, outlined by the IFS Institute (IFS Institute), can help Alex connect with his wounded parts and communicate needs.

Building Safety and Connection in Relationships

The magic of somatic healing for relationships occurs when both partners create a sense of safety. For Mia, safety means Alex communicates without aggression. For Alex, being seen means Mia listens without shutting down. Couples can use somatic exercises, such as mirroring each other’s breathing or sitting face-to-face, to notice each other's body language. These practices, rooted in polyvagal theory by Dr. Stephen Porges (Stephen Porges), help regulate the nervous system, fostering co-regulation where both feel safe.

Imagine Mia and Alex sitting together, matching breaths for two minutes. As Mia’s body relaxes, she hears Alex without her defences flaring. As Alex senses Mia’s openness, his need to yell fades. This is how trauma-informed couples therapy rewires conflict into connection.

Practical Steps for Healing Narcissistic and Borderline Dynamics

Here are actionable, somatic trauma healing steps to break the cycle:

Body Awareness for Emotional Regulation

For Mia: Notice your body during conflict—racing heart? Tight shoulders? Use grounding techniques like pressing your feet into the floor. The Trauma Research Foundation (Trauma Research Foundation) offers somatic grounding resources.

For Alex: When anger rises, name the sensation—a knot in your stomach? Take five deep breaths before responding to communicate needs calmly.
Self-Validation and Clear Communication

For Alex: Instead of demanding acknowledgment, self-soothe by journaling or saying, “I’m valid, even if not heard.” Then, express needs like, “I’d love to talk when we’re calm.”

For Mia: Separate your identity from Alex’s words. Remind yourself, “His frustration is about him, not me,” to lower defences and listen.

Couples Somatic Practices

Try shared grounding: hold hands, match breathing for two minutes. This builds safety, as explained by polyvagal expert Deb Dana (Deb Dana).

Use reflective listening: When Alex speaks, Mia repeats back, “I hear you’re feeling unseen,” validating without escalating.

Therapeutic Support

Seek a trauma-informed therapist trained in somatic experiencing for couples via Somatic Experiencing International (SEI). Explore workshops from the Gottman Institute (Gottman) for trust-building and communication skills.

The Path to Healing: A New Dance for Connection

Healing narcissistic and borderline relationships is tough, but possible. It’s about Mia healing her defences and building safety, and Alex validating himself and communicating without anger. Through somatic healing for relationships and trauma-informed couples therapy, they can shift from pain to connection. It’s like learning a new dance, where both partners move in sync, hearing each other’s music. By listening to their bodies, validating their needs, and creating a sense of safety, they transform resentment into understanding and volatility into love.

This journey of healing trauma in relationships isn’t just about resolving fights—it’s about reclaiming your authentic self. Ready to take the first step? Share your thoughts below or explore more somatic trauma healing resources to start your healing journey today.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a woman say,

“I know I’m just being sensitive, but…”
“I probably overreacted, but…”
“I don’t know if I’m just imagining it…”

And every time, my heart aches a little.

Because what I actually hear underneath that is:

“I don’t trust what I feel.”
“I’m afraid my emotions are wrong.”
“I’ve been taught to second-guess my discernment.”

Sound familiar?

If you’ve ever been told you're too sensitive, too emotional, or “reading too much into it,” I want you to pause right here and lean in. Because what you’ve been taught to silence might actually be one of your most powerful gifts.

The Sensitivity That Feels Like a Flaw
Let’s be real: sensitivity has gotten a bad reputation.

Maybe you were the little girl who cried easily…
The teenager who felt everything deeply...
The woman who walks into a room and can immediately sense the tension, the unspoken, the shift in someone’s tone.

And while those parts of you may have been labeled “too much,” what if they’re actually God’s design?

What if your sensitivity wasn’t a flaw to fix, but a signal of spiritual awareness?
What if your tendency to notice, to feel, to “just know” wasn’t anxiety—but discernment that’s been clouded by stress and trauma?

When Trauma Distorts Discernment
Here’s what I’ve seen over and over in my work as a Christian therapist:

Women stop trusting themselves when their nervous system is dysregulated.

Why? Because trauma and anxiety distort clarity.

They make it hard to know:

Is this a warning from the Holy Spirit or just fear?

Am I picking up on something real or just being dramatic?

Is this intuition—or a trauma response?

And because we’ve been told not to trust our feelings, we start to override them.
We overthink.
We over-explain.
We apologize for speaking up.
And slowly… we begin to disconnect from the very voice God put inside of us to guide us.

Discernment Isn’t Drama
Let’s be clear: Discernment isn’t drama.
Sensitivity doesn’t equal instability.
Emotion doesn’t mean weakness.

It means you are alive.
It means you are paying attention.
It means your spirit is trying to communicate with you—even when your mind is tired.

God gave us emotions as messengers. They’re not meant to be dictators, but they are meant to be listened to.

When we slow down, breathe, and listen with intention, our sensitivity becomes a sacred tool.
It becomes a way to hear Him more clearly.
To respond, not react.
To sense the atmosphere around us—and discern what’s from Him and what’s not.

Rebuilding Trust With Yourself
If this is resonating with you, here’s what I want you to know:

You don’t have to numb your emotions to be stable.
You don’t have to silence your discernment to be “spiritual.”
You just need the tools to regulate your nervous system and reconnect with God’s voice in you.

That’s what I help Christian women do—every day.

Through individual counseling and faith-based intensives, I guide women through a healing process that’s Spirit-led and science-supported.
We work together to:

Untangle what’s anxiety vs. what’s truth

Heal past trauma that’s clouding your spiritual senses

Rebuild trust in your body, your mind, and your God-given intuition

Learn how to hear God's voice without fear or confusion

Because once you restore the bridge between your mind and your spirit?
You walk differently.
You trust yourself again.
You move with clarity and peace.

You’re Not Too Much
You were never “too sensitive.”
You were never “too emotional.”
You were never “too much.”

You are discerning.
You are deeply in tune.
And you are ready to heal the parts of you that have been second-guessing for too long.

It’s time to reclaim your voice.
It’s time to reconnect with your peace.
It’s time to trust the woman God created you to be.

Ready to go deeper?
✨ I invite you to explore my Faith-Based Intensives or 1:1 Counseling Sessions—safe, Spirit-filled spaces where we don’t just talk about healing… we experience it.


And if you want a gentle first step?
Download my Faith & Freedom Workbook—a self-paced, Scripture-based guide to renew your mind and break free from anxiety and overwhelm. It includes 7 days of email coaching + 3 free masterclasses to walk you through the process.


You don’t have to silence your sensitivity.
You just have to sanctify it.
Let’s begin that journey—together.

Are you feeling lost, confused, or questioning your reality after a relationship with someone who dismissed your feelings or manipulated your sense of self? If you’re in Toronto and suspect you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, you’ve come to the right place. As a specialist in narcissistic abuse recovery in Toronto, I understand the deep emotional toll this type of manipulation takes and how it can leave you doubting your thoughts, feelings, and identity. My goal is to guide you toward clarity, healing, and reclaiming your true self with compassionate, expert support tailored to your unique experience.

What Is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse occurs when someone with narcissistic traits—often a partner, family member, or friend—uses emotional manipulation to control, invalidate, or dominate you. Unlike healthy relationships built on mutual respect, interactions with a narcissistic person can erode your confidence and autonomy over time. If you’re searching for “narcissistic abuse recovery near me” in Toronto, you might recognize some of these patterns in your own life.

Narcissistic abuse feels like a relentless attack on your reality. According to the Cleveland Clinic, narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centred behaviour, lack of empathy, and a need for control. When you’re in a relationship with someone like this, you may experience:

Dismissal of Your Feelings: You share your emotions, but they’re brushed off as “too sensitive” or “overreacting.” Your voice feels silenced.
Gaslighting: They deny your experiences, saying things like, “That never happened,” or “You’re imagining things,” making you question your reality. The National Domestic Violence Hotline describes gaslighting as a tactic to distort your sense of truth.
Invalidation and Criticism: Your thoughts and perspectives are constantly challenged or belittled, leaving you doubting yourself.
Emotional Control: They manipulate arguments to make you feel wrong, twisting situations to align with their narrative.

Over time, these behaviours can chip away at your self-esteem, leaving you feeling confused, powerless, and disconnected from who you are. You might find yourself walking on eggshells, abandoning your needs to avoid conflict or their anger. This is especially true if the narcissistic person uses rage or subtle threats, which can trigger survival responses, particularly in women or anyone facing a power imbalance, such as in relationships involving physical intimidation. If you’re in Toronto and these experiences resonate, know that you’re not alone, and recovery is possible with the right support.

Signs You May Be Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse

Wondering if what you’re going through is narcissistic abuse? Here are some telltale signs to watch for:

Constant Self-Doubt: You second-guess your thoughts, feelings, or intuition because they’re repeatedly dismissed or invalidated.
Cognitive Dissonance: You feel confused about what happened, struggling to reconcile your behaviour with reality. This mental fog is a hallmark of narcissistic abuse, as noted by Psychology Today.
Loss of Identity: You feel like you’ve lost touch with who you are, as your needs and voice have been sidelined to appease them.
Fear of Conflict: You avoid expressing yourself to keep the peace, especially if they react with anger or emotional neglect.
Isolation: They may turn friends or family against you by crafting a charming public persona, leaving you feeling unsupported or misunderstood.

These patterns can leave deep emotional scars, sometimes leading to complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), particularly if the abuse was long-term or involved volatility. If you’re in Toronto and searching for “therapists for narcissistic abuse recovery,” recognizing these signs is the first step toward healing.

Why Choose a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Specialist in Toronto?

Not all therapists are equipped to address the unique challenges of narcissistic abuse. General therapy approaches, like venting or exploring emotions, are valuable but may fall short without specialized knowledge of narcissistic manipulation. A therapist trained in narcissistic abuse recovery understands the nuances—like gaslighting, emotional control, and the erosion of your identity—and can help you navigate the confusion and pain with clarity.

As a narcissistic abuse recovery specialist in Toronto, I offer targeted support that goes beyond traditional therapy. I know the tactics narcissists use to undermine your reality, and I’m here to help you untangle the web of manipulation. My practice is rooted in empathy, validation, and evidence-based techniques to help you rebuild your sense of self. Plus, working with a local Toronto therapist means accessible in-person or virtual sessions that may be covered by insurance providers like Manulife, Desjardins, or Green Shield.

The Path to Recovery: Reclaiming Your Voice and Identity

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey of rediscovery, empowerment, and freedom. Here’s what narcissistic abuse recovery in Toronto looks like with me:

1. Gaining Clarity on What Happened

The first step is understanding the manipulation you’ve experienced. Narcissistic abuse often leaves you with cognitive dissonance—a sense of confusion about what’s real. You may ask yourself, “What just happened to me?” or feel lost in a fog of doubt. As your therapist, I’ll help you sort through the arguments, gaslighting, and invalidation to gain clarity on the patterns of emotional control. We’ll identify how the narcissist dismissed your feelings, denied your reality, or manipulated you into questioning your truth. This process is about seeing the abuse for what it was, not what they convinced you it was.

2. Validating Your Experience

Narcissists train you to seek their validation, often breaking down your self-esteem to make you dependent on their approval. In recovery, we’ll work to validate your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Unlike a narcissist who denies your perspective, I’ll provide a safe space to acknowledge your reality and respect your unique viewpoint. According to the American Psychological Association, validation is critical for rebuilding self-worth after emotional trauma. This step helps you trust your intuition and reclaim your voice.

3. Reclaiming Your True Identity

Narcissistic abuse often erodes your sense of self, as you abandon your needs to appease the narcissist. Over time, this can feel like a loss of identity, leaving you disconnected from who you are. Recovery involves rediscovering and reclaiming your true self. We’ll explore what matters to you—your values, passions, and strengths—and rebuild the parts of you that were suppressed. This process is about breaking free from the narcissist’s control and embracing your autonomy.

4. Healing Survival Responses and Trauma

If the narcissistic abuse involved anger, volatility, or threats, you may have developed survival-based responses to stay safe. For example, you might have learned to agree with the narcissist to avoid conflict, especially if their temper felt threatening. This is common in situations with a power imbalance, such as when a male partner uses intimidation. These survival mechanisms can linger, manifesting as anxiety, hypervigilance, or even C-PTSD.

Recovery may include somatic and nervous system work to regulate these responses. Somatic therapy, as supported by research from the Trauma Research Foundation, helps release stored trauma from the body, fostering a sense of safety and freedom. We’ll work together to rewire those deep-seated survival patterns, helping you feel grounded and empowered.

5. Building Emotional Resilience

Long-term narcissistic abuse can suppress your ability to trust yourself or others. We’ll focus on emotion regulation techniques to help you navigate triggers and rebuild confidence. This might include mindfulness practices, journaling, or relational therapy to foster healthy connections. By the end of our work together, you’ll feel stronger, more self-assured, and ready to move forward without the weight of the past.

Why Local Support in Toronto Matters

Choosing a narcissistic abuse recovery therapist in Toronto offers unique benefits. Local therapy means you can access in-person sessions in the Greater Toronto Area or convenient virtual appointments if you’re in nearby areas like Mississauga, Scarborough, or Etobicoke. Plus, many Toronto-based insurance providers, such as Manulife, Desjardins, or Green Shield, may cover therapy sessions, making recovery more accessible. By working with a local specialist, you’re choosing someone who understands the nuances of your community and can provide personalized, culturally sensitive care.

Who Can Benefit from Narcissistic Abuse Recovery?

This specialized therapy is for anyone in Toronto who:

Feels confused or invalidated after a relationship with a narcissistic partner, parent, or friend.

Struggles with self-doubt, low self-esteem, or a loss of identity due to emotional manipulation.

Experiences anxiety, C-PTSD, or survival-based responses from prolonged abuse.

Wants to work with a therapist who truly understands the complexities of narcissistic abuse.

Whether you’re in downtown Toronto, North York, or the GTA, I’m here to help you heal and reclaim your life.

Take the First Step Toward Healing Today

Narcissistic abuse can leave you feeling powerless, but you don’t have to navigate recovery alone. As a narcissistic abuse recovery specialist in Toronto, I’m committed to helping you gain clarity, validate your experiences, and rebuild your sense of self. Together, we’ll untangle the manipulation, heal the trauma, and empower you to live with confidence and freedom.

If you’re ready to begin your journey, please contact me today to schedule a consultation. Let’s work together to reclaim your voice and identity. You deserve to feel whole again, and I’m here to support you every step of the way. Reach out now to schedule a session and discover how narcissistic abuse recovery in Toronto can transform your life.

Written by Cindy Picht, MA, LPC

Have you noticed?

Loneliness has been slowly boiling. Now it is one of the biggest health issues. Many of us feel painfully alone in a world more connected than ever, through texts, Zoom calls, and endless scrolling.

Our schedules are packed, but our hearts are empty. Technology has made life faster, but not closer or easier. Some platforms now offer AI companions or therapy bots—automated “connections” that mimic relationships but fall short where it matters most. We can not mimic human relationships through technology.

Loneliness isn’t being alone. We can feel lonely amongst people. Loneliness is feeling empty and disconnected from others. A lack of deeper connections leads to a sense of loneliness.

At Light the Way, we deeply believe that we are created for authentic connection, eye contact, laughter and tears, hard conversations that lead to healing, touch, presence, and community.

Yes, I know, relationships are messy. It seems so much easier to keep a distance. But it’s in relationships that we learn to listen, grow, and compromise. In relationships, we can be deeply known and understood, which is one of our most significant needs.

Relationships break barriers and erase stigmas. They are also where we learn about ourselves and become better humans.

A major shift happened in 2020. We were told to stay away from one another for safety’s sake. It took a toll on us emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. We have lost shared routines, spiritual gatherings, coffee shop conversations, and checking in on one another. We’ve lost the place where “everyone knows your name.”

Oh, how we yearn for that.

Many of us forgot how to be together. We got used to the distance. In some cases, it made us more self-protective, and in others, more self-centered. Now, the smallest acts of kindness or vulnerability can feel unfamiliar—or even risky.

But the truth is, we’re still wired for connection. We still long to be noticed, welcomed, and valued. We long to be known. Loneliness doesn’t just feel bad. It is bad.


Research shows that chronic loneliness can:

Increase symptoms of anxiety and depression

Disrupt sleep and weaken immunity

Raise the risk of heart disease


There is hope. We can learn to connect again.

It doesn’t start with big gestures—it starts with noticing who’s around you, and being brave enough to take one small step toward them. Remember what Benjamin Mee said in “We Bought a Zoo -sometimes we only need 20 seconds of courage. That’s all it takes to make eye contact, say hello, or start a conversation.

In Part 2, we’ll talk about more ways to connect. For now, muster up those 20 seconds of courage.

If you want to take steps now and need help, call us at 201-444-8103 ext. #1 to speak with a
counselor who understands loneliness and can help you.


You don’t have to stay isolated. Let’s walk forward together.

Trapped in Survival and Silence

You know, I spent so much of my life stuck in survival mode, always afraid, always trying to keep the peace around men’s anger and criticism. Growing up, it was like walking on eggshells, scared I’d get screamed at or berated for any little thing, like I could never just be myself. That fear wired my nervous system to fawn and freeze, pushing down my feelings to stay safe. I saw it in my mom, too—she was this radiant light, but she buried so much shame and pain, trying to hold everything together. Her passing from cancer lifted a veil of truth for me. I believe the stress of suppressing those emotions, that toxic positivity we lean into to avoid the hurt, fueled her illness. Her angelic sacrifice showed me the cost of sweeping pain under the rug, and now her light guides me, and our lineage of women, toward healing and sovereignty.

The Body’s Cry for Truth

When we bury emotions to survive narcissistic abuse, it doesn’t just break our hearts—it lives in our bodies. The American Psychological Association says chronic stress from emotional suppression can weaken the immune system, raising risks for inflammation-driven diseases like cancer. The Cleveland Clinic links buried trauma to gut disorders, like irritable bowel syndrome, because our bodies hold that pain. My mom’s cancer was a heartbreaking reminder—her body carried the weight of unspoken shame, the fear of criticism, the control that demanded perfection. Her passing was a divine call to stop dismissing my pain, to stop falling into denial or toxic positivity. It’s not about blaming anyone—it’s about acknowledging the hurt, the intergenerational trauma that’s so common we think it’s just “how it is.” But it’s survival trauma, and it’s real.

Healing Core Wounds in the Nervous System

Healing those core wounds is how we break free. I used to think my worth was tied to keeping others happy, avoiding their anger or judgment. But sitting with my shame, feeling it in my body, I found a way out. Gabor Maté explains in When the Body Says No that trauma, like the fear of criticism or control, gets stuck in the nervous system, showing up as gut issues or chronic fatigue. Through somatic mindfulness—deep breaths, gentle body scans—I noticed where I held that fear: a knot in my gut, tension in my chest. Giving those sensations space helped me release the fawn and freeze responses. My digestion got better, my energy came back, and I felt safer in my own skin. It’s like my body was finally free to just be.

A Woman’s Path to Sovereignty

This is what a woman’s sovereignty looks like: refusing to let shame or control define us. My mom’s sacrifice pointed me to God’s limitless love, my true anchor. Psalm 23:1 says God is our shepherd, and we lack nothing in His care. That truth helped me set boundaries, to stop suppressing my feelings to please others. Her love showed me my worth isn’t in how others see me—it’s in God’s plan for my life, my health, my peace. Acknowledging the pain, not dismissing it, is how we heal—not to be victims, but to become whole.

An Invitation to Heal and Thrive

To every woman stuck in survival, know this: you don’t have to keep burying your pain. Healing shame and stress can free your body—your gut, your immune system, your spirit. My mom’s light inspires me to share this path, to help women release the trauma that’s been swept under the rug. I’ve poured my heart into a space where women can heal, using a complex trauma-informed approach with somatic mindfulness. Through weekly live calls, I guide you step-by-step to let go of fear, shame, and those stuck fawn and freeze responses, helping you feel whole again. Start small—take a deep breath, feel your body, and trust God’s love to guide you. Stay tuned for more on this journey to sovereignty, where your health and spirit can shine, honouring the women before us who lit the way.

Experiencing trauma can be one of the most profound disruptors of peace and self-compassion in one’s life. It can shatter your sense of security, warp self-perception, and make the world seem an unforgiving place. The journey to healing is often long and winding, but central to this path is the cultivation of compassion—not just for others, but critically, for oneself. This post seeks to guide those who have experienced trauma towards embracing compassion as a vital tool for healing.

The Impact of Trauma on Self-Compassion

Trauma, by its nature, can foster feelings of isolation, helplessness, and a profound sense of unworthiness or self-blame. In the aftermath, individuals may struggle with intrusive thoughts, hyperarousal, and an ongoing sense of danger, making the world appear hostile, and thus, crippling their ability to feel compassion for themselves or others. The self-criticism and guilt that often accompany traumatic experiences act as barriers to self-compassion, further entrenching the trauma.

The Role of Compassion in Healing

Compassion, particularly self-compassion, is crucial in the healing process. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness, concern, and support you would offer a good friend. This gentle and empathetic stance towards oneself can be transformative, enabling individuals to navigate their trauma from a place of understanding and care rather than self-judgment.

1. Recognizing Common Humanity

Trauma can make you feel uniquely broken or isolated. However, understanding that suffering and imperfection are part of the shared human experience can help mitigate these feelings. Recognizing that you are not alone in your struggles fosters a sense of connection and opens the door to compassion.

2. Mindfulness in the Face of Pain

Mindfulness, the practice of being present and fully engaging with the here and now, is essential for self-compassion. It allows you to observe your feelings and thoughts without judgment, confronting pain with an open heart. Through mindfulness, one learns to recognize negative thought patterns and respond to them with kindness rather than getting entangled in them.

3. Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment

At the heart of self-compassion is self-kindness. This means actively soothing and caring for oneself, as opposed to engaging in harsh self-criticism. Replacing self-criticism with a kind voice can significantly alter how you relate to yourself post-trauma.

Practical Steps to Cultivate Compassion After Trauma

Cultivating compassion is a deliberate practice that requires patience and consistency. Here are practical steps to start incorporating it into your healing journey:

* Journaling with Compassion: Use journaling to express your feelings and thoughts. Approach what you would typically judge with a sense of understanding and kindness. Write yourself letters of support and understanding, as you would to a friend in need.
* Mindfulness and Meditation Practices: Engage in mindfulness meditation focusing on compassion, both for yourself and others. Guided meditations can be particularly helpful in developing a compassionate mindset.
* Seek Connection: Find support groups or communities of individuals with similar experiences. Sharing your story and hearing others can nurture a sense of belonging and compassion.
* Self-Care Rituals: Incorporate self-care rituals into your daily routine. This could be anything from a soothing bath, reading, exercising, or engaging in a hobby you love. These acts of kindness towards oneself reinforce feelings of worthiness and self-compassion.

Conclusion

Embarking on a journey of cultivating compassion after experiencing trauma is by no means an easy feat. It requires confronting pain, practicing patience, and consistently choosing kindness both for yourself and others. However, the transformative power of compassion in the healing process cannot be understated. It can turn wounds into wisdom, isolation into connection, and self-criticism into love. Remember, the journey towards healing and compassion is not a solitary one; support is available, and every step, no matter how small, is a step towards a more compassionate self.

For anyone walking this path, remember, your feelings are valid, your experiences do not define your worth, and with time and support, healing is not just a possibility but a reality. Cultivating compassion isn’t just about making peace with the past; it’s about building a foundation for a future filled with kindness, understanding, and love—first and foremost, for yourself.

In a world that’s always pushing us to perform, to do, to measure up, it’s so easy to lose ourselves. When you add narcissistic abuse—whether from parents, partners, or family—it’s like a wrecking ball to your freedom. You’re told your feelings don’t matter, your ideas aren’t valid, and your autonomy? Forget about it. That kind of abuse strips away your sense of identity, leaving you feeling lost, wondering, Who am I? What do I even want? If you’re a victim of narcissistic abuse, that ache to find your authentic self isn’t just about self-discovery—it’s about healing toxic shame, stopping the self-gaslighting, finding your voice, and kicking the addiction to other people’s approval. It’s about making it your mission to connect with your inner self, embodied, first. Here’s my take: the more lost you feel, the closer you are to realizing you’ve been home all along. Let’s talk about how to come back to your soul, connect with God, unleash your creative expression, and trust the process of your purpose unfolding. #NarcissisticAbuse #TraumaHealing #SelfDiscovery

The Pain of Losing Yourself

Narcissistic abuse does a number on your sense of self. Whether it’s a parent dismissing your emotions or a partner shaming your every move, you’re taught to shrink, to hide, to perform for their approval. I’ve been there, and I’ve seen it in my clients—that constant questioning: Am I enough? What do they think of me? It’s exhausting, and it leaves you disconnected from your own heart. You might not even know what you desire or where you belong. That’s not just emotional—it’s spiritual and physical too. The gut-brain connection shows how chronic stress from abuse can lead to issues like IBS, leaky gut, or even autoimmune disorders. Your body’s carrying the weight of that toxic shame, and it’s time to set it free.

For spiritual businesswomen, this hits extra hard. Your God-given mission is to embody your purpose, but narcissistic abuse leaves you stuck, seeking validation outside yourself. I’ve had to unlearn this need to “measure up” to show up authentically in my work. Healing isn’t just about finding yourself—it’s about coming home to your soul, where God’s light and your creativity can shine.

Healing Toxic Shame and Self-Gaslighting

Narcissistic abuse trains you to doubt your reality. You gaslight yourself, thinking, Maybe I’m too sensitive. Maybe I’m wrong. That toxic shame makes you feel inherently flawed, like your voice doesn’t matter. But here’s the truth: you’re not broken. Your feelings, your ideas, your desires—they’re valid. Healing starts with validating your own voice. Try journaling or speaking your truth out loud, even if it’s just to yourself at first. It’s like telling that inner critic, “I’m allowed to exist.” Resources like Psych Central’s guide to self-validation can help you rebuild that trust in yourself.

Your body feels this shift too. Releasing shame reduces stress, which can ease gut issues or skin flare-ups tied to chronic trauma. I’ve seen clients transform when they stop seeking approval and start listening to their inner selves—it’s like their bodies breathe a sigh of relief. Check out MindBodyGreen’s trauma healing tips for more on this.

Steps to Come Home to Your Soul

You don’t have to stay lost. Healing from narcissistic abuse and CPTSD is a spiritual journey back to your authentic self. Here’s how to start:

Own Your Truth: Acknowledge the abuse—gaslighting, shaming, control. Seeing it clearly breaks its hold. Learn more about narcissistic abuse signs.

Validate Your Voice: Write down your feelings or say them out loud. Your truth matters. Psychology Today’s self-esteem tips can guide you.

Release Approval Addiction: Notice when you’re seeking validation. Pause and ask, What do I want? This shifts you from codependency to self-trust.

Support Your Body: Chronic stress from abuse can cause gut or autoimmune issues. Work with a nutritionist for gut-healing foods or try stress-relief practices like yoga. Healthline’s gut health guide is a great resource.

Seek Healing Support: Trauma-informed therapy like Embodied & Somatic Experiencing can release stored pain. You don’t have to do this alone.

Unleash Creativity: Paint, write, dance—express yourself freely. Your creativity connects you to God and your purpose. Entrepreneur’s tips for creatives can inspire you.

Your Purpose Is Waiting

The more lost you feel, the closer you are to finding your way home. That startling moment when you connect with your inner self—your God-given essence—is like arriving at a place you’ve always belonged. I’ve walked this path, healing from narcissistic abuse and reconnecting with my soul, and I’ve guided clients through it too. Your journey isn’t just about healing—it’s about unleashing your creative expression and trusting life’s process to unfold your purpose.

If you’re feeling lost, alone, or unsure where you fit, start small. Trust one feeling today, express one idea, set one boundary. Your body and soul deserve to thrive. Share your story below or DM me—we’re in this together. Let’s spread awareness about narcissistic abuse, trauma healing, and finding your true self. You’ve got this, and your soul’s ready to shine. #NarcissisticAbuse #CPTSD #SelfDiscovery #TraumaHealing #SpiritualEntrepreneur

Let him go. Die to the self and hurt like hell once. Endure his narcissism, and it’s death by a thousand cuts, hurting forever. Both paths sting, but which one do you choose? I’ve been there, and I can tell you—the path of no longer tolerating narcissistic abuse is the one that heals your health and saves your soul. Chronic stress from putting up with toxic relationships does nothing for you or anyone else.

It’s time to get real: grab a couples counselor, do the individual work, set boundaries, and take some distance. You owe it to yourself and the people who love you to stop enduring it. Tolerance isn’t love, I promise—it just enables their behaviour. Let’s talk about why breaking free from narcissistic abuse is crucial for your body, soul, and life. #NarcissisticAbuse #TraumaHealing #GutHealthMatters

The Pain of Staying vs. the Pain of Leaving

Staying with a narcissistic partner feels like a slow bleed. Every snide comment, every gaslight, every dismissal of your feelings—it’s a cut that adds up, leaving you anxious, drained, and doubting yourself. I’ve seen it in my own life and with clients: that constant “Am I enough?” loop is soul-crushing. But here’s the truth—leaving hurts like hell, too. Letting go means facing the pain of losing what you hoped the relationship could be. It’s raw, it’s scary, but it’s a one-time hurt that opens the door to healing. Staying? That’s endless suffering, and it’s killing your health. The choice is yours, but only one path leads to freedom.

Chronic stress from tolerating narcissistic abuse doesn’t just break your heart—it breaks your body. The gut-brain connection shows how emotional trauma fuels physical issues like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), leaky gut, or even gastric cancer risks. That constant fight-or-flight mode floods your system with cortisol, disrupting your gut bacteria and triggering inflammation. Bloating, food sensitivities, or autoimmune flare-ups? They’re your body’s cry for help. I’ve felt this, watching my health crumble under narcissistic abuse, and I’ve seen it in clients, too. Your body can’t thrive when your soul’s stuck in survival mode.

Why Tolerance Isn’t Love

You might think tolerating their behaviour is love, but it’s not—it’s enabling. Every time you let their gaslighting, blame, or dismissal slide, you’re teaching them it’s okay to hurt you. And it’s not just you paying the price—it’s your health, your peace, and even the people who care about you. Chronic tolerance keeps you trapped in codependency, feeding their narcissism while draining your spirit. I promise, love doesn’t mean enduring pain. Love means choosing yourself, setting boundaries, and demanding respect. You’re worth more than a thousand cuts.
For spiritual businesswomen, this resonates more deeply. Your God-given mission is to embody health and ease, but CPTSD from narcissistic abuse keeps you stuck—feeling like you’ve gotta be perfect, fearing judgment, and ignoring your own needs. I’ve had to unlearn this to show up authentically in my work. Healing these wounds is sacred, God-centered work that lets your soul shine.

Steps to Break Free and Heal

You don’t have to stay stuck in this pain. Healing from narcissistic abuse and CPTSD starts with choosing yourself.

Here’s how to begin:

Face the Truth: Acknowledge their narcissistic patterns—gaslighting, shaming, dismissing your needs. Seeing it clearly is your first step to freedom. Learn more about narcissistic abuse.

Listen to Your Body: Gut issues, skin flare-ups, or chronic illness?

They’re signals. Work with a naturopath or nutritionist for gut-healing foods or stress-relief practices. Healthline’s gut health guide is a solid start.

Do the Work: Individual therapy or couples counselling can help you process trauma. Therapies like EMDR release pain stored in your body.

Set Boundaries: Say No to Toxic Behaviour. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re survival. Check out how to set boundaries.

Take Distance: Space gives you clarity. Whether it’s a break or a breakup, prioritize your peace.

Embody Your Mission: Spiritual entrepreneur, your health is your ministry. Prioritize rest, nutrition, and movement to align with your purpose.

Choose Healing, Choose You

Letting go of a narcissistic partner hurts, but enduring their abuse hurts forever. You don’t have to keep tolerating the pain that’s breaking your body and soul. I’ve walked this path, healing my gut and heart from codependency’s scars, and I’ve guided clients through it too. Your chronic illness or anxiety isn’t your fault—it’s a call to wake up and choose yourself. Take one step today: trust your instincts, set a boundary, or reach out for support. Share your story below or DM me—we’re in this together. Let’s spread awareness about narcissistic abuse, CPTSD, and gut health, empowering each other to heal. You’re worth it, and your soul’s ready to thrive. 🌟 #NarcissisticAbuse #CPTSD #GutHealthMatters #TraumaHealing

“What do I do? What do I say? How do I say it? How should I look? How do I pull this off? What’s he gonna think of me? I gotta do this for everyone else. I can’t screw up. I’m so freaking anxious.” Sound familiar? These words are like a soundtrack stuck on repeat when you’re tangled up in codependency with a narcissist. They creep into every part of your life—your thoughts, your choices, your sense of who you are. And if you’re also dealing with gut issues or skin flare-ups from all that chronic stress? Yeah, that’s your body screaming for you to wake up. Healing from narcissistic abuse and complex trauma (CPTSD) is tough, but so worth it for your soul and your health. If you’re a spiritual businesswoman, your God-given mission starts with feeling good in your skin—let’s talk about how to get there.

Codependency’s Grip and Its Toll

Being with a narcissistic partner can make you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells. You’re always wondering, What will they think? How do I avoid messing this up? That codependent mindset has you bending over backward to please them, leaving you frozen, fawning, or just plain checked out. I’ve been there, and I’ve seen it in so many clients—your confidence gets chipped away, and you start doubting everything about yourself. It’s exhausting, and it’s not just your heart that takes the hit.

That constant stress? It’s wreaking havoc on your body. The gut-brain connection is no joke—science shows chronic emotional trauma can lead to gut problems like IBS, leaky gut, candida, or even scarier stuff like stomach cancer. All that fight-or-flight energy releases cortisol, disrupting your gut bacteria and triggering inflammation. Bloating, food sensitivities, or skin issues like eczema? They’re not random—they’re your body waving a red flag. I’ve lived this myself, watching my gut health tank under the weight of narcissistic abuse, and I’ve seen the same in clients. Your body’s begging for freedom.

Spiritual Businesswomen: Your Body Is Your Mission

If you’re a spiritual entrepreneur, you know your God-given purpose flows through your body first. You’re called to embody health, ease, and light, but CPTSD from narcissistic abuse can keep you stuck—doubting your worth, fearing mistakes, and feeling like you’ve gotta perform perfectly in life and business. That anxious voice asking, How do I appear? What will they think?—It’s stealing your peace and your health. I get it; I’ve had to unlearn those patterns to show up authentically in my own work. Healing these wounds isn’t just personal—it’s sacred, God-centered work that lets you shine.

Steps to Break Free and Heal

You don’t have to stay stuck in this cycle. Healing narcissistic abuse and CPTSD is about waking up to the truth and choosing you. Here’s how to start:

Face the Truth: Call out the narcissistic patterns—gaslighting, shaming, dismissing your needs. Seeing them clearly is the first step to breaking free.

Listen to Your Body: Those gut issues or skin flare-ups? They’re telling you something. Work with a doctor or nutritionist to support your gut with anti-inflammatory foods, probiotics, or stress-relief practices.

Trust Yourself Again: Start small—journal or sit quietly to hear your own voice without that defensive chatter. You don’t need to second-guess everything.

Set Boundaries: Say no to toxic vibes. You don’t have to please everyone, and that’s okay. Boundaries are your superpower.

Get Support: Trauma-informed therapy like EMDR or somatic experiencing can help release the pain stored in your body. You don’t have to do this alone.

Embody Your Calling: Spiritual businesswoman, your health is your ministry. Prioritize rest, nutrition, and movement to align your body and soul with your purpose.

Your Soul and Body Deserve Freedom

You’re not meant to stay anxious, sick, or small. Healing from narcissistic abuse and CPTSD is about reclaiming your God-given right to feel whole—body and soul. I’ve walked this road, healing my own gut and heart from codependency’s scars, and I’ve guided clients through it too. Your chronic symptoms aren’t your fault, but they’re a call to wake up and choose yourself.

Take one step today: trust your gut (literally), set a boundary, or reach out for support. Share your story in the comments or DM me—we’re in this together. Let’s spread awareness about narcissistic abuse, CPTSD, and gut health, empowering each other to thrive. You’ve got this, and your soul’s ready to shine. #NarcissisticAbuse #CPTSD #TraumaHealing #GutHealthMatters #SpiritualEntrepreneur

It’s gut-wrenching to admit that the person you love is breaking your soul and body, piece by piece. The truth is, when you’re caught in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, their hurtful patterns can erode your confidence, self-worth, and emotional well-being over time. It’s tough to face because, deep down, you might feel you can’t live without them. But waking up to the reality of narcissistic abuse is the first step toward healing, not just for your heart, but for your physical health too. Narcissistic abuse doesn’t just wound your spirit; it can manifest as chronic illness, from gut issues to deeper systemic problems. Recognizing these patterns is key to reclaiming your life. Here, I’ll share five critical signs of narcissistic abuse, their impact on your soul and body, and why healing is your birthright. Share this to raise awareness and help others spot these red flags.

They Make You Feel Inherently Flawed

Over time, a narcissistic partner trains you to believe something is fundamentally wrong with you. Through relentless condemnation and toxic shaming, they frame your normal human mistakes as a “character disease.” This leaves you drowning in toxic shame, feeling defective just for being human. I’ve seen this in my own journey and with clients—how this projection chips away at your self-worth. Their criticism isn’t about you; it’s their way of dodging their own inner pain. Key takeaway: Your mistakes don’t define you. They’re not the catastrophe they make them out to be. You are enough, and their projection isn’t the truth. #EmotionalAbuse #SelfWorth

Constant Criticism of Everything You Do

No matter how hard you try, nothing is ever good enough. Your actions—big or small—are met with criticism, blame, or frustration when they don’t align with their expectations. Instead of communicating needs clearly, they weaponize your efforts, leaving you feeling small and inadequate. This constant critique isn’t love; it’s control. Healthy partners lift you up and communicate with respect, not condemnation. Key takeaway: You deserve a relationship where your efforts are valued, not torn apart. Respect is the bare minimum.

Gaslighting Your Reality

Gaslighting is one of the cruellest tools of narcissistic abuse. They manipulate you into doubting your thoughts, feelings, and reality, dismissing your emotions as “wrong” or “overdramatic.” Over time, you start questioning your truth, feeling invalidated and lost. I know this pain intimately—it’s like your soul is being erased. Healthy feedback honours your feelings while offering perspective, not erasure. Key takeaway: Trust your instincts. Check in with yourself to find clarity without defensiveness. Your feelings are valid, and no one gets to rewrite your truth. #Gaslighting #EmotionalManipulation

Refusing to Apologize

When a narcissistic partner hurts you, they rarely offer a genuine apology. Instead, you get cold excuses or outright denial, leaving your pain unseen and unheard. This lack of remorse breaks your heart over time, making you feel invisible. I’ve felt this sting and seen it in others—how it chips away at your spirit. You deserve someone who owns their mistakes with empathy. Key takeaway: Genuine accountability matters. You deserve to be seen, heard, and cared for in your pain. #NarcissisticBehavior #SelfLove

Avoiding Accountability at All Costs

Narcissists dodge responsibility like it’s their job. They dismiss your pain, sweep it under the rug, or shift the conversation to avoid facing the harm they’ve caused. This evasion leaves you carrying the weight of their actions, eroding your trust in yourself. Accountability is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship—it shows maturity and a willingness to grow. Key takeaway: You deserve a partner who faces their mistakes and works to repair the relationship, not someone who buries your pain. #ToxicPartners #BreakTheCycle

The Long-Term Toll on Your Soul and Body

Over time, these behaviours do more than bruise your heart—they break your body too. The chronic stress of narcissistic abuse can manifest as physical illness, particularly gut health issues, through the gut-brain connection. Research links prolonged emotional trauma to conditions like irritable bowel syndrome, leaky gut, and even cancer.

Here’s what happens:
You believe something’s wrong with you, internalizing their toxic shame.
You distrust your actions, second-guessing every move.
You gaslight yourself, dismissing your feelings as invalid.
You ignore your heart’s truth, believing your opinions don’t matter.
You lose your identity, unsure of who you are anymore.
This dissociation and self-abandonment don’t just crush your spirit—they disrupt your body’s balance, leading to chronic inflammation and disease. I’ve lived this, watching my gut health suffer under the weight of narcissistic abuse, and I’ve seen it in clients too. Healing starts with waking up to these patterns and choosing yourself.

Your Path to Healing

You don’t have to stay broken. Healing begins when you acknowledge the truth of your partner’s hurtful behaviours and refuse to tolerate them. You deserve emotional safety, respect, and a life free from shame. Start by trusting your instincts, setting boundaries, and seeking support—whether through therapy, loved ones, or communities like this one. Your body and soul deserve to thrive. Share your story below or reach out for support. Let’s raise awareness and rebuild together.

Article by Tracey Nguyen, Holistic Nurse and Psychotherapist

Navigating a toxic marriage marked by narcissistic abuse can leave deep emotional and physical scars, often manifesting as chronic health issues like gut disease. The pain of narcissistic abuse—gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and neglect—can trap you in a cycle of denial, dissociation, and self-abandonment, rooted in childhood wounds. This blog post explores the warning signs of narcissistic abuse, the toll it takes on your mental and physical health, and actionable steps to reclaim your emotional safety and well-being.

The Reality of Narcissistic Abuse in Marriage

Narcissistic abuse in a marriage often stems from a partner with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or narcissistic traits. These individuals prioritize their needs, leaving you feeling dismissed, invalidated, or manipulated. The hope of a loving, fulfilling relationship can blind you to the reality of their harmful patterns. You may cling to the fantasy of what could be, ignoring the pain they inflict repeatedly. This denial is a coping mechanism, often tied to unresolved trauma from childhood, such as neglect or emotional wounds from a parent.
Women, in particular, may internalize this pain, dismissing their own needs to preserve the dream of a perfect partnership. This self-abandonment leads to deep depression, anxiety, and a loss of identity. The constant gaslighting—where your reality is questioned or distorted—erodes your self-trust, leaving you questioning your emotions and worth. Over time, this emotional turmoil takes a physical toll, particularly on gut health, through the gut-brain connection.

Warning Signs of a Toxic, Narcissistic Marriage

Recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse is the first step toward healing. Here are key red flags to watch for:

Gaslighting: Your partner denies your experiences or emotions, making you doubt your reality. Phrases like “You’re too sensitive” or “That never happened” are common.

Emotional Manipulation: They use guilt, shame, or blame to control you, leaving you feeling responsible for their emotions or actions.

Neglect and Dismissal: Your needs, feelings, or opinions are ignored or belittled, making you feel invisible.

Control and Domination: They dictate your choices, from how you dress to who you spend time with, stripping away your autonomy.

Cycle of Idealization and Devaluation: They shower you with affection initially, only to later criticize or devalue you, creating emotional whiplash.

Isolation: They distance you from friends, family, or support systems, increasing your dependence on them.

Chronic Blame: You’re blamed for their unhappiness or mistakes, fostering a sense of unworthiness.

These behaviours create a toxic environment where you may feel like a “dissociated puppet,” submissive and voiceless, disconnected from your true self.

The Gut-Brain Connection: How Narcissistic Abuse Impacts Physical Health
The emotional stress of narcissistic abuse doesn’t just harm your mental health—it can wreak havoc on your physical body, particularly your gut.

The gut-brain axis, a bidirectional communication system between your brain and digestive system, explains why chronic stress and emotional trauma can manifest as gut health diseases. Conditions like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), leaky gut, or inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) are increasingly linked to prolonged stress and trauma.

When you’re in a toxic marriage, the constant state of fight-or-flight triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol, which disrupts gut microbiota balance, increases inflammation, and weakens digestion. Dissociation—a coping mechanism where you disconnect from your emotions or body—further exacerbates this. Over time, suppressed emotions and chronic stress can lead to physical symptoms like bloating, abdominal pain, or food sensitivities, which may feel like they “came out of nowhere.” In reality, these conditions have been brewing for years, fueled by the emotional toll of narcissistic abuse.

Research shows that chronic stress alters gut bacteria, compromising the gut lining and contributing to systemic inflammation. This inflammation can trigger or worsen conditions like depression, anxiety, and autoimmune disorders, creating a vicious cycle. For those in toxic relationships, the body becomes a battleground, with gut health serving as a barometer of emotional distress.

Breaking Free: Steps to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse

Healing from narcissistic abuse and its physical consequences requires courage, self-awareness, and intentional action.

Here’s how to begin:

Acknowledge the Reality: Accept that the person causing you pain is unlikely to change. Recognizing their abusive patterns—without clinging to the fantasy of a better future—frees you from denial.

Prioritize Emotional Safety: You deserve a relationship where you feel seen, heard, and valued. Emotional safety is non-negotiable. Seek support from a therapist or trusted loved ones to rebuild your sense of self.

Reconnect with Your Body: Chronic dissociation disconnects you from your emotions and physical sensations. Practices like mindfulness, yoga, or journaling can help you tune into your body and process suppressed emotions.

Support Gut Health: Address physical symptoms by prioritizing gut health. Eat a nutrient-dense diet rich in fibre, probiotics, and anti-inflammatory foods like leafy greens, fatty fish, and fermented foods. Consult a healthcare provider for personalized guidance.

Set Boundaries: Establish firm boundaries with your partner or, if necessary, consider leaving the relationship. A therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse can help you navigate this process.

Seek Professional Help: Trauma-focused therapies like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), Complex Trauma-focused therapies with somatic-focused, nervous system, with narcissistic abuse recovery can help you process complex trauma and rebuild self-esteem and health issues.

Practice Self-Compassion: Healing is a journey. Be gentle with yourself as you unlearn self-abandonment and reclaim your worth.

The Path to Divine Health and Emotional Freedom
Healing from narcissistic abuse is not just about escaping a toxic marriage—it’s about reclaiming your birthright to emotional and physical well-being. You don’t have to tolerate pain or abuse to achieve your dreams. By acknowledging the reality of your situation, setting boundaries, and addressing the gut-brain connection, you can break free from the cycle of dissociation and self-neglect.
The journey to recovery may feel daunting, but every step toward emotional safety and self-awareness is a step toward divine health. Your body and soul deserve to thrive

FearFaithTrusting God
Fear is a powerful and natural emotion. Defined as an unpleasant feeling caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat, fear serves an important role in our survival. As a verb, to fear means to be afraid of potential harm, whether physical or psychological. There are moments when fear is not only understandable but necessary—like when an out-of-control car speeds toward us, when someone who has hurt us in the past unexpectedly appears, or when we receive a concerning medical diagnosis. These are legitimate reasons to feel fear.

Understanding Fear as a Biological Response
Biologically, fear is a primal emotional response. Our amygdala, a part of the brain, alerts us to potential dangers by triggering this emotion, often without any conscious planning. Its job is to keep us safe by preparing our body to react to threats. However, when fear becomes constant or overwhelming, it stops being a helpful warning and instead becomes a burden that can hinder our well-being.

Introducing Faith as the Antidote
In contrast to fear, there is faith. Faith is defined as having complete trust or confidence in someone or something. We often place our faith in family, jobs, or promises made by others. Yet, when we rely on things that are temporary or uncertain, disappointment can follow. True faith, as described in the Bible, goes beyond mere hope or wishful thinking. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” This verse reveals that faith is an active, confident trust in what cannot be seen or fully understood.

Faith in Action: Trusting God Over Fear
Faith is essential for a relationship with God. It is not just an abstract idea but a genuine trust that leads to action. When we place our faith in God—who is everlasting and unchanging—we find a source of strength and peace that fear cannot provide. Jesus Christ, the living Word made flesh, embodies this faithfulness and invites us to trust in Him even when circumstances seem uncertain or frightening.

Choosing faith over fear does not mean ignoring reality or pretending that challenges do not exist. Instead, it means acknowledging our fears but deciding to trust in God’s promises and character. It means stepping forward with confidence, knowing that our faith is grounded in something eternal.

Faith-Filled Affirmations

From Isaiah 41:10 — "Fear not, for I am with you..."

I will not fear, because my God is with me wherever I go.

I am upheld by God's righteous right hand — I will not fall.

Even in weakness, I am strengthened by the One who promises never to leave me.

From Hebrews 11:1 — "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for..."

I walk by faith and not by sight — my hope is rooted in God’s promises.

Even when I cannot see the way forward, I believe that God is already working it out.

My faith is active, alive, and anchored in a God who never fails.

From 2 Timothy 1:7 — "For God has not given us a spirit of fear..."

I have been given a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind.

Fear has no place in me — I am bold, wise, and deeply loved.

I carry the courage of Christ within me; I do not shrink back from my calling.


Marti’s Message

In a world filled with uncertainty, fear can feel overwhelming. Yet, by embracing faith, we can find hope, courage, and reassurance. When fear threatens to paralyze us, faith empowers us to move forward, trusting that God is with us every step of the way.

I recently heard a pastor say that Scripture tells us over 365 times not to fear. For example, Isaiah 41:10 states, “fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will help you.” Second Timothy 1:7 reads,” God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and a sound mind.” One of my favorite songs is Fear Is a Liar by Zach Williams. The beginning of the song is about all of the negative words that people may say to us and as a result we begin to doubt who we really are. But, the song ends with this statement, “Fear is a liar.”

Let’s use our wise minds and do not let our emotions take over. Let’s examine the facts and then make the wise choice of who to believe; the liar or the Truth.


Contact Us for Support

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the weight of expectations, battling fear in your decisions, or simply trying to hold it all together—you're not alone. Whether you're navigating motherhood, womanhood, or the unknowns of young adulthood, our faith-based counseling is here to walk beside you. Reach out today and take your next step in faith and freedom.

In the intricate dance of parenting, managing discipline is perhaps one of the most challenging steps. As parents, the ultimate goal is to guide our children towards becoming responsible, compassionate adults. However, in a family that feels emotionally grounded and connected, discipline should be approached differently — not as a punitive measure but as a positive, teaching moment. This blog explores effective strategies for maintaining discipline through positivity in a way that respects both you and your children.

Understanding Positive Discipline

Positive discipline is a philosophy that encourages children and teens to learn from their actions in a supportive and caring environment. It’s about helping them understand the consequences of their actions in a manner that promotes self-control and decision-making skills without breaking their spirit or sense of self-worth.

Establish Clear Values and Rules

1. Set Clear Expectations:
It's crucial to define what behaviors are acceptable and what aren’t in your family. This clarity helps children and teens feel secure because they know what is expected of them. Moreover, rules are easier to enforce when everyone understands them.

2. Consistency is Key:
Once the rules are set, apply them consistently. Consistency helps reinforce learning and reduces confusion about what is allowed and what is not.

Improve Communication Skills

1. Practice Active Listening:
Give your full attention when your children are speaking, and make sure to acknowledge their feelings. This shows that their opinions are valued and helps you understand their perspective, which can guide how you implement discipline.

2. Use Empathetic Language:
Instead of correction through criticism, try to empathize. Use statements that start with "I understand," or "It seems like," to express understanding and care about their feelings.

Focus on Teaching Rather Than Punishing

1. Encourage Problem-Solving:
Whenever a problem arises, engage your child in finding a solution. This approach not only resolves the current issue but also equips them with problem-solving skills for the future.

2. Reinforce the Good:
Make it a habit to notice and commend positive behaviors just as much, if not more, than correcting negative ones. Positive reinforcement makes children feel rewarded and encourages them to continue those behaviors.

Lead by Example

1. Model the Behavior You Want to See:
Children learn a lot by observation. By handling your own mistakes gracefully, maintaining patience, and offering kindness even in difficult situations, you set a powerful example for your children.

2. Apologize When Necessary:
Showing your children that everyone, even parents, can make mistakes and that it’s important to apologize, demonstrates humility and respect.

Provide Opportunities for Growth

1. Set Age-Appropriate Challenges:
Give your children tasks that challenge their abilities and help them grow. Whether it’s a simple chore for a younger child or a more complex responsibility for a teenager, these challenges can boost self-esteem and promote a healthy sense of independence.

2. Be Patient and Give Encouragement:
Every child is unique and will progress at their own pace. Constant encouragement and patience are vital to building their confidence and helping them improve.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

In navigating the complexities of parenting, having the right support can make all the difference. Whether you're dealing with behavioral challenges, seeking better communication techniques, or just need someone to guide you through the parenting journey, we are here to help.

Schedule Your Session Now: Don’t wait for the situation at home to become more stressful.

Take the first step towards a positive, harmonious family environment. You don’t have to do it alone.

Trauma affects people differently depending on their personal experiences, resilience levels, and the support systems they have in place. While the term "trauma" often conjures images of catastrophic events, it can also describe subtle yet impactful experiences that shape mental and emotional well-being.

Types of Events That May Cause Trauma

Natural disasters: Earthquakes, hurricanes, or other extreme weather conditions.
Violence: Physical assault, domestic violence, or war-related experiences.
Loss: The death of a loved one or separation from close relationships.
Chronic stressors: Prolonged neglect, bullying, or financial instability.

While these examples represent common causes of trauma, it is essential to recognize that what feels traumatic to one person may not have the same effect on another. This variability underscores the deeply personal nature of trauma.

How Trauma Manifests in Daily Life

Trauma does not simply exist as a distant memory—it often persists in ways that influence an individual’s behavior and interactions with the world.

Heightened feelings of sadness, anxiety, or anger.
Difficulty managing strong emotions.
Challenges in trusting others.
Fear of intimacy or attachment issues.
Negative beliefs about self-worth or safety.

Understanding these manifestations is critical for supporting individuals who have experienced trauma.

The Importance of Context

Trauma should always be understood within the context of someone's unique situation and history. Social support systems play an essential role in helping individuals process their experiences and move toward healing. For some people, professional interventions are necessary to address more severe symptoms effectively.

By deepening our understanding of trauma’s complex nature and its varied expressions across individuals and cultures, we can create a more compassionate environment for healing and growth.

Little t vs Big T Trauma

Trauma is a complex and multifaceted experience, but not all traumas are the same. One important distinction in understanding trauma lies in the difference between "little t" trauma and "Big T" trauma.

Big T Trauma: Life-Altering Events

Big T trauma refers to significant, life-altering events that often involve a clear threat to one's safety or survival. These types of events can overwhelm an individual's ability to cope.


Natural disasters (hurricanes, earthquakes)
Physical or sexual assault
Military combat
Severe car accidents
Life-threatening illnesses

Big T traumas typically lead to more acute psychological responses and may result in disorders like Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). They are often easier to identify due to their dramatic and highly distressing nature.

Little t Trauma: Subtle Yet Impactful

Little t traumas, on the other hand, encompass smaller-scale events that may not seem immediately devastating but still leave a lasting emotional impact over time. These experiences might not involve physical danger but can disrupt one's sense of security or self-worth.

Repeated criticism during childhood
Experiencing exclusion or bullying
Parental divorce
Loss of a pet
Financial struggles

While little t traumas may not fully disrupt one’s life at first glance, their cumulative effect can be profound if left unaddressed. They may contribute to chronic stress, anxiety, or feelings of inadequacy.

Comparing Big T vs Little t Trauma

Why Both Types Matter

Both types of trauma are important because they shape an individual's emotional landscape and coping mechanisms. While Big T trauma often receives more attention due to its dramatic nature, little t trauma deserves equal recognition for its cumulative effects on mental health over time.

Increased emotional sensitivity
Difficulty building healthy relationships
Struggles with self-esteem
Chronic stress-related health issues

Addressing Both Forms of Trauma

It is essential for mental health professionals and individuals alike to recognize both forms of trauma in order to provide proper support and intervention.

Validating all experiences as significant without unfair comparisons.

Offering psychoeducation about the impact of even seemingly “small” traumatic events.

Encouraging self-awareness so individuals can recognize unprocessed emotions from smaller life experiences.

Addressing both little t and Big T traumas holistically fosters resilience while promoting long-term healing for individuals navigating their mental health journey effectively.

Trauma-Informed Treatment

Trauma-informed treatment is a framework that acknowledges the widespread impact of trauma and integrates this understanding into every aspect of care. It places emphasis on creating safe, supportive environments where individuals can begin to heal without re-traumatization. This approach is relevant in various fields, including mental health, education, healthcare, and social services.

Principles of Trauma-Informed Care

Trauma-informed treatment is guided by several key principles.


Safety: Ensuring both physical and emotional safety for individuals.
Trustworthiness and Transparency: Building trust through clear communication and consistent practices.
Peer Support: Encouraging connection with others who have experienced similar challenges.
Collaboration and Mutuality: Valuing the involvement of individuals in their own treatment process.
Empowerment, Voice, and Choice: Promoting self-determination by offering choices and prioritizing an individual’s voice in decision-making.
Cultural Humility: Recognizing the role of cultural factors while avoiding stereotypes or assumptions.

Adopting these principles ensures a person-centered approach to care that respects the unique experiences of trauma survivors.


Core Components of Trauma-Informed Treatment

Trauma-informed care can take many forms depending on the individual’s needs.
Helping individuals understand what trauma is and how it affects the brain and body.
Teaching coping skills to manage triggers or stress responses.
Introducing practices like mindfulness or grounding techniques to manage intense emotions.
Encouraging activities such as journaling or art therapy to explore emotions safely.
Identifying an individual’s strengths rather than focusing solely on deficits or problems.

Using these strengths as tools for recovery.

Building healthy interpersonal connections to counteract isolation caused by trauma.
Facilitating group therapies where appropriate to cultivate peer support.
Addressing somatic symptoms through methods like yoga, physical exercise, or body-based therapies (e. g. , somatic experiencing).
Considering proper nutrition, sleep hygiene, and other aspects of overall health.



Benefits of Trauma-Informed Approaches

Trauma-informed treatment not only helps survivors feel seen but also actively supports their journey toward post-traumatic growth.

By adopting such approaches across different systems—whether in therapy settings or educational institutions—organizations contribute toward broader systemic changes that prioritize mental health resilience.


Training Gaps: Not all professionals receive adequate training on trauma-related issues.

Resource Limitations: Some organizations may lack time or funding needed for sustainable implementation.

Stigma Reduction Efforts: Overcoming societal stigma around mental health remains a persistent obstacle.

Addressing these barriers requires systemic efforts such as staff development programs, policy changes within organizations, and advocating for increased funding for mental health initiatives.

Trauma-informed treatment transforms not just outcomes for individuals but also how systems operate at large—all while promoting dignity and respect throughout the healing process.

Trauma-Informed Treatment

Trauma-informed treatment is an approach to care that recognizes the prevalence and impact of trauma on individuals' lives. It goes beyond traditional methods by prioritizing safety, trust, collaboration, and empowerment within therapeutic settings. This model emphasizes understanding an individual’s trauma history and adapting care to their specific needs, fostering recovery and resilience.

Principles of Trauma-Informed Treatment

Safety:Creating a sense of physical and emotional security for those receiving care.
Trustworthiness and Transparency:Building trust through clear, consistent communication and actions.
Peer Support:Encouraging connection with others who have experienced similar situations to promote healing.
Collaboration:Engaging clients as active participants in their treatment instead of passive recipients.
Empowerment:Focusing on individual strengths while encouraging autonomy and self-efficacy.

Trauma-informed practices not only benefit individuals who have experienced trauma but also create safer environments across sectors like education, healthcare, or social services. Supporting people holistically ensures they are treated with dignity while fostering long-term recovery.

The best trauma treatment is called Accelerated Resolution Therapy ( A.R.T.) and it addresses all the principles listed above and has excellent outcomes for many clients. Please take a look at this TED Talk video by its creator and you will see why this modality is key to healing.

https://youtu.be/vP7dx03arxI?si=jZfoxWEsb9RBNTdL

Is obsessive thinking keeping you up at night? Maybe you wake up at 3 am and you keep thinking the same thoughts over and over and imagining the worst-case scenario.

You might experience…
Uncontrollable anxiety…
Your stomach in knots…
Your heart pounding…
Your body shaking…
You might even feel stupid or silly for being so anxious.
Wondering…
What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I just calm down?
Will this ever stop?
If that’s you, you’re not alone. I was all of these.

There was a time when I was obsessed with anxious thoughts. I was drowning in worry and fear. My thinking was dominated by fearful “what if’s” about the future. I was a basket case of tense energy unable to stop frantic thoughts.

All I wanted was to calm down, be able to sleep, and get control of myself. I wanted to be able to think clearly rather than being overwhelmed with scary images of what could happen.
I needed to stop my obsessive thinking. I needed to get clear about what was really happening.
With help, I was able to calm down and think clearly.

Here’s what I discovered….
My obsessive thinking was driven by the assumptions I was making about what might happen.
That’s right….my thoughts were focused on what might happen…not reality!
ASSUMPTIONS were killing me!

What is an assumption?

Simply put, an assumption is something that we accept as true or as likely to happen without proof.

Where Assumptions Come From

Assumptions or prejudgments develop throughout our lives. Childhood experiences shape unconscious ideas and conclusions about everything. Throughout our early development and into adulthood we absorb thinking patterns modeled by significant others.

How Assumptions Act

Assumptions act as “filters” for everything that happens. These “filters” pop up automatically in our thinking and cause anxiety. Based on a lifetime of developing assumptions, our minds jump to conclusions that actually have no basis in reality.

It’s about spontaneous, involuntary thoughts that jump into our heads causing worry and fear.
We make assumptions about all kinds of things. We automatically accept assumptions as true when they’ve not been tested by reality. This results in worry and overwhelm.

What assumptions are you making right now? How are these assumptions making you anxious?

How to Let Go of Assumptions Causing Anxiety

1. Ask yourself: How true is this assumption really? Is this really likely to happen? Take time to become aware of thoughts automatically surfacing in your mind. Then reflect on these questions honestly and carefully.

Getting clear and practical about the situation you’re anxious about provides new perspectives. Taking a “matter-of-fact” approach generates a sensible, authentic thought pattern. It helps you think logically and calms you down.

2. Create a blank space in your thinking. Pausing to reflect on what’s really true in a worrisome situation, produces a void or empty space. Hold the empty space. Avoid allowing more assumptions to crowd your mind.

Keeping an open mind is difficult. It means consistently throwing out automatic, harmful thoughts. It means patience and offering kindness to yourself as you do the work of keeping an open mind until real evidence shows up. Then you can make a rational decision. Now it’s not an imagined answer rooted in your anxiety. It is a decision based on the facts.

That is how you can stop obsessive thinking. That is one technique I used to do it and you can do it too.

Several months ago, a woman overwhelmed with anxiety about a situation in her family contacted me. She could not stop thinking about the problems. She was losing sleep and unable to function.

We talked about the thoughts that were troubling her. As she sorted out what was really true in her confused thoughts, she began to feel lighter and calmer. She gained clarity about what was really going on.

I hope you can follow these tips and reduce your anxiety.
But if you are truly struggling with obsessive thoughts keeping you up at night, imagining worst-case scenarios, and you can’t get it to stop, watch my Free 10 Minute Video on How to Stop Anxiety at https://janekcoaching.com/how-to-stop-anxiety/. Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation at https://janekcoaching.com/schedule-a-call/

Many believers seek Christian counseling not because they’ve lost faith, but because they’re holding onto it by a thread.

Maybe that’s you—tired, confused, anxious, overwhelmed… wondering why the peace promised in Scripture feels so far away.

Let me say this gently: you are not weak for needing help. You're human—and deeply loved by God.

At God’s Best Christian Therapy (GBCT), we walk with people navigating:

* Anxiety that prayer hasn’t silenced
* Depression that makes worship feel empty
* Marriage and family tension that hurts deeper because you care deeply
* Sexual or relational brokenness carried in silence
* Life transitions, grief, or burnout that cloud your sense of purpose

We use Biblical Cognitive Behavioral Therapy—a Christ-centered approach that helps clients identify and reshape thought patterns through both clinical tools and Scriptural truth. It's not just about managing symptoms—it's about healing from the inside out, guided by God's Word.

What we want you to know is this:

* God sees you (Genesis 16:13)
* Your feelings aren’t failures—they're signals
* You don’t have to choose between faith and therapy. You can pursue both in grace.

If you're considering counseling, know you're not alone—and the first step doesn't have to be scary. You’re invited to reach out for a 15–20 minute consultation at no cost, just to see if this is the right next step for you.

*“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28

Post by Jillian Meher, LPC

Dealing with people who engage in manipulative behavior can be extremely difficult. The interaction can leave you feeling guilty, angry, frustrated, and stuck. Sometimes you don’t even know you’re being manipulated until after the fact!

Here are a few common manipulation tactics and how to respond to them appropriately and assertively.

-A question disguised as a statement

Manipulation is all about remaining in control. Asking a question could mean a loss of control if the answer is not what the manipulative person wants to hear. So, people who are manipulative don’t like asking direct questions.

To avoid asking questions, manipulative people sometimes disguise questions as statements. This might sound like, “I’m wondering why you didn’t stop by yesterday,” “I wish you would do the laundry once in a while,” or “I suppose you’re not going to invite me.”

How to respond:

Train your ear to recognize the difference between actual questions and statements. Only answer questions! Repeat the last few words of the statement back to the person in the form of a question. For example, if they say, “I suppose you’re too busy to help me clean out the garage next weekend,” your response can be, “Are you asking me to help you clean out your garage next weekend?” This will give you the opportunity to then say either yes or no.

-Making a personal statement and pretending it’s someone else’s

Again, this tactic is an effort not to lose control in the conversation. By attributing a statement to someone else, the manipulative person can avoid taking responsibility for their opinion. For example, “Everyone thinks you should move closer to us,” or “They said you would be better off going to community college.”

How to respond:

Ask, “Who is everyone?” or “Who are they?” You can also ask the manipulator to take responsibility for their own opinion by asking, “What do you think?” or “What is your point of view?”

-The silent treatment

In order to remain in or regain control, manipulative people might stop talking to you entirely. This is likely an effort to see how long it is before you crack!

How to respond:

Put the ball in the manipulator’s court by saying, “Let me know when you’re ready to talk,” and leave it at that. If you “crack” by begging them to talk to you or giving in to their demands, the manipulative person will use this tactic with you over and over again.

Dealing with manipulative people can be very tricky and draining. But if you stick to your boundaries and respond assertively to their tactics, your confidence in interacting with manipulative people will grow in no time.

Some people believe that fathers don't really contribute that much to a child's rearing. This is a large myth and research backs up the importance of father in a child's life. In this first part I will talk about how dad contributes to the child's development. In our second part I will talk about the stages of development and fatherhood and how that relates to leadership with staff as they develop.

The Father’s Contribution during Early Childhood
Be a back up to Mom.
Be involved with the child so that she can form a bonded relationship with someone other than Mom.
Be available to the child so that he can move away from Mom and establish himself as a separate person. At around four years, start taking the child out of orbit around Mom.
Provide an outlet for the child’s anger and frustration with Mom.
Lay the groundwork for development of the child’s sexual identity.
Be a source of safety and security.
Lay a foundation for interaction in future years.
Provide a parenting model for the child.


The Father’s Contribution during the Elementary School Years

Encourage the child to see herself as a productive individual.
Help the child develop competence in a variety of skill areas.
Foster healthy self-confidence in the child.
Help the child learn to contain and control his personality and emotions, especially anger.
Provide a safe environment for exploration and for learning both cognitive and social skills.
By active leadership in the family, free the child to be a child.
Clarify sexual identity for the child. Model what a son is to become and what a daughter is not to become.
Provide a parenting model for the child.


The Father’s Contribution during Adolescence

Teach the child how to relate triadically (to two other people at the same time).
Be a source of competition and modeling for a son as he grows toward manhood.
Affirm a daughter’s femininity and her growth toward womanhood.
Be available to resolve any leftover issues from the earlier stages of development.
Make his inner strength and stability available to the child, providing a counterbalance to the roller coaster of adolescence.
Model a good marriage relationship.
Present a unified authority with the mother to prevent the child from “splitting.”
Provide a blessing as the child moves into adulthood.
Provide a parenting model for the child. Provide mentoring.



Father Influence and Leadership


The Nurturing Leader; This is a leader who has new people that are training and learning the job while he sets limits with them. He also helps them with grace and care to learn the actual tasks of the job as well as the relationships involved


The Lawgiver Leader: This is the leader who sets down rules and expectations as well as defining jobs and helping the more permanent or problematic employee get on the right path. Having already provided bonding and connection this leader has the freedom to set boundaries with staff.


The Warrior-Protector Leader: Helping staff by fighting for them and against things that are problematic is very much a part of this leaders job. This leader also encourages and promotes initiative and the proper use of power in the work situation.


See Making Peace With Your Father by David Stoop, PhD

Post by Janet Henry, MA, LAC

Imagine yourself having to give a presentation at work, you stayed up most of the night rehearsing what you’re going to say. You have been preparing for weeks, and you hope to receive that job well done from your boss finally. You’re standing outside the door and peer in, seeing all the faces in the room in anticipation of what’s about to be presented, and you start feeling something. You start sweating, feel your heart racing a little faster, and are hit with a sudden bout of fear! What is going on right now, you think to yourself, I know this information inside and out?! Performance Anxiety may cause this…

What is Performance Anxiety?
It is an excessive worry or fear that can affect your ability to perform a given task, whether personal or professional, that may drum up physical symptoms and emotional distress. A type of anxiety that may present itself in anticipation of or during performing something like a work task (like a speech), a sports competition, or even a musical performance, similar to stage fright. It can also stem from not meeting self-imposed or external expectations, being judged by others, or familial pressures.

Common Symptoms of Performance Anxiety

-Intense nervousness

-Fear

-Worry about not meeting expectations (self or others) and/or failure

-Shaky voice, sweating, trembling, or a rapid heartbeat

-Dry mouth, nausea, dizziness, blurry vision

These symptoms can meaningfully affect one’s ability to perform, leading to either avoidance of the situation that may trigger anxiety or even leading to panic attacks. Some examples can be public speaking, test anxiety, stage fright, or sexual performance anxiety. While most people may just experience mild nervousness, others may have incapacitating anxiety that may hinder them from pursuing their passions, goals, and the purpose God has created us for.

Possible Causes of Performance Anxiety

-People-pleasing behaviors: fear that you may fail to meet others’ expectations in a particular situation, which leads to performance anxiety

-Family stressors: can lead to anxious thoughts/feelings, primarily if seeking approval from family members and establishing self-worth

-Self-doubt: can affect someone who may not be confident in their ability to meet societal standards, which can result in a self-fulfilling prophecy

-Past trials: negative experiences or reactions in past instances where you did try but it was received with criticism from others

-Social anxiety: you may get overwhelmed in social settings (office meeting/party/ church events) or completing a task before others

Coping Tools to Treat Performance Anxiety

-Breathing exercises: when you start to experience those common symptoms, just breathe! To help you calm down, your brain needs oxygen. Breathe in through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth, but go slow: inhale for 4 seconds, pause for another 4 seconds, and exhale slowly for 6 seconds. Do this for about 3-5 minutes.

-Try shaking it off: literally move your body around to help release some of that tension, hop around, flail your arms, move your head left to right

-Exercise: when you exercise, it releases endorphins, which help to override your stress response (a jog or walk).

-Meditation: It helps you to focus on the present, incorporates breathwork, and helps to ground yourself. Yes, your mind may wander but try to focus more intently on your body and breaths. We suggest practicing daily for about 15 minutes.

When we worry, it’s easy to imagine the worst-case scenario, but remember, what can happen isn’t the same as what will happen. The Bible is a great source of wisdom and direction. We find guidance in II Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (NKJV). We are meant to have a sound mind. My hope is that these tips help guide you to regain your power and become a more confident and grounded self. If you need a helping hand to journey alongside you for support, don’t hesitate to reach out. You got this!

Written by Cindy Picht, MA, LPC
How a Research-Based Couples Assessment Can Reveal What You’re Missing

“My partner says we communicate great, but I feel totally misunderstood.”​
​
We hear this a lot.
One of our counselors, Gerard DeMatteo, LPC, recently trained a group of pastors, therapists,
and lay leaders to facilitate a powerful relationship tool called PREPARE/ENRICH. This tool
has helped thousands of couples (including many at Light the Way) get clarity about where
they are and how to grow stronger together.

What Is PREPARE/ENRICH?
PREPARE is for dating or engaged couples.​
ENRICH is for couples who are already married.​
​
Both are online assessments that measure how you and your partner respond in key
relationship areas, such as communication, conflict resolution, money, sex, roles, and
spiritual beliefs.​
​
Couples take the assessment separately. Then, they meet with a trained facilitator who helps
them understand where they agree, where they disagree, and where they might have
misunderstood each other altogether.​
​
The power of this tool is that it gives you both something objective to look at. It’s not just
one person’s opinion anymore. It’s right there—in black and white.
A Real-Life Example
I’ve used PREPARE/ENRICH with couples since the early 2000s. Gerard was certified in
1995, and the tool has been around since 1980. It’s grounded in decades of research.​
​
Over the years, I’ve seen incredible things happen:​
- Couples who didn’t think they had any significant issues suddenly understood each other
in a whole new way​
- Engaged couples who realized they were heading in different directions—and lovingly
chose not to marry​
- Couples who felt stuck for years finally have the language to say what they’re really feeling​
​

I’d estimate that over 90% of the couples I’ve walked through PREPARE/ENRICH who chose
to marry are still together today.
What You’ll Get
When you take the assessment, here’s what to expect:​
- A comprehensive report of your strengths and growth areas that the facilitator
receives –
-An abridged report for you
-6–8 structured sessions with a trained counselor​
- Skills and exercises to help you grow in:​
- Communication​
- Conflict resolution​
- Understanding personality differences​
- Intimacy and shared values​
- Homework that deepens your connection between sessions​
​
It’s not just a quiz—it’s a map. And your counselor walks with you through every
step.
Why Use a Counselor?
PREPARE/ENRICH is a great tool, but it becomes even more powerful when you process it
with someone who’s trained to spot deeper patterns and help you work through them.​
​
At Light the Way, many of our therapists—Cindy, Gerard, Janet, and Esther—are certified in
PREPARE/ENRICH, as are our licensed Marriage and Family therapists.
Ready to See Where You Stand?
Whether you’ve been together for a few months or a few decades, PREPARE/ENRICH can
give you a clear view of where you’re thriving and where there’s room to grow.​
​
📞 Call 201-444-8103 ext. #1 to schedule a consultation.​
Let’s put it in black and white—and grow from there.

Discover Hope and Healing Through Biblical Counseling Books
Explore a powerful collection of Christian counseling resources designed to guide you through life’s challenges with faith and wisdom. From finding purpose and overcoming addiction to navigating grief, renewing your mind, and preparing for eternity—each book offers biblical insight, practical steps, and compassionate encouragement for every stage of life, including a special guide for teens.